I am just a dreamer.

[Storm]

I keep hoping something will happen. I keep ranting about this but I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo frustrated. I have been trying since february. I meditate. I blank my mind and go into trance and just sit in trance. I get no messages, no meaningful illuminations. I try to project and I am but I am stuck somehow and never fully project, then try to lucid dream. I am good at remembering them and that is the first step.. try all the positive umm........assertion? that I will realize I am dreaming. I try to visualize a dreamscape to jump into but I just fall asleep without waking in dreamland. Blah blah blah. All the people here who assert that they communicate with higher powers, spirit guides, get messages from power animals and such and I get nothing.

I read all the books, got all the techniques and here I am. I consider myself somewhat psychic and most things I do I do well with not alot of effort and this I can't do and I am so frustrated.

[Phoenix Blue]

Sounds like you have enough going on in the waking world. Focus on that first, and eliminate what sources of stress you can from your life. :) Meditation will help you reduce the stress from the sources you can't eliminate.

Once you have your daytime life in order, your dreams will sort themselves out a lot more easily.

[Melysande]

**smiles** I get messages all the time. My secret is..... I don't try. I figure, if Anyone wants me to know something, They'll make Themselves heard in a way I will understand whenever They feel like it, regardless of what I'm doing. Much less time-consuming. :)

[Azure]

What they just said. Especially Mely - what I find is that things are least obvious when I'm trying too hard. Let go and when the time is right, things will probably come.

Remember too that omens often come, not as incredible psychic manifestations, but in the simplest forms and moments in daily life. The appearance of the right omen or sign when you need it may be far simpler than you make it out to be.
Don't look, but start taking note of how certain things affect you and make you change your way of thinking.

Meditation can be very unrestful if forced. Remember that those momenst you actually drift off unsuspecting into daydreams can be just as revelatory.

In other words - it's right there, just don't try so hard or look so much. When you are ready, it will come.

[Storm]

:) sigh

[Myst]

Originally posted by Storm
Why would I need help once its all said and done? What would be the point?

Uhhh because there is life beyond this problem with your husband? Because Gods don't just give messages to people who demand them? Because you probably don't need a message from God and they're saying "you know what, make your own choices and deal with this right now, then later you'll have time for us"?

I really think the hint here is separate your faith and beliefs from your problems in the mundane - deal with mundane problems first and then spiritual, because the mundane is taking up too much of your conscious mind to let anything else in. Don't ask God whether what you're doing is right, ask yourself.

[Phoenix Blue]

Myst hit it right on the head. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. If it does feel right, it probably is.

[Storm]

:(

[WandererInGray]

To paraphrase Freud...."sometimes a crow is just a crow"

Not everything is a *sign* from above, and frankly, you'll drive yourself crazy if you keep trying to divine things like that. Just go with the flow.

As far as meditation is concerned, I'd suggest reading some of Thict Nhat Han's works on the subject of meditation. Which, I'd just like to point out is different from trance work.

In meditation, rarely does the mind "just blank"...but it's mostly about learning to let thoughts come and go in your mind and not holding onto them.

Honestly I think you just need to calm down and stop frustrating yourself out over this.

[Storm]

:P

[Phoenix Blue]

Quoth Storm:
I said I know that I have to do this myself but I guess the biggest thing is I wish I knew if there was a point to this psychic bond. The first time I saw him I recognized him. I knew I would love him beyond anything I ever knew. At the time I think this is crazy romantic slop but as time goes by it grows stronger and deeper as our friendship grew.
You know what I heard? Blah blah blah, blah-blah, blah-blah-blah.

My ex-wife and I used to say the same things about one-another. Think about that one for a while.

[Storm]

:(

[Phoenix Blue]

So all this means nothing. Nothing means anything. So why feel anything. It just hurts. I give UP. I don't want it anymore. Keep the drivel. I am just a rock. I am not taking any path. Husband can just carry me for all I care.
Aren't you a bit old to be acting like a lovesick teenager?

Seriously. . . get your crap together and start acting like an adult! Take some responsibility for your own life--stop waiting for a bloody sign and do something!

Sheesh. . . :rolleyes: I'm reminded of the anecdote where a man waiting to be rescued from a flood asks for help from God. He passes up a boat, then a helicopter, because he's waiting for God to help him. No other help is forthcoming, and he dies and goes to Heaven, where he asks, God, "Why didn't you help me?" God says, "I sent you a boat and a rescue helicopter. What else did you want??"

Well, here it is--what else do you want??

[Storm]

[Melysande]

Storm.... perhaps stepping back is something you really *ought* to do. From everyone. Learn to love yourself and be yourself and live for yourself. Focus on you, rather than other people. When you've learned to do that, *then* go and try to make things right in the rest of your life. Running isn't the answer, but sometimes, a little downtime is what is needed before wading back into the fray to see things from a different perspective and find solutions that you couldn't see before.

[Phoenix Blue]

Quoth Storm:
And by the way the rest of the world knows nothing of my heart. No one. This is the only place I felt comfortable enough to let my guard down and release some pressure. Big mistake. I feel worse. Like a lectured child, small and stupid.
I can't speak for anyone else here. . . but people who hang around just to play the "poor me" drama can go hang around somewhere else, as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, everyone has their down days. Everyone has times when they just need to vent. But most folks are at least willing to listen when other people offer advice, rather than dismissing the advice out-of-hand time and time again.

If you don't want the feedback from other people, then by all means, write something over in the Altar of the Ancients forum. **Shrugs** You asked for advice, and you got what you asked for.

Sorry if that's not comforting, but I tend to turn off the empathy once I realize someone doesn't want to solve their situation but just wants to whine about it.

[WandererInGray]

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
~Eleanor Roosevelt


Honestly, you are not going on with things....at least I'm not seeing it. You're still talking about how much you miss him, when you have a guy at home. *shakes head* Make a decision. Stick with your husband or get out.

But like Phoenix said, don't come in here *asking* for advice, and then get shocked when people give you the straight line.

I feel for you Storm, I truly do. It's *hard* to lose someone. But at the same time you put yourself into this situation, and you're the only one who can get yourself out of it.

*shakes head* But only if you want to.

[Melysande]

**shakes head** I didn't mean for you to physically go away. Attend to your duties as you must, but shut off every thought you don't need and focus on *you*. Stop thinking about love and losing love and thinking about soulmates. *You* are your own soulmate, first and foremost. And you're not happy. Instead of dwelling on what makes you unhappy, focus only on the things that *do* make you happy.

"If you wanna be somebody else,
If you're tired of fightin' battles with yourself,
If you wanna be somebody else
Change your mind."

You'll find that you'll be able to make yourself happy. And when you're feeling better, the world will look better to you, and other people will like the change they see in you.

There was a book I once read called "She's Come Undone" and in it, the most important thing the therapist ever said to Dolores was "Make your own happiness."

[Melysande]

Some birds migrate. Others don't. It's not unusual to hear bird noises if there are birds around even in winter. What would be unusual is if the birds in your area decided they were going to serenade you with Sinatra songs (unless they were a mockingbird or an escaped parrot) or take a drive in your car.

Just because you see the birds and hear the birds doesn't mean anything. I constantly see birds doing what I think are odd things. Usually, I wonder if they're sending me messages from my deceased cockatiel or if they're just birds. But you know, as much as I talk about them and how they *could* be doing what I hope, chances are really good that they're not and that they're just being birds.

I don't meditate, so I can't give you any insight as to whether you're doing it right or wrong.

[WandererInGray]

You're the one who turned this into a talk about your "lost beloved"....*shrugs* We gave you advice on the meditation aspects and then the discussion immediately turned into questions about your *psychic link* with this guy.

And if I recall correctly, we've had this dicussion once before about the situation.


So....now I'm puzzled....what is it *exactly* that you're looking for?

[Storm]

I hear them IN my house. In winter with the windows closed. As of yet I have not found any birds in my house. Mely :)

[Storm]

Wanderer, I guess it comes down to why do things have to be good to get a message from a higher power. Why not when I could use a little guidance. Leave it at that. Forget what I want guidance for.

[WandererInGray]

Houses are rarely as airtight as we think them to be.

I hear all sorts of noises from the outside in the house, in winter, with the windows closed.

So *here's* the question....Do YOU think the birds mean anything?? Do you have a particular patron or matron who is perhaps hearalded by birds. Or is there one seeking you. *shrugs* both of those are possibilities.

I'm confused as to why you think it has anything to do with this ex of yours.

[Melysande]

Do you have a fireplace? Do you have a slanted roof? They could be in either one of those things to take shelter from the cold. Especially in someplace as cold as Wisconsin. For all you know, there could be the tiniest opening near the bottom of your house, and if a bird or a rodent found it, they would crawl inside and see where it led them so that they could be nice and toasty warm, even if it's beneath your floorboards or in non-insulated portions of your walls. And it's possible that you're not even hearing birds, but rodents. Especially if it's two of them mating or if momma has a bunch of hungry, squalling babies.

**has had birds roost by her air conditioner, and has had a raccoon give birth and raise raccoon kits in her fireplace**

[WandererInGray]

Originally posted by Storm
Wanderer, I guess it comes down to why do things have to be good to get a message from a higher power. Why not when I could use a little guidance. Leave it at that. Forget what I want guidance for.

*soft smile* Sometimes the silence is the answer, Hon. Sometimes it's Their way of saying "look inside yourself" for the answer.

The Gods don't hand us things on a nice shiny golden plate just because we are struggling.

I've got a poem to share with you....*smiles*...it's one of my favorites and it might help.


One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of the Goddess they were,
But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,
and I asked Her, "What have we here?
These prints are large and round and neat,
But much too big to be from feet."

"My child," She said in somber tones,
"For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait."

"You would not learn, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt.

"Because in life, there comes a time
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand."

-- Author Unknown

[WandererInGray]

*nods* A recommendation....*soft smile*...next time you hear the birds...just ignore them. Or say softly "go away please" and go on with whatever you were doing.

*shrugs* That's just a suggestion.

Do you live in a small town, is that why you see this guy all the time? Or does he still keep coming by even after ending things?

If the second is the case, I'd also recommend asking him to leave you alone, for your own health. *smiles and shrugs* It's hard enough to make a break like this without being constantly reminded of it.

[Melysande]

Have you ever seen a house finch? We have plenty of them around here. And they're called that because they love human homes. They will cling to a brick wall for a perch just because they want to. And they will chirrup and chortle and twitter away merrily and loudly (because bird calls are designed to be loud enough to be heard over long distances), and if you're not looking in the right space (might try looking *up* above the door sometimes) you'll never see them. They'll either be silent and blend in with your home's exterior decor or they will fly away faster and quieter than you can see or hear.

As to what your ex- is doing there.... sounds like maybe the moving away thing would be a good idea. Out of sight, out of mind, as the saying goes.

For patrons and matrons, meditating is wonderful, but perhaps you'd be better off starting your search in a book or online, rather than waiting for one to come to you.

That was how I ended up with mine. I was interested in Celtic and Greek gods and goddesses. But once I narrowed it down and it was a toss-up between Hera and Epona.... I was going to choose Epona. But Hera decided She wanted me. And she put two living, breathing peacocks on my path. (Peafowl aren't very common around here, especially seeing them strutting across the street and stopping traffic in its tracks). And then, after a few years under Her tutelage, I've been chosen by another One, Seshat, because evidently, I have a new set of lessons to learn from Her, instead.

The gods help those make the effort first to help themselves. They have a lot to do, and They generally prefer it if we could give Them a hand by doing some of the grunt work ourselves.

[silverm00n]

well I understand the frustration in this one, and don't be surprised if not many seem to answer it right. Dreams are so often misunderstood..

There's a few tips I can give you, but the thing about this is working on your dreaming should probably become a long term thing, and when it kicks in it should be like all at once.

First, this is what started me on it as a child, every night as you're laying in bed waiting to fall asleep, have the only thoughts on your mind be pondering what it's like when your body/mind cross over from being awake to being asleep, like how does it feel to fall asleep?? Concentrate on that notion, just ponder it silently, don't worry too much.. Now you want to do this EVERY night, I know that sounds odd but that's how it works best. As a kid it took like a week or two, but I've heard it can take a month or two for some people. The key is to stick with it, as it will work eventually, no matter who you are.

Once in the dream there's some keys to getting more lucid in your dreams. (Btw, I recommend seeing the movie "Waking Life" which can be rented from blockbuster or something, it gets into lucid dreams a little, but it's an arty type movie) A few keys would be to try and look at your hands, when you're in the dream. If your dreaming self can look at your hands it'll mean two things... 1) that you've passed on a concious will to your dreaming state, and 2) that you recognize in the dreaming state who YOU really are.. those can be very helpful in maintaining the lucid dreaming.

You're going to start noticing other things in dreaming too, like it's hard to read writing, and electronics/light switches don't work, things like that.

The meditation thing could help you too, just meditate on that first thing I mentioned, on what it's like to fall asleep, I mean the idea itself sort of tripped me out as a kid, and one night in my dream I just snapped into place, and was like, "hey I can do anything here"

hope I've been a little helpful

[Myst]

And incidentally, as far as meditation and astral travel, some people take years to be able to do it. Some people are never able to do it (like my friend who has been practicing for oh 7 years and still can't meditate).

As to this;


Wanderer, I guess it comes down to why do things have to be good to get a message from a higher power. Why not when I could use a little guidance.

Uh who says they give messages when "things are good"? Absolutely not true. They give messages when they have a message to give, and when it's time for you to have it. For instance, in my case, where I got called by Isis/Aset right after I miscarried and when I had decided spirituality was a big waste of time - things certainly weren't "good", and yet the message wasn't helping me make a decision either.

They have bigger plans then we can imagine, and they know better then us what we need to know and when.

That's why they're Gods.

[Storm]

Thank you all. I have been gone for the weekend. So sorry it got so out of hand. Like a burst open infection. I never meant to go in that direction. I will leave it at that. I was afraid to come back and read the replies but I am glad I did.
Simply
Storm