autism and parenting question

[Lessarey]

my son is 7, in the 1st grade and is haveing a very bad time with stealing and then lieing about it. anyone have any ideas on how to curb this, its really getting out of hand. the psychiatrist has not been any help at all. spanking and time-outs aren't working, and when you try to confront him, he just breaks down into hystaria. i thought about making him sit down and write something like "i will not take things that do not belong to me" 10 or 15 times...any help would be great

thanks :)

[Lunacie]

my son is 7, in the 1st grade and is haveing a very bad time with stealing and then lieing about it. anyone have any ideas on how to curb this, its really getting out of hand. the psychiatrist has not been any help at all. spanking and time-outs aren't working, and when you try to confront him, he just breaks down into hystaria. i thought about making him sit down and write something like "i will not take things that do not belong to me" 10 or 15 times...any help would be great

thanks :)

We had a discussion like this in the regular MW parenting section not too long ago. It's a typical stage that all kids go through, and it can be hard for them to learn and understand what is so wrong about lying.

Sometimes we unwittingly set up a situation where they feel their best option is to lie. If you see your child do something he's not supposed to do, don't ask him "Did you take the candy bar from the store without paying for it?" when clearly he didn't have any money and he hid the candy in his pocket until he got home.

Maybe just start out by saying, "Oh no, you took a candy bar without paying for it. Let's talk about that." You can explain that you understand wanting to have something, but that you must pay for things when you get them at the store. Maybe you could ask him if he'd be willing to do some chores to pay for things like candy bars so he wouldn't have to ask you to buy them - especially if he's pretty sure the answer would be "no."

If you both think that's a good idea, you could give him a chore, then give him the money, and then he can take the money to the store along with the wrapper and pay for the candy he took and ate (I assume he already ate it and you found just the wrapper).

The trick isn't to convince him he's doing something wrong, but to demonstrate what the right thing is and then give praise for doing that.


I can highly recommend the parenting articles at http://www.loveandlogic.com/.

[Lessarey]

i wish it was as easy as taking something from the store...he's steraling things like iPods and hand-held game systems from other kids at school, and we are not finding them till he either gets caught with them in class or brings them home. would letting him have his own curb his wanting or needing to take from other children? see the dilemma? lol

thank you for the link, lunacie :)

[Lunacie]

Yep, that sounds serious. Sounds like it's happened several times.

Maybe you could take away all of his toys and games to show him how it feels to have things taken away, and then let him earn them back by paying for them by doing chores or by good behavior (no more stealing).

You might even have to take away some priviledges like computer time or Game Boy time until he starts to cooperate.