Using Tarot as a Crutch?

[Amethyst Rose]

I used to read tarot online (for money), and I used to come across people who would want me to read for them every day. I met someone who became an online "friend" and every time he talked to me he would want me to do a reading for him -- simply because what I told him, always came true. It came to the point that he wanted me to do a reading, just so he would see what what would happen in every given situation.
I ended up telling him that I wouldn't read for him because he was using tarot as a crutch...not facing his own challenges, because he already (thought) knew the outcome.
For example...he wanted to know if he would pass an important test. I asked him that if I told him "no" would he still take the test...and he said, "No." So I told him then no, I won't do the reading....unless you take the test REGARDLESS of what I say.
Is this making sense?
What do you think of using the tarot as a crutch? Do you see if often? What do you suggest to people who do it?

[MidnightSun]

MM :)

*nods* I was in a situation identical to that before. A friend wanted a reading all the time. I eventually had to tell him that I wasn't going to be doing readings for him anymore. So he went out and go his own divinitory objects for himself. I've also seen people use the tarot and other things as crutches for their own natural psychic abilities. I was taught that you should use both equally.

[Flaire-FireStar]

Well, fortunately, I've never had to deal with anyone like that. Personally, I wouldn't read for someone if they asked time after time after time with next to no time in between readings. Some things take time to develop, and I think that if that's what the cards were saying, the person should wait for at least a month before coming back for (possibly) a clarification reading.

[Mithrea]

If we are talking about reading for money, that is something different though. If I was doing free readings for someone over and over again, I would be very annoyed. But if this was a paying customer, that would be different. I'm not their crutch police. I provide a service and I wouldn't regulate the number of times they get a reading as long as they were paying. What they do with the information is not my business.

[Amethyst Rose]

Yes, for money, you're right...but I still would have it in the back of my mind that what they're doing isn't a good thing....
As to the guy who kept asking me for readings, he was an online friend who I met while doing the readings.... I never charged him for them. Sorry for the confusion. :)

[Raevyn]

Sometimes someone up there is saying you know what, you don't need to know yet.

That person would be perturbing to me too, Amethyst Rose, good for you for speaking your mind about it. I guess that's part of the reason why I stopped doing readings all the time, people would ask for answers that they knew themselves but didn't want to deal with, or would expect an easy answer rather then making up their own mind. (not that that's necessarily a bad thing, but I don't want to be responsible for people using cards or my opinion instead of thinking for themselves)

[Dagda Moon~Lily]

I think I would tell even the paying customers that getting a reading every day....or whatever the case may be....isn't going to let the situation progress enough to get clear readings. ....that the cards will just start "throwing out junk" cards and interpretation would be confusing.

I have a girl friend who wanted a reading every time she came to visit me. I had to eventually tell her that I couldn't read for her that often. I had to set limits for her....so once every 3-6 months she gets a reading.

Unfortunately......I have used it as a crutch myself. ....and I know that the cards will react to readings too close together. Readings would just come out a mangled mess. Once I stopped relying on the cards for answers ...then the readings would come back into sync.

[Ravens_Tears]

I'd tell them to go buy a deck of cards and learn to read their own....Might make them realize how much energy and thought really goes into the process. I think it is just plain rude of them to ask you so often. You have every right to be annoyed, and people can most certainly turn into reading junkies. Don't ever be afraid to just say no

[tarotbear]

Anything can be a crutch...

The question here is when are you providing a service and when are you being an "enabler?"

In reality, we can start another discussion here-- how often should you read cards for the same querent? How many times can you answer the same question for the same querent? When do you tell a querent ( paying or non-paying) that the Universe is not predicated upon such tiny terms as these and what they DO will affect their futures rather than what they DO NOT do?

A long time ago my mother ( not a Tarot enthusiast, believe me) once asked me -'Do you live your life by this stuff?' I get a single daily reading done for me from a place in England ( I know it's computer generated). Sometimes this info is so on the ball it frightens even me. HOWEVER - because the reading may hint that the workplace may be unfriendly today does not make me call out and not go to work ( Calling out may be burdening my coworkers which is why the workplace may be unfriendly today). I go to work away FOREARMED with the knowledge that things may not be smooth today and ready to meet the challenge head-on. That is what Tarot does for me.

[Silver Venus]

Originally posted by tarotbear
Anything can be a crutch...

The question here is when are you providing a service and when are you being an "enabler?"

In reality, we can start another discussion here-- how often should you read cards for the same querent? How many times can you answer the same question for the same querent? When do you tell a querent ( paying or non-paying) that the Universe is not predicated upon such tiny terms as these and what they DO will affect their futures rather than what they DO NOT do?

A long time ago my mother ( not a Tarot enthusiast, believe me) once asked me -'Do you live your life by this stuff?' I get a single daily reading done for me from a place in England ( I know it's computer generated). Sometimes this info is so on the ball it frightens even me. HOWEVER - because the reading may hint that the workplace may be unfriendly today does not make me call out and not go to work ( Calling out may be burdening my coworkers which is why the workplace may be unfriendly today). I go to work away FOREARMED with the knowledge that things may not be smooth today and ready to meet the challenge head-on. That is what Tarot does for me.

& what about ~ does 'knowing' if its going to be a bad or good day, affect our day at all? :)

I think that tarot can also be a great therapy tool for people who need it, but I know what you mean about people constantly asking for readings, it is fustrating as they dont see that they are using it as a therapy crutch too.
Id tell the querrant to try and resolve the problems within their own reflection and thoughts and take a break from tarot for a while.

[Nina]

I used to pull a card each day for myself, but that was more as a learning process.

I do read for myself on a monthly basis, as part of my New Moon ritual. I don't tend to ask a specific question though. I get quite a lot of information that way, and often I come across situations in the month that were inferred by the cards.

I've recently got the Goddess Tarot deck, so I will probably start to pull a card a day again, just to get familiar with them.

I was surprised how often the cards I was learning did have a connection to my day when I looked at them again at night.

Actually - I've just had a thought - I think I might try pulling a card at night, and seeing whether it has any connection to the day just past. Might be interesting!!

[Silver Venus]

:wave: great to see you back Nina :)

[Nina]

Thanks darl!! Now work is a little less frantic, I can spend some time here again!

Love your new avatar, by the way!

[Silver Venus]

((hugs)) so pleased you can be around here more, I wanted to ask you why you werent about the last time you came round but then forgot.
:boing: