Plans to Commemorate?

[Danustouch]

Do any of you have any specific plans to commemorate the one year anniversary of September 11th (is commemorate the correct word?). I was reading an article on MSNBC about differen't plans that various cities across the US are making to mark the anniversary.

http://www.msnbc.com/news/799125.asp?0si=-

We live right between two churches, practically, so I know when 8:46 comes around, I'll be able to take a few moments for silent meditation, and remembering. And I'll probably light a candle at that moment as well.

Other than that, I really don't know of anything going on in my town, and I don't have cable, so can't really watch any of the larger memorials on television. So, I'll probably just spend the day remembering in my heart. And listening to some music that brings back memories of that day.

[manstranger]

Not really.

It's hard to beileve that it's already been a year. Or, almost. When my friend told me something about saturday night live on Sept 11 .. i was like ... why are you giving me so much notice? but it's only a couple weeks away.

I suppose I'll go out and pray with the flag poll people at school maybe, with one of my pagan friends so i'm not all alone. But other then that, I can't say i have anything big planned.

[Faery-Wings]

My girlfriend and I were just talking about this today. Her daughter's b-day is that day. We were also talking about how, almost a year later, we are still not ok with this. Her aunt's husband (her 3rd so not really considered an uncle, if anyone really care's :)) was in one of the Tower's and says he is fine. We cannot figure how he can be fine, and we are still not. Being form the area, we know so many people whose lives were changed. There was a Dateline interview with Lyz Glick just last week- we live in her hometown, and there is so much going on with dedication's to Jeremy as well as the other 4 people who died that day.

We also talked about what to do to commemorate. I had left the house at 8:45 to get Scott to the school bus. I came back at 9:00 to her frantic phone calls about "planes flying into the WTC." Not getting it, all she could say to me was to turn on the TV. Since I will be having to get Scott to school at the same time this year, I plan on doin ghte same tuhing, leaving at the same time, and doing my moment of silence at 9:00- that time signifies for me the moment I knew the world was not the same.

Other than that, I am not sure. If my town does anything I will try to participate. I don't know if they will, we just had a large dedication ceremony a few weeks ago. They have a beautiful new stone monument and fountain engraved with the picture of the fireman raising the flag (taken by the way by a photgrapher from my local newspaper), as well as stone benches that the school children collected money for during the last year.

I will be lighting candles that evening and praying on my own as well.

[Faery-Wings]

I was also wondering, is there anyone else here who doesn't feel like they are over this yet either?

[WandererInGray]

*nods*

I will be in New York City, quite possibly on the site for a while. Mel and I are going with Nallia who was standing outside not five blocks away watching as the first tower came down.
:(
We will grieve, be there as support for her, and do a small ritual for us all.

It's been a long year, but at the same time sometimes all I have to do is close my eyes and I'm right back there on that day. Trapped here at my computer, talking to Nallia on ICQ and doing my damnedest to comfort her.

I'll admit now I was merciless to her after the attacks...hounding her until she moved out to Colorado in December. But I'm glad I did. And now I just hope that she will be able to ease some of that ache and start the slow healing that she deserves.

After that, if the baseball morons haven't gone on strike, we will be going to a Yankees game. A fitting symbol to me, that this country will always pick itself up and dust itself off, no matter what is thrown at us.

[MammaStar]

Well, as for not being over it....WtchyChick I know is with you on that one Chryssi.

For me, I don't know if "over it" is the right word. I haven't been to NYC since it happened. I know PB, Wanderer & Mely are coming that week, so I'm thinking it might be a good opportunity to go. I should talk to my co-workers about remember that day, since one of our co-workers lost her brother that day.

I still continue to live each day, but I won't ever forget. Ever. I may not outwardly show it, but I will always remember that day and the countless lives lost. I'll be at work, so I won't be able to light anything till I get home. I'm pretty sure there's going to be a memorial of some sort in my town. We lost 9 people. Only 2 of the 9 were civilian. The rest emergency workers.

Sorry, if I didn't give a definite answer. I just don't have one. :(

[Danustouch]

You're not the only one, Chryssi, I assure you.

I still can't believe it's been a year. It feels like only a month, or a couple of months ago. I still keep feeling that something more is coming. I still check the news every single day, to see if anything else is happening, and before Sept 11th, I wasn't an every day, twice a day news type girl. I don't know what I do it for, it's not as if I'm *hoping* something else will happen, it just seems like it's become sort of a compulsive habit to me. Almost like someone who goes around their house, checking all the locks on their doors and windows before they go to bed. If I don't look at the newspaper, or read news online, at least twice a day, I worry. And another thing that seems really odd to me, is that we dont' have cable anymore, we haven't had it for about three months now. On the morning of Sept 11th, I was watching the television right after the first tower came down, and right before the second came down, in a feeling of absolute disbelief, suspended animation, as if what I was seeing, couldn't possibly be real. No..it HAD to be a movie. Now, I have this increasingly agitated feeling, because now, if something happens like that ever again, I won't be able to see it as it's happening, on television, or hear and see all of the reports. And print media really isn't able to cover things the same way television media can. So for some odd reason, I keep telling my husband "We HAVE to get cable again. I've got to be able to watch the news. I have to have cable. Have to have MSNBC". Morbid Curiosity? I don't know. All I know is that previous to Sept 11th, I avoided television news like the plague. But now, I feel very insecure without it.

Seeing it AS it happened, on that fateful day, and watching all of the coverage on it, even the six month anniversary, made me feel in touch with it, and a little less afraid of it, in an odd way. All of those who "Watched" it happen on television, kinda felt like we were THERE. We were part of it, it was happening, before our eyes. The most frightening things in life, are those that happen in the dark. The creature under the bed, the monster in the closet,
The creature from the deep murky waters. Having television media cover the events of that day, so thoroughly, I think, helped me come to terms with what had happened. It really aided in the healing process, by feeling so "involved". I didn't STOP watching the news for probably a month after. I had it on almost 24 hours a day in the background. Now that I don't have that, I feel very insecure. As if if something occurred THIS time around, I really wouldn't have that much insight on it. Knowledge about it..etc.

It's very hard to explain, but yes, the events of Sept 11th have really impacted my life in many ways. Ways I don't always realize until I sit down and really think about them. The way every time I hear a big plane engine, I look up at the sky, and wonder where it's going. How every time I watch a new movie, or see a picture taken in NYC, I look to see if the WTC is still there in the picture, or if it's a "Post" 9/11 clip.

No..i don't really think i'm over it. I don't think I really ever will be. My life has moved on, in some ways. But...moved on completely? No. Sept 11th crumbled the WTC. But, it also left a little tear in the foundation of every OTHER structure in our lives.

[Melysande]

Wanderer said:

After that, if the baseball morons haven't gone on strike, we will be going to a Yankees game. A fitting symbol to me, that this country will always pick itself up and dust itself off, no matter what is thrown at us.



And if they go on strike, we can always round up some 15 people and play our own baseball game. :) Screw the greedy "professionals".

[Phoenix Blue]

You could even play at Yankee Stadium! How many people can say they've done that in their lives? ;)

I don't have any plans - I don't have leave time enough, nor money enough, to spend the holiday with Wanderer. Perhaps we'll receive the day off. . . perhaps I'll just get up early and pay my respects at Reveille that morning. I don't know yet.

[WtchyChick13]

I don't think I will ever get over it. I still cry every day and have written volumes on the pain. I put one thing in the Poems & Lit board here: Almost a Year... (http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=18804) hoping that it could help someone else. I'm sure I will be posting more now that the anniversary is coming up so quickly.

Just last nite I grabbed the answering machine tape from that day--I saved it--listening to my mother's voice (who's away right now) saying that the World Trade Center is gone and "the Pentagon...well, part of it.) At the time, Flight 93 hadn't gone down yet.

I had only gone to bed around 6:30 or 7am and the strange thing is, the last thing I do before going to bed each morning is turn off the phone and mute the answering machine. (I also sleep with earplugs because I sleep during the day.) But I heard the machine click like it does when someone leaves a message and heard my mother's voice. It sounded like she had been crying and my first thought was that my grandfather had died and they couldn't reach me so they called her instead.

I started to go back to sleep, I was basically in "coma" mode since I had only gone to bed 3 or so hours before hand. But something made me get up and call her. As soon as she heard my voice, she lost it. All I could get out of her was "turn on the tv any channel" and "they are bombing us." I remember screaming into the phone "where, where, where?"

Then I turned on the tv to MSNBC, something about Brian Williams is very calming, and they kept showing this smoky section of NYC but I was still coming out of sleep mode and couldn't comprehend that what I was looking at was indeed where the Twin Towers once stood.

While I was on the phone with my mother, they said that a plane had just gone down in Pennsylvania, but they didn't know if it had been involved with the hijackings going on. At that time, we still didn't know how many planes in the air were getting ready to "bomb" areas of the US and since I live within sight of JFK airport, every plane going overhead was frightening to hear.

My best friend worked in the 101st floor of Tower One right above where the first plane hit. For two days, I didn't know anything and his wife never answered our calls or emails to see if he was ok. Another friend of mine had emailed me to tell me that he was on the phone with him when the line went dead and that was the last we knew. THANKFULLY...I received an email from my friend two days later saying that his company had just moved out of the Twin Towers two weeks before to the Chrysler Building and he was fine. I cried in a way I never had before.

Almost the same thing had happened with my Uncle who works for the government and his office had just been moved out of the Pentagon the week before.

Those first few days were frantic for me.

I stayed up for the next 4 days. I never went back to sleep. I stayed glued to the tv and to the internet. For some reason I knew to go to the WNBC-NY website, a site that I only go to once a week and instinctively went to their message boards.

That is something I will never forget. The first days were filled with "Have you seen..." or "My husband worked on the 102 floor of Tower 2" or "My uncle is a firefighter with Engine 1". One heartbreaking post after the other and I cried along with each one of them.

Since 9/11, I have built my own collection of videos of news specials, stories of how the Towers were built and so much more. On the 'puter, I've collected hundreds and almost thousands of pictures of that day, the recovery and put together mini-tributes hoping that maybe it would help me get past it.

I'm one of those people who can't stop looking at it. I think maybe in the back of my mind I think that the more I look at it, the more it will sink in that it is indeed real. That it happened. That on 9/9/2001, I was at an arts festival looking out at the water thinking how perfect the day was and how lucky I really am and two days later, with that same perfect weather, everything I ever knew of peace and security was shattered within a matter of minutes.

I know I'm rambling. I know I need to talk about it. I know I'm a basket case.

What will I do on the anniversary? There is a memorial set at that same arts festival a few days before so I'm hoping to go to that. On 9/11 itself? I'm not leaving my house. I will probably wake up (or not go to sleep) early, and stayed glued to the tv to watch the different ceremonies and specials that will be presented that day.

I believe that it should be declared a National Holiday and that all of us should be with our families that day and be so thankful to have them.

[Faery-Wings]

How every time I watch a new movie, or see a picture taken in NYC, I look to see if the WTC is still there in the picture, or if it's a "Post" 9/11 clip.

The weirdest thing is driving down there, and not seeing the towers. We would point them out to the kids- it is the landmark I also grew up seeing. The first time I was down there it was sooo disorienting. Like I was lost. Now my kids only recognize the Empire State building.

My husband works right outside of the city. He called me on the 12th- his voice just shaking., all he could say was "OMG, they are not there. Just smoke. "

I also feel the need to keep up on the news of it, to see the video shots again, kind of to make me remember the horror of that day- kind of like poking your tongue on a sore tooth reflex. I feel like i can't forget. Shouldn't forget. Even though I know I never will.

Call me crazy :crazy: ~That's me!

[WtchyChick13]

My big phrase after 9/11 has been "Boom! Something smacks you back to reality."

What do I mean by that? Very simple.

There are times during the day when I go on with life, forgetting for just a short time when BAM! Something comes along and smacks me back to reality.

Case in point...I was recently at an amusement park with my father. Kind of reliving old childhood memories. We were having a great time and remembering things from when I was a kid and then we got to this one attraction where a magic show was to be held and BOOM! Their backdrop was a painting of the NYC Skyline with the Twin Towers still there and a sun behind them.

Another time, in February. I was on my way to a family reunion in Queens and was joking with my mother about something in the car. I was trying to read the directions and do my makeup at the same time when I suddenly turned around and there was the NYC Skyline in all it's glory. It was the first time I had seen it in person since the attacks. I went absolutely hysterical and my poor mother who was driving, was trying to calm me down enough to get us some place to pull off the road. After all, I had the directions and she didn't.

It's like, no matter what we try to do to escape it just for a few hours, something comes along to remind you that it happened and in reality, there is no escape.

[Mithrea]

I've actually been very worried about this. I will have to teach a class that day at 1:00 and I have no idea what to do. Should I hold class regularly? I think I should. Should I talk about the usual class stuff? I don't think I can. I'm afraid of making any of them uncomfortable. I would be open to any suggestions you guys have. I'm also probably going to ask them the class meeting before.

[Danustouch]

Hmmmm...well...you do teach college classes, correct? See..the problem is that there will always be one in the bunch, that thinks he's a smartie pants and will say.."hey...I didn't pay for this course to talk about 9/11. I paid for this course, to talk about literature!". My personal suggestion, would be let them vote on it. When class begins, talk to them. Ask THEM how they'd like to spend the period. Tell them you understand that that day might be very difficult for people to get through, and that alot of them might be really distracted, remembering 9/11. And that you're willing to *Scrap* at LEAST half the regularly scheduled lesson, if they'd like to spend the period relating their memories of 9/11. Or ...you could have them write about it. Or you could even read some poetry or essays, or whatever, relating to 9/11, by various authors. I know they're out there. If you look. I think that your students would really appreciate that you are taking the time, to consider what they might be feeling, or what they may have gone through one year ago that day. It will make you more human. Which is always a good thing.

However, if you DO decide you should stick with the lesson plan...make sure they understand why...or knock them over the heads with your ruler and say..."Respect my Authoritahhhhhhhh!".

[Yvonne Belisle]

I will probably be hanging around online for those that feel they need me.

[Mithrea]

Originally posted by Danustouch
...or knock them over the heads with your ruler and say..."Respect my Authoritahhhhhhhh!".

This seems to be a theme with you today Danus :lol: . Thanks for the input to all of you who posted or pm'd me. Keep them coming if you think of more. I *really* want to do this right.

[flar7]

no plans. Just another day in paradise for me. I wish the best
for those who are still suffering though, and hope they soon heal.

[Old Witch]

I was watching CBS This Morning ....I still have no words for the shock and disbelief I felt.......and then for days I watched the news....I'm teary now thinking about it..... the feelings I had when the second plane hit........Well I'm crying now....Hard to see... I will light a candle at 8:46 am 9/11 for everyone who died and everyone who is still hurting...........

[Chibi-Fallon]

I like how NBC got someone to tell them how playing the footage of the buildings coming down would effect little kids. Kids under 3 or so don’t know that it’s not happening all over again and think the footage is live (so if you have small children, watch something else, or put them to bed).
Personally, I don’t wanna see any “it’s been one year” crap. If it ain’t on PBS they’re doing it to make money. That’s the bottom line. If I wanna watch some crap like that I'll watch "Lifetime" or something.
How is broadcasting it over the TV helping anyone move on? How is it helping to end America's pity party (which the rest of the world is *very* sick of)?
If they showed it from a Middle Eastern point of view I might be more interested. I’ve heard America cry and complain about how unfair and how evil everyone else is more then I ever want to again.
But seeing that we can't see Pearl Harbor from a Japanese point of view still I doubt that’s gonna happen anytime soon, if ever.

[Phoenix Blue]

Should we forget Pearl Harbor, too, simply because it was traumatic the first time? Or the Oklahoma City bombing? Or the Holocaust? Should we never mention these incidents and hide the gruesome images away for all time?

No. Let it be displayed in all its gory detail--give me the truth, or give me nothing at all. Yeah, the networks may make money from it. . . that's fine by me. We live in a capitalist society, after all; and they have the right to make money just as much as you and I have the right to make money.

How does it help people move on? Simple: Denial is one of the first stages of the grieving process. And as WitchyChick pointed out, a lot of people are probably still working through this first phase. Now, I don't advocate forcing anyone to watch the replay of the events. . . but don't go trying to sweep it all under the carpet just because the thought of seeing the images again makes you uncomfortable.

I think the three thousand people who died in the attack deserve to be remembered. I think the people who are in Afghanistan wishing for hot showers while we're here wondering how we'll spend the anniversary deserve to be thought of, and deserve the folks at home to be reminded why we have people in Afghanistan in the first place.

[Chibi-Fallon]

Phoenix_Blue, you think that ABC, NBC, etc. is gonna give you truth? Unbiased truth? Don’t make me laugh. They’ll give you what you want to hear, just like they always do. We’re right, they’re wrong. We’re good, they’re evil. Big deal, if you want truth you gotta go look for it. No one is going to give it to you. Especially not a TV station looking to make money.
I'm not saying we never talk about stuff but we don't have any sort of perspective on this now. On things that happened 50 years ago we do. Right now we’re mad, still reacting, and being rash. That’s normal. But now is not the time to be making judgements.
And there's a big difference between the images making me uncomfortable and being sick of them. I could sit and watch them for hours and not really give. It doesn't bug me.
I’m sick of America twisting everything to show how we are so much different then the “evil-doers” when we are just as bad if not worse. How about we add some footage of the US bombing civilians in the middle east?
And try middle eastern’s wanting food, family, shelter, not just a “hot shower”. When your home has been bombed US and the same people are dropping F-ing PB&J (did you know that only American eat peanut butter?) and pop-tarts, while worrying if the next time you go dancing or to the market will be your last.

[Danustouch]

Ya know, Chibhi, you really seem to have a Knack of coming across as really insensitive. You might not be moved to watch any of those programs, or commemorate sept 11th in any other way. But then...you didn't lose a family member, or loved one, did you? Have I? No..but I still care for those who DID lose loved ones, and family in that tragedy. And I'm still moved. If you don't care, that is your prerogative, but you could at least try to show some small modicum of sensitivity to those who HAVE lost loved ones in that tragedy, and not call the footage of those events "Crap" or talk about how the loss of those lives is so insignificant. In my opinion, if you DIDNT want to commemorate it, you didn't have to post. Or you could have simply said "NONE". None of us were asking for your tirade about how horrible the US is..blah blah blah.

Grrr.

[Phoenix Blue]

Quoth Chibi-Fallon:
Phoenix_Blue, you think that ABC, NBC, etc. is gonna give you truth? Unbiased truth? Don’t make me laugh. They’ll give you what you want to hear, just like they always do. We’re right, they’re wrong. We’re good, they’re evil. Big deal, if you want truth you gotta go look for it. No one is going to give it to you. Especially not a TV station looking to make money.
I guess that's the point of using my own brain, isn't it? I wish schools would teach critical thinking skills - because that's the skill set that would enable people to look past what they're fed and see a glimpse of what's really going on.

I can do that. I can view whatever the networks want to air and make my own interpretation. If that makes me a minority, so what? Should NBC lose the right to make money just because 80% of the American population (by conservative estimate) can't reason their way out of a paper bag?

I don't look at a major network to give me "the Truth." But what they do give me is important to me nonetheless. I form opinions and analyses based upon several sources of information--it's a poor day that I don't read Wren's Nest, MSNBC, Slashdot, and CNN, and watch Headline News while eating lunch to boot.


I'm not saying we never talk about stuff but we don't have any sort of perspective on this now. On things that happened 50 years ago we do. Right now we’re mad, still reacting, and being rash. That’s normal. But now is not the time to be making judgements.
Who's making judgments? I'm saying we should remember what happened - where does making a judgment play into this?


And there's a big difference between the images making me uncomfortable and being sick of them. I could sit and watch them for hours and not really give. It doesn't bug me.
I’m sick of America twisting everything to show how we are so much different then the “evil-doers” when we are just as bad if not worse. How about we add some footage of the US bombing civilians in the middle east?
Talamh, are you taking notes, here? I think this is a better snapshot of what's really being taught in American schools. We're being taught to hate ourselves, to hate our own society and our own government. . . and we turn around and wonder what's wrong with our society?

This past week, the government Pakistan sentenced one of its 18-year-old female "citizens" to be gang-raped, because her 12-year-old brother had been seen with someone from a higher caste. A couple months ago, Saudi Arabian "religious police" condemned 20 girls to death in a dormitory fire because they were not properly attired. And until we kicked the Taliban out of power, it was a fairly commonplace occurrence for women to be shot dead simply because they were out in public without the company of their husband.

Explain to me how our government is worse than this? Explain how you, who will be granted the rights to vote, and to work, and to live your life as a free woman, have the cojones to condemn America for commemorating our own dead and for making sure the masterminds of September 11th have a one-way ticket to the Great Beyond?

News Flash - Yes, Virginia, there really is a such thing as Evil. And on 11 September 2001, we saw what it was capable of.


And try middle eastern’s wanting food, family, shelter, not just a “hot shower”. When your home has been bombed US and the same people are dropping F-ing PB&J (did you know that only American eat peanut butter?) and pop-tarts, while worrying if the next time you go dancing or to the market will be your last.
See above. I daresay people in Afghanistan have things a lot better now than they did a year ago.

[Phoenix Blue]

Quoth Danustouch:
And I'm still moved. If you don't care, that is your prerogative, but you could at least try to show some small modicum of sensitivity to those who HAVE lost loved ones in that tragedy, and not call the footage of those events "Crap" or talk about how the loss of those lives is so insignificant.
Bravo, Danus!

Nallia has a very demanding job, so she doesn't get to post much. But she lived in New York City until last December. When the attacks hit, and when the first tower fell, she was watching from five blocks away.

Tell me that doesn't leave some emotional scarring.

And to add injury to insult, about a half-dozen close friends of hers died that day. How many of you folks have lost that many people you love in the same year--nevermind the same day??

**Sighs** Nallia's my soul-sister, close to my heart and close to my fianceé's. So when someone calls what she witnessed, and the ordeal she's going through for the past year, "crap". . . well, I guess I just sorta take it a little personally.

[SpikesPet5150]

PB... you took the words outta my mouth with those posts. 2 enthusiastic thumbs up, sweetheart. I agree with every syllable.
~Bree

[Mithrea]

Originally posted by Phoenix_Blue
So when someone calls what she witnessed, and the ordeal she's going through for the past year, "crap". . . well, I guess I just sorta take it a little personally.

You are not alone. That sort of thing is what I'm really worried will happen if I open the floor for discussion in my class.

[Annika]

Good point, PB. Several people didn't only lose just one loved one that day.

Nallia's posts on bnet, as the Twin Towers were falling, is exactly how I found out that the world was changing. I remember sitting in front of my computer as I was supposed to be getting ready for work, reading Nallia's posts and feeling the chills run down my spine.

My heart goes out to her, for I can only imagine what a difficult time this is.

One of my best friends, whose job at the time was concert lighting was on tour at the time. The band he was running lights for was supposed to be in NYC that day, but the NYC show that was scheduled for 9/10 had been cancelled and the tour bus was already out of town. I was sitting at work when he logged on to AIM to let me know that he was alive and could see the smoke on the skyline. He said they drove by the Twin Towers just the day before.

I'll be at work on 9/11 of this year.....but I will remember.

[Cinnamon Girl]

September 11th is my wedding anniversary ... last year I woke up and on a last minute impulse called my boss to ask if I could take the day off to spend with my husband. She said, have you seen, a plane has hit the World Trade Center. I turned on the TV and heard the announcers speculating on the cause and then saw the second plane hit moments later. At that point there was no question of whether it was an accident or not. We spent the rest of the day glued to the television, watching as many others did in horror and disbelief.

I'm not American born, although I live here now, and I didn't personally know anyone who died or lost someone in the attacks. But it affected me nonetheless. I think the disbelief of it has stayed with me these many months. When I see the newscasts of the widows and children left behind, or the reaching out and support that the world showed in the days after the attacks, I break down and cry. But I don't think my mind has come to yet fully fathom the devastation that these attacks inflicted ~ both physical and emotional.

True, terrorism is not new to the world and people may argue that the US is not an innocent in world politics, but no one deserves this fate and just because it's not the first attack the world's seen does not make it any less horrific.

On September 11th, I will have my moment of silence and prayer ~ for the victims, for the survivors, for the hope that someday these types of events will end, and give thanks for the presence of my husband, friends and family in my life, which is more than many people in the world have today, due to terrorism and violent acts such as happened that day.

[WtchyChick13]

Alrighty. I just logged on and read Chibi-Fallon's comments and after losing my dinner have decided to respond.

I know that this community is a place where we should respect each other's opinions, but I agree with my whole heart with what Danus said--Chibi, if you've read what the rest of us wrote and understood our pain, then you shouldn'tve responded to this thread. While I'm sorry that you feel this way, did you not understand that those of us who posted in this thread are hurting? That we are trying to find a way to cope with what has happened? Are you that insensitive that you must trivialize our pain and insulting our inteligence by saying that what is going to be broadcast is "crap"?

And did you know that Fox media is not allowing commercials on their stations that day? (I'm not sure about some of the Fox cable stations.) But don't generalize by saying that the media is just looking for money.

I actually got sick after reading your posts. I understand that we all deal with things differently. However what made me ill was to think that someone here would use this thread to diminish our feelings in such a blatant way.

If you wanted to contribute, at least have had the sensitivity to understand that some of us still cannot deal with what has happened. That we wake up every morning wondering if today will be another day of chaos and turmoil. That each day we cry for those who lost their lives for doing nothing but going to work on a beautiful September morning and probably thinking that they'd rather be outside on a day like that.

I find it disturbing and heartless that such comments could be made here after many of us have shared the grief that we still feel. If I were to assume that every time I shared my thoughts and feelings with the community they would be shattered by posts such as yours, I would turn in my MW "badge" and say thanks but no thanks.

The one thing that I've enjoyed here at Mystic Wicks is the feeling that for once, I can express myself and be understood. I guess there is an exception to every rule and it has been pointed out here.

[SpikesPet5150]

*hugs to wtchychick*

I feel your pain, sweetie. Try not to let other peoples insensitivity hurt you. And don't let it make you feel any worse about the situation than you already do.
~Bree

[WtchyChick13]

Thanks sweetie. I know that I have a tendency to be sensitive about things, but this really hit close to home.

I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who is still not over the whole thing and I'd hate to think of someone else getting caught off guard by such remarks.

Hopefully, this is situation is done. :)

[SerenityMoon]

i remember i woke up to go to class and was doubled over with pains in my abdomen due to an infection. i crawled out of bed to call my mother who said she would take me to the doctor. when she got there, i got in the car and my mom and dad had grim, sad looks on their faces and the radio on. i said "what's wrong?" and my mom goes "it's gone". "what's gone?" "the world trade center. it's gone. they crashed a plane into it". "WHAT?"
i remember how terrified i felt, thinking this was finally war, the war i'd been dreading during my generation. i finally went to class and it was on all the campus televisions. i was in a state of shock.
i don't know what i'll do to commemorate 9/11....maybe i'll just stare into the sky and sing the national anthem to myself

[flar7]

Moderator Mode

This is not political pagan, and I feel it is disrespectful to post
in this fashion in this particular thread. If you as a member have
some pro american or anti american agenda to talk about then
start a thread. Do not disrespect others who are trying to think
of ways to get over their grief.

Any more posts that are inappropriate and insulting in that regard
will just be deleted with no further warning. I also expect no
further criticism on this post. This moderation takes care of it.

End of Moderator Mode

[Sequoia]

*sighs softly*

I'm kind of still in slight denial, or rather, seperation I guess. Distanced. That's the word I was looking for. Figuratively and literally.

I live about 60 miles north of San Fransisco. New York may as well be the moon, to me. That far. And that close. . . . *shakes her head* I still remember . . .

Any of you who are empaths, any of you who sense things (and I know a great deal of you do). . . do you remember that morning? Did any of you try to reach out?

I was overwhelmed. Like being overloaded. My senses went numb, from it all.

I remember waking up that morning, a little before 6am pacific time. I never wake up early. I just kind of opened my eyes. It was odd. But I shrugged and went about getting dressed. Then my dad called. He asked what I was doing. I said I was getting ready for classes. He told me I wasn't going to classes today. To turn on the TV. The world trade center had been hit. America was under attack.

I'd never gotten dressed that quickly in my life. I was watching it. . . I saw just as the second plane hit, I think. I remember calling everyone I knew, even my friends out of state. . . I remember calling my uncle, and I think that to be honest. . . the most shocking event of that day was what he said. The towers hadn't even fallen yet, and he said (forgive me) "WE'RE GONNA GET THOSE RAG-HEADS!! BOMB THE LIVING HELL OUT OF THEM" or something like that. I think that was really when it hit me, this world, all the conflict. All that, hit me, because I heard this man whom I respect more than almost anyone in the world, say a racial slur. That shocked me more than anything. It really woke me up.

But . . . I remember watching, live, the people were crying, everyone was hysterical. . . and I remember staring, shocked, as the first tower fell. Utterly shocked. And I remember falling to my knees, praying to whoever would listen, when the second one fell. I . . . I couldn't belive it. It was so . . . surreal. Terrifying. I remember being worried beyond belief about what if they tried to hit san fransisco? My boyfriend (at the time) was there. . . *shakes her head*

I still feel so distant from it. A bit shocked. I'm probably going to be making a day-trip to new york with Yvonne in october. . . I've never been to new york before. But. . . if at all possible, I want to see if we can go past there. I. . . . I really don't know what to think. It still seems quite unreal. I suppose, in the way that the city itself is to me - to me, new york has always been borderline legendary. Same could be said for the white house, or the pentagon. You know they're real, but without ever having been there, they're larger-than-life, like a story.

And. . . someone tried to destroy that story. Someone tried to anniahlate that ideal. And even for those of us who didn't personally lose anyone, who have never been there, who maybe never will quite understand with the depth of those who have. . . *shakes her head* that story was forever changed. That ideal was twisted. But it wasn't broken. And it'll stand again. Give everything time.

"Time heals all wounds" may or may not prove to be true. . . for those who it does, let it heal. And for those to whom it doesn't. . . don't condemn them or critisize them. If people are accepted to be mass murderers because their mothers and fathers gave them time outs or their peers "emotional damage" . . . then for heaven's sakes, give these poor folk a little sympathy. This was a tragedy on a scale that most of this generation has never seen before. And to the coming generations, it too will probably face into a sort of "thing that happened in the past" as did pearl harbor, or JFK, or lincoln, or a hundred other things. But I bet you, I bet you, you can find someone who was there for pearl harbor or remembers it, and are still upset about it. I know for a fact that there are still people who cry over JFK - just ask my mom. Things like this may fade, but for some they are never gone. So don't you dare presume to say it's all 'crap'. Have just a bit of sympathy. Or at least, if you cannot, then pretend. Or hold your tongue.

</self-rightiousness>

[shnen]

I will probably have a moment of silence... and try not to watch anything on tv.. its still to hard to watch.

Just thinking about it I have tears in my eyes... wow, already a year....

[WandererInGray]

My soul-sister has posted this on other message boards, so I decided to go ahead and share it with you.

As you read, think about the fact that there were *thousands* of stories like this all over New York, and quite a few had less happy endings.

The effects of the attacks hit my sister very hard. She stopped eating (and lost 30 pounds she really couldn't afford to in the process that she still hasn't gained back)....she said she couldn't sleep, because everytime she closed her eyes she saw the towers coming down. She still hears the woman next to her screaming for her brother at times as well.

PTSD is a very real thing, it effects everyone differently, but it does effect us all...especially in this time of instaneous news.


September 12, 2001
Yesterday morning, I left the house a little late for work (about 7:30). I was in my car, on the highway on the way to Manhattan, and I looked up at the TwinTowers as I did every morning. I remember there was one cloud that hid part of the Towers, so that only the tops of them were peeking out. I remember thinking, "What a great picture that would make!" It was the only cloud in the sky for miles.

At 8:00 AM EDT, I drove right past them, like I did every morning. I drove right up the West Side Highway, right past the Twin Towers, and under the bridge connecting two sides of a high school almost right next door to them. As always, I watched the teenegers walking across that bridge to their first classes.

My car was parked in a garage about half a mile away from the Twin Towers, like it was every day, and I took the subway the rest of the way to my office.

I got to work at 8:35 AM EDT, after picking up breakfast. Not ten minutes later, my phone rang. The person I live with, was going into the bank (he works downtown near TWC), when he heard a huge boom. He looked up, and there was a gaping hole in World Trade Center Tower 1. That was when the first plane hit. I got that phone call before anyone was even on the scene. I was the first person in my office to know it happened.

I walked around my office, telling my coworkers that there was an explosion at the Twin Towers. Everyone looked at me like I was nuts. I went back to my desk, found the picture on CNN as the first people got to the scene, and created a thread.

I was listening to the radio, worrying about how many people were injured or killed, when the second plane hit Tower 2, not 20 minutes later. I just sat at my desk in shock, trying not to cry. Then I heard that the Pentagon had been hit also, and I began to be afraid for the rest of the country, and for so many friends that I have in the military.

at 9:45 AM EDT, I was standing outside, watching the Twin Towers burn. I could see people jumping from Tower 1, some of them on fire. There was a man, who was stuck outside of Tower 1, near the top, hanging on for dear life, while a helicopter tried to get close enough to him to save him. The helicopter couldn't get close enough to the burning building. That man held on for almost an hour before his strength finally gave, and then he, too, fell. He had to be hanging from at least the 90th floor.

I stood on the street, with a few of my coworkers, just staring in shock. Fire engines and amulances were flying down the streets from every direction. The fires were just getting bigger and bigger, the smoke rising higher and higher. As I stood there and watched those great buildings burn, trying not to contemplate how many people were in them, Tower 2 toppled to the ground.

A lady next to me started screaming for her brother, who worked in the buildings. People were crying and screaming all around me. Not being able to stand outside anymore, I walked back to my office, staring at nothing, hearing nothing, seeing nothing but the building falling in my mind's eye.

I got back to work and sent an ICQ message to Honor. People filled the conference room, staring at the television. I walked by, not wanting to see the replay of that building falling again, but turned around when I heard everyone start screaming. I looked over at the television in time to see Tower 1 fall, following its sister to the earth.

That's when I started crying. And I've been crying on and off, since.

I can still smell the burning of those buildings, as it's finally reached my apartment, 10 miles away. My chest is killing me, and my throat feels like it's been ripped apart, as if I was screaming for hours. Though I made barely a sound all day yesterday. The tears ran down my face, but I could barely make a sound or form a sentence.

The Towers are gone now, with who knows how many people buried within their ruins, and that bridge was warped by the heat. There will be no children walking over it to class for a long time.

[Old Witch]

Oh my Goddess................cries.........

[Danustouch]

((((((((((((((((((((Nallia)))))))))))))))))))))))))) :(

[mol]

Originally posted by Chibi-Fallon
Phoenix_Blue, you think that ABC, NBC, etc. is gonna give you truth? Unbiased truth? Don’t make me laugh.

Chibi, we could see the truth. Ya know...the planes dive bombing into building kind of opened our eyes.

SITE GOD MODE

THis thread is not about discussing 9/11. I am completely disgusted by your posts. Completely. Do not post one more comment about 9/11 in this thread. If you want to *debate* then go to political pagan and do it.

Unbelieveable.

Also, I am fully aware that flar has moderated this thread. I am just helping enforce it. This is also 2 mods.

[Illuminatus]

I'm not doing anything special. I'm sick of all the whole affair. Finally, after months of waiting, last month I could turn on my Magical Talking Box and NOT year someone blabbing about September 11 or the aftermath. Now my beautiful peace must be broken by an aniversary.

I'm going to work, I'll come home, eat dinner, watch south park, have sex with my girlfriend and go to sleep. And hope everyone else gets what they need out of this misery-fest, and get it out of their system.

- Ill

[Danustouch]

My original intent with this thread, was just to see how people who DO Want to commemorate September 11th in some way, plan on doing so. Maybe share some idea's. It began, imo, to open up the channells for people to talk about their lasting emotions about that day, and began to be very therapeautic to some. I would not like to see that end.

What this thread wasn't created for, was political debate. Rights/Wrongs of the war in afghanistan, media bashing, or anything of the sort. If people would like to debate these issues, there is plenty of room for that in Political Pagan. To me, bringing these issues into this thread, would be like walking in on someone's therapy session in a psychologists office, and holding a protest.

So...let's all just be sensitive of eachothers emotions, and try to be fair. Debate in a nother thread, if you must debate. Allow the healing for those who need it, be done in this thread :)

Mol, if i'm mistaken here, please correct me, I think that's what you were getting at with your moderation :)

[Danustouch]

And before anyone jumps on illuminatus, please keep in mind, everyone has their own way of dealing with tragic events. If Illuminatus feels that the best way for him to deal with it, is to move on with life, and stop talking about it, that is his method. Let's respect that, as well.

[Illuminatus]

Originally posted by Danustouch
And before anyone jumps on illuminatus, please keep in mind, everyone has their own way of dealing with tragic events. If Illuminatus feels that the best way for him to deal with it, is to move on with life, and stop talking about it, that is his method. Let's respect that, as well.

Thanks for premptively defending me Danus :)

It's important to remember to keep perspective. 3,000 people die every day, albeit rarely all in one place in such a terrible way. I'll admit that 9/11's cultural and economic effects were proportionally greater. But strictly in terms of loss-of-life, 9/11 was only 1/33rd of a Hiroshima, 1/83rd of the Rape of Nanjhing (which you've probably never heard of), and only 1/16,000th of World War II all told.

When you get right down to it, the numbers really don't mean a whole lot, since the death rate of the world has hung pretty constantly at 100% since the beginning of time.

Wait, I just conferred with the voices in my head... apparently, it's 40,000. Like the song says... "40,000 men and women every day... we can be like they are, come on baby, don't fear the reaper... baby i'm your man..."

Dwelling on tragedy cannot undo it. So just do as I plan to do the second Wednesday in September... live another day. Who knows, it might be a really good one!

- Illuminatus

[mol]

DAMMIT.

Ok, everyone has their opinion. But, that is NOT what this thread is about. Go start a 9/11 discussion thread in political pagan if you want to discuss it.

Last time.

Next time...I'll just close the thread.

[Danustouch]

Okay..back on topic. One thing that I heard people are doing to commemorate 9/11 is to drive with their headlights on all day that day. If anyone believes this to be a hoax, please tell me, but I've gotten it from three differen't people in email this week. I don't drive, so won't use that method myself. But if it's not a hoax, it might be a method some of you might choose.

I also heard that some people will be wearing black, with a red white and blue ribbon tacked to their chest. But...don't know if that's just a local thing or not :)

[MammaStar]

I received that email 3x too. I remember a post here as well. I think Wyrdsister posted it. I also like the idea about wearing red, white & blue that day. I'm definitely going to do that. I still have flags on my car too.

[Mithrea]

I don't think it would be a hoax really. If people want to do it then they should no matter how or why they got the idea to do it. I hadn't thought of a ribbon. I'm going to try and get one though. I think it's a good idea. After it happened, I was sort of tired of all the patriotic themed ribbons, flags, tshirts etc. mostly because it was a constant reminder. I couldn't look at it without remembering and then I was doing my best not to think about it so I could manage it better.

But now, I think I'm ready to deal a little more with it. I think that's what the anniversary will be about for me. I want to let those feelings out for some fresh air. I'm just not sure how I'm going to do that yet.

[Danustouch]

Yep...i know. I think that's what is motivating me to look for some way to commemorate it too. I grieved so much in the months immediately following, that eventually, I had to force myself to bury it and move on. Now, it's time to let them out again, and remember.

Kind of like when a loved one dies, you mark their yearly passing, and remember them on that day.

[MammaStar]

You know, I was thinking about the "driving with your lights on". Really, don't most of us do that already. I know my car has daytime running lamps as do most of the newer cars.

I think that's why, besides my candle lighting, I'm probably going to wear red, white & blue. :D

I also found out, there's probably going to be a candle ceremony down at the local park. I'll probably head out to that too.

[Flar's Freyja]

I'll probably drive with my lights on as I do every April 19th to commemorate our tragedy in Oklahoma City, and light a candle for them.

At least this family got some good news:

http://www.msnbc.com/news/799671.asp?pne=msn&cp1=1

[mol]

SITE GOD MODE

Clarification:

The thread is about how we can commemorate 9/11. Actually, I think it has taken on a new meaning, specifically a commemoration thread.

FYI.

Edited for more clarification!

That means discussions of the event and your opinions of the event are NOT on topic. However, discussions of a commemoration of that day are on topic.

[Danustouch]

Thank You Mol :)

[SpikesPet5150]

I was thinking about getting ahold of the radio station here that sponsored the Candle Light Vigil last year, see if they want to do it again this year. It was the single most moving, touching, beautiful night of my life. Being hand in hand with strangers, singing songs, holding candles, each of us brought together by a tragic event some 3000 miles away. I think that doing that again, this year, would be great. A reaffirmation of sorts. Maybe it's just me... but the anniversary of 9-11 won't be just a grieving period for me... it'll be a day to reaffirm my life, reaffirm my patriotism.
~Bree

[Yvonne Belisle]

For those of you who may be interested

Free copy of "Fallen But Not Forgotten", a 16 page remembrance
magazine about 9/11. US only
http://www.911remembrance.com/order.php

[Illuminatus]

You should have your headlights on EVERY day, even in broad daylight. It increases your odds of being seen and noticed by other motorists, and in turn, decreases your odds of being hit by somebody who isn't paying attention to what he's doing.

[MammaStar]

Which is why most new cars come with daytime running lamps!

[Flar's Freyja]

Someone sent me this site with pagan prayers that can be used as a guideline to create your own:

http://paganwiccan.about.com/library/weekly/aa091801c.htm

[Old Witch]

I thought I'd bump this up, what with all the rememberances on TV and such.........Maybe it will serve a purpose today and tomorrow........:(

[Danustouch]

Thank you, Old Witch.

As part of my personal "memorial" to 9/11, I decided to sit down this morning, and write down my memories of that day, and the following days, in letter form. I want to preserve it, so that I can look back on it when I am old and gray, and remember exactly how I felt on that horrible day. And so that when my children, or childrens children, ask me what it was like, I can tell them, without the effects of time to cloud my memory.

This is what I wrote:

I awoke early that morning, because our veterinarian was due to make a house call to check on one of my cats. It was the first time he'd been at our home for a visit, so I wanted to wait downstairs on the porch for him, so he would be able to follow me up to our apartment. I remember fixing myself a cup of coffee, while looking out my window up at a clear, blue sky.

There was the faint feel of autumn in the air that morning. I went down to wait, and marveled at how quiet things are that early in the morning around here. I sipped my coffee, stretched, looked around, and appreciated the quiet moments such as these.

When the veterinarian arrived, I took him upstairs, and was surprised that John didn't join me in watching the examination. As the veterinarian droned on about proper cleaning of a skin wound in cats, I watched John come out of the office, and turn on the news. Something that he never does. He sat in silence, brow furrowed, staring at the screen, and soon the Vet left, and I joined him. "Holy CRAP!" said he "There's another one!". I looked from his face, to the television screen. It took a few minutes to process what I was seeing..."What the...John..what....Oh MY GOD!" By then, John had gone silent, and I was beginning to realize what I had just seen. World Trade Center One had been hit, while I was in the kitchen with the Veterinarian. World Trade Center two had been hit, right before my eyes, on that television screen.

Both of us watched in abject horror, a feeling like things were moving in slow motion. Silence continued on the street below us, though usually by that time, cars would be heading to work, and buses would be heading to school. Instead, there was only silence. The silence for me was broken by a phone call from my friend. "Jean.." her voice wobbled "Are you watching the news?"
"Heather..oh my God. I Cant F***ing believe it! This can't be real.. what the heck! Did they get most of the people out?? Oh my god!". We talked for a while, both watching the news as we talked, and soon, John inserted "Oh my God. They're jumping from the buildings!" That is when both Heather, and I started to cry. I hung up the phone with her, and huddled against John on the couch, curling into a fetal position, tucked into his side. It felt as if we were both frozen there, as we watched both Towers, Fall. Eventually, John broke the moment, getting up , and getting dressed. He looked as if he was physically ill, and said. "I HAVE to go to work. I can't believe that I have to go. But I do. I can't believe i have to go out there, on a day like this". He zipped up his coveralls, and left. I don't think i've ever felt so lonely in my entire life. By then, details were beginning to file in, about the crashes in Pennsylvania, New York, and the Pentagon. I remember looking out my window, up at the sky. To see if I could see, or hear, anymore planes flying overhead. I couldn't. There was still just ...absolute silence. I got up, and went on the computer, emailed my parents, and my friends, went to mysticwicks, to see how everyone else was dealing with this, and then, eventually, went back to my spot on the couch, and lay there, watching the news, and weeping all day. John came home after about three hours at work. We embraced. I cried. I decided to go for a walk, for some fresh air. For some reason, I found myself drawn to the Catholic Church right down the road from me. It's huge red doors, and cool grey stone, seemed to me the perfect place to sit, and to think. Empty, Hollow, Cold. Kind of like my heart was feeling that day. I went in, and started down the Aisle. The priest greeted me, and I said.."Oh..I'm sorry Father, I just came in to sit, and think, and pray for a while. Is that ok?". "The Church is always open for prayer." He said in a very welcoming way. I sat down in the front view. Facing both the Crucifix, and the statue of Mary. My eyes were immediately drawn to the statue of Mary, and away from the statue of Jesus, who is portrayed in all his suffering. I'd seen enough suffering for that day. Now..I needed the mother. I needed Mary. I looked at the tender, and sad expression on her face. At her outstretched arms, and upturned palms. And I started to weep. "Embrace them, Mother. Comfort them. Comfort Us. Protect Us.". I spoke to the Goddess. The silence in that church, gave me a little balm for my soul......

To be continued.

Soon after, I watched

[SpikesPet5150]

That was beautiful. It reminded me of the absolute sense of loss I felt after seeing it. I, too, sat on the couch and wept, watching the news. I couldn't bring myself to do much else. I listened to the radio, watched the news, called my parents, and cried. That night, we had a candlelight vigil.

That morning, I'd never felt so disconnected from the world, never felt so alone. That night, I'd never felt more connected to thousands of other souls, complete strangers. I went from one extreme to the next. It'll always be a day I remember.

For those of you who know me outside of MW, you know I go to karaoke alot. I guess on Wednesday night, they're having a special 9-11 karaoke party, singing patriotic songs... or even just old songs with new meanings. I'm going to bring my camera, and hopefully I'll find someone to get video footage of it.
~Bree

[WandererInGray]

*soft sigh*

I had plans for 9/11....I was going to be in New York with two of my dearest friends in the whole world. Helping one start to heal the wounds of a year ago, and holding onto the other as she starts a new chapter in her life.
But the cancer that is killing my grandmother has no regard for well laid plans, and something in my heart told me I shouldn't leave Colorado. She still clings to life at the moment, but Goddess only knows for how long.
My love, Phoenix, is still in Alabama...a heartbreaking 1600 miles away from me. He will be at a memorial in the morning...and I will be driving to work at 7am.

***************

6:40am September 11, 2001
I had woken up a little later than usual, but I was in no rush to get moving. Phoenix called me on the phone and we chatted for a while...but I was having trouble getting a contact in and put the phone down. After finally getting it in, I picked it up again to get nothing but a dial tone. He had discovered that a mutual friend of ours who worked in his office had tried to commit suicide the night before, and rushed off to take him to the hospital. (a year later, I realize the reason I could not get a hold of him at home was because he was already at work.)

We'd had a football party the night before, so the house was still a little messy, but I plopped onto the couch and flipped on the TV. The local news was on, talking about what I don't know remember...but I expected to see the news about the Denver Broncos' Eddie McCaffrey breaking his leg in the game the night before.

That was the big news in my life at the moment...and I know I'm not alone in saying that I never thought it would suddenly be meaningless.

6:48am
The news flips to Katie Couric, and a shot of the burning North tower. My roommate Adam (a Marine) was getting ready for work, and stops to stare with me at the pictures.

7:02am
This is a moment that will be burned into my memory forever...I just have to close my eyes and I'm standing in front of the TV, with Adam to my left....I remember a woman on the phone with Katie and Matt, and then the screen bursts into flame as the second plane slams into the South tower.
I curse. Adam curses. And I walk across the room to pound on our other roommate Jeff's bedroom door, open it and tell him to get up. My brain is screaming that this is not happening...but Jeff tells me later that I was incredibly calm.

I am not thinking of anything I can remember as I sit on the couch, hands shaking and watching them replay the shot of Flight 175 slamming into the South tower over and over and over again.

I decide to go to work.

On the drive there, my mother calls me on my cell phone to tell me that my uncle, aunt and 9 year old cousin from NY are all right. In an odd twist of events, my uncle was able to get through to my mother...who almost never picks up the phone and certainly not at 7am in the morning.
I burst into tears...the first, and last time I will cry for almost two weeks.

8:12am
I am at work, and try to call Nallia in NY...obviously I can't get through, so I click on my ICQ, praying that she will be there. She is, and I spend the rest of the day alternately holding her and running back into our testing room to watch in horror the reports on TV. Her first message to me is about the South tower falling...and I rush to the TV.
I remember a woman at work saying "oh dear god all those people"...and I think I just stood there, unable to move.

9:00am
I finally hear from Phoenix, both he and his friend are okay...though with the threat of war imminent and them in the military, "okay" is a relative term.

The rest of the day is really just a blur. I remember being at work, but I couldn't tell you what I did. I don't remember going home. I know I sat in front of the TV with my roommates, but there's nothing specific I could tell you except numbers of dead and all the destruction.

********

I go through many emotions and thoughts over the next several weeks, finally manage to eat again on the 19th, and break down and cry at some point. I harass and push Nallia until she finally buys a one way ticket and moves to Colorado in December. I remember how to laugh again. I feel real rage and hatred and despair for those who planned this mass murder. I try, but I cannot see their point of view. Life moves on, but I still grieve when I see pictures.



Innocence

Has anyone seen my innocence?
I could swear I had it just the other day.
It was wrapped in shining dreams and soft, warm clothes.
Yesterday I saw the world through a child’s eyes
…everything blazing with possibilities and with hope.

Has anyone seen my innocence?
I thought I’d put it safe here on this self.
But it seems someone has stolen
That gaily wrapped package with its laughing ribbons.

It helped me see the world
In a way like no other
Filled with safety and light.

Has anyone seen my innocence?
You’d know it if you saw it.
You’d see the laughing children
And hear the songs they sing.

It told me my future was secure
And that everything would be okay
That hopes and dreams
Weren’t frivolous things
Which only madmen could burst.

Has anyone seen my innocence?
I’d like it back if you have
For my world is darker without it.
If you find it, please return it
So I can wrap it around my shattered heart.
And try to pretend like nothing has changed.

©K.B. Wagers 9/18/01

[Old Witch]

That's beautiful Wanderer..........

[Danustouch]

Continued from Part 1.

As I walked back from the Church, I had this song running through my head called "Be Ye Glad". It is a Christian Hymn.

"In these days of confused situations.
In these nights of a restless remorse.
When the heart and the soul of a nation.
Lay wounded and dead as a corpse."

(read the rest of the lyrics, here: http://www.noelpaulstookey.com/06-14.htm)

There is a part of the song, where it talks about being "lights on the rim of the water". In essence, saying that we should be healers in a time of trouble.

I started to wonder what I could do to help the situation in NYC. The next day, I started to make phonecalls, to plan a candlelight vigil for my town. (It was held on the 15th).

I remained glued to the television or radio every second I could, for the next few days. They all seem to blur together, in one haze of utter grief, and loss, and sorrow. I remember the doorstep vigils that were held. People gathering on their doorsteps, lighting candles, and leaving them burning through the night. One of those nights, when everyone was supposed to go outside, and light candles at 7 pm, John and I went outside, lit our candles, and watched. People sat on their doorsteps, talking in hushed tones, some silent, some weeping. The neighborhood children, were singing patriotic songs, caught up in the emotion of the adults around them. That is an image that will stay with me for years to come. Children, who normally run around in the streets screaming like maniacs, calling eachother names, were now sitting in their front yards, singing "God Bless America" and "America the Beautiful". John and I decided to drive around town for a while, to see how others were marking the event.

We were amazed to so many candles lit. So many flags lowered at half mass, so many people sitting on their steps, holding hands, reflecting. People had set up makeshift shrines in their front yards. Images of Mother Mary, surrounded by small American Flags, candles, and flowers. Pictures of the World Trade Centers. Banners which read "God Bless America" and "Proud to be an American" and "We will never forget". Some read "We're coming to get you Osama", and like messages. I couldn't stop the flood of emotions in myself that night. Watching as Cars drove by, flags streaming out behind them, a car full of teenagers driving by, with candles lit INSIDE their cars (dangerous, but so touching too). I cannot remember a time of so much emotion, in all of my life. Such unity. Such Love for this country, the community, the victims, their loved ones, it was so amazing. In a nation which is by nature, fairly Jaded, came together in that week, in a display of compassion, loyalty, love, and Unity that I had never witnessed before in all my life. That week, I felt as if this whole country were sacred ground. I didn't stop to think of the politics of that thought. I didn't stop to debate whether that was nationalism, ethnocentricism, all I thought about, was how I felt. That despite the horror, the absolute terror of September 11th, in the days immediately following, it just seemed as if every neighborhood in the USA, became Hollowed Ground. It wasn't the fact that we were Americans that made it so. It was the Fact that we were, for once, acting in a sacred manner. Loving eachother, supporting eachother, sharing our grief, being a community.

I spoke to friends about it. They wondered how long that sentiment would last. How long the citizens of this country would be united in our grief. How long we would "Play Nice". At the time, I thought it was a turning point. At the time, I believed that what we shared during that week, would last. That America would become a more loving place. Well...it didn't last. Not for too long after. But...that is typical for America, anyway. And I really wouldn't have it any other way. The RIGHT that we have to express our feelings. The RIGHT that we have to express dissent. The RIGHT that we have to show our feelings, our moods, our beliefs, is what makes America, AMERICA.

I didn't stop watching the news, almost around the clock, for a month or more afterwards. And still today, I flick on the news in the mornings (on the net) to check and make sure, that no other horrors have been visited upon this country. Part of me feels that it is "only a matter of time." . The other part of me wants to have faith in the Security of this nation. That the FBI, CIA, Homeland Security will all work harder this time, around, and prevent something like this from ever happening again. I feel like a child who fell, and cut her knee. I want to be that trusting child, who looks up at her parents, expecting them to kiss it, and make it better, and to never allow it to happen again.

The Catch Phrase around September 11th, was that it was "The Day that America lost its innocence". For me, it felt much more like a return to innocence. A return to the feeling that we ARENT in control of everything that happens to us. That we can't prevent every disaster. That we are NOT perfectly safe. The feeling that we are putting our lives in the hands of some greater force, either the security forces whom protect us, or our Deities, or both. In a way, it felt like my life, was taken out of my own hands on that day. Like it was quite a reminder, that every day that I live and breathe on this Earth, is a gift. It is also a contract between me and my makers. That I am given a short amount of time on this plane, and that at any point, the contract can be dissolved, and I can be called home. Innocence, to me, also implies a lack of responsibility. I didn't lose my innocense, I gained it. I was reminded, that my life is NOT in my own hands. That I can't always be "responsible" for what happens to me, or around me. Some things are just so far beyond my comprehension, and my control. I was returned to the state of a child, looking around in wonder, fearing the great unknown, but trying to have faith in my "parents" (deities), that they would protect me, protect us. But knowing full well, that ultimately, our fates, are in their hands.

[FelixFire]

I was sleeping so peacefully...

My husband came out of the shower, and woke me up. "We're under attack", he said, then went to turn on the TV. He'd been listening to the radio in the shower.

I put on my glasses and shuffled to the front room. I was just in time to see the second plane hit. I couldn't believe my eyes.

I looked at my husband in shock, then back to the TV. "Those are our own planes. Oh Goddess, they're using our own planes!" For some reason that made it all the worse to me. I imagined all those people, what they were seeing, what they were feeling...

My knees folded and I collapsed over the back of the couch, crying, and keeping my eyes glued to the screen. I tried to still myself, tried to send energy and protection to the other end of the country to the people I saw in the footage running, trying to escape. I prayed for them to get OUT, I *knew* at least one tower would fall...

My husband watched silently, gave me a clumsy hug, then went to finish getting ready for work. I just kept praying...I lit two candles, one for each tower, and watched them burn out as the towers collapsed, one after another.

For weeks, I had the same dream, of a woman caught in the blast. I was her, feeling so disconnected, so shocked, so numbed, unable to speak to the rescue workers trying to ask me questions even though she/I was physically okay... I don't know if she is a real person or if I just was dreaming, but it felt so real...I could taste ash and concrete and blood...

I collected newspapers for a week...some day I'm going to teach my baby nephew about 09/11/01.

I'm avoiding public memorials this year...it's too hard. I don't know anybody personally who died, but it doesn't matter. I weep, and pray, for all of us - Americans, Afghanis...all of us.

No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee. ~ John Donne, Meditation XVII

[Old Witch]

Just to let everyone know, my computer will be on all day tomorrow, if anyone needs to talk, vent, or just cry on a shoulder, I'll only be a post or PM away......I listen real well..........

[Danustouch]

Music is often the medium which heals. I wanted to share this song with those of you who are able to download MP3's. It's of of Noel Paul Stookey's website (of Peter, Paul, and Mary), it was written by Kitty Donohoe, about Sept 11th, and Noel Paul performs it so movingly.

Go to this website

http://www.noelpaulstookey.com/ and scroll down until you see MP3 Download "There Are No Words".