Family crisis

[Dalia]

Well, we have a problem at home and I just wanted to share it with you guys. I really need support!!!
Well, my parents have been married for 28 years. Well, last friday my mom, my sister and I followed my father and found him with another woman. He's been cheating on my mom for four months!!! My mom wants him to leave the house but he doesnt want to. My father si angry at my sis (she worked at my father's hardware store and now he doesnt want her to go there and she doesnt want to go either, she doesnt talk to him) because he thinks that she told my mom about it (my mom knew it since the first day and my sis got a privite detective for her).
Well, I tryed to talk to him, ask him why he did it (specially when my mom had a stroke 3 years ago and is not completely well yet!!!) and he told me that he is going to explain his reasons to me and my sis and that HE IS GOING TO GIVE US A LESSON!!!!! Furthermore, he told me that he havent done anything wrong!!!!!!
I am really worried for my mom, and I really think that my dad is not well (mentally). My mom talked to a lawyer and they agreed that he is going to visit a psycologist.
But, I am affraid that he will never accept that what he did is wrong and my mom will never forgive him for that. And my sis will never talk to him again. And I am even more worried for my mom's health!!!!!
Well, any advise you can give will be very welcome. And please pray for us!!!!!!

[Yvonne Belisle]

Since I don't know his reasons I can't give you any idvice on this. I will however light a candle for your family in this trying time.

[Semele]

I also have no advice to offer in this tough situation. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and send healing energy. Take care of yourself and be there for your Mom in her time of need. Let us know if we can help..we are always here to listen or talk if needed.

[Altheia]

a candle will be lit for you in my home asap...i know what you're going through.

[manstranger]

Well, whatever his reasons, i'm sure that he has some, and you'll be able to tell if he's mentally stable by them I guess.

However, from what you've said, he sounds very childish .. ie, getting mad at your sister because he thinks she told your mom about his cheating .. obviously he thinks that something is wrong with it, or maybe he thinks/knows that you would see it as something bad. I see it as something bad.

I'm sorry that you have to go through this, Dalia. Keep us updated.

((((((((((((((dalia)))))))))))))))))

[Faery-Wings]

(((Dalia)))

I am glad that your mom has a lawyer. My first suggestion was a lawyer, second, a counselor.

Does your mom want to stay with your dad? If hse does, I suggest some sort of family counseling. Obviously your father has cheated on your mom, but at the same time he has now broken trust with all of you. He also needs to resolve whatever caused him to do this if he wants to stya with your mom as well.

I will be lighting a candle for you. I am sorry that this is happening. :(


PM/email me if you ever need to talk.


Chris

[Twilight Garden]

I understand what you are going through. I'm sorry you have been caught in the middle of it. My dad cheated on my mom when I was 16 or17. They got divorced when I was 18.

I also understand what your parents are going through.

Those who have already posted have given good advice. The psychologist and attorney are good ideas. You may want to talk with a counselor about this yourself. The only advice I can give is to try to STAY OUT OF IT!

You have already been unnecessarily involved. That is unfortunate. You've got to try to back out and let them do what they want to do. If they try to bring you (or your sister) into this, they are wrong in doing so and you need to stand up to them. If they make a mistake, it is their mistake to make.

You probably have tons of questions that I doubt your parents even know how to answer at this point. Try to reserve your questions and judgements until after they have resolved their issues or at least come up with a plan of action (divorce, work it out, trial separation...) as to what they will do. Give it time.

This is their problem. Your father didn't cheat on you, although it probably feels that way. You've got to avoid looking at it that way. You've probably lost a bit of respect for him, but we all make mistakes. Some much bigger than others. HE may not even understand why he did it. He may not ever accept that what he did is wrong, but at least you know better.

My thoughts are with you. May the Gods give you comfort in their embrace.

[Xander67]

(((((((SIS))))))))

If you need anyone to talk to , IM here for you!!!

[Dalia]

Thanks for your adviceand support my friends. Well, right now I dont feel like talking to my dad. I am trying to stay out of it as much as I can. Right now, what bothers me the most is when my mom starts saying things to my dad when he tries to talk to her
:( But I guess that with time things will get better. My dad says that he loves my mom and he will never change her for anybody but my mom is very hurt, she even told him that she doesnt love him anymore. I just hope she calms down. I hate when my parents fight, I really do!!!

[manstranger]

Sorry. In time, everything will play out. I doubt your mom will stay angry forever ... and i think that your dad will probably get whatever he needs.

I'll include you in my prayers :).

[Witchy Cowgirl]

I can't find the words to explain my feelings and I can't say I know what your going through cause I have no idea. I can say that I will light a candle for you and keep you and your family in my prayers.

[Dalia]

Thank you :smooch:
Only thing that is bothering me right now si that my father insists that he havent done anything wrong :mad:

[Faery-Wings]

'scuse me?:huh:

Why does he think he hasn't done anything wrong?

Has he gotten any counseling yet? If not I truly hope he and your mom can do that together. It sounds as if there is some passive aggression going on.

Are you still is school? Is there someone you would feel comfortable talking to there? I would imagine your house is a bit tense at this time. If not, you know we are always here for you.

((((HUG)))

[materra]

LunarMist gave you some excellent advice...I am sorry this is happening in your lives. I will add your family to my prayers. BB

[Dalia]

Well, I dont know why does he think that he hasnt done anything wrong, he havent talked to me and my sis, havent told us he´s reasons.
And, yes, the atmosphere at my house is quite tense when my dad is here. My mom is always saying things to my dad, to bother him. I just tend to turn on the radio to avoid hearing them cause I get quite tense :(