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Xander67
August 29th, 2002, 12:16 PM
In NJ , there have been a rash of Child Abductions recently...

where I work, we have had to call the Children services to come pick up a few children this week because they were left unattended while their parents were in the casino... there is a city ordinance that children under 12 are not to be left unattended at any time... and we had one case where the child was missing and they still havent found her...

Parents please be carefull with your children, do not let them out of your sight when out in public even for a moment... it only takes a moment for someone to steal your child....

this is severe enough in NJ that the Emergency management has created what is known as an "Amber Alert" when a child abduction occurs and is reported, it will be broadcast via the emergency alert system, and details will be given, as much as possible, last seen, wearing, name , age, photo (if available) and instructions for who to contact if you have any information...

the DGE, (Dept of Gaming enforcement) where I work, has already began distributing flyers.... and still, some parents leave thier kids unattended and then get mad when we follow what we were told to do....

Please be carefulll of who you leave your children with also!
Thanks

Ravens_Tears
August 29th, 2002, 12:26 PM
One of my worst fears... as my ex has threatened and attempted to abduct my youngest before... we also just had an 11 year old boy raped and murdered in wpg this week..... and a baby shaken to death :( it's insane. We have to be vigilant. I will have to light a few more candles and say a few more prayers...

MidnightSun
August 31st, 2002, 04:41 AM
It is insane...that i'll agree with. Way too many kids being kidnapped and killed and loads of other things :/

Here where I live..it's not abductions we have a problem with. It's kids being murdered. 11 so far this year :/ Just the other day an 11 year old was shot in the neck in a drive by shooting....was just sitting on his front porch :/

Margie
August 31st, 2002, 02:12 PM
Forget not letting them out of your SIGHT, don't let them out of your hand! Keep a good tight grip on them AT ALL TIMES-even if they are over 12.

Faery-Wings
September 1st, 2002, 08:43 AM
This freaks me out too. My kids think it is fun to hide in the racks when we go clothes shopping. I used to tell them that somebody could snatch them, if they hid fromme. Now I tiell them straight out, people can be bad, they could take you and kill you. You would never see me again and I wouldn't know where to find you. Sure it was a scary thing for them to hear, and really scary for mt to say it. But they need to know the brutal truth. Since I told them that, so plainly, I have absolutely no problems with them staying at my side.

I think the Amber Alert is a great idea too.

Flaire-FireStar
September 1st, 2002, 05:41 PM
I think it's an excellent idea as well, what with the rash of child abductions everywhere these days, it's a good idea for parents to be on their highest alert when away from home - even at home!

Chryssi- I used to do that to my mom too, and she pretty much told me the same thing. I know how scary it is, but, fortunately, it works (well, for me and my bro anyway) :)

reanna
September 6th, 2002, 03:00 AM
This is so close to home for me....I really need to step up and share a few things that I have learned....as well as a bit of heartbreaking experience with you guys. Some of you I know, and some are new to me as I do not get to the boards near as much as I would like to anymore. So...greetings to new faces and fond hellos to old!
One of the things that I have literally had rammed down my throat to the point of gagging in the last almost 2 years.....
Pedophiles are more likely to strike when there are no parents or other people around. You have more chance of someone trying to "lure" your child into a bad situation when they are playing quietly by themselves or with friends that someone grabbing them in a shopping mall while your back is turned. Now...that doesn't mean that either situation is more "safe" just more likely.
From a pathological standpoint....pedophiles do not like to take the risk of getting caught. In their minds....they need to some extent: an open invitation.
Example: 2 ten year old girls are walking home from school together and a predator sits quietly watching them.....he is thinking " it is too risky" Later down the road however:the two girls seperate, one enters the driveway to go home the other continues walking. Now, Mr.Predator.....thinks: she has asked for it...she left her friend.....she wants me.(sick as it may sound...it is true) They need to validate their "problem" it is never them that commits this heinous act....it is their problem.
Speaking from experience.......
It saddens me that we live in a world that allows such types of people to roam free and prey upon our future, our children. I know that there are many different viewpoints on these types of people...ranging from: they should all be hung or dead to people who truly think that pedophiles can be rehabilitated. I am not here to start a big debate over which viewpoint is better than the other.... I feel that everyone is allowed to have and enjoy their own feelings, opinions and to exercise those without repurcussion. However...I will tell ya that once someone you hold dear is murdered by a pedophile...you never truly recover. October 1st of 2000, someone I held very dear was abducted and murdered by a pedophile. He has just been sentenced to life in prison. Which in Canada...is 25 years. Now we have to wait to see whether the appeal board will grant an appeal.
Had someone told me prior to her disappearance that my life was going to end up the way it is now....I would have laughed my butt off. My life will never be the same. This was my best friends daughter...who I have always considered my niece. I have watched while everyone I love gets ripped apart physically,mentally and emotionally(including myself) We have been through a 3 week search process...the announcment that her body had been found....a funeral....and then the arrest of the suspect. Prelim hearings followed later....then the voidire....the the trial. You would think that 2 years of agony would be enough...no....now we must wait to see if he will be granted an appeal. If that should happen....we start this whole ugly process all over again. Then we can look forward to a future possibly filled with ominous parole hearing dates etc....
So...back to my point(sorry about the babble) Is that the best defense we have to protecting our children against predators and pedophiles....is to educate them. They need to know more than "there are sick people out there who want to hurt you"
To a child.....the word "sick" means someone with a cold. A predator most likely will not fit that description to them if they should come across one. Even with my kids surviving through the murder of their cousin.....I asked my daughter a few weeks ago if a man came up to her on the playground at school and asked her to go and look for a puppy that was lost...what would she do?
Her reaction.....but what about the puppy mom?? It is alone...with no mommy....scared...lost....IF I was lost mom..wouldn't you want someone to come and look for me?? My heart breaks....I really hate to rip apart her youthful childhood innocence....but THIS reaction is exactly what predators prey upon. This is how they validate themselves.....by going with him....My daughter would have consented to whatever activity he had in mind. Unbeknowst to my daughter though! He would not likely tell her ahead of time what his intentions were! So~~sadly...with tears threatening to burst....I had to reflect upon how she would need to think to safe guard herself. She is slowly getting more aware....listening to her intuition....but sometimes..it is not always enough.
My beautiful niece...was very well schooled in not talking to strangers....(in a child's mind...someone they have seen more than once...is no longer a stranger) knew all about how to try and protect herself....physically and mentally. It was too late by the time her intuition kicked in. She did fight, she kicked, she screamed.....and~~that is exactly why the man who lured her in..killed her. Once finding this information out....I really needed to research...the why's and hows. Hence the information I have collected that I am sharing with you. I also read a book which had a very good chapter on these types of situations.
The book is called "Protecting the Gift" by Gavin Debecker. I got some very useful information out of it. Take a look for it at a library or book store. It is definitely worth having in your resource library at home. There is a lot of information that can be found(after some digging) online in how to teach your children to stay out of potentially harmful situations. If you run a search....be very specific about what type of information you are looking for though(found that out the hard way) you will pull up all sorts of wacky stuff.....some made by pedophiles themselves...(sick..but true) and some other porn type related stuff. I had a fair amount bookmarked...but my computer crashed and I lost all the links. If I can get a chance...over the weekend...I will try and hunt them down and post them.
I am truly sorry if I went too far with this post...I know it is tough and wow!it got long.....but...I really don't want to see anyone go through this type of pain ever......I figure,if we can ban together to teach and protect our own....the future will be safer for them. We know that pedophiles will always unfortunately live among us....so we need to protect our children from them! I really wish it could be done differently....but...I also need to be realistic. Especially, when it seems that the murder rate is on a huge uprise. It is happening way too frequently. I have always be very careful with my kids....I really thought it would never affect me. In the end....it wasn't one of my kids...but it was close enough for me. I will never have the same life again. I look at thw whole world differently, every single relationship I have ever had with anyone.....has changed forever...you can never go back. Some change has been for the better....some not. Much adapting has been required.....which I had never really wanted to do either.
Okay..I should probably stop now....I have got tears streaming down my face....Like I said...I really hope that I didn't go too far with this post...but I felt so compelled to post a reply out of sheer love for you guys and your kids. They are our most precious gift....


Huge hugs.....
reanna

Faery-Wings
September 6th, 2002, 07:13 AM
((((((((Reanna)))))))))) I've missed you!

Thank you so much for posting that. Yes, that was incredibly hard to read. I have tears in my eyes and a shaky heart. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to write that, let alone live it. But as corny and cliche it might sound, if it helps to open up one parent's eyes, it made a difference.

I wish there was something I could say to make it all better. But there isn't so just know I am sending you some positive thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

Blessings, Chris

Margie
September 6th, 2002, 12:29 PM
Wow Reanna, thanks for the eye opening stand point. That really was a heartbreaking reality check. I'm sorry for what you've had to go through and maybe it's not much consolation but I'm sure what you've had to say has helped someone NOT be in the same situation some day. Thank you!

Yvonne Belisle
September 6th, 2002, 01:08 PM
By sharing what you have you help make it so some good can come from such a horrid tragedy. Nothing can ease the pain of murder ever but perhaps this post of yours will help bring peoples awareness up and prevent someone else from going threw that pain.

reanna
September 6th, 2002, 10:01 PM
Thanks guys! I have missed you too! I really appreciate the kind thoughts and prayers....they go a long way....and they mean so terribly much to those who need them. Including me! Actually, it was about this time last year that I sort of made my retreat from these boards. We were approaching the very first anniversary of her her murder and I will tell ya......It was hell! So...I kind of did the withdraw thing to get my head together....amazing what kind of things your mind will do to you when you put things off for too long. As we approach the 2 year anniversary....it is still not so good, but I have come a very long way in the last year. I have found some peace which has been very beneficial to my health, well being and to my own darling children. Work is better, sleep is better, all around....learning to live the "new" way is coming together slowly. I have actually been approached to teach a pagan parenting class of all things....Still thinking about this one! I am not teaching full time for a living anymore...I got a promotion over the summer and I am now the official office manager of where I work. I have taught all osrts of things through the years...from gymnastics and trampoline(my specialty) to scrapbooking classes and a few other things. This pagan parenting class idea may be a good way to try and build a bigger like minded network circle of friends for my own children...so I am seriously giving it thought.......BUT~~~I really don't know if I would do that well with it...ya know. lol What I choose to teach and talk about with my own kids..may be very different from someone else's viewpoint. I'll figure something out!
I also begin a course on Tuesday night which will give me a basic course in Grief Counselling. I have attended a hospice support group since last fall(so did my kids) which I could never put into words the amount of benefit we have all received....it is so incredible! I have such a strong background in teaching and working with young children....that I really would like to be able to start volunteering in the children's program. I can't wait until it starts. It has been a long while since I have done any sort of schooling....but I am so looking forward to it!
Well.......now I have been babbling again. I am good at that!!
So..I will venture off and read the posts.
Had a thought though.....
Seeing as how we all have one goal in mind......Protecting our children....maybe we could have a thread that brainstorms about ways to educate our children in a developmentally appropriate way. Try to expand on some of the points that have already been mentioned,,,,like the way a child will perceive a statement that we say....rather than how we want then to understand it. I think if we put our heads together and all of our varied experiences and locales.....we could probably come up with one heck of a good resource for all parents!! Let me know what ya think.
Well.......I now have a bumble bee buzzing around me at the desk.....(my sweet daughter in one of her sets of wings..)I guess she is telling me that it is time to pay some more attention to her! Oh....like I mind that one iota!! Glad to be there!

Huge hugs......
thanks again!!
reanna

Faery-Wings
September 9th, 2002, 07:23 AM
Reanna, wow, I wish you lived in NJ. I bet we would end up being great friends. We have all the same interests, kids, teaching, scrapbooking, and I love the idea of teaching a Pagan Parenting class. :) I hopw that you do end up teaching it. I bet you would be amazing. But I can see why it could be hard planning some sort of curriculum. You either have to focus on what *you* do, or make it so all-encompassing you be there forever. *giggle* Let us know what you decide!


Seeing as how we all have one goal in mind......Protecting our children....maybe we could have a thread that brainstorms about ways to educate our children in a developmentally appropriate way. Try to expand on some of the points that have already been mentioned,,,,like the way a child will perceive a statement that we say....rather than how we want then to understand it. I think if we put our heads together and all of our varied experiences and locales.....we could probably come up with one heck of a good resource for all parents!! Let me know what ya think.

This is a wonderful idea. Maybe between me, you, Eve, and we could see if Freyja could help us out, we could get a good informative thread going here on this topic. Say the word, and I will do whatever I can to get it started. I appreciate you helping us with this. :)

You bumble bee sounds adorable too!

BB

Chris