A dream that has me upset...

[SilverClaw]

All after noon I have not been feeling well so I took a nap, during this nap I had a very vivid dream it started out that I was very happy, and with someone that was at least in my dream very caring person who was someone I had some type of relationship with. Sandy blond hair and a nice smile.

In any case through out the dream we were in various parts of the house and it seemed we lived in a very forested area and it was sunny out. Then we were in the living room and from there I am not sure what room we were in and things between us started to get intimate and we were facing each other as we stood upward. He had a sheet or something wrapped around him, I noticed he was in good shape seemed young, and built. When I looked at him we exchanged smiles and things went from there.

When I looked back at him his face had changed and yet I was still drawn to him and we continued to kiss. Once I realized who he was changing into I screamed and yelled "let me go!" and I started to struggle and he kept pulling me towards him. His face kept changing back and forth from the person I was with to my dads and it had me really freaked out. I tried focusing on the person I was with first , his face but it was gone and I could not even recall what it was like at the beginning of the dream anymore either, that is when I woke up.

And I felt more drained and sick to my stomach then when I did before my nap. My thoughts were of disgust and well embarrassment . All evening I think it has been eating away at me in the back of my mind. And about an hour ago it hit me again and now I feel nauseous and have been crying about it.

This is not the first time I have had dreams where it concerns people morphing into other people ( there was one in the 90's I had that had a very similar response from me) or where it concerns my dad but I guess there are some past abuses that I need to reevaluate.

Maybe I have been watching to many Star Trek Generation re-runs especially the ones with dreams in it , but as the episode two nights ago mentioned that sometimes when a person is in your dream it represents a certain aspect of yourself.... And in this case that just woke me up as it were and scares the hell out of me. It does make sense in my case and this dream and similar ones to it. I am scared of not being able to defend myself. And I think that is where I will leave it since this is a pg 13 forum.

In any case indefinitely think it is time to go see a counselor and for me to say that is a bit of a surprise.

[WolfWhoSings]

Well, aside from the past abuses and issues with your Dad that you mentioned, what occurred to me first was to ask whether or not you have had trouble with people not being who they represented themselves as when you met them.

Have you misjudged or been misled by people, especially the men in your life? Is is possible that's a pattern that was something you picked up from your father?

If your father was the first to betray your trust, then it could be that you're "seeing" him in other men, or at least in any guy that's similarly broken your trust. It's also really had to "defend" yourself from people who actively seek to decieve (believe me, I know). It leaves you feeling vunerable in the worst way.

[HetHert]

Dreams occuring the house usually signify a dream about the self. That the intimate parts took place in the livingroom signifies to me that you are working out an issue with family dynamics. The living room is usually where family gathers to watch TV or spend time together. The act of becoming intimate may not necessarily have anything to do with sex and may just be signifying your ability to allow men to get close.

I think the dream your having about a young suitor morphing into your father is your emotional mind attempting to work out intimacy issues. Father's aspect to daughters are often ones of role models and usually when we start picking out beaus or male friends its related to how we feel about our dads. Either what we appreciate or what we don't. Can be a creepy revelation but it is not uncommon.

At first you're willing to work with the change of the man before you. This tells me that you want the intimacy. You want the closeness. Its when you realize that it's your father that you are repulsed.

Another spin on this dream may mean that you are finally ready to work toward healing your relationship with your father but you are scared.

If you've recently brought a new male into your life it could be that you recognize something in them that reminds you of something our your father and you are trying to figure it out. Sometimes we bring people into ourlives so we may heal and overcome past psychological issues so its not a far stretch for this dream to have occured because of the strain of the abuse your father dealt.

And seeing a counselor would be of great service to yourself. Good Luck! :)

[SilverClaw]

WolfWhoSings, where to begin? You do make some points that do hit home and are similar to what I realized when I was almost finished typing my original post.


first was to ask whether or not you have had trouble with people not being who they represented themselves as when you met them I have had alot of people in my past not being who they representated themselves as. My dad, step mom, younger siblings, certain exes and so on. But in this case with this dream I have two people it points to, my dad and one of my ex's who both have sexually abused people and in the case of my ex has done worse.


Have you misjudged or been misled by people, especially the men in your life? Men and women I have been misled and have misjudged,




If your father was the first to betray your trust, then it could be that you're "seeing" him in other men, or at least in any guy that's similarly broken your trust. It's also really had to "defend" yourself from people who actively seek to decieve (believe me, I know). It leaves you feeling vunerable in the worst way. My dad was not the first to betray me there was other abuses that happened prior to him taking me into his care, however when it came to sexual abuse yes that was a first. As for my ex well that is another story all together.



One thing that pisses me off about dreams with my dad is sometimes it means he is going to be in town and I hate the feeling I get from that.

[WolfWhoSings]

Okay, first I have to echo HetHert, counseling would be a very good idea. You may have had it before for these issues, but you're obviously not done with them. A good professional counselor will be able to guide you. (I don't know how it works in Canada, but in the US there are a number of places that offer sliding scale payments, if need be.)

Secondly, there's the knotty problem of why you are either attracting this sort of person or why you are consistently leaving yourself open. Closing down completely isn't a healthy answer, but employing some method of protection is wise. I don't know your path, but I have no doubt that there are meditations and rites you can call on to make yourself less vunerable, without going all "turtle."

Knowing this is the issue is a big first step. From the past, you can learn why it has happened and then hone your instincts to spot those patterns before you let yourself get drawn in. The big trick is not to let fear rule your life and thinking. You are in control. You can decide who you let in, in an emotional and spiritual sense.

(In a physical sense, if you are concerned about that, which you may well be, self-defence courses are useful for not only learning how to get out of trouble, but increasing your confidence.)

I hope you find a wise and compassionate counselor who can guide you.

[SilverClaw]

Dreams occuring the house usually signify a dream about the self. That the intimate parts took place in the livingroom signifies to me that you are working out an issue with family dynamics. The living room is usually where family gathers to watch TV or spend time together. The act of becoming intimate may not necessarily have anything to do with sex and may just be signifying your ability to allow men to get close. The Living room is where things started but as I stated but it was not the same room when things started to get intimate. Things were different.


I think the dream your having about a young suitor morphing into your father is your emotional mind attempting to work out intimacy issues. Father's aspect to daughters are often ones of role models and usually when we start picking out beaus or male friends its related to how we feel about our dads. Either what we appreciate or what we don't. Can be a creepy revelation but it is not uncommon. well my companion or who ever he was in my dream was young or well aged or whatever body wise but not in the face that is one of the things in this dream that make me go hmmm. And as for the rest of you comment here I have to give some thought to this, I have heard about this part >> we start picking out beaus or male friends its related to how we feel about our dads. I am not sure how that would relate to now. About 15 years or more ago yes I could see that being possible but not now.



Another spin on this dream may mean that you are finally ready to work toward healing your relationship with your father but you are scared.ah no scared has nothing to do with it, anger and extreme disappointment is what I feel towards him or at least I did. Back when he I first reported him and he went to jail I accepted he was sorry but back in 1996 when I felt I was ready to confront him (cause according to all the books on healing and what little counsolling I had at the time I was ready and I felt ready.) I did ask him why he did abuse me sexually and all his response was he wanted to get away from his wife .... and the coldness I felt from that threw any forgiveness I had at that point out the window. And when I look back at the relationships he had before I should have realized he was sick long before he even did anything to me. So ya no way of healing the relationship with him.



If you've recently brought a new male into your life it could be that you recognize something in them that reminds you of something our your father and you are trying to figure it out. Sometimes we bring people into ourlives so we may heal and overcome past psychological issues so its not a far stretch for this dream to have occured because of the strain of the abuse your father dealt.

And seeing a counselor would be of great service to yourself. Good Luck! :) the thing is that I have not brought any new person male or otherwise into my life .... And thanks you for the good luck

[SilverClaw]

Okay, first I have to echo HetHert, counseling would be a very good idea. You may have had it before for these issues, but you're obviously not done with them. A good professional counselor will be able to guide you. (I don't know how it works in Canada, but in the US there are a number of places that offer sliding scale payments, if need be.) Yep am phoning right after I am done with this post.

And as for the rest of your post I will comment more about it later
and I thank you both for your time with this. I felt very self conscious about even putting this out on the forum, like I am putting myself up to be dissected.
But I am glad I did now because of your posts I have different ways to look at this and hopefully deal with it.

[SilverClaw]

Just so you know I have an appointment for next Tuesday.

[Brightshores]

Just wanted to offer :hugz:

[SilverClaw]

Just wanted to offer :hugz: Thanks :) Feeling much more calm since I made the last post .

[WolfWhoSings]

Good. I'm glad to hear you made it.

Feels good to do something, doesn't it?

Asking for help like that was brave, it's not easy for some of us to do under the best of circumstances.

[SilverClaw]

Yep it does feel good and since the original post my dreams are back to just being weird :lol:

[Gypsyballad]

First of all I'd like to say that I think you are a very brave person to have spoken out about the abuse you've suffered from your father. That is not an easy thing to do. It would've been much easier to have kept silent about it. So I praise you for your courage.

I would also like to say that I agree with Hethert and Wolfwhosings suggestions. It is a good idea to go and see a counselor. My only one suggestion would be if you would consider seeing a Reiki practitioner. Perhaps a practitioner, along with a counselor, could help you heal emotionally, as well.

:hugz:

[SilverClaw]

First of all I'd like to say that I think you are a very brave person to have spoken out about the abuse you've suffered from your father. That is not an easy thing to do. It would've been much easier to have kept silent about it. So I praise you for your courage.

I would also like to say that I agree with Hethert and Wolfwhosings suggestions. It is a good idea to go and see a counselor. My only one suggestion would be if you would consider seeing a Reiki practitioner. Perhaps a practitioner, along with a counselor, could help you heal emotionally, as well.

:hugz:
Thanks I almost deleted the post cause I was scared of what people would think but I did not. As for the Reiki I do not know anyone in the city I live in that does that, at least that I would feel comfortable with... And the only reason I am able to see a counsollor is because it is a free service otherwise I would be out of luck for that to.

[Gypsyballad]

Thanks I almost deleted the post cause I was scared of what people would think but I did not. As for the Reiki I do not know anyone in the city I live in that does that, at least that I would feel comfortable with... And the only reason I am able to see a counsollor is because it is a free service otherwise I would be out of luck for that to.

I am very sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my post. I think I may have misinterpreted your thread, and I do apologize for that. It was not my intention to mislead anyone.

I am also sorry to hear that you don't know of any Reiki practitioner in your city. I thought, perhaps, that the combination of both types of therapies could be very helpful. But it is good news that you are able to see a counselor. I know that this will be of great help to you.

:hugz:, and best wishes to you.

[SilverClaw]

I am very sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my post. I think I may have misinterpreted your thread, and I do apologize for that. It was not my intention to mislead anyone.

I am also sorry to hear that you don't know of any Reiki practitioner in your city. I thought, perhaps, that the combination of both types of therapies could be very helpful. But it is good news that you are able to see a counselor. I know that this will be of great help to you.

:hugz:, and best wishes to you. NO you did not make me uncomfortable. You commented in your previous post about how brave I was to post something like this, and all I was saying is originally I did not feel so brave and almost deleted the post, just after i made this thread. IN no way was I refering to your post that made me want to delete it... Hope that made sense :)

And as for Counseling and Reiki yes I believe it would be beneficial for me , ifI am meant to have it I am sure someone will make them self known to me though.