Help - is as diagnosis really needed?

[Revilo]

My son is 9, he's always been 'different' except only recently is it becoming a real problem for him.

A few years back I guess i realised there was a real possibility of aspergers syndrome and chose to ignore it.

Recently he was in a lot of issues at school with his social conduct and i went into school to discuss it, the teachers basically confirmed everything i thought only i had noticed and then when i spoke to my parents they also said 'oh yeah we just didnt want to say anything'

so he gets referred to a educational psychologist who mentioned the as and told me to be aware this could lead to a diagnosis if i chose that route. I now have the reviews and everybody involved has commented on the key points which again all point to aspergers syndrome.

The question im asking myself now is do i really need him diagnosed, what will we benefit from having him labelled and what will we lose from not having that label??

Any advice???

[Athena-Nadine]

I know someone else here will be able to give you a better answer than I can. I think that if he is actually diagnosed the school is required to take that into consideration and do what they can to accommodate him and teach him with that in mind. They are also not allowed to discriminate against him and are required to take his diagnosis into consideration if/when discipline issues come up. If he is not diagnosed the school has no such obligation and he could end up being labeled a problem student and not get the help he needs to progress properly.

[Tanya]

my father is a school psychologist.

It is only when a kid is diagnosed in many states that state monies are mobilized to HELP them.

get him seen and proffesionally diagnosed to get access to all the help that is available that can help him feel good about himself and learn to manage his issues.

being dyslexic myself.. it was a HUGE thing to know for a FACT that I wasn't stupid....I just had this 'issue' and it made it much easier to put it into a small box and deal with it, instead of it running my life and my expectations FOR my life.

when you know what's up.. you can begin to cope and deal with the problem.

[Revilo]

yes I keep thinking about this valid point and then forgetting it - I guess my BIG concern is he's at an age where a label could throw him off course completely. Grr.

[Tanya]

its funny because being labeled 'diabetic' doesn't have the same connotation does it?

and yet if you were diabetic you would KNOW you need to be diagnosesd and treated to do well.

If I were you I would focus very little on the diagnosis to him... and certainly don't let him make it an excuse for not being responsible for his behavior...

but just like if he had a speach or hearing program... you would probalby 'no big deal' it to him, (as in "this is no big deal kid, just a little quirky thing about you we need to look after,just like Aunt Nell needs to look after how much sugar she eats") but still get him in special classes to work out the issue.

[Sequoia]

I have a separate (but similarly disabling) mental health issue that I've had since I was a kid, and I WISH that my mother had taken the care to get it diagnosed. The schools brought it up, family brought it up, and she ignored it. I never graduated high school. I ended up missing so much that it just didn't happen. I had to take a test (kind of like a GED, but not) to continue to college... which I also dropped out of. I got into bad relationships and hung out with unwise groups. I made very poor decisions.

It's only been since I was an adult that I've been formally diagnosed, and proper treatment has CHANGED MY LIFE.

I know people are afraid of "labels"... but please. Get your son the attention that he needs. He will succeed because of it. Without the attention and therapies that could benefit him, he will not do as well. He may be labeled a "problem". He won't have the same chances to succeed.

Only you know what's best for him. But please, seriously consider getting him help. You will most likely regret not doing so later on.

[WitchOfEndor]

My daughter is Aspergers, get your son tested as soon as you can! You will get so much more help with the diagnosis than without it. It's hard, that's for sure but better to start getting the proper help now rather than later. Don't want to scare you but when they get to around 11-15 years old, it get really rough because of how social that age is. He will be so much better for the help now so you'll be able to hopefully avoid alot of the stress & strain. If you need to talk, I'm happy to lend an ear. :)