Laoghaire
July 27th, 2008, 07:02 AM
Our holiday in Germany should have been a wonderful time. And, in the end, it wasn't too bad. Apart from the fact that I had the most frightening moment of my entire life. I really have troubles trying to deal with it all... And I just want to tell it.
I nearly lost my mother...
Friday, 25 July.
The last morning we make breakfast for the dance troop. They leave in the afternoon and our little family is excited, because this five days have been hell. Serious money issues, or better, theft and frictions. We want to spend our last days on the farm in peace and silence.
After the departure, we split up. I fall asleep on my bed, the rest of the family goes sunbathing in the garden. When everyone gets back inside, we decide to go out to dinner. Brother and girlfriend left for Aalen in the mean time, for a swim.
We meet again in Rosengarten, and eat out dinner outside. Mum and sis choose the same dish. Glass of wine, some schnaps and lots of laughter. All goes well...
Middle of the night...
In the barn next to us (shared wall), 70 children are asleep in the straw. There is still a lot of movement and noise, but everyone in the house can sleep.
I wake up when I hear some noise. As if somebody fell over a chair in the living room. For a minute or so, I wonder if the noise came from the barn, or inside the house. Ah well, because I have to pee, I can better get out an check it while I'm there. I find my mother sitting on the bathroom floor, head on her knees. She says she doesn't feel right. I run for my dad, who, suprisingly, is quite awake too. We run for my mum, who feels very sweaty and clammy. She really has to pee, so we help her on the toilet...
She faints again. I held her head... When I held her, trying to keep her steady, she started wheezing. We tried to manoeuvre her on the floor, in a tiny little bathroom. She still struggled with her breath, her eyes rolling around. When I carefully put her head down, she stopped breathing...
The thoughts that fly through your head... Stupid things, but pure desparation too. I called for her, only twice, because I was too scared that she would never respond. My dad was next to me and the tears and the panic in his voice still bring tears to my eyes. How we sat there, in a sauna like bathroom, bent over her, trying to make her breath again. I was ready to jump for my phone and call the emergency number, when dad moved her head quickly and pushed on her chest... With some shakes, she started breathing again. I was so afraid at the time that these were convulsions.
All together, it happened really really fast, everything. From the moment she fainted till the moment she started breathing again. But it felt like eternity. I sat there next to her, when she was awake again, dabbing her face with a cold flanel, trying to keep my calm. Trying to keep her talking, to avoid she would fall out again. Dad and I tried to convince my mum to call a doctor. We did not have a clue how, but we wanted to do everything. How could we tell mum how serious it had been? Could we tell her that she actually stopped breathing?
After a visit to the toilet, mum felt well enough and we brought her to bed, with some ice packs. When she talked, she seemed far away from us.
And so, dad sent me to bed. It was around 4am at the time. I didn't fall asleep until 6, desparetly trying to hear her breathing, which was impossible with the wall between the bedrooms, and trying to keep all those doom thoughts out of my head. At 6, the children in the barn woke up again...
To this day, we still haven't got an idea what happened. Overtiredness, because if the camp? Sunstroke? The dinner? Dinner we could rule out, because sis did not experience any problems at all. When we talk about it now to my mother, she does not remember half of what dad and I said that night. She does know that she stopped breathing indeed and that we will visit the doctor tomorrow.
To this day, I still haven't cried. The tears are there, I just cannot cry them. I keep checking on her, trying to make her rest. I'm worried, because my bedroom at home is far away from our bathroom. What if it happens again and I don't hear it? Heck, what would have happened if I did not find her that night?
I feel utterly relieved that I still have my mum with me... Goddess, the pain that I felt when I saw her on the floor. I just kept thinking about my sis, what would happen to her if she lost mum.
The anxiety simply doesn't go away...
Stormbeard, thanks for caring and being there when I needed it...
I nearly lost my mother...
Friday, 25 July.
The last morning we make breakfast for the dance troop. They leave in the afternoon and our little family is excited, because this five days have been hell. Serious money issues, or better, theft and frictions. We want to spend our last days on the farm in peace and silence.
After the departure, we split up. I fall asleep on my bed, the rest of the family goes sunbathing in the garden. When everyone gets back inside, we decide to go out to dinner. Brother and girlfriend left for Aalen in the mean time, for a swim.
We meet again in Rosengarten, and eat out dinner outside. Mum and sis choose the same dish. Glass of wine, some schnaps and lots of laughter. All goes well...
Middle of the night...
In the barn next to us (shared wall), 70 children are asleep in the straw. There is still a lot of movement and noise, but everyone in the house can sleep.
I wake up when I hear some noise. As if somebody fell over a chair in the living room. For a minute or so, I wonder if the noise came from the barn, or inside the house. Ah well, because I have to pee, I can better get out an check it while I'm there. I find my mother sitting on the bathroom floor, head on her knees. She says she doesn't feel right. I run for my dad, who, suprisingly, is quite awake too. We run for my mum, who feels very sweaty and clammy. She really has to pee, so we help her on the toilet...
She faints again. I held her head... When I held her, trying to keep her steady, she started wheezing. We tried to manoeuvre her on the floor, in a tiny little bathroom. She still struggled with her breath, her eyes rolling around. When I carefully put her head down, she stopped breathing...
The thoughts that fly through your head... Stupid things, but pure desparation too. I called for her, only twice, because I was too scared that she would never respond. My dad was next to me and the tears and the panic in his voice still bring tears to my eyes. How we sat there, in a sauna like bathroom, bent over her, trying to make her breath again. I was ready to jump for my phone and call the emergency number, when dad moved her head quickly and pushed on her chest... With some shakes, she started breathing again. I was so afraid at the time that these were convulsions.
All together, it happened really really fast, everything. From the moment she fainted till the moment she started breathing again. But it felt like eternity. I sat there next to her, when she was awake again, dabbing her face with a cold flanel, trying to keep my calm. Trying to keep her talking, to avoid she would fall out again. Dad and I tried to convince my mum to call a doctor. We did not have a clue how, but we wanted to do everything. How could we tell mum how serious it had been? Could we tell her that she actually stopped breathing?
After a visit to the toilet, mum felt well enough and we brought her to bed, with some ice packs. When she talked, she seemed far away from us.
And so, dad sent me to bed. It was around 4am at the time. I didn't fall asleep until 6, desparetly trying to hear her breathing, which was impossible with the wall between the bedrooms, and trying to keep all those doom thoughts out of my head. At 6, the children in the barn woke up again...
To this day, we still haven't got an idea what happened. Overtiredness, because if the camp? Sunstroke? The dinner? Dinner we could rule out, because sis did not experience any problems at all. When we talk about it now to my mother, she does not remember half of what dad and I said that night. She does know that she stopped breathing indeed and that we will visit the doctor tomorrow.
To this day, I still haven't cried. The tears are there, I just cannot cry them. I keep checking on her, trying to make her rest. I'm worried, because my bedroom at home is far away from our bathroom. What if it happens again and I don't hear it? Heck, what would have happened if I did not find her that night?
I feel utterly relieved that I still have my mum with me... Goddess, the pain that I felt when I saw her on the floor. I just kept thinking about my sis, what would happen to her if she lost mum.
The anxiety simply doesn't go away...
Stormbeard, thanks for caring and being there when I needed it...