Pan
September 16th, 2002, 03:42 AM
Father, Brother, Friend...
I don't know what I'm doing. I was so happy about my new job... I sunk. I wrote poetry and listened to the crickets and the whir of the fan.
I sunk!
THe cookie candle kind of reminds me of you, Loki. Firey and warm. Caring and ready for me when I need it most. All I ahve to do is strike a match!
What am I supposed to do right now.. sleep or keep on posting to you? I know my husband is in bed right now, Lo, but I don't feel like sleeping. I don't feel like eating, sleeping, breathing, blinking. I just want to sit here and feel the empty shell inside.
But I'm not empty, am I? Can you help me burn away the bottle inside, Lo? Father, brother, friend..
Loki, my beloved God, I ask you to help me in something I can't do by myself. I ask you to help me melt this glass bottle inside, bit by bit.. Help me to be whole again! Help me empty myself of hate, sadness, depression.. Please?
I implore you, Loki! Nordic God of flame and trickery.. I love you like I didnt' know I could. I call out your name in vain, Loki.. for I never knew how much I wanted this.
So, my beloved God Loki.. I ask you to help me become me.
Please..
I don't know what I'm doing. I was so happy about my new job... I sunk. I wrote poetry and listened to the crickets and the whir of the fan.
I sunk!
THe cookie candle kind of reminds me of you, Loki. Firey and warm. Caring and ready for me when I need it most. All I ahve to do is strike a match!
What am I supposed to do right now.. sleep or keep on posting to you? I know my husband is in bed right now, Lo, but I don't feel like sleeping. I don't feel like eating, sleeping, breathing, blinking. I just want to sit here and feel the empty shell inside.
But I'm not empty, am I? Can you help me burn away the bottle inside, Lo? Father, brother, friend..
Loki, my beloved God, I ask you to help me in something I can't do by myself. I ask you to help me melt this glass bottle inside, bit by bit.. Help me to be whole again! Help me empty myself of hate, sadness, depression.. Please?
I implore you, Loki! Nordic God of flame and trickery.. I love you like I didnt' know I could. I call out your name in vain, Loki.. for I never knew how much I wanted this.
So, my beloved God Loki.. I ask you to help me become me.
Please..