In your group, how do you handle guests?

[Ivy Artemisia]

If you have guests to a ritual, how do you go about the logistics of the gathering? Do you find it difficult to set up, and socialize with the guests at the same time? If you are in a group and able to respond, how many people are in your group? Do you feel the the number of people in your group affects the way you handle guests?

Also, what do you explain to the guests beforehand?

[Astara Seague]

any guest has to be preapproved by me and only included in "family" type gatherings and usually "sponsered" in by one of the other members who stays with them the entire time

we have 10 members at the moment counting me and I think the size does affect how they are handled
I have whatever member is bringing someone to speak with them first and then I speak with them as well just about what their experiances have been in the past and then judge on that how much more to tell them and what to explain..I keep it minimuel and basic

[Lunacie]

I am so glad this topic was brought up. The first group I worked with was very small and except for the leader it was all people who were new to doing rituals and lessons. We did have a couple of new people come in a few times, and I think one might have stayed with us longer if we had put more thought into how to integrate new people into the group.

That group fell apart many years ago, and eventually I found a new group. But again the leader didn't have a lot of experience with actually being a leader and new people were just kinda brought in and left to stand there and watch. Although, I don't know how much discussion there was between the leader and the new people before they arrived at a ritual, she didn't really explain any of that to the rest of the group. Hmm, something for me to ask the last couple who came in less than a year before she left the group.

Anyway, when I took over at the end of May 2007 I didn't have a good example for integrating new seekers into the group. I did set up meetings at coffee shops or restaurants where we could talk and check out each other, but I didn't have a set of questions to ask, and I didn't have a list to give them to explain how we do things and why we do them that way. This is something I think our core group (council) needs to sit down and work on.

[~Elise~]

They are met with beforehand in a public place...they're free to ask any questions that they want. We explain the basics of the group. Based on what we get off them and what they get off us...will decide the next step. if we're all good, then we add them to our email list...that way they can go through and intro themselves online and talk with the group beforehand.

If they are coming as a guest of someone else...then that person is responsible for all their actions while present. And everyone knows that upfront...so we don't have problems arise.

It was more difficult when the group was larger, but even then everyone was talked to...we're like family anyway...so no one gets ignored. Now that we're smaller...you can't find a place to hide to get away from anyone!

We're undergoing a growth spurt though...we've added in 2 new people in the last month with 2 more potentials on the horizon as well.

Elise

[Lunacie]

They are met with beforehand in a public place...they're free to ask any questions that they want. We explain the basics of the group. Based on what we get off them and what they get off us...will decide the next step. if we're all good, then we add them to our email list...that way they can go through and intro themselves online and talk with the group beforehand.

If they are coming as a guest of someone else...then that person is responsible for all their actions while present. And everyone knows that upfront...so we don't have problems arise.

It was more difficult when the group was larger, but even then everyone was talked to...we're like family anyway...so no one gets ignored. Now that we're smaller...you can't find a place to hide to get away from anyone!

We're undergoing a growth spurt though...we've added in 2 new people in the last month with 2 more potentials on the horizon as well.

Elise

Yeah, I forgot about that... after the first meeting or two we may add them to our yahoo group so they'll be able to see info like the charter and old files and old and current emails, and the event calendar. Makes it easy for them to ask questions and get a feel for the group as a whole, beyond the 1 or 2 or 3 people that were at the first meeting.

[BlackLili]

Geeze, I need new glasses. My hand to Legba, I thought the first post was asking about groups and their "Quests."

I came in here to find out what I was missing.

http://blog.juno3.com/wp-content/images/tv/the_return.jpg

:bow: :giggle: :thumbsup:

/carry on

[tellmethetruth]

They are met with beforehand in a public place...they're free to ask any questions that they want. We explain the basics of the group. Based on what we get off them and what they get off us...will decide the next step. if we're all good, then we add them to our email list...that way they can go through and intro themselves online and talk with the group beforehand.

If they are coming as a guest of someone else...then that person is responsible for all their actions while present. And everyone knows that upfront...so we don't have problems arise.

It was more difficult when the group was larger, but even then everyone was talked to...we're like family anyway...so no one gets ignored. Now that we're smaller...you can't find a place to hide to get away from anyone!

We're undergoing a growth spurt though...we've added in 2 new people in the last month with 2 more potentials on the horizon as well.

Elise

I really like that. I practice alone and I've never gone to a group ritual, and I'm nervous that if I ever do I'll do something wrong. I've heard that spells work much better when a group does them, and that might freak me out a bit. So if everybody knew a little about me before I showed up, and if whoever invited me would actually be able to keep an eye on me, make sure I didn't do anything wrong, let me know what was going to happen so I didn't get surprised, that would be awesome. What a great way to run your group.

[Jenett]

If you have guests to a ritual, how do you go about the logistics of the gathering?

Yay, for this question!

In the shiny new group, we've made a few decisions about guests: we are designed as a small, focused, working group - so having lots of guests is not a good fit with that. We anticipate most of our guests being either potential members (with some other getting-to-know them time first) or tradmates and other close friends. (in which case we know them, and most of the people in this category are initiates or can be trusted to behave themselves appropriately.)

- In general, no more guests than (# of members/2) - so, right now, with two members, we would have at most 1 guest. This helps make sure one or the other of us can explain things, and it means that the feel of the ritual is weighted to us, not by having lots of guests.

- We also don't want to have guests at every ritual: we want to make sure there's time for us to work as a small group by ourselves. I hope to eventually settle down so that we have guests at no more than 1 ritual in 4-6.

- We're doing two slightly more relaxed guesting rituals - one was Beltane, the other will be Mabon, where having guests or being with a broader group is part of the point of the ritual. In this case, these are known people (good friends, tradmates, etc.)

We deliberately keep our set-up small and simple anyway, so it's not a big deal to also talk to guests. One other option is doing most of the set-up before the time we've asked the guests to arrive, so that we can relax and chat for a little before we get going.

As I mentioned elsewhere recently, my former group (more people, and more frequent guests) would usually have 1-2 people not involved in the detailed ritual set-up who'd hang out and focus on the guests, which I like a lot as a solution when there's more prep needed.


Also, what do you explain to the guests beforehand?

Depends on the guest - for potential members, we want to make sure we've gone through a discussion of general and specific ritual etiquette with them (this would normally take 2-3 meetings/discussions with them to get to - the first one is the meeting, the second one might be more discussion about how we work and why we do ritual if they didn't have a lot of background).

With people we know well, we tend to just give a quick overview of the highlights/anything that might be unusual for them. We are careful to explain the general focus of the day in the invitation email, and to make sure people have stuff in writing to refer to as they're getting ready.