Parental Issues

[WpingWllow]

Hello Again,

Any thoughts on how to get acceptance from family members, i.e. parents? My parents know my relegious beliefs and still deny it, tell me to "stop this nonsense" and drag me to Catholic Mass with them on Sunday. When I mentioned how I refuse to get confirmed into the Catholic church, I got the silent treatment for two weeks.

Any help on the issue would be wonderful.

Blessed Be.

WpingWllow

[Chibi-Fallon]

Ummmm. Sometime the closet is a good place to be. ;)

[st0rm]

u prolly cant change their view of paganism, but u can make them respect ur choice of religion..

[Raevyn]

Give 'em time and patience. Imagine one day your parents told you something that made you think they were falling in with a satan worshipping animal killing baby eating drug doing crowd, *and* you were the one responsible for their safety and raising. You'd probably have a hard time with it too, wondering what you did wrong and worrying about what could happen to them.

[Willow_Raindancer]

Originally posted by Chibi-Fallon
Ummmm. Sometime the closet is a good place to be. ;)

Yeah, it's nice and warm and cozy in there!
No bright lights.
No one yelling or calling you names.
It's kind of like a womb..............

But it's nice being who you are too.
Your parents may NEVER accept your religion
They may just come around if you make it a Non-issue.
It just may take some time for that to happen.
I'm going on the assumtion (I hate doing that)
that you still live at home.
You might have to wait til you on your own before
the acceptance occures.
Blessed Be;)

[Hamelyn]

Speaking as a bisexual pagan teenager in Missouri of the United States, I think I can relate to this problem. There's a lot of issues in this world that people won't accept in theirs. You know how ancient cultures believed that breaking certain tabboos held power? Well, it's true. In some minds, it's tabboo to love someone of the same gender, or to practice certain religious and spiritual paths. And when you break these tabboos, it gets some powerful results. What I try to do is just keep it low-key... even though I come from a somewhat icky parental background, it helps to have communities (like this one!) where I can get active and spend time on my own outside of my parents' houses... I get my 'pagan tendancies' as it were out of my system elsewhere so I don't have to get it out on them.

You told them, and they know. As helpful as their approval might be, but you can use mass as a learning experience. Think about the way they worship and how it is similar to and differant from the way that you want to, if nothing else.

What you do with your parents, though, I can't say what's best for you. I do hope that you find something that works out well for all individuals involved. Hope this helps!

[PureClassicTorture]

Why can't people be more accepting of the beliefs people have? My mother just makes a joke of my beliefs, and her husband is smart enough to keep quiet. Honestly, the worst is what I get at school.

I've never been one to hide what I believe, preffering to stand up for the rights of everyone, myself included. During a recent debate in World Religions class, however, I found that bringing up the fact that I'm Wicca a big mistake. I expected some disdain, but nothing like I got. Now the best way to try to shut me up seems to be to call me a wtich with a stoopidly satisfied smile. I can't belive the way people use faith as a weapon. I feel like hurling the words "sheep" or "Christian" at them with as much venom as is possible. But I don't.

But, really, why can't people be taught tolerance? It's really, REALLY, stupid that some of us have to hide what we feel and what we believe. And I'm really upset that for the first time ever, I'm wishing I had just sat there as though I had no opinon, when truly, I had so much to say. And I hate that now everytime I say something in any class, I know that people are thinking, "What does she know, she's a witch".

Sorry this is so bitter. I hate to say it, WpingWillow, but it might just be best to be a quiet pagan. Man, I really hate society right now!

"Punx Unite! "

---Kai

[st0rm]

PureClassicTorture.... the primary reason for not tolerating wicca is lack of knowledge, ppl often ridicule stuff they dont understand.. another reason might be that ppl are scared of things thats "unusual"(just take a look at history, minoritys alwas being hunted) and it dosent get more unusual then magick and godess worship. And to a chrisitan, magick and witchcraft is forbidden (salamon (i think) searched for witches and offed them ) witchcraft and magick has been forbidden for sevral thousands of years we cant expect everything to change in fifty years......

[Shinko]

Well willow, have you explained to your parents exactly what wicca/paganism/whatever-path-you-follow really is? Have you thought about what paganism and catholocism have in common (and there's a lot), and pointed it out to them? From what you've told us it sounds like they haven't got a clue what it is you're really following and think you're going through some rebellious teenage phase. Usually reasoning will at least help with parental issues, but if they just won't listen to you then maybe "the closet" is the best place to be around them. You should at least try to explain what it is you're really following to them.