When others mistreat your familiar?

[magicalfantasy]

Well, not as in, abusing them, or things of that sort, but mentally.

I feel strongly that my black cat is my familiar. Not because she's a black cat, but because of the way she acts. I guess I should give you a little background on her before I go on explaining my problem, because the background is where the problem began.

I got Angel when she was a kitten. Someone I knew at the time had a cat who had kitttens, and only two of them were black. When I looked in the friend's trunk, there were three little kittens. One gray, and two black. I picked up one of the black ones, and while it was very sweet and loving, the other one kept pawing at me for attention. So I picked her up and I got attached immediately. I took her inside and played with her for awhile, then fell asleep with her that day. Well, I had her for a long time, but then one day while she was outside, someone took her and she disappeared for 3 days. When she came back, her personality had changed completely. She was really high-tempered and angry and defensive. No one could go near her except me, and even that wasn't too much. We think that whoever took her treated her very badly.

Well, since then, her temper has gone down a lot, but she still doesn't get along with any of our other animals or any of the humans except for me and my mom, and very occasionally, my sister. Because she has such a temper, even when she minds her own business, people shun her and scowl at her, and talk about her right in front of me and make a big deal out of the little things she does. If she walks into a room and lays down, people get pissed and force me to kick her out (which doesn't end well for me, might I add. -_-), and basically are just really mean to her. I really wish there was something I could do, but I don't know what. Does anyone have any advice?

[Tanya]

spend a lot of time with her.. as much as she will allow.. if she's been hurt she needs to be reassured that you are a safe place... talk to the others in your house about how she must have been hurt and needs their patence just as you would be kind and supportive and understanding to a friend who had been mugged... not trusting and feeling angry is a normal response to hurt.

give her space that is 'hers' and time. cats are very resilient. she will heal.

[magicalfantasy]

spend a lot of time with her.. as much as she will allow.. if she's been hurt she needs to be reassured that you are a safe place... talk to the others in your house about how she must have been hurt and needs their patence just as you would be kind and supportive and understanding to a friend who had been mugged... not trusting and feeling angry is a normal response to hurt.

give her space that is 'hers' and time. cats are very resilient. she will heal.

Well, because this happened such a long time ago (I've had Angel a long time. I don't even remember how long. 5 years at least. It probably didn't happen until having her for a couple of years.), people think that she should have gotten over it by now, but don't understand that an animal's mind doesn't work like a human's mind does. She'll still come to me when I'm studying or doing a spell or ritual. But I haven't done any of that for a long time, and even lately, when I was thinking about coming back and studying again, she was always around like she was telling me that I should get my ass in gear and start studying again. As I was typing this a few minutes ago she was looking over what I wrote down. So she'll still gladly be around me, but when it comes to personal space she really doesn't like having it entered. She let's me pet her, but usually not for very long, and she decides whether or not she wants to actually hop on my lap and spend time with me. So she has plenty of "her" time, and I've told people to be patient with her, but no one cares unless it's their pet who is being shunned or yelled at.

[aluokaloo]

well animals are like people, if you were taken away from your home against your will you'd be tramautized and upset and confused and every animal is different, some may bounce back after a while and some may be tramautized for a very long time. just give her lots of love and patience. plus animals may not understand as well you would given the language barrier, she can't tell you what happened, and she can't understand. energy for you and angel sent. :hugz: :hugz:

[chrysanna]

I've had a similar experiment with my cat, who I am also convinced is my familiar.

I went through an extremely bad period of my life where there were a lot of unsavory characters wandering in an out of my home. During this time he got out a lot, managed to get fleas, and was generally miserable.

After that I got myself out of that situation and into a new place. It was just the two of us, and I had to spend a lot of time regaining his trust and showing him how much I loved him.

Now he's my best friend. He always greets me at the door and spends as much time on my lap as possible.

As the others have said, you just need to assure her of your love and dedication. She's been through a rough time and needs you now more than ever. And as for other people in the house who treat her badly, try to keep her away from them as much as possible. I know this is much easier said than done, but a few quiet moments in another room with you nearby may help to calm her.

Oh, BTW, try Temptations treats. It's a good way of rewarding her for being close to you (I used to give him a couple whenever he got on my lap. Now I don't have to. :) ). Plus I've noticed that most cats come scurrying into the room if you just shake the bag. lol!

I wish you the best of luck. You've got an invaluable bond with a very special animal/person. Cherish it and it will grow. Let us know how things go.

[Glowy]

I am glad you have her back!! * energy and love to you both*

Just keep up with what you are doing.

[MidnightFire]

Glad to hear that she got back to you. I agree with everyone else, just give her time.

One question though about everyone complaining about her. Do you live with a bunch of other people? If not, tell them to shut the hell up, Angel belongs in your home. If you do and you're renting, tell them to shut the hell up, you pay your rent same as the rest of 'em. If you still live with family though, I don't know what to tell you. Just be as reassuring and comforting as possible for her.

Again, glad to hear you got her back.

[Calli]

Wow! Poor baby! I have had cats have traumas in their lives and never completely recover from them. It's possible that she will never be the same as she was. But you can make her as happy as possible. Just love and accept her for who she is now. That may be the best thing you can do for her, psychologically. Remember, she chose you. She loves you more than anything. Nothing will change that. Just celebrate that bond.

When she gets defensive, try to be understanding, and not discipline her for it. She can't help what she feels. And she can't really hide it, either. When you have to kick her out of a room, can you carry her to another room and explain to her that you are putting her where she'll be happier and more peaceful? That's what we do with our Lucky, who is quite defensive and often picked on by the younger cats.