Justice

[debnmike]

We need some help here. I have a court date coming up---child support stuff. Now, I don't want to do anything for "prosperity" or "luck" or anything. I am straight up looking for justice. Frankly, I don't want anything but justice. My ex husband makes $120,000.00 a year. Yes, that's right--$120K a year. Based on what he pays in child support, he nets $475 a month. Again, you read that right.

In any event, we have a court date coming up Nov 5th. Does anyone here have any ideas for a "justice" ritual? Any and all ideas would be welcome.

Thanks everyone.

Deb
debnmike

[~Elise~]

so...he pays over 9K in child support??? I don't think so...no state in land would allow that.

If that is true...that man needs a new attorney...and needs to sue his last one.

[debnmike]

so...he pays over 9K in child support??? I don't think so...no state in land would allow that.

If that is true...that man needs a new attorney...and needs to sue his last one.


When I wrote the OP I was a little angry so I suppose it came out wrong. His actual income is $120,000.00 a year--his payments are based off a net income a month of $477.00. He actually nets $7,800.00 a month.

After thinking about it, I suppose a cleansing ritual would be appropriate. I mean, "justice" is a bit ambiguous, and my way of thinking is that if in fact "justice" is based off of truth, then that would be the way to go.

Thoughts?

[Lunacie]

We need some help here. I have a court date coming up---child support stuff. Now, I don't want to do anything for "prosperity" or "luck" or anything. I am straight up looking for justice. Frankly, I don't want anything but justice. My ex husband makes $120,000.00 a year. Yes, that's right--$120K a year. Based on what he pays in child support, he nets $475 a month. Again, you read that right.

In any event, we have a court date coming up Nov 5th. Does anyone here have any ideas for a "justice" ritual? Any and all ideas would be welcome.

Thanks everyone.

Deb
debnmike

Do your kids need more money from their dad? Is he putting anything into a college fund for them or something like that? If your lawyer has proof that your ex is making more money per anum than he claimed at the last hearing to determine his child support payments, then the judge should be able to make a fair judgment based on that. It's hard to let go of the negative feelings towards an ex, but it sounds like you still have some hurt and some anger that make you want to 'get even' moreso than 'get justice.'

[debnmike]

Do your kids need more money from their dad? Is he putting anything into a college fund for them or something like that? If your lawyer has proof that your ex is making more money per anum than he claimed at the last hearing to determine his child support payments, then the judge should be able to make a fair judgment based on that. It's hard to let go of the negative feelings towards an ex, but it sounds like you still have some hurt and some anger that make you want to 'get even' moreso than 'get justice.'

It's not so much a "get even" deal, I'm just really tired of trying to support my kids off of my salary alone($30k/yr). It's hard with daycare, medical insurance (paid by me), school supplies/clothes, etc. I'd like to be able to buy them stuff when they need it, not wait around for my next paycheck so I can (hopefully) fit it into my budget.
No, he hasn't got anything stored away for the kids. He moved to Vegas in June, and has seen them 3 times since. When he does see them, he has the $$ to take them out and do the fun stuff, then tell them that their mom should be doing the same. Problem is, I don't have the money left over to do that--I barely have enough for the essentials.
He's also told me that if the amount he will have to pay isn't "what he thinks is fair to him" (direct quote), then he'll quit his job and the kids won't get anything. So yeah, I'm angry, because selfishness has no place when it comes to raising your kids.

BTW, it's nice to see you again!

[Lunacie]

It's not so much a "get even" deal, I'm just really tired of trying to support my kids off of my salary alone($30k/yr). It's hard with daycare, medical insurance (paid by me), school supplies/clothes, etc. I'd like to be able to buy them stuff when they need it, not wait around for my next paycheck so I can (hopefully) fit it into my budget.
No, he hasn't got anything stored away for the kids. He moved to Vegas in June, and has seen them 3 times since. When he does see them, he has the $$ to take them out and do the fun stuff, then tell them that their mom should be doing the same. Problem is, I don't have the money left over to do that--I barely have enough for the essentials.
He's also told me that if the amount he will have to pay isn't "what he thinks is fair to him" (direct quote), then he'll quit his job and the kids won't get anything. So yeah, I'm angry, because selfishness has no place when it comes to raising your kids.

BTW, it's nice to see you again!

You're in a tough place. My daughter doesn't get any child support from her ex. He's supposed to pay $100 a month (that's for both girls) but has only paid once in the last 4 years. She didn't expect him to make the payments so she's not angry. His financial irresponsibility was the whole reason for the divorce, so she knew up front that she wasn't going to file charges against him for non-payment. He takes the girls every weekend so we get a break (they are both special needs), and he find the money to buy them new shoes and socks and jeans and tee shirts. The government provides health care for them.

When I was divorced my ex missed one spousal support payment. So I placed a binding spell on him to keep his sworn word to the court that he would pay so much a month for 36 months. No more, and no less. But I can understand you feeling your ex could be paying more. I'd think about doing a spell that the lawyers/judge would work out a solution that both of you could be comfortable with, 'cause he sounds serious about quitting his job if he's not comfortable with the court decision. Good luck.

[~Elise~]

okay--that makes more sense. It sounds like YOU need a pitbull dog of a lawyer to get what it yours...and there is nothing wrong with that.

He needs to carry the medical insurance...period. he needs to pay relative amount on your daycare expenses even 50% would be more acceptable though.

Get yourself a GOOD lawyer...right now you can't afford not too, because you're getting the shaft.

Elise

[debnmike]

okay--that makes more sense. It sounds like YOU need a pitbull dog of a lawyer to get what it yours...and there is nothing wrong with that.

He needs to carry the medical insurance...period. he needs to pay relative amount on your daycare expenses even 50% would be more acceptable though.

Get yourself a GOOD lawyer...right now you can't afford not too, because you're getting the shaft.

Elise

I have a good attorney--she specializes in dead beat dads. Insofar as the med insurance goes, my ex doesn't have the work stability to maintain insurance on them. My kids have chronic med conditions, and I can't afford for them not to be covered. I'd rather just bite the bullet and maintain their insurance myself.
I'm going to try the purification ritual--I think it comes closest to what I'm shooting for. What do you think?

[~Elise~]

I think Justice is better...JMO, though.

As for the medical...then he needs to pay you his proportionate amount of what you pay.

Elise

[Shanti]

Where is all the rest of his money going?
If this is through the courts he has to prove a lot.

[Simply Puzzled]

We need some help here. I have a court date coming up---child support stuff. Now, I don't want to do anything for "prosperity" or "luck" or anything.

This shows great instinct, imho.


In any event, we have a court date coming up Nov 5th. Does anyone here have any ideas for a "justice" ritual? Any and all ideas would be welcome.


I thought about this a lot, and I think what you need is a Champion to ensure justice (other than a good lawyer, which it seems you have). Except you really don't need justice for yourself, it sounds like you need justice for your children. Why not nicely ask a deity associated with these areas for help? I think Artemis might be a good choice for several reasons: she loves children; she protects those that can't protect themselves; she plays for your team. In short, I can't imagine her being sympathetic to a dead beat dad. This would stand in stark contrast to say, invoking Zeus for justice.

A simple ritual might involve something like:

A shower/bath

A greeting/introduction

A hymn to Artemis (http://ancienthistory.about.com/library/bl/bl_text_homerhymn_artemis2.htm)

An libation/offering of olive oil, some food, or incense

A statement of what you want to happen and why

A bargain for a future offering (if I win, I'll do X, like donate some time to the humane society)

A sincere thank you.

[debnmike]

This shows great instinct, imho.



I thought about this a lot, and I think what you need is a Champion to ensure justice (other than a good lawyer, which it seems you have). Except you really don't need justice for yourself, it sounds like you need justice for your children. Why not nicely ask a deity associated with these areas for help? I think Artemis might be a good choice for several reasons: she loves children; she protects those that can't protect themselves; she plays for your team. In short, I can't imagine her being sympathetic to a dead beat dad. This would stand in stark contrast to say, invoking Zeus for justice.

A simple ritual might involve something like:

A shower/bath

A greeting/introduction

A hymn to Artemis (http://ancienthistory.about.com/library/bl/bl_text_homerhymn_artemis2.htm)

An libation/offering of olive oil, some food, or incense

A statement of what you want to happen and why

A bargain for a future offering (if I win, I'll do X, like donate some time to the humane society)

A sincere thank you.

SimplyPuzzled--
That's almost exactly what I was thinking ('cept for Artemis, with whom I'm not too familiar but I will certainly investigate!). And thanks for the kind words.

Shanti, I have no idea where his money goes. I'm guessing that since he's now in Vegas that it's spent on chicks and gambling. He's always had the "rockstar" lifestyle, whether he's had the money or not. Frankly, I don't care who or what he spends his money on, as long as he spends some on his kids. Today is kinda cold (for Florida, anyway)--it's in the low 60's. Both kids need some warmer clothes and I don't have the cash until this coming weekend to buy any. THAT'S the stuff that ticks me off.

Thanks so much for the replies. However, I'm more than willing to have more suggestions should anybody have any.

deb

[Simply Puzzled]

SimplyPuzzled--
That's almost exactly what I was thinking ('cept for Artemis, with whom I'm not too familiar but I will certainly investigate!). And thanks for the kind words.

deb

It's always good to have book research behind you before asking for help, but do not let it be a boundary by which you limit Her. It's more important to see this as the first step in a relationship rather reading the instructions on a new electric drill before using it, if that makes sense.

In the meantime, would you mind if I made some offerings on your behalf?

[debnmike]

..........
In the meantime, would you mind if I made some offerings on your behalf?

My children and I would thank you very very much for it!


deb

[Simply Puzzled]

My children and I would thank you very very much for it!


deb

It is done. Just make sure you keep us updated!