Help requested....

[Saphra]

My step-father is in the hospital, he is an alcoholic with begining liver failure and pancreatitis, he's kind of turning a bit yellow with jaundice.
Most of the time he's an ass, and I mean a major one, (manic depressive) I don't think he really likes me when he drinks, but that's because my mom loves me more than him, and he's jelous. But when he's sober, he is alright, I still don't get along with him, but he doesn't yell at me because I didn't do the dishes (I work 10 hours a day, it's kind of hard sometimes to get them done) I don't even know if I like him, but my mom seems too when he's sober, so can you guys send some healing this way, you'll be helping my mom out a lot.
If he doesn't quit drinking this time, he is going to die..... I need to find a way to get him to quit, his liver can't handle too much more.
~with a single tear drop falling down her cheek she steps into the shadows~ Blessed be everyone

[Flar's Freyja]

Unfortunately, the person has to admit that they have a problem and want to quit before anyone can do anything to help. This is painful for you and your family but all you can do is pray right now, and confront him when he's well enough. If and when he's willing, you might point him toward an AA meeting. They're free and there's no obligation for him to even admit he's an alcoholic to attend an open meeting. Some areas have meetings just for newcomers. You should be able to find them in the phone book and they'll either send you a list of meetings or tell you where to get one. Some newspapers publish a list of support groups once a week or so.

Are any of you acquainted with anyone in recovery? If so, you might be able to enlist that person to visit with him. Maybe this incident will be his "bottom" and give him an awakening.

Will send healing energy to all of you :heartthro

[Saphra]

I should also add that this is his second time in the hospital for this reason, and he has OD'd on alcohol 2 other times in the past, He has gone to AA meetings before but says that all the people do in there is whine, so he wont go...... I wish he would. Thanks for the advice Freyja, I will try to see if we have someone he can talk too. maybe that would help.

[Semele]

*wipes a tear away as well*

You are a very special person to be so caring to someone who has obviously caused pain to you. Sometimes it is those who are the hardest to love that need it the most. Even if he doesn't respond to that love in a positive way, you are doing the right thing for him and for yourself in choosing to love him anyway and offer any support you can. Please don't ever let the cruel things in life take that quality away from you. It is worth fighting for my friend.

You have all the energy I can send for him to be healed of his immediate medical problems and the emotional/addiction problems that put him in this position. You and your Mom have my energy and love as well. Take care of each other!

The liver is one of the only organs in the body with the ability to regenerate and heal itself...if it is allowed to. That means the drinking will have to cease for good. Hopefully he can accomplish this without too much pain for the family. It is a hard road to travel but well worth it. I think you should probably check into a support group for yourself and your Mom while he is trying to quit. The Al-Anon and Al-Ateen groups are good. They are pretty much Christian based, although it never mentions that the higher power is the Christian God, but still a great source of support for everyone there has been where you are. Good Luck!

[Flar's Freyja]

Some people don't like AA when they are active alcoholics but change their minds when they really do want help. And AA isn't for everyone, either. When he's ready, maybe you can find out if his insurance would pay for treatment in a treatment center or hospital, but they almost always require patients to attend meetings.

Idea ~ what about talking to his doctor and asking him to have a "come to Jesus" talk with him?

[Semele]

Ah...just read your newest reply regarding his lack of interest in AA. YOu and your Mom could still go. I went to Al-A-Teen as a teen and my Dad had yet to even admit his drinking problem. It heled a lot and you would be suprised to see the number of folks there in the same boat.

Unfortunately, on a sad note, I do have another personal story that sounds very similar to this. Mol's nephew came to live with us when he was 13. His mom was an alcoholic and had been told 6 years previously that if she didn't stop drinking she would kill herself. She had Cirrhosis of the liver. Well she made it 2 years longer than they thought she would. A large blood vessel leading from the liver to the stomach ruptured becasue the liver no long functioned enough to filter anything out. She had emergency surgery and lived for a week and a half on a ventilator. Have you got any idea what it is like to watch a 13 year old visit his mom in an ICU on a vent three times a day and talk to her as if everything was ok? It is the worst thing I have ever seen and it makes me cry to this day to even think about it. She was only 32 years old. Hopefully you and your mom wont have to go through the same thing.