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Antoninus
November 13th, 2008, 11:26 PM
I found this the other day :)

Murphy’s Laws of Combat

Soldiers and Armies
1. You are not Superman.
2. Professionals' are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
3. No combat ready unit has passed inspection.
4. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
5. The side with the fanciest uniforms loses.
6. Murphy was a grunt.

Battle
1. If you are short everything except enemy, you're in combat.
2. When both sides are convinced they are about to lose, they're both right.

Planning
1. The important things are simple.
2. The simple things are very hard.
3. No plan survives the first contact intact.
4. Prefect plans aren't.

Tactics
1. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
2. Never draw fire, it makes everyone around you nervous.
3. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
4. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
5. Anything you can do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
6. If the enemy is in range, "SO ARE YOU!!!"
7. If you can't see the enemy, he still may be able to see you.

Techniques
1. If it's stupid but works, it's not stupid.
2. When in doubt, empty the magazine.
3. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.
4. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
5. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
6. The easy way is always mined.
7. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
8. Teamwork is essential. It gives the enemy other' to shoot at.
9. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you can't get out.
10. The only terrain that is truly controlled is the terrain upon which you're standing.
11. The easy way generally gets you killed.
12. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share objectives to take.
13. You can win without fighting, but it's a lot tougher to do. And the enemy may not cooperate.

Casualties
1. Ammo is cheap; your life isn't.
2. It's easier to expend material in combat than to fill out the forms for Graves Registration.

Weapons
1. Always keep in mind that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
2. The law of the bayonet says the man with the bullet wins.
3. Tracers work both ways.
4. The best tank killer is another tank. Therefore tanks are always fighting each other... and have no time to help the infantry.
5. Armored vehicles are bullet magnets, a moving foxhole that attracts attention.
6. All five second grenades are three seconds.
7. The bursting radius of a grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
8. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards YOU.
9. Recoilless rifles, aren't.

Artillery and Bombing
1. Suppressive fire, won't.
2. Final protective fire doesn't.
3. Friendly fire, isn't.
4. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
5. Incoming fire has the right-of-way.
6. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
7. If you are forward of your position, artillery will fall short.
8. All-weather close support doesn't work in bad weather.
9. Precision bombing is normally accurate within plus/minus one mile.
10. Cluster bombing from B-25s and C-130s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.

Supply
1. Murphy was a logistician.
2. Things that must be together to work, usually can't be shipped together.
3. Radios will fail as soon as you need something desperately.
4. Beer math is "2 beers x 37 men=49 cases."

Intelligence
1. Body count math is: two guerrillas plus one portable plus two pigs=37 enemy in action.
2. The enemy side always looks stronger, especially when they are firing at you, to both sides.
3. The othersides weapons always seem to look better than you own.
4. The noisiest weapons always appear to the most powerful.

ThePaganMafia
December 21st, 2008, 07:44 PM
4. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.


Happened on my last training excercise. Once we breached the city all radio communication went down. :uhhuhuh:

BlueEyedWolf
December 21st, 2008, 11:43 PM
:fpraise:I Love Murphy's Law:fpraise:

pawnman
January 7th, 2009, 01:20 PM
Minor point, but

10. Cluster bombing from B-25s and C-130s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.

C-130s don't carry cluster bombs.

These are classics.

sleepycat
March 22nd, 2009, 08:56 PM
3. Tracers work both ways.

"fire up the idiot using all the tracer" ~ quote from my squad leader.

Against The Tide
March 22nd, 2009, 09:25 PM
These are classics.

I agree

Mits_Giotix
March 29th, 2009, 03:22 PM
Great quotes. I have to tell the artillery one to my father, he was an artillery officer for over 25 years...he's gonna love them! :D

Fading Star Spirit
March 29th, 2009, 03:25 PM
:uhhuhuh: This needs to be in every military handbook. lol

Pagan's Sword
November 14th, 2009, 11:13 PM
Murphy's law has nothing on SNAFU! Situation Normal: All f***ED up! It's the U.S. Army's way of life.

Vampiel
November 15th, 2009, 03:11 PM
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.


:rotfl: LoL'd at this one

~*Trinity Aura*~
November 15th, 2009, 03:21 PM
My brother would get a kick out of this:thumbsup:

Threeeyedwilly
December 12th, 2009, 09:14 PM
I think the Navy version of SNAFU is BOHECA.
At least it was what we used to joke about when I was in.
Bend Over, Here It Comes Again. It was a common phrase when gear was breaking down 1 piece after another. Also when dealing with duty station orders.

kingcanine
December 13th, 2009, 01:22 AM
Marine's version of SNAFU is FUBAR. F*cked Up Beyond All Recognition.

Twig
February 15th, 2010, 09:14 PM
1 cannon fact was omitted.

A rifle will usually kill 1 person
A grenade may kill a few
But a 155 will take the whole damn building down!!!

:hyper:
Twig
Late of the 1/73 F.A. Ft Bragg

Noah
September 22nd, 2010, 01:08 AM
I love Murphy's Laws, we posted an abridged version of this one on our hooch door in Afghanistan. They are funny, yet so true



1 cannon fact was omitted.

A rifle will usually kill 1 person
A grenade may kill a few
But a 155 will take the whole damn building down!!!

:hyper:
Twig
Late of the 1/73 F.A. Ft Bragg

I like that one...I am 17 years Artillery

The Windwalker
October 29th, 2010, 12:39 AM
I think...

...no, I'm sure...

...every one of those Laws were proven true before my very eyes when I was in the Corps!:rotfl:

Charley Brown
October 29th, 2010, 12:40 AM
I was Combat Engineer in 1971. You do the math.

mouseytalons
October 29th, 2010, 01:52 AM
My 1st husband was a combat engineer in the early 1970's. I love murphy's laws.

keith g
January 25th, 2011, 10:21 AM
the most dangerous man on the battlefield is a Rupert (officer) with a map.

might is right........and big is beautiful..............:)