Nonattachment and romantic relationships

[KylalaKitty]

How can you practice nonattachment and be in a romantic relationship at the same time? How can you NOT be attached to the person you're with, even if you understand that all things end, nothing lasts forever?

[Toby Stimpson]

I think that by practicing mindfulness you can accept the important concept of non-attachment.

Non attachment doesn't mean 'not attaching at all" it means letting go when things do leave or end. Being mindful of the present, and the relationship you have right now in that present. Not jumping ahead too much, and not dwelling in the past.

[Shawn Blackwolf]

How can you practice nonattachment and be in a romantic relationship at the same time? How can you NOT be attached to the person you're with, even if you understand that all things end, nothing lasts forever?

WOW...Where have YOU been , beautiful lady ?

So...is this a new lucky guy ? Hopefully better one than last time ,
when he was ignoring you ? As far as your question...:uhhuhuh:

Love every second you can , with all you have to give...
while loving yourself...very important that last part...

Because...if a relationship ends...you are with you , and
that must be a person you do love...:thumbsup:

Savor the essence of now , with them...do not depend on
a tomorrow...yet , be thankful for each new day...plan
what you can...believe with all your heart...that you ,
if only you...are giving your best...

And why ? For the sake of love...:uhhuhuh:

( P.S. Thread since you have been gone...Love Letter thread...
Want to post a Letter To The Universe ? Poem ? Go for it...)

Great to see you...:thumbsup:

[KylalaKitty]

I think that by practicing mindfulness you can accept the important concept of non-attachment.

Non attachment doesn't mean 'not attaching at all" it means letting go when things do leave or end. Being mindful of the present, and the relationship you have right now in that present. Not jumping ahead too much, and not dwelling in the past.

That makes sense, thank you.

[KylalaKitty]

WOW...Where have YOU been , beautiful lady ?

So...is this a new lucky guy ? Hopefully better one than last time ,
when he was ignoring you ?

This one is much better. I've actually been trying to hide from men and not wanting anything to do with relationships because of that last relationship last summer, but this guy, Drew, is much much better. He's an old friend that I've known for 3 years but havent really began to hang out with him until May. He's really sweet and accepts me for who I am. He can be over protective and paranoid at times but its because he cares. He doesnt make me feel like a piece of furniture like the last boyfriend. I really hope this relationship lasts for a while but I'll keep in mind what you'd said. Thanks.

btw, check out http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?p=3787561#post3787561 to learn about whats been going on in my world as of late.

[Phoenix Blue]

How can you practice nonattachment and be in a romantic relationship at the same time? How can you NOT be attached to the person you're with, even if you understand that all things end, nothing lasts forever?
Buddhism, as I understand it, focuses on unhealthy attachment. It's perfectly okay to love someone and be in love with him, but to attach yourself to the point of believing you can't live without him is unhealthy. See also: codependence. :)

[clearing]

Love your partner, as beautiful as they are through and through. If depend your love for on another by externals, you will feel loss when they go. If you recognize that all your love for others lasts forever in your heart, you are peacefully home. Remember your oneness with all spirit.

[Toby Stimpson]

Love your partner, as beautiful as they are through and through. If depend your love for on another by externals, you will feel loss when they go. If you recognize that all your love for others lasts forever in your heart, you are peacefully home. Remember your oneness with all spirit.

But thats not nonattachment though. Non attachment teaches that nothing lasts forever, not even love. Im a little confused how that actually answers her question

[clearing]

But thats not nonattachment though. Non attachment teaches that nothing lasts forever, not even love. Im a little confused how that actually answers her question

Non-attachment is neither attachment nor detachment. It is to participate in life without becoming affected by change; perhaps to become more of a witness. We then are not attached to the changes, nor are we detaching ourselves from them. As Buddha said, this is the "middle way." It is not the objects themselves, but our attachment to them that creates suffering. In the physical domain, objects are transitory. That is why they are not our truest value. Our truest value is our divine Self, that which is Permanent. It is essentially the all-inclusive reality itself.

So when you're in your relationship, know that it will end, but live in the Now. Be in your hearts together, and you will know that the Love is everlasting. This is because we are one. Yes, Real Love is eternal. It does not last forever only when dependent on externals, which are always changing. If it is truly from within, it is from You, and thus it is forever in united Spirit.

[MetropolisGott]

That actually strikes me as the Taoist belief on non-attachment, also. I don't remember where I read it, it may've been Chuang-tzu. At any rate, it talks about finding a third path whenever you have a question between 2 opposites, the third path in this choice being neither attachment nor detachment. It's also like the idea of Passion in the Feri Path, which is neither Obsession nor Apathy. Basically, loving for the moment, not for expectation of the future.