Sean's Personal Altar

[Sean]

I find myself here once again, and I hear you calling me to make it my home. You've guided my hand, and for that I am grateful. You've kept clothing on my back, food in my stomach, and shelter over my head, even when I've had nothing to offer. I owe you so much, I never will know how things could have ended up. I know you are apart of me now, and I pray that you will bind my life to yours, so I may to dance in summerland. I grow in knowledge with each passing moment, a rushing fury of your great wisdom. I will follow your path until the end, wether it be bitter or sweet. I wish to look at the underside of a green leaf and see your smiling faces in it's intricate viens. So I stand here and now to walk with you, hand in hand, and know that your apart of me. Thank you godess, thank you god, you have given me so much, and blessed me with many gifts, my debt to you is eternal.

[Sean]

Why do I feel like im the universe's joke? Maybe it's beacuse I am. Cursed for life with a disease, cursed never to be able to meet somone and share intimacy with them. I feel like I was robbed, having only 2 sexual partners in my life, and the one that has caused so much grief in my life is blood. To young, to stupid to know any better, and I was robbed. I have forgiven the party involved, but it doesnt make my curse any easier to handle. How do I deal with this? How can I ever show love to someone when I can't commit the act? Godess guide me to somone who shares my curse, I need it now more then ever. I pray if you do one thing for me, let this be it, I don't want to share it alone.

[Sean]

Thank you, thank you for the so far wonderful day, and the bright shiny sun. Thank you for the feeling of energy that passed through me as I meditated last night, it was unbelivable. Thank you for guiding my hand to a place of learning, a place where I can freely come and go and ask questions. Thank you for so very much, all my faults feel like they have been washed away.

[Sean]

Thanks for your help once again, my mind is getting clearer with each passing day. I've come to seek wisdom, I need work, and as much as my body can handle. Guide me to where I need to be, somewhere where I can enjoy and respect the environment in which im in. Thanks for speaking thru me, and guiding my mind to help me become a better me. Sweet dreams + dance's.

[Sean]

So, as usual, life has provided me with a flury of options, none relating to work as of yet. Where to begin, my heart lies in calgary still, and I wish I was there, but we both know thats not an option. Kelowna is filled with family. Naniamo is where kc lives, and i desire to get to know her better. Phillipines is where grace is hidining these days, but travel is expensive, thou I wish to see her more then anything in the world. No matter wether I stay or go, I have a place to live, food in my stomach, and water to drink, what more could I need? Well work is the only true issue im facing, but relocation is on my mind. I need managment skills in my finicial life, I need wisdom to find out where I could serve you best, and learn more about you. Help me make the right decision for once, im tired of ruining my life with poor choices.

[Sean]

It has been far to long scince I have been back to this place, and I fear my mind is growing dark and jaded. I have not lost hope, I still dream everywaking moment of my life away, but it becomes tainted. I don't know how to explain it. I need someone to hold my hand and walk with me, I cannot do this alone. For once in my life I need help, and I can admit it. I fear the worst if I have to walk this life alone. I know you're there, looking upon me, apart of me, and maybe that's enough, only time will tell, and only fate can see my path.