To everyone who may be thinking of me

[RubyRose]

... I thought I'd post this little update.

My husband and I have have separated. At this stage I don't know if it's a perminent separation or not. Things had been building for a while, and took a turn for the worst in early November, when I started falling apart, due to grief issues over the loss of my mum and trying to cope day to day with life and 3 children all under the age of 3. Not easy let me tell you. Depression took over, and things got out of control. Rhyce took our two eldest kids, Xander and Lily and ran to his mum's. I stayed momentarily at our house, before contacting the police, my grandmother and father.

I got Xander and Lily back by way of a court case on the 8th. I now have a court order that says the kids are to reside with me and Rhyce has up to 3 hours a day access.

We've since been evicted from our rental, and from the little I know our things are being stored at Rhyce's uncles house which is currently vacant. I don't know if this means that Rhyce will be moving in there or not. He's currently biding his time at his mum's.

We also have agreed to attend counselling and parenting courses. I maintain that our relationship and other issues can be sorted out with time and counselling. Rhyce is still court up in the fact that I took his kids away. When in actual fact that wasn't exactly what I was doing. He admitted to me he wanted a break. So he can have his time out without having to bother about the kids. Maybe he'll get sick of not having his wife and kids around, and maybe he won't. I don't know. I'm hoping he'll realise all that he stands to loose and I hope that we can repair what's broken. I do know that all the fault does not lie solely with me, but as people keep telling me, if he's not willing to change then all the hope and desperation on my part means nothing.

Maybe all Rhyce was ever cut out for was a relationship without any responsibility.

The last I heard from him was Boxing Day morning, when he dropped the kids back.

Anyway, all my commitments here, may have to take a step back for a little while longer. I'll see. I've finally got a moment where all three kids are settled and quiet and I can relax without worrying about what they're getting into.

Bendithion,
RubyRose

[Philosophia]

:hugz: I've been thinking about you a lot lately and was hoping things are okay. Hopefully, things will get better but both parties have to be involved. :hugz:

[halfwaynowhere]

Glad to hear an update, I've been keeping you in my thoughts.

[Kaylara]

*hugs* People rarely change hon, and from the years that I've been watching this going on, it seems like he's acting completely in character. You need to do what's best for those children and you. I hope that it works out for the best.

[Raxeph]

Dear me. :( :hugz:

[Bettie]

I'm so sorry to hear you're having a rough time, hon. I hope the coming new year brings a peaceful resolution for all involved. :hugz:

[WitchOfEndor]

:hugz: I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope things work for the best for you & the kids :hugz:

[Jolixte]

*hugs*

[Happydeadkitty]

I hope everything turns out for the best. *hugs*

HDK

[Arianne Weaver]

Hugs!
Hope it turns out for the best. Things do, but it's not easy when we're going through it.

A thought:
As the earth grows colder,
the winds blow faster,
the fire dwindles smaller,
and the rains fall harder,
let the light of the sun
find its way home.

From Patti Wigginton at About.com

[Glowy]

Just keep your energy up. You have you and your little ones to worry about. ((hugs)) I hope the NY brings you comfort and peace.

[Earthy]

Oh sweetie, i am so sorry to hear this.I will keep you and the little ones in my thoughts and prayers :hugz:

[RubyRose]

Thanks. It's kind of silly. In a way, mostly I just wish my mum was still around. I don't mean that this is what she wanted to happen, but she knew more about my situation with Rhyce than I ever knew. She saw the bigger picture so to speak.

So far, he's clinging to me, for sexual contact, and phoned last night because he was bored. Myself, the kids and my dad were all asleep at 10:30pm when he rang, my mobile was in the kitchen.

Ah we'll see ... we're not divorced yet, and can't be until around this time next year. Which is fine by me. I know he wants me. I know his parents don't want me in their son's life. Only it's not up to them to fight Rhyce's battles. He'll learn that soon enough.

Anyway, I have a house to clean up and no kids. So I'd best get to the vacuuming and moping while I can.

[Willow Rosette]

RR You have been in my thoughts lately. Im sorry you are going through this but I hope this seperation brings you all to a better place in your lives weather it is together or apart. I will keep you and your babies in my prayers. :hugz:

[evergreen]

I'm sorry you've been having such a tough time recently. :hugz: I'm sure everything will come together with time.

[Bettie]

So far, he's clinging to me, for sexual contact, and phoned last night because he was bored. Myself, the kids and my dad were all asleep at 10:30pm when he rang, my mobile was in the kitchen.

.


Okay, this ^^^ strikes me as grossly unfair. He's not living with you and helping you out with your kids, yet he's happy to call when he's bored, despite it being late at night, and also when he wants sex?!?! Why are you letting him get away with this immature behaviour? He is not acting like a proper husband or father, so why should he get the benefits?

Please, I know it's hard, but stand up for yourself, if not your kids. There is no incentive for him to change his ways at the moment, he is probably getting coddled by living with his mum, and yet still has sex on tap when he wants it. You guys have babies, and yet he is still calling you at 10:30 at night? WTF is he thinking?

[Cloaked Raven]

:hugz: I'll keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Lots of love to you. :hugz:

[WulfcwenStar]

So sorry you are going through this I will keep you in my thoughts and will send positive energy your way.
I hope the coming year will be better for you.

[RubyRose]

Okay, this ^^^ strikes me as grossly unfair. He's not living with you and helping you out with your kids, yet he's happy to call when he's bored, despite it being late at night, and also when he wants sex?!?! Why are you letting him get away with this immature behaviour? He is not acting like a proper husband or father, so why should he get the benefits?

Please, I know it's hard, but stand up for yourself, if not your kids. There is no incentive for him to change his ways at the moment, he is probably getting coddled by living with his mum, and yet still has sex on tap when he wants it. You guys have babies, and yet he is still calling you at 10:30 at night? WTF is he thinking?

I didn't say I was allowing sexual contact, just that he knows that at this point in time, he can't have anybody else. I believe despite his lack of tact that he doesn't want anybody else. His mother would gladly see him with somebody else, anybody else other than me and is trying to persuade him thus.

As for him ringing at 10:30pm at night. I never answered, never even heard my mobile phone. He's always been a night owl, and a late riser. That's part of our problems now. The fact that at 10pm when I retired to bed, he never wanted to come with me. Of course currently non of our marriage issues and relationship issues are his fault. It's all on me, but I'm not all too blame. Rhyce isn't all to blame either. But he's not willing to take on his share of the blame.

And has all but admitted that he can't take care of 3 kids on his own, for say 3 hours, in his mother's house, where he's currently staying. His parents are currently away for several days.

Yet, I at my dad's. Take sole responsibility for the kids on a day to day basis. My dad and I have an arrangement, where by he does dinner for us, and takes care of the laundry. Sure, I now have a dishwasher at my disposal and a bigger house. It's not mine though, and the majority of my personal belongings are in storage somewhere. Could be at a place Rhyce's uncle owns or it could be Rhyce's parents garage. I don't know. Everything I own basically is now in the control of my husband. All because I have hold of the majority of our money. Rhyce is unemployed, and I don't want to sacrifice money for him to amuse himself when we have bills...

[DreamSpell333]

:hugz:

You will be in my thoughts RR. I hope things get better for you and your babies.
More :hugz: Good to hear from you also!! :)