Murder & Turning the Other Cheek

[Cunae]

There was a post a while ago about the concept of "turning the other cheek" as expressed by Christ. I think I have an example of that concept.

Last year in February, a really dear friend to me was murdered in his home. It was my first experience with being the survivor of a murder victim... it's terrible. All I could think about was the police finding who did it and seeing him punished (it's a capital offense case) I just wanted to confront him and say "You are going to die for this!" Not a terribly Christian thing to do.

He was caught two days ago. It turned out to be a former business partner and someone I never met. After time my heart has softened... I was so happy, then sad, then I felt something strange... a need to pray for this poor guy that he makes peace with himself and with God.

I think that might be an example of turning the other cheek. I am not bitter toward him and I am willing to pray for his soul, BUT he must still face the legal consequences for killing my friend.

Forgiveness, by God or by anyone else, does not mean we don't still face the consequences of our behavior. But I cannot hold hatred in my heart toward this man.

[Amilee]

:hugz: I truely don't know what to say but that I'm sorry you lost your friend and I'm glad that justice is done. :hugz:

I wish I were as loving and kind as you are.

[Cloaked Raven]

They caught him??? OMGs!! I remember you talking about this, and how awful I felt for you and the rest of his loved ones. It happened around the time I was talking about Karrisa Boudreau's murder, didn't it??

Gods, MC... I admire you, for I could not forgive anyone who took the life of someone I cared about at all. You're so much stronger than I could ever think of being.

:hugz: and lots of love to you, my dear, dear friend.

[Cunae]

Yes, Cloaky, my friend Steven. I really thought the case would go cold because there hadn't even been a "person of interest."

Thanks for the compliments about my ability to forgive the killer. It's only because of Christ that I can look beyond the crime toward the human frailty that caused it. He deserves all of the credit!

And, of course, if the victim had been my child, sibling or parent... I might not get to this place as quickly, maybe not at all. I don't know.

[Cloaked Raven]

You're very welcome.

I'm so glad the police have made an arrest finally... Better now than never.

May justice for Steven finally be served.

[Phoenix Blue]

Forgiveness, by God or by anyone else, does not mean we don't still face the consequences of our behavior. But I cannot hold hatred in my heart toward this man.
And that, in my experience, is what Christ himself was all about. :smile:

[Bettie]

Forgiveness, by God or by anyone else, does not mean we don't still face the consequences of our behavior. But I cannot hold hatred in my heart toward this man.


This ^^...it truly amazes me that people are able to feel this way. I can't even begin to understand how this is even possible. Why can't you feel hatred for this man? He took away someone who was dear to you, how can you even begin to think of forgiving him?

No matter what 'human frailty' caused this crime, the murderer did something completely unforgivable, in my opinion.

[Phoenix Blue]

Why can't you feel hatred for this man? He took away someone who was dear to you, how can you even begin to think of forgiving him?
I think I can answer this one, if I may: because hating someone, and not forgiving him, won't undo what's done. *soft smile* One of my uncles was murdered a few years ago by a stranger for whom he'd done a good deed. Hating the man who committed the murder, though, won't bring my uncle back ... and that hatred then becomes a burden that I have to carry. Put differently, hating someone else gives them power over me that they don't deserve to have.

Forgiveness doesn't mean absolution -- it doesn't mean the killer gets a free ticket from the consequences of his actions. It means I leave those consequences in the hands of someone else, or the Universe itself, to carry out.

[Bettie]

I think I can answer this one, if I may: because hating someone, and not forgiving him, won't undo what's done. *soft smile* One of my uncles was murdered a few years ago by a stranger for whom he'd done a good deed. Hating the man who committed the murder, though, won't bring my uncle back ... and that hatred then becomes a burden that I have to carry. Put differently, hating someone else gives them power over me that they don't deserve to have.

Forgiveness doesn't mean absolution -- it doesn't mean the killer gets a free ticket from the consequences of his actions. It means I leave those consequences in the hands of someone else, or the Universe itself, to carry out.

I am so sorry you lost your uncle, PB, and while I do see your point, I still don't think I would be capable of forgiving the person who did it, but that's just me. Personally speaking, I don't think I'd consider the hatred to be a burden, more of an empowering force.

I admire those of you who are able to see it differently, however. :)

[Phoenix Blue]

speaking, I don't think I'd consider the hatred to be a burden, more of an empowering force.
Oh, it can be that sometimes, too. ;) And for me, I think part of it depends on whether I think justice will be done. For some situations, there's the justice system. For everything else ... well, people really shouldn't screw around with Pagans. :devil:

[Lahmi]

I'm certainly glad that you have come to a place of peace about it MC.

[gillian_greenleaf]

... that hatred then becomes a burden that I have to carry. Put differently, hating someone else gives them power over me that they don't deserve to have.

Forgiveness doesn't mean absolution -- it doesn't mean the killer gets a free ticket from the consequences of his actions. It means I leave those consequences in the hands of someone else, or the Universe itself, to carry out.

I think you are very wise, Phoenix Blue, and intellectually I understand this, but I'm not sure I would be able to set it aside.

Mystic Christian, I'm happy for you that your friend's murder has been solved, and even happier that you are able to move forward without hatred. You are a good person, much better than I.

[Cunae]

Again, give the credit to Christ who taught me all about understanding and forgiveness. I surprised myself, actually. When it first happened, I was in shock and then rage at such a cowardly act. Steven was in leg casts at the time, so totally unable to defend himself. Kevin Allen, the man who killed him, shot him point blank in the chest when Steven answered the door.

The kicker: Allen was mad at Steven over some doors he had been contracted to enstall, ie $400 worth of damages.

I will be attending the trial when it starts, probably in the fall, unless Allen pleads out to second degree or manslaughter. Even that I will accept. I just want him to confess (in fuller detail than he has already) and find himself and God while he's in prison... before he dies. I really want Steven to be able to hug him and welcome him into the next realm... as strange as that might sound.