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iceskater12
January 11th, 2009, 11:24 AM
Recently I have been talking to my cousin, let's call her Sarah.

Sarah for the past couple of months has been talking about how her dad has been physically abusing her for her whole life. I waited with telling because I wanted to give her the chance too.

A couple of nights ago when I was talking to her about telling she was saying some things that scared me. He'd left marks, it was worse when she cried, her mom saw but did nothing.

Then when I talked to her about telling she told me:

"I'm not going to ever tell. It's god's plan. It's his will for me to become stronger and tougher so I can accomplish my dream."

Sarah kept telling me it was just god's way of putting an obstacle in her course.

Now I don't know anything about Christianity because I was adopted into a pagan/wiccan family but surely this can't be true?

The problem is when I told my mother, she talked to a lawyer and came back with bad news. The story is too watered down. If I was over 18 I could tell and have a case but I'm only 16 so me telling an adult to tell means they can't do anything. Sarah has to be the one to tell an adult.

I have to somehow convince her to tell and that it's not god's or Jesus will but I know nothing about Jesus or god.

I was hoping somebody would be able to give advice?

I'm posting this here because I don't know if anyone else will know.

Aranel
January 11th, 2009, 11:41 AM
Having been brought up in a christian family I have some experience with "God's Will". Christians use it to excuse a lot o the bad things that happen. The conclusion I have personally reached is that you need to talk to her openly about why she believes it is God's Will. You then you need to explain that God is not the only force at work in the world.

Put it in terms that she would understand as a christian. Tell her that there is evil in the world and free will allows this evil in. Let her know that what is happening to her is not something any devine being woul condone. Support her and offer to go with her to someone in authority. If she is uncomortable going to the police etc. then try to get her to go to someone she trusts in her church. They should be able to explain about God's Will and how God would not ask anyone to go through what she has been.

Good luck and Blessings to you and your cousin

aluokaloo
January 11th, 2009, 11:41 AM
its not the will of any god thats just a pathetic excuse, (not from your cousin mind you but just in general that people use to wave away the reason bad things happen and/or to oppress others) though if you call the cops on him you can certainly use the same excuse if she asks why you did so.

Rudas Starblaze
January 11th, 2009, 11:42 AM
simple questions to ask her.

"how do you know its not god's will that you are supposed to make a stand for yourself?"

and...

"if god has put this obsticle out there in front of you, how can you ever overcome it if you do nothing about it?"

if that doesnt open her eyes, nothing will.

aluokaloo
January 11th, 2009, 11:45 AM
simple questions to ask her.

"how do you know its not god's will that you are supposed to make a stand for yourself?"

and...

"if god has put this obsticle out there in front of you, how can you ever overcome it if you do nothing about it?"

if that doesnt open her eyes, nothing will.

thats true you can remind her that god helps those who help themselves.

iceskater12
January 11th, 2009, 11:47 AM
The problem talking to her about it is that I won't see her until Easter, as she lives a state away. I IM her.

I told her she could talk to a priest about it, but her response was that she doesn't know him very well. I suggested that might make it easier and he wouldn't judge her. But then she went quiet so I changed the topic, as I want her to be able to talk to me about it.

As for the obstacle, her theory is that it toughens her and makes her strong enough to accomplish her dream. It's been going on her whole life so she knows no other way.

But lately it's been getting worse (such as choking) and I'm worried that she could get really hurt, and Easter is far away.

Another thing I forgot to mention is that Sarah is only 13.

aluokaloo
January 11th, 2009, 11:48 AM
The problem talking to her about it is that I won't see her until Easter, as she lives a state away. I IM her.

I told her she could talk to a priest about it, but her response was that she doesn't know him very well. I suggested that might make it easier and he wouldn't judge her.

As for the obstacle, her theory is that it toughens her and makes her strong enough to accomplish her dream. It's been going on her whole life so she knows no other way.

But lately it's been getting worse (such as choking) and I'm worried that she could get really hurt, and Easter is far away.

Another thing I forgot to mention is that Sarah is only 13.

again i say call the authorities on the man. if its getting to that level he may kill her at some point.

Aranel
January 11th, 2009, 11:51 AM
I know that you said you are too young to do anything but are you sure?? Especially as she has confided in you. I think you need to go to the authorities in her area, I'm sure there is a number for the local police somewhere. It is serious enough for the police to have to do something no matter how old the person reporting the crime.

iceskater12
January 11th, 2009, 11:53 AM
again i say call the authorities on the man. if its getting to that level he may kill her at some point.

The problem is that I can't. I contacted Social Services over there and they told me that since I was under 18 I couldn't file a claim, even though I have proof as I print out all of our conversations. So I told my mom and got her to call and they told her that the story is to "watered down" and that the only way they can help is if Sarah tells or wait until I'm over 18. Other than that unless I see her being physically hurt in person there's nothing the authorities can do.

She's so stubborn too, she's immune because it's been going on her whole life. Plus she still loves him, and is very defensive. She laughs about it when she tells me and just refers to her dad as "a little harsh"

I just don't know what to do.

Cloaked Raven
January 11th, 2009, 11:55 AM
I agree with my fellow MWers.... Explain things to her so she understands that God is LOVE and being abused is wrong, despite what anyone else tells her.

I hope she talks to someone over 18 so it can be reported... Her father is breaking the law and using his religion to justify it. Which is wrong.

Best of luck. :hugz:

aluokaloo
January 11th, 2009, 11:58 AM
The problem is that I can't. I contacted Social Services over there and they told me that since I was under 18 I couldn't file a claim, even though I have proof as I print out all of our conversations. So I told my mom and got her to call and they told her that the story is to "watered down" and that the only way they can help is if Sarah tells or wait until I'm over 18. Other than that unless I see her being physically hurt in person there's nothing the authorities can do.

She's so stubborn too, she's immune because it's been going on her whole life. Plus she still loves him, and is very defensive. She laughs about it when she tells me and just refers to her dad as "a little harsh"

I just don't know what to do.

social services and cps in this country is such a pathetic joke. they are obligated to at least go out and investigate claims especiaslly if your mother called them and if a child tells them about abuse how the hell are they supposed to ignore it? disgusting lazy bums.

iceskater12
January 11th, 2009, 12:00 PM
I agree with my fellow MWers.... Explain things to her so she understands that God is LOVE and being abused is wrong, despite what anyone else tells her.

I hope she talks to someone over 18 so it can be reported... Her father is breaking the law and using his religion to justify it. Which is wrong.

Best of luck. :hugz:

Thank you.

It makes me feel a little better to know that the god she speaks of really isn't like that.

She's the sweetest thing. Just really tough, she's wanted to be a professional soccer player her whole life and she's very good. That's how the physical abuse started, her dad pushing her to be better using force.

I also worry because she has a brother my age and I don't know if any of this ever happens to him. We aren't really that close.

iceskater12
January 11th, 2009, 12:04 PM
social services and cps in this country is such a pathetic joke. they are obligated to at least go out and investigate claims especiaslly if your mother called them and if a child tells them about abuse how the hell are they supposed to ignore it? disgusting lazy bums.


I completely agree. I had a screaming, crying, and shouting fit when I found out there was nothing we could do but wait. I beat up a wall in frusteration, but then my mom gently reminded me that that wouldn't help.

She said I just need to be there for her to get support from as best as I could. She mentioned to make sure she knew it wasn't God's will and to recommend that maybe my mom or dad would be a good person to talk to about it when we get there, in April.......

It's like one of those nightmare's where someone you love gets shot but you can't move and when you scream nothing comes out.

Cloaked Raven
January 11th, 2009, 12:09 PM
*FORUM GUIDE MODE*

Since this topic is more under the umbrella of non Witchcraft Christianity, I hereby move this thread to Abrahamic Faiths Forum.

Rudas Starblaze
January 11th, 2009, 12:20 PM
The problem talking to her about it is that I won't see her until Easter, as she lives a state away. I IM her.

I told her she could talk to a priest about it, but her response was that she doesn't know him very well. I suggested that might make it easier and he wouldn't judge her. But then she went quiet so I changed the topic, as I want her to be able to talk to me about it.

As for the obstacle, her theory is that it toughens her and makes her strong enough to accomplish her dream. It's been going on her whole life so she knows no other way.

But lately it's been getting worse (such as choking) and I'm worried that she could get really hurt, and Easter is far away.

Another thing I forgot to mention is that Sarah is only 13.

unless her dream is to be a UFC fighter or to marry an abusive asshole... doing nothing to overcome the "obsticle" will destroy her dreams.

obsticles are place before people just for the reason to find ways to overcome them. and sucking it up and taking it is NOT overcoming them. it is, in fact, called being beaten down by them.

iceskater12
January 11th, 2009, 04:16 PM
unless her dream is to be a UFC fighter or to marry an abusive asshole... doing nothing to overcome the "obsticle" will destroy her dreams.

obsticles are place before people just for the reason to find ways to overcome them. and sucking it up and taking it is NOT overcoming them. it is, in fact, called being beaten down by them.


She thinks its god's way of making her tougher, to make her stronger to accomplish her dream.

I want to try to get her to tell, but I don't want to scare her or preassure her because then she might stop talking about it all together.

Cunae
January 11th, 2009, 05:10 PM
This poor girl has some pretty twisted thinking about God's will and how this is going to help her accomplish some kind of dream. On what information does she base all of that? Is her mother feeding her this stuff? Is it the priest? I don't hear anything at all Godly in what she's saying.

God's will has nothing to do with child abuse. God's will is that we have the freedom to make choices. To accept Him or not. It's not about getting pounded on by an adult.

I would tell her Christ is the only sacrificial lamb we needed. Allowing someone to beat on her is AGAINST God's will. Satan (she'll know who that is) has her completely twisted about the whole thing... that's Satan's will!

Evil/sick people do evil/sick things and she has to get help for [1] herself, [2] for anyone else he has or might yet abuse, and [3] for the guy himself. That's what God would want her to do.

Side note: I see bad things happening to this girl... like her running away at some point and ending up on the streets.

Brightshores
January 11th, 2009, 11:28 PM
People who are being abused use all sorts of things, including religion, to rationalize and to find a way to continue to survive. It's sad but not surprising.

Blessings to you and to your cousin.. I do hope she finds the strength to stand up for herself.

Caitlin.ann
January 11th, 2009, 11:46 PM
And it will be "Gods will" that he take her up to be with him in heaven before she's 15 I bet.

Louisvillian
January 12th, 2009, 02:22 AM
Yup. I know this is kinda snarky, but eh.
Upon seeing the title of the thread, I just HAD to post this. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k97ApJiJD9c

cydira
January 12th, 2009, 10:11 PM
Recently I have been talking to my cousin, let's call her Sarah.

Sarah for the past couple of months has been talking about how her dad has been physically abusing her for her whole life. I waited with telling because I wanted to give her the chance too.

A couple of nights ago when I was talking to her about telling she was saying some things that scared me. He'd left marks, it was worse when she cried, her mom saw but did nothing.

Then when I talked to her about telling she told me:

"I'm not going to ever tell. It's god's plan. It's his will for me to become stronger and tougher so I can accomplish my dream."

Sarah kept telling me it was just god's way of putting an obstacle in her course.

Now I don't know anything about Christianity because I was adopted into a pagan/wiccan family but surely this can't be true?

The problem is when I told my mother, she talked to a lawyer and came back with bad news. The story is too watered down. If I was over 18 I could tell and have a case but I'm only 16 so me telling an adult to tell means they can't do anything. Sarah has to be the one to tell an adult.

I have to somehow convince her to tell and that it's not god's or Jesus will but I know nothing about Jesus or god.

I was hoping somebody would be able to give advice?

I'm posting this here because I don't know if anyone else will know.

The best thing you can do for your cousin right now is be a supportive listener. Distance and it seems the law is not allowing you to assist, which is tragic (and in the case of the law, offensive to put it mildly).

Now, this said, it sounds like your cousin is not only being physically abused but also psychologically abused. Many people who are abusers, especially child abusers, will tell their victims just about anything to make them believe that they have no right to object to their abuse. It's disgustingly common to see the victims being conditioned to blame themselves or to believe that it is right (in this case the argument that it is 'God's Will' is a version of stating it is proper and correct for the abuse to be happening).

I, like you, come from a family that is of a more... pagan persuasion. My education regarding Judeo-Christian thought has come in adulthood and is more of an academic stance. I do have a bit of understanding of how several Christian mystics viewed this matter and some of how St. Augustine (who seems to be the founder of a large percentage of Christian thought on an enormous amount of things in life) viewed this.

First point to make is that any person presuming to know that something is God's will is committing heresy and, I believe, that is a sin (or a crime against God). I'd add more but some family stuff just came up. I'll be posting a little more in a moment.

iceskater12
January 12th, 2009, 11:06 PM
This situation just gets more frusterating and frusterating.

Today I sought the help of my school counsler, who I frequently see and trust. When I told her of the situation she just nodded, and said she needed to consult with someone of higher status.

I thought that meant help is on the way.

Wrong, according to her supervisor, although they would love to protect every kid out there that's getting abused, since she's not a student at my school, it's not their problem.

I'm trying to get the numbers and information but I kind of have to sneak around my mom, who is afraid to confront her sister and thinks we should wait.

I have been waiting for months, and I'm ready to do something.
If anyone has any resources, I know nothing about what to do and any links would be apperciated.

Also for people who have commented my reputation on saying my cousin is stupid and should be a pro wrestler, I find that deeply disrespectful to a girl, a child, who is confused and in pain.

Dr. K
January 12th, 2009, 11:35 PM
Are you by chance able to tell your parents or someone in your family who may be able to do more about the situation?

I don't know if someone has already suggested this or not.

You could also tell her that God (in the Christian faith) is a kind and loving God and would not put his on her, but instead that Satan is often to blame for the wickedness in bad peoples hearts and that she should tell someone because this would not be in any Good Gods plan for any child.

iceskater12
January 12th, 2009, 11:49 PM
Okay, I did it.

I called and filed a report.

Over in her state it doesn't matter how old you are, you can file a claim.

They have to get over there within 24 hours.

I'm still shaking.

Now I'm worried though, I want her to get out of there....

I'm starting to regret it though... I did the right thing....why does it feel like the wrong choice?

Her life is going to be torn apart now.......What if she hates me?

Here's a link to hugs and energy for me and her: http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?p=3830104#post3830104

Shawn Blackwolf
January 13th, 2009, 12:04 AM
Whatever happens now...I am proud of you !

You have done well...and it was in your heart , and soul , to do so !


Hugz !



Okay, I did it.

I called and filed a report.

Over in her state it doesn't matter how old you are, you can file a claim.

They have to get over there within 24 hours.

I'm still shaking.

Now I'm worried though, I want her to get out of there....

I'm starting to regret it though... I did the right thing....why does it feel like the wrong choice?

Her life is going to be torn apart now.......What if she hates me?

Here's a link to hugs and energy for me and her: http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?p=3830104#post3830104

Dr. K
January 13th, 2009, 12:10 AM
Okay, I did it.

I called and filed a report.

Over in her state it doesn't matter how old you are, you can file a claim.

They have to get over there within 24 hours.

I'm still shaking.

Now I'm worried though, I want her to get out of there....

I'm starting to regret it though... I did the right thing....why does it feel like the wrong choice?

Her life is going to be torn apart now.......What if she hates me?

Here's a link to hugs and energy for me and her: http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?p=3830104#post3830104

Good Job, and if she is mad at you for a while trust me she will thank you in the long run if the abuse stops!

Glowy
January 13th, 2009, 12:11 AM
I have been reading this from day one.. I just was so angry.. I could not post. You did the right thing!

Abuse is never OK.

iceskater12
January 13th, 2009, 12:12 AM
I hope so....

I'm just worried. I'm probably the only person she's told (as I'm the only one around here who could keep this a secret for so long) so she'll know it's me.

Since I've met her, she's always been able to tell me anything, I don't want that to change.

Also it's a bit awkward because I'm adopted as of two years ago and I don't want to be known as the weird adopted one (I already am that) who ruined our family.

Shawn Blackwolf
January 13th, 2009, 12:18 AM
You can stand strong , and look anyone in the face , and say :

"I did NOT ruin a family ! I pulled the rug out from under family abuse , and showed the skeletons in the closet ! Dammit !"

Aranel
January 13th, 2009, 07:17 AM
Don't let yourself worry now, you have done the right thing and I am glad someone has finally stepped up to the mark and is going to do something... Both you and your cousin will be in my thoughts.

Cloaked Raven
January 13th, 2009, 11:18 AM
Agreeing with everyone else. You did the RIGHT thing here, iceskater!! What her father was doing to her was AGAINST THE LAW and she deserves to live a happy, healthy and abuse free life!!!

Don't ever regret doing the right thing... And trust me, reporting it to the authorities IS the right thing. Too many times abuse doesn't get reported because the victim is too scared to report it or others don't want to get involved...Your cousin needs help and getting it for her, I admire that.

Blessings to you for having the courage, the determination, the love for your cousin to help her. Give us an update when you can.

:hugz:

Lunacie
January 13th, 2009, 11:37 AM
Surviving the trauma of seeing her father made responsible for the "evil" he has been doing is also going to make your cousin stronger, eh? Anything we survive makes us stronger. But real strength comes in taking action, not in merely being passive. I too believe you did the right thing. She may well blame you for a time, but be reassured that the blame rests squarely on the shoulders of her father.

cydira
January 13th, 2009, 12:45 PM
I hope so....

I'm just worried. I'm probably the only person she's told (as I'm the only one around here who could keep this a secret for so long) so she'll know it's me.

Since I've met her, she's always been able to tell me anything, I don't want that to change.


Give your cousin some time. She's going to be upset for a little while because she's going to feel like her world is being torn apart. As time passes, however, she's going to realize that in trusting you with her secret, she was asking for your help. And she'll appreciate what you've done and the risks that you've taken to help her.



Also it's a bit awkward because I'm adopted as of two years ago and I don't want to be known as the weird adopted one (I already am that) who ruined our family.

Pardon my language, but to hell with all of that. First off, adoption makes the person who has been adopted no less the child of their parents then being born by them. Any person, *ANY* person who insists otherwise is a bigoted moron and they need to get their head removed by a proctologist from where they stuffed it. The ties of family are as much of the heart as they are of blood, if not more so and it infuriates me beyond my ability to adequately express it with out using a great deal of profanity when people choose to denigrate those emotional ties.

Part of my reaction on this front is the fact that I come from a family where there is a history of rather graphic child abuse on one side and everyone is expected to keep the secret. I have seen the damage those secrets cause and I have seen the damage done with people who decide that a family member is 'weird' and not welcome because they're step-children, adopted, or born from a second marriage. That kind of behavior is abusive and disgusting, especially in adults.

Part of my rather visceral rage in response to this prospect is that you may have just saved your cousin's life and people attempting to punish you for it because of their discomfort with reality is much like the response that I've received when turning to my family for support in the face of abuse that I had suffered. It's wrong and it's just as abusive as telling the adopted child that they're not really family because they weren't born of the same genetic stock. Iceskater, I sincerely hope that you find that there is people who are capable of supporting and comforting you in the challenges coming up as a result of your doing the right thing and the difficulties that others have with it.

You've acted with great courage and compassion. You should be commended, not punished, for what you have done. Just as many others have already stated, I am proud of you and I salute you for your efforts to help your cousin.

iceskater12
January 13th, 2009, 07:26 PM
Well, I just talked to her, trying to make her see some of the points that were made here.

I told her that if she loved her dad she would help him, and herself.

I told her that it takes a strong person to suffer through that but an even stronger person to overcome it.

I tried to get her to promise me that if god sent her help she would accept it, but that led to yelling. Such as:

Me and my dad don't need no help! We r perfectly fine!
I'll get through it!
They don't need to know!!
How would they suspect that I was being abused??

But then I told her: sometimes the hard thing and the right thing are the same. I know ur not a liar, and that if authorities ask you you would tell them the truth.

She responded that:
She's not a liar and no authority figures would ask that question (just wait a couple hours....)

I trust that she won't lie, or at least I hope she won't.
As for me talking her about not lying, it's going to be pretty obvious that it was me who sent for help. So she'll probably hate me for awhile.

My mom is no longer mad because my dad was telling her that I did what I felt I needed to do. Since Sarah entrusted me with that information I could decide what to do with it.

It's just going to get harder from here, child services will (by law) be there before 9:00

I'll try and keep you posted.

Lunacie
January 13th, 2009, 08:09 PM
Well, I just talked to her, trying to make her see some of the points that were made here.

I told her that if she loved her dad she would help him, and herself.

I told her that it takes a strong person to suffer through that but an even stronger person to overcome it.

I tried to get her to promise me that if god sent her help she would accept it, but that led to yelling. Such as:

Me and my dad don't need no help! We r perfectly fine!
I'll get through it!
They don't need to know!!
How would they suspect that I was being abused??

But then I told her: sometimes the hard thing and the right thing are the same. I know ur not a liar, and that if authorities ask you you would tell them the truth.

She responded that:
She's not a liar and no authority figures would ask that question (just wait a couple hours....)

I trust that she won't lie, or at least I hope she won't.
As for me talking her about not lying, it's going to be pretty obvious that it was me who sent for help. So she'll probably hate me for awhile.

My mom is no longer mad because my dad was telling her that I did what I felt I needed to do. Since Sarah entrusted me with that information I could decide what to do with it.

It's just going to get harder from here, child services will (by law) be there before 9:00

I'll try and keep you posted.

I am lighting a candle and sending energies for the best outcome possible for your cousin and her family. This is going to be difficult for all of them. If she gets mad at you, please understand that her whole world is being turned upside down and stay open so she will still know she can talk to you about things, ok? Bless you and hugs for you. :hugz:

iceskater12
January 13th, 2009, 09:45 PM
I'm also lighting a candle and trying to be as positive as I can. I'm trying to prepare myself for the fact that she's not going to like that I told, or see it as a favor or help.

Thank you. :hugz:

Lahmi
January 13th, 2009, 11:48 PM
praying

Cloaked Raven
January 14th, 2009, 12:00 AM
Things will improve, iceskater... It may take a while but I think your cousin loves you too much to be angry with you for very long. Hang in there.

I'm keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers... I'm here if you need me. :hugz:

Caitlin.ann
January 14th, 2009, 12:01 AM
Doesn't seem like she wants help...

Lunacie
January 14th, 2009, 12:39 AM
Doesn't seem like she wants help...

People who are indoctrinated (brainwashed) to believe they deserve the abuse often don't deserve anything else, anything better. Most of them really love the person who is abusing them and don't want to see that person be punished.

For those who haven't seen this - it's a great thread - good enough to be stickied - the signs of abuse ... http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?t=145692&highlight=sticky

Cloaked Raven
January 14th, 2009, 12:48 AM
People who are indoctrinated (brainwashed) to believe they deserve the abuse often don't deserve anything else, anything better. Most of them really love the person who is abusing them and don't want to see that person be punished.

For those who haven't seen this - it's a great thread - good enough to be stickied - the signs of abuse ... http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?t=145692&highlight=sticky
That is an awesome thread Lunacie. Lots of helpful information into it.

iceskater12
January 14th, 2009, 06:32 PM
People who are indoctrinated (brainwashed) to believe they deserve the abuse often don't deserve anything else, anything better. Most of them really love the person who is abusing them and don't want to see that person be punished.

For those who haven't seen this - it's a great thread - good enough to be stickied - the signs of abuse ... http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?t=145692&highlight=sticky

I think everyone should read that thread.
The only reason I knew is because she told me, since she has I've noticed the signs since I knew her and even in pictures and family videos when she was little before I knew her. Once you know it's so easy to find. :(

It is my belief that if she didn't want help of any kind she wouldn't have talked to me about it in the first place. I secondly believe that she was just getting scared because she felt I was pressuring her and she's never heard me talk to her like that. I think I caused her to freak out and say those things. :(

Thank you for everyone's thoughts and prayers, I'm about to go call the station and check up on the case, as I am no longer allowed to be in direct contact with their family.

But everytime the phone rings I still jump. I had a nightmare last night that my uncle came to get me and Sarah was very hurt but I was unable to find her.

iceskater12
January 14th, 2009, 08:16 PM
UPDATE:

Basically checking in on a abuse claim case goes like this:

You call the number they told you to call, give names, birthdates and such.

They give you a different number which you call:

This is the local police in the area, they put you on hold for ten minutes while they look up the case supervisor's number so you call that:

This guy you get to have an actual conversation with, they look up on the computer the case and tell you who the case leader is then answer your questions by telling you that their not allowed to tell you the answer.

You call the case leader and answer a bunch of questions about your purpose of inquiring, and then give you a number to the investigator:

You call the invistagor and get her partner, who says that only said investigator can tell you about the case, but asks if you have any advice on the person. You give the advice and then he sound the farthest from optimistic and reask you if she has any current marks. Then they give you the number of the case investigator:

So you call investigator Rachel's (not actual name) number, and surprise! She's out at Sarah's house. Please call back tomorrow. Even when you do there is limited information they can give.

That was a good waste of about an hour of my life.

Lunacie
January 15th, 2009, 09:49 AM
Well, it does sound like they are looking into it. But waiting for news is sure hard, and sorry to say it's not one of those things that gets better with practice.

brigidrose
January 15th, 2009, 10:08 AM
You did do the right thing!! Most people would turn their backs out of fear.

You are her champion. She knows deep down that telling you was the right thing. She might not show it now, but she and you will be ok. :)

Cassandra2
January 18th, 2009, 01:06 PM
Recently I have been talking to my cousin, let's call her Sarah.

Sarah for the past couple of months has been talking about how her dad has been physically abusing her for her whole life. I waited with telling because I wanted to give her the chance too.

A couple of nights ago when I was talking to her about telling she was saying some things that scared me. He'd left marks, it was worse when she cried, her mom saw but did nothing.

Then when I talked to her about telling she told me:

"I'm not going to ever tell. It's god's plan. It's his will for me to become stronger and tougher so I can accomplish my dream."

Sarah kept telling me it was just god's way of putting an obstacle in her course.

Now I don't know anything about Christianity because I was adopted into a pagan/wiccan family but surely this can't be true?

The problem is when I told my mother, she talked to a lawyer and came back with bad news. The story is too watered down. If I was over 18 I could tell and have a case but I'm only 16 so me telling an adult to tell means they can't do anything. Sarah has to be the one to tell an adult.

I have to somehow convince her to tell and that it's not god's or Jesus will but I know nothing about Jesus or god.

I was hoping somebody would be able to give advice?

I'm posting this here because I don't know if anyone else will know.

If you want to know what God's will is then we Christians read it in the bible for sure. Your friend has fallen prey to the Sylvia Browne New Age syndrome. This is where we are told by Sylvia on TV that the holocaust was something the Jews chose. So I guess it was all right.
They think that because Jesus suffered then we should go and suffer.
Your friend is making an excuse because she cannot face foster care.
Your mother's lawyer is crazy. Go to school. Go directly to the guidance office and tell them what you saw. They are bound by law to investigate it.
Keep telling. Tell the principal. Tell a teacher. Tell a cop.
No, dear. It is not God's will. It is the will of the devil. You see, the devil has presented himself to us as a God with crazy crap like. "This suffering is something you need. " You'll hear that nonsense everywhere.

iceskater12
January 19th, 2009, 03:27 PM
Nobody's heard anything from that part of the family this whole week, so we assume that Sarah's family cannot release information and no arrest has been made. They are probably really stressed right now.

My mom thinks it could be quite awhile before we hear anything because knowing my aunt she'll be so ashamed that she'll do almost anything to keep the rest of the family from finding out what's going on.

I'm still wondering whether or not Sarah talked to them. Waiting is so hard!

Cloaked Raven
January 19th, 2009, 03:30 PM
Nobody's heard anything from that part of the family this whole week, so we assume that Sarah's family cannot release information and no arrest has been made. They are probably really stressed right now.

My mom thinks it could be quite awhile before we hear anything because knowing my aunt she'll be so ashamed that she'll do almost anything to keep the rest of the family from finding out what's going on.

I'm still wondering whether or not Sarah talked to them. Waiting is so hard!
:hugz: Waiting is a difficult thing to do sometimes. Especially when you're worried about a loved one.

I hope you hear from that end of the family very soon. :hugz: