*Left alone & devastated*

[~NightFire~]

Basically; from today onwards my Boyfriend (of 9 months) & I are on a break for an unknown period of time. :sniffsnif
I can't go into much detail concerning why (as it's private)-but he has to go away (for a good reason) & deal with something in his life that I can't help him with.
He could be gone for 6 months, 8 months, a year, 14 months-it all depends on how well he deals with it.
During the time that he's away I can't contact him-he has to contact me first, by texting or ringing me, which might only be once a month-if that.
We love each other very much, & we plan on being together again when he comes back. I've never been in love with anyone before so everything in this relationship has been new to me-& I've certainly never had to face dealing with something like this before.
He explained it all to me yesterday, & I went through being shocked, angry, upset & in denial, & then accepting it but still being devastated. :wah:
Now I'm faced with months of being alone-not knowing when he'll text or call me-but having to carry on with my life regardless.
I suffer from O.C.D & depression aswell (which I'm in therapy for)-which will make this even harder for me. :sadeyes:
So I was just wondering if anyone else has been through, or is going through anything like this & has any advice? Or does anybody have any advice anyway? It would be much appreciated-thanks.
At the moment I just feel like my heart has been ripped out & I'm just falling apart... :sadman:

[Glowy]

I am very sorry for the both of you, but perhaps it is best that he is off on his own, dealing with his situation. I hope you can keep in contact, and that everything works out for you both. ((Hugs))

[Carri]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I am how ever glad to hear that you are in therapy, my best suggestion to you right now is to contact your thearpist and let him/her know what you are going through as it will effect your OCD. Right now your therapist is your best resourse and maybe you could get an emergency session or even a phone conversation until you can meet with them again.

Also since this is a private matter you can be open with your therapist because they are bound by confidentially so you will get advice and help that is truly tailored for your situation.

Wishing you all the best and your boyfriend a speedy conclusion to his issue.

[FiresSong]

I'm sorry that you're having to go through this. I can't offer any advice outside of what was suggested above, so all I can say is stay strong and I'll keep you in my thoughts. You can make it!

[Childof_theMorrigan]

I think the above advice is great.. I would also add...

this time period is going to suck, there's no way around that but you can make the best of it. whatever it is that you like to do alone or with friends... go do it! often when we are with a significant other, we put aside things that are important to just us as individuals. I encourage you to go do those things... and maybe even find some other things to do that you've thought about but haven't "had the time" for whatever reason.

keep busy, take comfort in your friends and family, connect with your professionals on a regular basis and love yourself enough not to let the absence of your boyfriend disintegrate YOU.

*big hugs* to you

[Caitlin.ann]

I have OCD and used to have depression and I am also in a long distance relationship, so I can relate in a way. I know how hard it is to say goobye for sure and being separated from your partner for long periods of time. My advice? If you love him now you will still love him when he comes back. In the mean time take time out for yourself. Talk to your therapist, find hobbies to occupy your time while he's gone, delve deeper into your spirituality, anything to keep your mind off the distance and the silence. Be proactive and focus on being happy until he gets back. Its hard, but it won't be forever and it will likely make you two stronger.

[Flux]

No additional advice, just wanted to add some :hugz:

[~NightFire~]

Thanks for all of your messages of support.

I forgot to say that he's not leaving for another 3 weeks yet, & that there's a possibilty that I might be seeing him again before he leaves-or that he might just text/ring me & tell me when he's leaving/left (either way it's up to him). This makes it harder for me-because I keep looking around for him when I'm going to work/town, & I know that he's still near to me.

In reply to some specific points;

It is very good that he's dealing with it, I am happy for him, & I know that I have helped him to decide to sort himself out.

I talked to my Therapist on the phone yesterday & explained everything-which helped.

So far; I have been to my Dance class (which helped), been to work, sorted through my room, sorted out what my daily/weekly routines are going to be, & I have even began to think about what I can do each month (e.g: Driving Lessons) that will give me something to look forward to, & keep me busy.

It's just when I get time to think about the long months that are ahead of me I start getting really upset & thinking "What If...?", "I can't do this", etc...