*~Neo's Personal Altar~*

[Ne0Pagan]

**Green and brown altar cloth, Gaia statue, Spider plant, large mirror, blue wolf candle, wolf water fountain, Goddess tarot deck, Book of Shadows, and wooden offering dish**


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


*sits before his altar, and stares into his mirror, and notices the glint in his eye*

Almighty Goddess,

I come before my altar to thank you for the inspiration. I thank you for the energy given to me on the Blood Moon, as it has filled my soul with happiness, and inspiration to write my first poem. I know that this could not have happened without your help. Without you, holding me to your breast, I would not be who I am today. I now know my calling, my purpose in life. The thing that I was put on our Earth to do.

I would like to share with you my poem:

*pulls his pentacle journal out, and opens to the Dragon book mark, clears his throat, and begins to read*

It's called:

IMMANENCE

We are all children,
of an immanent mother.
And she cries to us,
cries to us,
cries to us.
She calls for our aid,
our loyalty,
our action.
And will you stand?
Will you become this void,
and stunt evolution?
Or will you stand for peace,
for our only solution?
Because only in peace do you find love.
Love is the universal energy.
Manifest it.
Hold it.
Mold it.
Change it.
Shape it.
Do not stand for a man's war with Iraq,
take your country back.
We don't want this oil war,
peace is what we're calling for.
Stand and say to Congress:
Stand back,
Don't attack,
Innocent people in Iraq.
Estrangment is our problem,
and immanence is our answer.
It is our key.
Can't you see?
Where "you" becomes "me",
and "I" becomes "we".
Stand and be,
for peace and harmony.
And now will you stand?
Now will you stand for that which is immanent.
Or will you let the bitter taste of hate settle,
upon your lips?
And after this:
Take a sip of peace, of prosperty,
and be reborn.
But even after you embrace immenence.
And you allow blood to be spilt,
upon the fertile ground,
you are corrupted.
Corruption would be your only sin.
You are then tainted by hate.
Don't you feel it?
Or are you yet to be tainted by hate?
Ask yourself:
are you still virgin to the bloodshed?
And now I will stand and say to you:
Stand for immanence,
for peace,
for harmony and love,
our only solution.
Not for war, bloodshed,
hate, estrangment,
our culture's pollution.
At least stand for yourself.
For that bright flame within you,
the spirit,
the burning passion.
Tap into that personal power,
and let it consume you.


I also come to you, and pray for healing to my grandmother. She is dying, and she is beginning to feel the curses of old age. She is weak, and has so much trouble walking. When she does go, please make it be at the right time. I want with all my heart for her to life forever, at my side, and be able to see my grow up to be a man, and for her to see my children, and their children. I want to learn more from her.
It's just not her time yet. Please, make her moments be peaceful, and filled with love. Let her know how much I love her, and how much I care for her. She's one of the only people I have to hold on to as my own, as someone who would love me no matter what.
Please, please, let her be peaceful.

Blessed Be, my love.

*kisses his fist, lays it at his heart, and walks away*

[Ne0Pagan]

**gets home from work, throws off his shirt, and sits before the altar - spends a few minutes in silence**
**he opens his eyes, and grins at himself in the mirror**


Great Goddess,

I thank you for this glorious day. Since my shower this morning, I've spent the day with a peaceful state of mind. I've gotten things accomplished, and drank chamomile tea. I wrote in my journal, and bettered relationships with two of my co-workers. I even had enough energy after work to go eat with one of my friends after work, and get to know her better. And I thank you.

What I truly need is a partner. I need someone to stand at my side. I need.... someone! I am really begining to notice this, now seeing that things with Ryan and myself are not working out.

What I am thankful for, is the clarity in recognizing my true sexuality. Bisexuality is so non-constricting. I have no rules in who I am interested in.

Just tonight, at the restuarant, one guy did catch my eye. And apparently I cought his eye. The problem was, he looked much older, and wasn't exactly approachable. And things with Ryan are definitely not working out. I am tired of him hitting on me, and then turning around and hitting on one of the girls that we work with. He sounds like one of the guys who would just use you for sex. I'm sorry, but I am looking for more than sex.

I now come before my altar, to ask for you to send the person that would fit me right now, to me. I think you know who would be best. I'm feeling a certain something towards Amber. During the Campus Green Team meeting, we would sometimes just look at one another, and smile. It was very sweet, and she gives me those butterflies in my stumoch. Perhaps I should cast for love unto myself. It feels right.

I actually wrote this other poem about Ryan:

**pulls out his pentacle journal, and opens to the metal Dragon bookmark... he clears his through and begins to read aloud**

It's called:

YOU CANNOT SEE
(edited version)

What is this?
You deny the feeling,
that feeling,
outlawed by culture.
You're weak,
you're scared,
you're just a little boy.
You cannot see it,
cannot percieve it.
That you see me.
That you see me!
Why do you turn your head,
and deny the sight?
You try to be cool,
****, you look like a fool.
But only I see the real you.
I see it at Sonic,
at Safeway,
and those silent rides home.
I see what you want.
You want it baby,
the sweat,
the passion,
my strong warm embrace.
But you still deny it,
and refuse it.
Why?
You spot desire,
and turn it down.
I'm growing impatient, frustrated, and frenzied.
I am tired of staring into the eyes of gorgeous green,
and not getting to express.
I want to express the mess,
the hot sweat,
the passion.
I want to hear your heavy breathing,
your rhythmic heartbeat racing,
as I caress your naked flesh.
I want to hear you call my name.
But do you?
You just cannot see.
Or do you want to?
Are you blinding by fear?
You're scared, little boy.

You can't see the fake flirting,
with those who don't fit the puzzle.
You waste your time,
with cheerleaders and hose,
cloaked with oil, makeup, and pantyhose.
You're blind to them.
But you're not blind to me.
We have to end this soon.
It's old, it's exhausted.
Grow up and make up your mind.
I'm not here forever.
You're so ****ing pathetic!
I won't waste my time,
you're just a little boy in a faerie rhyme.

And again, I ask for you to send my Grandmother peaceful loving energy. I plan to perform this pumpkin spell that I got through one of my groups whose purpose is specifically to send loving energy. I wrote her another letter today, and I know that will make her day.

Thank you.


Blessed Be.

**kisses his fist, lays it to his chest, and walks away**

[Ne0Pagan]

**drags himself into the room after washing his hands and face, throws off his shirt, and sits before the altar**


Great Goddess,

I thank you for the realization that I've recieved today. I am grateful for the strong connection that I have with nature. I feel so attuned with your cycles, that I am reaching a sense of inner peace. Thank you for this glorious day.

Today, I walked to work, because I wanted to walk to work. I went through the park, and I felt like I could have stayed there forever. Old ladies walking their dogs, little girls chasing seagulls, families having breakfast. It was so beautiful.

And I thank you for the connection that Ryan and I had today. For the first time, he showed me his sensitive side. He said that I had really caring eyes. And if you truly knew Ryan, then you would do what I did. "Ryan said that?" But I know that he is having trouble getting to truly know hiself. Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to accept themselves, and their sexuality. I know that it took Ryan a lot of guts to say something like that.

I pray to you to bring Ryan courage. Help him reach acceptance, and peace.

After work, I got a ride as far as the park. And I walked through it, in pitch black. And the farther I walked, and the darker it got, the more secure I felt. I felt as though I was walking through a womb. And in essence, I WAS within your dark womb. Through this experience, I walked away changed. Thank you, Mother.

I pray to you to help my Mother and I communicate better. We are having problems getting along. I wish with all my heart for us to have a perfect relationship, but of course, perfect is unreal. Please help us.

And again, I come to you, and ask for you to help my Grandmother. Please ease her pain, both physically and emotionally. Let her know that we love her.

I pray to you to help my friend Tracy. She is one of my closest friends, but she also has Marfans Syndrome, among many many other things. A few others and myself plan to use the banishing energies of Samhain, and of the New Moon, to banish her sever illness. Or, at least the pain. Please, give us strength.


I thank you for the lessons that I've learned today. And I ask for one last thing. That I have the energy to survive the night. I have much to do, and sleep is not yet a factor. *grin*

Truly, my Goddess, I am grateful.

Blessed Be.

**kisses his fist, lays it to his chest, grabs his english book, and leaves the room, refreshed**

[Ne0Pagan]

**comes in, and kneels before the altar**
**he lites some bayberry incense, and dabs his forehead with olive oil (because he doesnt have anything else)... he then stares into his own eyes through the mirror**

Great Goddess,

I come to you now, as I did not yesterday, to say thank you for the community that I felt at last night's poetry reading. It was incredible. We shared poetry, and they absolutely loved mine by the way. We talked, told stories, and laughed, all sipping tea and eating cookies.

I also want to thank you for opening my eyes. I have dabbed my forehead, my third eye, to symbolize my new gifted sight. Everytime I am outside, day or night, I find beauty. In a couple walking down the street, or when a bird is fighting for food. It's beautiful. Thank you for letting me see these things through such peaceful eyes.

And today, I wrote my third poem. I unleased my sexual energy, and manifested it into words. At first, I wanted to call it "Orgasm", but it didn't fit. So I titled it, "Sweet Ecstasy".

I'd like to share it with you.

**pulls out his pentacle journal, and opens it to the dragon bookmark**
**he clears his throat and begins to read aloud**

~Sweet Ecstasy~

You catch my eye,
out in the world,
out in the hostileworld.
We talk, we flirt,
we touch eachother's face.
Whispers, glances,
light touches to the arms.
We kiss, we hold,
and we kiss some more.
And then we say goodbye,
after sharing a moment.
Golden light.
White doves.
Sweet songs.

This night I hear a tapping,
at my window.
I open it,
and see your face.
Your golden face.
Smiling,
smiling at me.
Your foot through my window,
next your nice ass.
"I've missed you, how are you?" you ask.
And I desire.

I stare into those big green eyes,
and I am lost.
Doorways to the soul.
I see the green grass,
the trees, and the bright green frogs.
And I am in awe.
I am in awe.

You come close, wrapping your arms around me.
My forehead at your warm shoulder.
I can smell,
that strong cologne.
I can feel,
that strong embrace.
My eyes closed,
in a world of black.
Held, held, held for all eternity.
Until I am falling.
Falling,
unto the warm bed.
And I love.

The bright flame is lit,
my passion kindled,
desire sparked.
We rip off our clothes,
and drop them to the floor.
I can feel your tongue upon my lips,
sense your eyes upon my face,
feel your heat upon my chest,
hear your heavy breathing.

The trail of saliva along my neck,
the biting at my ear.
It's driving me mad,
it's feeding my passion,
my desire.
The arousing senses,
are overwhelming.
I cannot fight it.
I will be taken.
I want to be taken.
I want.
I need.

I open myself,
to your dominance.
Allow myself,
to be yours.
And I feel you.
I feel the warm power,
within my body.
It's pain,
but it's ecstasy.
Sweet ecstasy.
And I feel.

You grip my neck,
as you have your way.
My hands on your back.
Grunting in pain.
In passion you sigh,
Enclosure, your hands, hips and thighs
And you push.

You push hard,
you push harder.
And steal my V-Card.
I am taken.
Energy spiraling,
body's sighing.
Pushing, pulling.
Flowing, ebbing,
and we feel.


I inhale the smell,
of sweat,
as you lick my neck.
My mouth open,
ecstasy.
Sweet ecstasy.
The sacred dance,
of the Erotic Goddess.
Pain, ecstasy.
Pasin, ecstasy.
We feel it rising.
And we share.

Pumping faster,
pushing harder.
You're calling my name.
Calling me "yours".
Calling me your "baby".
And I can sense.
I can sense the care, the nurturing, the love.
And I know.

It's rising, I can feel it.
And it's almost near.
Almost peaked.
Dripping sweat.
Heat, heat, heat.
Your lips on my cheek.
Your waste between my legs.
And it's love.
It's nearing.
We love.
We desire.
We need.
And it's here.
We peak,
at that same moment.
For one second, the world is ours.
And together,
we birth the suns, and the stars, and the planets, and all the
animals of the world.
And we lay there,
in exhaustion.
And we lay there,
together,
held,
protected.
For all eternity.


**puts down his book*

Thank you. Thank you to the Erotic Goddess for delivering me this message, and giving me the gift of passion.

Blessed Be.

**lowers his head, kisses his fist, and lays it to his chest**
**walks away**

[Ne0Pagan]

**walks in the room, and lays his head upon the altar**
**he sits up, and stares into the mirror, a clear tear falling down his cheek**

My Great Goddess,

Today, I am asking most, for your strength. Please help me. Give me the energy and clarity of mind to be what I need to be. Lift this great rock from my shoulders. Because I am growing tired of living like this.

Ryan, still hurts me. I am tired of being played with, and then hurt. He is mine for so little time, and then he flees. And then he shows me no pity, and acts as though he doesn't care. Maybe he doesn't care. Maybe I'm just pathetic. I just don't know. Please, please, help me.

I can't even think straight anymore. I find myself spending as much time as possible in solitude. Listening to music, reading, writing poetry, and drinking coffee. Ryan's arms around me is my only medicine. I just need his love. But until he loves himself, he cannot truly love others.

Tracy. Grandma. Mom. Everyone. I love them, but I worry about them. They are in a way, my problem. I need to stop caring as much.

I just can't take any of it anymore. I want to leave so much. I just want to leave. A sharp blade across my wrist. Some white capsules, and a few sips of alcohol. It is so easy. But I need someone to save me.

Please just end the pain.

Please.

Please.

Blessed Be.

**he wipes his face, and walks away*

[Ne0Pagan]

**steps into the room, and glides to the altar**
**he grounds and centers himself, and looks at his Gaia statue**

My Great Goddess,

I'd like to thank you for the strength you've given me, in the time of my anxiety attacks. They are getting harder to fight back. When they start, I can't think straight. I shake really bad, and I lose all my morals. I don't care about our planet, I don't care about the animals, I don't care about the lower class. I don't care about anything, even though these are the things I care most about.

Writing is the only thing that can get me out of these episodes. I'm actually writing a short story right now, titled, "Erotic Whispers". It's a sexy story about myself, and Ryan. Half fact, half foe. By me writing it, I feel like I'm sharing with people something sacred. Sex IS sacred. Between male and female, male and male, or female and female. It's the universal dance. The dance of the Erotic Goddess, who lives within each of us. And after I finish writing it, and get it edited, I feel it's going to be great. As you read it, you feel something. I write with passion, and it is clearly noticed. Thank you for the inspiration to write it.

I ask for one other thing.....for Ryan. Please, help us out. Help him find himself, and better our communication. I just want him to talk to me, but over time, I get tired of being played with, then teased by the same guy. But something keeps calling me back to him. I want to be with him so much, but I know that if I want something as beautiful as love, I need to work for it. It'd be so much easier if he would just cooperate. But I am working with him. I know he's scared, and it explains why he acts the way he does at times.

But only time can help.

Oh yes, I also pray for strength for my Grandmother. Also, for Tracy's older sister who was raped. When I think about what that navy man did to her, I feel this hidden rage brewing within me. To rape someone is to defy every one of your precepts. He violated a woman's body, and now he must pay. And I will be sure of that.

Blessed Be, and thank you.


**he kisses his fist, lays it to his chest, and meditates for a few minutes**
**after he is through, he gets up, walks out of the room, and dives into his book "The Fifth Sacred Thing"**

[Ne0Pagan]

**walks into the room with brown leaves within his hands**
**he lays them around his Gaia statue, and smiles at it*

Almighty Goddess,

It has been a long few days. So much happeneing, going through highs and lows. Ryan is pushing me farther and farther away. Yesterday, it truly hurt. I dreamt that he told everyone of our relations, and said that I was pathetic, and they all laughed at me. And what I felt when I was having that dream, still lives with me. It's very odd. It's what I felt when he gave me that odd look, and rolled his eyes when I tried talking to him in front of everyone. I can still summon it without a problem.

But today, I have felt nothing towards him. I feel like I am freed from him, like he is no longer holding me down.

I finished my story, and I love it. But I think that it helped me free myself from him. I feel so much more confident, and I feel like I have more control.

And thank you for Jake, our new puppy. When I found him, I knew that I could not keep him, as our the owners of the house we are renting forbids us to have animals. But I couldn't say no to those beautiful little eyes. He's the cutest puppy I have ever seen.

As I carried him home in my jacket on that rainy day, I not only felt the body heat making my chest sweat, but I also felt the throbbing life force. I felt like I contained him, and I thank you for that.

We are trying to find a new home for him, as we did with Duchess, Squidword, and Artemis. lol I know, I'm bad. But I am doing my duty. I am making sure they have a safe and loving home.

So in all, thank you for the strength to finish my erotic story. Thank you for Jake, and thank you for giving me the strength to free myself from someone that has only pushed me down.

I know that when I come to you, It's just the same things over and over again. But they are things that are really important to me, and I thank you for listening. As you are the ultimate Mother, male, female, light, dark, you will always be here to listen. Whether I am walking to school, sipping hot chamomile tea, or meditating in the park, or sitting on the computer using a keyboard, you are always listening. And in the songs of birds, in the barks of a young pup, in complete silence, I hear you speak back to me.

Blessed Be, and thank you.

**he lowers his head in respect and walks away**

[Ne0Pagan]

**he walks in the room after washing his face, lights some lavender incense, and decorates his altar with brown leaves, and flowers**
**he kneels before the altar, and takes a deep breath**

Mother Goddess,

I thank you for the safe trip to California. I always worry if we will be safe driving through those tall snowy mountains, and back. But of course, we turned out fine, and I thank you for the courage to get through the long drive.

I come now to pray especially for my Grandmother. While we were visiting her this weekend, she had an episode where she vomitted for about 15 minutes straight. When I see or hear someone that I care about vomiting, it brings heavy heavy tears to my eyes. But this poor woman goes through more than just vomiting. She aches, she can't breath. She doesn't have time left. Please keep her safe. Make her better. She is only 58 years old. She needs that sacred life force that is within your womb to aid her. She needs the energy of renewal.
Please give it to her.

Thank you for the energy to get through these days at school. I've missed 5 days of school, so I've got tons of assignments that need to be done within the next few days. Thank you for getting me through it all, as without my practice in meditation, I don't think I could have gotten through it.

Things are starting to look up. Thank you for better the communication between my Mother and I. Today, we got along just fine. And I feel it will be the same tomorrow. Thank you, I really do appreciate it.

When I pray to you, I am praying to all that is living. The life force, the core, the sacred flame, the divine spark, the Goddess. I feel that sending you my prayers, speaking with the divine, is definite release. I am asking for help. I am asking for just a sip of that primal force that is within your dark womb. I am very affirmed in these beliefs. Thank you for the clarity.

Goddess, keep me going this next week. IT's gonig to be long and exhausting. Homework, the gym, driver's education, my chores, work, so much to do. If I have energy to feed off of, I will be fine. Please give me that energy.

Blessed Be m'lady,
and thank you.


**he puts his hands together in a fist, brings them to his forehead, and makes a light bow**
**he stands up, and glides out of the room**

[Ne0Pagan]

**walks into the room, and sits before the altar**

Great Ones,

I thank you for the inspiration to write my new erotic story that I've called, "Untamed Passions". I feel it is a gift from the divine masculine, deep within me. I wrote it as a sexual experience between myself, and another in which I invoke the presence of the sexual God Pan. It has helped me define the masculine, in my own words. Thank you.

I'm sure you know, but my mother and I have been having much trouble getting along. I am having problem with authority period. And in the midst of me planning this walk-out/sit-in on the 15th, I've brought home the activists' attitude. We got into it really bad yesterday, but then we both found the strength to get along. And now I feel that the tears I shed last night in my room, actually were meant to cleanse me. And now I feel spiritual.

This month is going to be special. I'll be getting my license, driving a car, having the protest, and I feel that this will be a month of spiritual growth. I promise to chart it in my journal, and my experiences will be shared with you.

I ask for guidance, just guidance. I know that you can not solve anything, but I could use guidance to understand how to solve these problems. Depression, communication, confusion. I know I can do this.

Blessed Be.


**he lowers his head in respect, and walks out of the room**

[Ne0Pagan]

*decorates the altar for Yule*
**a snow white altar cloth, a white angel statue, the tarot deck, my Gaia statue with a black cloak over her**

My Great Mother,

I have not come to you in some time, as I find it harder to get through days and will have the energy and will to take time out to say thank you, but I know that is no excuse. I am still young, but I definitely need to try something new. I know you are not like most angry Gods, and I know you are with me at all times, and that you understand, I know this.

I think I'm closer to finding myself. The protest on Tuesday was successful, and I felt somethign I've never felt before. I wrote an entry on it, and I'm going to keep that forever, so I know how I felt on that day.

I'm beginning to become more in tuned with my sexuality, which is me just admitting to myself that I'm gay. I may like females at times, but generally, I'm homosexual. And I feel so strong when I say it.

Thank you for the strength to get through this week, because it is finally over.

Blessed Be.

*bows his head*

[Ne0Pagan]

Great Mother,

Give me strength, and clarity of mind, as it's been over a day since I began my fast.

This fast is not only to cleanse my body of all its impurities, but it is to share in the suffering that others around the world endure daily. I feel that this is my gift to the world.

Sometimes I get hungry, but then I feel the emptiness. And it's not a bad feeling. It's great, I feel so clean, and pure. Of course, I dream of getting a big bad of ranch dorritos, and piggng out, but I know I can't. I know I'm strong, and I can resist the temptation to eat.

And now, I pray to you, to intervene. You are the greatest force, hell, you are the force. You are what makes us breath, and you are that air that we take into our lungs. Stop these people. Stop our President Bush from leading our country into a coalition of hate. I want no more blood, no more death.

And with my refusing to eat something my body needs to survive, I am praying for you to help those people around the world who do not have enough food. Give them the food I refuse to eat, and give them my love. May ALL the people of the world, stay clear of our incoming bombs. Please keep them safe.

Blessed Be.

[Ne0Pagan]

**lights a white candle**

My Great Goddess,

I come to you this evening, to say thank you. My grandmother has been able to sleeping on her new bed, propping her feet up, and believe it or not, at least half the swelling in her legs has gone. She can now feel something when she steps on it. She's so happy to have all the extra skin.

And she is overcoming her cold. Thank you so much. Please continue to bless her with your loving energies, as I do the same.

I have looked at some of the other altars in this thread, and not counting one, all of them ask for help. Their problems are very important, but many people, I don't think, are as thankful as they should be. And I AM thankful. I am.

I also thank you for my reaching a point in my life, again, of spiritual growth.

And now, I do ask, for help in losing weight, and living a healthier lifestyle. You have given me the strength to start, I just ask for help in finishing, for stability. May I always feel my connections with the earth, may I always stay grounded.

Blessed Be, and thank you.

[Ne0Pagan]

Holy Mother,

I come again, to thank you for meeting Michael. He is someone I feel very strongly connected with. I feel so close to him. I ask that you help our relationship flourish, as he is also an Earth Child, and we together, can dance the sacred dance, to celebrate your great mysteries.

Thank you.

Blessed Be.

[Ne0Pagan]

Holy Mother,

I come to you now to ask for strength and powerful will when I workout tonight. I'm tired, and I'm starting to feel no motivation to do anything. Finals are through, and maybe that will help, but I am still losing my friends.

I've got 2 maybe 3 people I can stand being around. And with everyone else, I always find something that bugs me, and keeps me away from them. Please, extinguish these anti-social feelings of mine.

Thank you for the rest that my Mother has been able to get. She's been working really hard, and she's very stressed out, please continue to give her your love. Hold her close to your breast, and keep her secure.

Thank you for everything.

Blessed Be.

[Ne0Pagan]

Holy Mother,

I come to you know in gratitude for getting my Mother through these past few days.

Losing her wallet has totally torn her up. She knows where it is, and the people she trusted to get it back for her, didn't. She's lost faith in friends, and she's lost faith in herself. She's very afraid.

But those first few days were very very hard for her. She was so down, she couldn't even leave the room. She had to stay in the room with my little brother and I, because she feared getting too depressed if she was by herself.

And now, she's better. I was there for her, and I prayed for your help, and you helped. She's been re-issued her driver's license. She got credit cards and the such taken care of. No longer is she angry with herself as much, but now she's trying to fight the problem, and make it better.

I also come to ask for your help in getting this job. I intend on using the money I earn to pay for insurance, and to help my Mother with the bills. I owe her like 200 dollars over a 2 year span, because of me being out of work. Yes, I'm 16, but I still asked to "borrow" money. And if I pay that back to her, it'll help her with a few bills.

It's been a week, and they haven't called yet. Tomorrow, I'm going to call again, and remind them of me. I need this job.

And I ask for you to help Melissa get over her flu. She's missed her first few days of school in a while, and with all the academic pressure that she puts up with, it's really tearing her up. She feels like a slacker. Let her get over the pressure, and please let her get over the illness.

Seeing her without a smile on her face is just weird.

Thank you.

Blessed Be.