unspoken Pagan "rules"

[Haedis]

What do you think are some typically unspoken "rules" or commonly held opinions that new Pagans should be aware of? What did you find out just by trial and error dealing with Pagans that you wish you would have known before you got flamed or misinformed? What have you learned through interaction that isn't often found in books or essays?

Here are some examples (amazingly none of which I had to get flamed to figure out! :) ) :

-When a Pagan seems to over-use stereotypical "Pagan" sayings and symbols they scream "newbie" and will be more likely to be looked down upon by more experienced Pagans. (saying Merry Meet, Blessed Be, Love is the Law, etc... just because it seems like the "Pagan thing to say" is partly what I mean)

- wearing amber and jet in a ritual circle will usually put you on the bad side of the High Priestess

-claiming that the Necronomicon was written over a thousand years ago by a "mad Arab" will often get you laughed at

-insisting that Wicca is a pre-Christian religion will give away the fact that you read too much Silver RavenWolf

-constantly ranting about SRW will make you look insecure about your own personal convictions and like someone who's jumped on the bandwagon a few years too late :D

-thou shalt not tell Satanists that they are "christian rebels" for they will flame you mercilessly and usually have a good retort

-Thelemites are smarter than everyone. The sooner you accept it the better you will fare. (partially kidding)

anyone have any more?

[Tammy Sullivan]

well I kinda do,

I don't like it when newbies are so afraid that they will offend someone, that they don't ask for clarification on answers that are vague. With the differing paths many times we aren't specific in our answers, as we want them to search for it within themselves, But I just love it when they keep on asking until they are satisfied.
But I get really ticked when they are scared to seek, fearing reprisals from those who should help educate. I see this often on other sites. :(

[Raevyn]

The last one applies not only to thelemites but ceremonialists in general. Similar thing for anyone older.

Also, saying one was "always Pagan but didn't have a label" because they liked nature.

"Christians forced ___ into Wicca"

"Wicca is just a nicer/more politically correct term for Witchcraft" or, just using the terms interchangeably (argh).

"All Pagans follow the rede"

"All Pagan paths are nature/earth based"

"All Wiccans/Pagans/etc. do spells"

"History and ancient culture have no place in modern Pagan belief"

"Older is better - a Pagan path isn't valid without historical basis and ancient culture"

[Haedis]

hehe I knew YOU'D agree Thelemites are smarter, Raevyn. 93, eh?

[Flar's Freyja]

Make your best effort not to enter circle with negative thoughts about someone else who might be participating. If your negative energy can't be put aside, you don't need to be in circle.

[Mythrel]

one of my pet peeves is the overkill on jewelry...
in my experience, newbie pagans choose to wear tons of pentacles and run around with a chip on there shoulder looking for attention or someone to comment about it so they can go off on the evil christians...most don't have any clue what they are talking about and give pagans in general a bad name...

*stepping off soap box*

[Raevyn]

Hey I meant it applied to ceremonialists and older people too - some people seem to think they're better/smarter - I don't mean it's true tho :) My list was misconceptions; maybe I should call them anti-rules ;)

[Catwoman]

I don't know if this counts but I know that the Wiccan rede is "Do as you will but harm none".

[Flar's Freyja]

Do not call in additional elements, energies, guardians, etc. The high priest or priestess has a specific magick working in mind and calling in additional energies could interfere with those energies.

[qidrogreevat]

I really hate when people tell newbies\others that certain types of magic are flat out impossible or wrong. For example, levitation has not been done by me, however, this does not mean it's impossible, just that I have not achieved the state of mind\ability to do it.

[Sequoia]

"goddess loves ME and I am THE CHOSEN ONE and I love LIGHT and LOVE and you MUST see that in me! You must! I'm perfect!! Dammit, I'M THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!"

Or when the "older, more experienced chosen ones" try to brainwash you into thinking you belong with their group. *shudders* shiat, I was a magnet for that type when I was first being introduced to all of this! aiya!

[Pan]

Originally posted by Haedis

- wearing amber and jet in a ritual circle will usually put you on the bad side of the High Priestess


What's this about? I've never heard of this???

[Haedis]

Its something of a status symbol in some covens and traditions. Signifies the position of High Priestess and it would be disrespectful for someone else to wear it.

[Faery-Wings]

Originally posted by Puma Hime
"goddess loves ME and I am THE CHOSEN ONE and I love LIGHT and LOVE and you MUST see that in me! You must! I'm perfect!! Dammit, I'M THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!"

Or when the "older, more experienced chosen ones" try to brainwash you into thinking you belong with their group. *shudders* shiat, I was a magnet for that type when I was first being introduced to all of this! aiya!

Hmmmm,, that reminds me of someone.....

[Siarlas]

what about my daughter's father saying that he can't understand people who worship trees and don't believe in a higher power??

But I dunno... I haven't been 'flamed' for anything I've said/done so far.... and the only piece of jewellery that might show what I believe is my pentacle which stays under my shirt. I don't want to start an argument with my daughter's grandmother on how 'witchcraft is evil and it is the devil working through you'... BLAH!

[Jenett]

Re: the amber and jet - they're used in some traditions as a sign of certain achievements (degrees).

It's probably also worth mentioning that different colored cords are also used in this way in some groups.

At a big open public ritual, it's not likely to be a big deal (because there's so much variation between groups) but if you're visiting a specific group for ritual, it's probably worth asking if there are things you should avoid wearing. You might also get people making assumptions about your level of training even in public groups, so you might want to be aware of that.

Why the visible distinctions? They can serve a useful purpose. For example, in the training group I'm in, it can be very useful to be able to say to brand new people interested in the group "If you have any questions, people wearing green cords are Dedicants, and people wearing other colored cords are Initiates of various degrees. Feel free to ask any of those folk about any questions you have, but the Dedicants probably have more time to chat before ritual than the other folks."

(They also serve some more private purposes, as an additional ritual tool, for the people wearing them, but that's another issue entirely.)

[Amethyst Rose]

In the list I moderate and have belonged to for at least 5 or 6 years, here are some doozies that have caused flame wars inthe past:

1. saying "may way is the only way" make huge flames when used in the same sentance as the word "vegetarian" and the words "all pagans"

2. saying all "dark" magick is "evil" or only "white magick" is good and anyone who isn't a "white witch" is bad

3. distinguishing between magick by using colors

4. Saying all wicca is the same, ie. not distinguishing between Brittish Traditional Wicca and eclectic (book learned) wicca

5. Saying that the Rede is LAW and CANNOT be broken

Hmmm....that's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure more will come up. :)

[Demeter]

Any sentence beginning "All Pagans/Wiccans ..." is wrong.

ASK before you touch any magickal tools that belong to somebody else. Some people don't mind having their things touched, others really hate it.

And my favorite: Check Not Thy Brain At The Door.

[Haedis]

-Its a good idea to learn what Satanism/ Enochian magick/ Chaos magick / etc. is before you talk about how "wrong" it is. And even then...have some respect even if you dont agree with it.

-If you spell it "magick" atleast know WHY its spelled that way. *reminisces with a chuckle*

-Don't claim to be a part of a coven if its just you and a group of inexperienced friends studying together. A reputable coven really cant be led by people who dont have formal training and many years of experience.

-If you use the title Lady or Lord and insist that others call you that as well...chances are you arent worthy of it.