Grandmother passed away

[spiral]

My Nana died today, of colon and liver cancer. When my mum and I got to the hospital she looked so much worse than she had before, and her breathing sounded awful. Her eyes were a little bit open and we didn't know if she was awake or not.

She came round properly at the end, opened her eyes wide and looked more alert than we'd seen her in days, she was just watching my mum's face. She tried to speak but couldn't and we told it was ok, we knew she loved us. She closed her eyes and gradually stopped breathing. It was like she'd been waiting for us to get there. I guess compared to what a lot of people go through it was peaceful, and I'm so glad she wasn't by herself. But I feel so much guilt - guilt that we couldn't do more, that we didn't make it easier for her. I feel like there must have been something we could do. It all happened so quickly. I'm so scared that she suffered, that she wanted something but couldn't tell us.

She's lived with us my whole life, and has been there through everything. I'm being strong for my mum, but I've never had to deal with grief like this before and the guilt is overwhelming me.

[Xander67]

:hugz:

Sorry to hear that , you and your family are in my thoughts.

[Lunacie]

I think it's a very human thing to feel guilt when a loved one suffers and dies from cancer. I've been through this 3 times myself and I felt awful each time. Each person is different in some way though. I do believe your Nana was waiting for your mother and you to arrive so she could say goodbye (with her eyes). My mother waited until my dad and my little sister had left for the evening before she slipped away. I had stepped out into the hallway to talk to my other sister and brother for a minute and when I went back with the nurse to help turn her, we could tell she had left.

Sending hugs and comforting energies for you and your mom, and asking the Divine to help your Nana with a gentle passage and a warm welcome on the other side of the veil. :hugz:

[spiral]

Thank you both, it means a lot.

[~*Midnight Flame*~]

Sorry to hear about your loss...keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.:hugz::hugz:

[St. Bunny ofthe Nail]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[watersprite]

Guilt is the bad part about grief, and something your grandmother might wish you would let go.
You DO get to be really sad. And miss her like crazy. And talk to her when something reminds you of her. I do that and my dad has been gone since Sept of '06.
She is free now. She has no more pain.
So, for a peaceful transition, I send her hugs and energy.
And for you, many hugs to draw on whenever you need them. Soon you will be able to celebrate her life, like you need to. Plant her favorite plant. As you nurture it, it will grow and do her proud.

[Cloaked Raven]

:hugz: I'm so sorry about your grandmother, spiral. :hugz: Sending love and prayers your way.

[Amilee]

I so very sorry for your loss. :hugz: but she waited for both of you and what a wonderful gift to give. If you dream, pay attention, she may just show up!

In Japan they say that the souls of the departed stay around for about 100 days to watch over your family, and if need be communicate.

So keep your eyes open. She's still around!

[Morred]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss...I'll keep you in my thoughts :hugz:

[DreamSpell333]

so very sorry for your loss. May your Nana be at peace now. :hugz:

[Falling Star]

i will light a candle for you all if i may!
Love is an energy that cannot die,...you may be able to feel her around you,....she will always be there for you!
I understand the pain you feel, i have lost family from cancer also.....but one day i promise that tears will turn to laughter!
i am sending love and light.xx

[Cunae]

I am so sorry about your loss, friend. Grammas are such special, important people in our lives.

[spiral]

Thanks for the comments everyone, I really appreciate it :hugz: