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demetri
March 22nd, 2009, 09:24 AM
To earth I am bound.

To the heaven I go but earth I am bound.
I am bound to the earth from undying love.
An undying love for me for I see a vision a vision of us.
By the lake watching the cherry blossoms dance in the wind.
Cherry blossoms were so sweet that they bound us to the lake.
The moon raises the time has come but to heaven I donít go.
To earth I am bound by your side.
For the promise of our Undying love we sit by the lake.
We watch the dance of the cherry blossom.
The earth we are bound for are love is endless.


The girl I love

The girl, I love dazzle me.
Her smile makes my heart melt.
Her hair is like silk in the wind.
Her eye shows me happiness.
She is in my mind before I sleep and when wake up.
Her skin is as soft like a new born.
The girl I love always thinks of me I know from her word.
My girl I love I will never let go.


The kiss.

In the rain, I wait.
For the one I love.
To give me a kiss, of binding love.
The rain pours intense as he comes.
When we kiss, the rain turned to mist.
My heart melted like chocolate.
His lips were the sweetest thing I tasted.
This kiss was my everlasting dream.


i just put up a few poems i did i want some feedback on what people think of them.:uhhuhuh: Bad or good comments I want to know what i can do to make them better.

demetri
March 23rd, 2009, 06:56 AM
ok ill try better on my poems next time then

Fading Star Spirit
March 23rd, 2009, 07:25 AM
I missed this thread :) Your work has great potential, I like the fisrt one.
You have wonderful imagery.
Thank you for sharing, and please keep writing!

demetri
March 23rd, 2009, 07:32 AM
i dont think when i do poems

Fading Star Spirit
March 23rd, 2009, 08:05 AM
Well, whatever works for you. :)

Try experimenting with different styles, have some lyrical fun!

demetri
March 23rd, 2009, 08:14 AM
Well, whatever works for you. :)

Try experimenting with different styles, have some lyrical fun!

ok ill try that