depression help...

[shnen]

how do you help a friend thats severely depressed?
She is seeing a Dr. but she is ignoring calls and email. Is the best thing to leave her be? to call every few days to let her know I am here when she's ready? Do i go over and do a girls night with facials, nailpainting and cheese????

I really feel helpless, I know I can't bother her very much, and she has to do what she has to, but does anyone know what I can do?????

[Lavender]

That is so hard to say what to do as each person is so different. You can only try these things but don't push too hard. You have to just gauge how much to do. Healing hugs to your friend.

[dnatree]

The veil of interpretation is what separates
you and I
We should never have felt shame or blame
Remember the pain in the secret garden
remember,, you chose to live alone and hide yourself behind
your tears
And like a veil, you are hiding yourself from me
I'm waiting, standing at the door between the two houses
until the moment you take me back
why do you hide yourself from me
Remember the covenant we share?
Remember, we created the sunrise to remind us how to start new.

(here is this poem in the form of a spell www.stephentree.com/veil.wav )

[Rubi Waters]

Let her know that you are there and that you care.....

[Mnemosyne]

Ohhh, the girls night with manicures, facials and cheese sounds fun! I'm not really depressed, but I sure could go for it. lol

Well, I've been depressed before. Let me tell you; the best thing that you could do is to let the person know that you care about them. It sounds like you are doing that already, Shnen. Just keep up the good work! Even though she might not be responding, she must appreciate that you are there for her.

[Leviyah]

I suffer from serious depression from time to time and I also have friends who do so I can kind of see both sides. I'd say to keep up the contact, even if she doesn't answer your phone calls or emails, there will come a time when she's ready to. At this point don't go over because you may overwhelm her.

It's really good to see that your such a good friend, when you go through depression often people you thought where friends disappear. I guaruntee you, even if she doesn't appreciate your effort at the moment at some point she will.
Blessings
Leviyah

[Thistle]

Like Mnemosyne and Leviyah, I've suffered from depression, and they've given you really good advice. Keep trying, but not too much. It's a fine line for you to walk, but when she's ready, your friend will reach out. Sometimes a funny story or something that will make her laugh can help, too.

So often when you're depressed, others don't know what to say or do, and the depressed person feels even more isolated and thinks nobody cares, even when that's not the case.

I hope your friend knows how lucky she is to have such a good friend as you.

[punkymister]

I have also suffered from depression, at one time in my life like Mnemosyne, Leviyah and Thistle. This was actually not to long ago, it was in the summer of this year. But thats besides the point. What got me out of it, was optimism, determination and faith.

As Wildchild said, everyone is different, but my advice would be let her know you're there for her, as you're doing and try to get her to inherit some optimism. It might just work.

[Wyrdsister]

When I was at the very depths of my depression, the only thing that resonated with me was my mother telling me to "hang on; just hang on." It wasn't the scads of advice people bombarded me with, it wasn't silly movies or music, it wasn't people trying to cheer me up. It was just being told to "hang on."

When I'm deeply depressed, I also find it very hard to think about the future - and I mean even the very near future. Thinking of the future would cause great anxiety and make me feel worse. I had to take everything an hour or half an hour at a time. Thinking beyond that was impossible and/or painful.

That's all I can offer for now. If my brain comes up with anything else, I'll type it here. :)

Wyrdsister

[shnen]

thanks everyone :)

I got am email from her yesterday night, I guess her new meds are really making her sick, tired and just plain anti social. She said she misses us and can't wait to get together, but she just can't do it right now. She can't handle "normal" people.
*wait, does that mean shes calling me normal? :eek:*

[Pan]

I wouldn't know about helping a friend with depression.. as I don't have any friends! lol 8O At least not in real life. ;)

But does anyone know if there's any tests on a medical website that one could take to find out if they really might have depression?

[Dawn]

Try going to www.webmd.com

There is a search box there - enter depression and there are alot of articles about diagnoses and symptoms.

This is a reputable website.

Hope this helps

[Pan]

Oh dear...

I took a depression quiz, alright.. my score was 19.

Sever depression = 18+

Of course, it's just a test... I'll have to see a doctor. But being laid off isn't gonna make that easy! :wah: