Storm
November 7th, 2002, 03:13 PM
My eyes have been open and I have seen the truth. It was a long time coming and I have arrived. Now I see what I must do. Let go. I have been crushed under the weight of emotion..all that you can imagine..
Love.lust.longing.yearning.obsession.compulsion.obligation.anger.resentment.insecurity.jealousy.resi stence.fear.hope.doubt.
For now I let it all go. Yes, even hope, for what I hope for may not be what I need or what is meant to be. It is hard. I feel the pull of habit. Waiting and watching. When I feel it, I breathe and I let it go. I ask for help. The time of day that I most need help is nearing. Be with me and guide me. I do not know if I should say goodbye..should I even bother. Does he deserve it. I will not solicite his attention. If he shows I will say goodbye but if not then fine.
I must be empty. So I can be objective. For now. I have no wish to be a generic human being. I will open up to these things again. I will know when.
Love.lust.longing.yearning.obsession.compulsion.obligation.anger.resentment.insecurity.jealousy.resi stence.fear.hope.doubt.
For now I let it all go. Yes, even hope, for what I hope for may not be what I need or what is meant to be. It is hard. I feel the pull of habit. Waiting and watching. When I feel it, I breathe and I let it go. I ask for help. The time of day that I most need help is nearing. Be with me and guide me. I do not know if I should say goodbye..should I even bother. Does he deserve it. I will not solicite his attention. If he shows I will say goodbye but if not then fine.
I must be empty. So I can be objective. For now. I have no wish to be a generic human being. I will open up to these things again. I will know when.