in need of a little love...

[Zetta]

Tomorrow is Mother's day... and i don't know what to do... or how to handle it... 3 years later.. and i still don't know...

Three years ago in February, i lost my mother in a horrid car accident... she and i were pedestrians and hit by a truck...
She was my best friend... She had suffered most of my life in a battle with rhuemathoid arthritis, and was wheelchair bound at this point, and i had been taking care of her for the past 3-4 years almost solely. I did not mind... she was my best friend, a great companion and a whole lot of fun to be around. All of my friends loved her, and most even called her mom... esp during those college years when their own mothers were often far away...

so i sit here.. thinking... constantly, about what i do not have any more... the commercials on tv.. the adds online... the people in stores asking "what are you getting your mom for mother's day?" and i just want to curl up in a ball and sob until i can't anymore... Both of my grandmothers passed away when i was a young girl... i have no one else i can honor in the living realm... and it just really hurts...

I know i can honor her spirit and all that she taught me, and the woman she helped me become... I know i can honor the mother of all, living and breathing in everything around me...

but this time of year just makes me so so sad... I miss her... and... well... i need some hugs...

hope i did not sound too whiny... i have no reason to be all woe is me... she raised me well, she was a loving mother, and she gave the best of herself to me... but... darn it... I want my mommy.

[LacyRoze]

:hugz: from someone who knows how you feel. I lost my father 11yrs ago and I still dread Father's Day...

[moonbride]

I'm not really sure that there's anything I can say to make you feel better. I lost my own mother to cancer almost 16 years ago and while I don't necessarily dwell on it all the time anymore... it is still hard on Mother's day and I miss her dearly. So know that you are not alone and if it's a hug you need... well I can certainly offer you one of those... at least a cyber hug anyway ;)

:hugz:

Hang in there hon...

[jessicaabruno]

Zetta,

Sorry, to read about the way your mother died. Unsure on what really to recommend you to you since I never been though this. Know this time will come with both of my parents of course. At the same time I do recommend that you read Grief Girl: My True Story, Erin Vincent. Basically, the author of the memoir lost both of her parents to similar circumstances as you lost your mother in.

Believe this is it for me at this time.

[WitchOfEndor]

Oh how I can relate. My Moms been gone 3 years as well & I totally understand how you feel. :hugz: times a million

[Lunacie]

I can also relate. My mother died of cancer 10 years ago, and it was very difficult not being able to do something special for her on Mother's Day - and her birthday - and Christmas (my family are Christian).

I was married on Valentine's and divorced 25 years later. For at least 5 years hearing all the ads for V Day was very difficult for me. It does get less painful over time, but it can take a long time. The most painful times are the anniversary of the death and any occacions that were special to you and the person you lost. It's all part of the grieving process. :hugz:

If it would make you feel better, you could send me a box of chocolates for Mother's Day. :lol: My daughter and I agree not to buy each other anything this year, but as soon as everyone has a day free at the same time we will take the grandkids out for a special day all together. She took the girls out for pizza and bowling last night and they had a wonderful time - I couldn't go along because I had another nasty migraine.

[Philosophia]

Sending healing, positive, and comforting energy to you! :hugz:

[Lunacie]

And Happy Mom's Day to all of us who can't take our mother out to dinner today, or call and talk to her on the phone.

Miss ya Mom. :weirdsmil

[Kaneithren]

:hugz: :hugz: :hugz:

[Anthony41671]

Lots of healing energy sent your way!! I don't know the pain of losing a parent, but I do the pain of losing a child and I too have had difficulty in recovering from it.

My thoughts are with you on this day!

[Terra Mater]

Tomorrow is Mother's day... and i don't know what to do... or how to handle it... 3 years later.. and i still don't know...

Three years ago in February, i lost my mother in a horrid car accident... she and i were pedestrians and hit by a truck...
She was my best friend... She had suffered most of my life in a battle with rhuemathoid arthritis, and was wheelchair bound at this point, and i had been taking care of her for the past 3-4 years almost solely. I did not mind... she was my best friend, a great companion and a whole lot of fun to be around. All of my friends loved her, and most even called her mom... esp during those college years when their own mothers were often far away...

so i sit here.. thinking... constantly, about what i do not have any more... the commercials on tv.. the adds online... the people in stores asking "what are you getting your mom for mother's day?" and i just want to curl up in a ball and sob until i can't anymore... Both of my grandmothers passed away when i was a young girl... i have no one else i can honor in the living realm... and it just really hurts...

I know i can honor her spirit and all that she taught me, and the woman she helped me become... I know i can honor the mother of all, living and breathing in everything around me...

but this time of year just makes me so so sad... I miss her... and... well... i need some hugs...

hope i did not sound too whiny... i have no reason to be all woe is me... she raised me well, she was a loving mother, and she gave the best of herself to me... but... darn it... I want my mommy.

Rejoice in what you had it is a special gift to treasure. Maybe you should look into volunteering some of your time with an organization that would put you in contact with a lot of women that are around the same age as your mother would have been. You cannot replace her, but you might gain comfort from sharing some of who you are with people that might remind you of her.

Remember, she is never farther away than you heart. You carry her face, her voice, and her way in your memory. Talk to her, you may find that more than a fair bit of her spirit is still nearby, waiting only for you to be able to acknowledge her presence.

I have three children up for adoption as well as raising three children of my own. To have any of my kids type a description of me half as nice as what you shared about her would make me cry happy, and I never cry for any reason.

So let me tell you what I would tell them. Let go of the pain of the passing and live in the love of the life you remember. Your mom wouldn't have wanted you to still be so sad. Feel her arms around you and take strength from it. :hugz:

[Catiana]

:hugz: I lost my mother 26 years ago to cancer. To this day I still don't like to celebrate mother's day, even though I'm a mother myself. :hugz:

[Zetta]

LacyRose -hugs* thank you for your words, they mean alot to me :) i am sorry for your loss as well.

Moonbride- *hugs* thank you. so much. I am sorry that you know this pain as well.

Jessica- thank you for the book recommendation and your kind words.

WitchOfEndor- *hugs and holds* thank you so much, i am sorry that you know my pain, so well, and in so close of time as well.

Lunacie- *hugs tight* thank you for sharing your story as well... and who knows.... next year, you might just get some chocolates from a strange little witch :)

Philosophia- Thank you honey :)

Kaneithren- :hugz: thank you.

Anthony- thank you for your kind words. I am sorry for your loss as well... i have been close to the pain of loss of a child when my eldest brother passed away. I am so sorry.

Terra Mater- thank you ... so so much... for all of your wonderful words. they mean so much.

Catiana- *hugs* i am so sorry for your loss as well... thank you for your kind words on this day. I am sure you make her proud.



:group:

thank you all... I am trying to live today (and every day) in her honor... i took some fresh roses to her grave this morning, and sat down and talked to her for a bit... and i have called some of my friends whom she mothered and we are going to get together later and have a small ritual, and a picnic... and possibly tell stories around a campfire if the rain holds off long enough.
Thank you all once again *hugs*

[Calli]

Oh, hon! :hugz:

I lost my dad 10 years ago last week. I know what you're going through. Father's Day wasn't so bad, because I could focus on my kids and remind them to call their dad and stuff, but his birthday was awful! For years! It takes a long time, but it does get easier, eventually.

[Nesta]

Sending a warm hug your way.
xxx

[Lunacie]

>


:group:

thank you all... I am trying to live today (and every day) in her honor... i took some fresh roses to her grave this morning, and sat down and talked to her for a bit... and i have called some of my friends whom she mothered and we are going to get together later and have a small ritual, and a picnic... and possibly tell stories around a campfire if the rain holds off long enough.
Thank you all once again *hugs*

I'm glad to hear you've found something positive about Mother's Day after all. I love the idea of having a little ritual and sharing stories about Mom's around the campfire. :uhhuhuh:

When I picked up the grandkids at their dad's house this afternoon, I had a chance to talk to them about celebrating with Mommy and Gramma after school is out (just two weeks away). The little one wants to go back to "the castle" at Coronado Heights (http://skyways.lib.ks.us/counties/SA/cor.html). It's been a couple of years since we visited there and she apparently enjoyed the outing. The older one wants to visit Mount Sunflower (http://www.summitpost.org/mountain/rock/152360/mount-sunflower.html) but I said that's probably too far away for us to visit this year - maybe next year. Traveling with an Autist kiddo and two adults who have Fibromyalgia needs some careful planning. But it's something to look forward to for all of us.