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surreal
June 13th, 2009, 01:17 AM
Hello everybody!

So, lately, I've been noticing my internal frustration level has risen to increasingly new highs. Week by week my perception of my breaking point has altered and now i visualise the point of complete explosion is a fragile, yet still uncertain, point in time at arms length.

For years I've been having flashes of visual violence towards people 'at arms length' (literally). Basically, in even the most casual of social interactions with persons such as friends, parents, and co-workers my imagination runs wild of myself committing an onset of unmitigated physical attack mostly with heavy objects. It is only a flash, I don't dwell, I usually snap out of it with a quick inhalation of air and a twitch of the head. There is no blood. During dinner having the utensils in hand will trigger such a surreal mental activity. The topic of conversation has never been a trigger nor my personal feelings towards the person. So far it seemingly just happens during periods of stress. (periods being months at a time)

Also, I've noticed my tendency to curse under my breath during inappropriate times. This is usually triggered by a creeping up memory of a past event of when I was uncomfortable. When I think bad thoughts, violent or sexual, I yell at myself, sometimes loud, "Shut the fluff up, *myname*!" Sometimes when I am in earshot of someone I think they might be thinking I was talking to them... that makes me feel bad. Counting to three sometimes helps... when I am on a tangent I start to count... each progressive count I dwell deeper into the contemplation... and at three I take an intense sphere of energy and release it out as quickly as possible. Often the only physical movement is a twitch, rarely do I slam my fist down, very rarely.

Now, I, in general, am very soft spoken, shy, incredibly introverted, polite, considerate, intelligent, emotion(sometimes ice cold), generally educated, eccentric, and some other things. My point is I don't portray a person with issues with rage. A side note: I noticed when others are intoxicated a true color shines through... I, am a happy, very happy drunk. Very rare, only when negative energy interjects into the festivities and my empathy kicks in do I get angry when I am intoxicated. This is brief because I remove myself from the scene and find some good music. Some people know me as outgoing, happy, fun loving... it's my Sagittarius moon. =)

On to the point... I am becoming increasing concerned that I am walking, or perhaps falling, down a destructive path. I don't believe I am immediately threat to anyone, including myself, but I do capitulate to the notion that it is possible my current belief is gravely wrong.

My job is a wireless consultant (sales) in the cell phone industry. (42 - 48 hours a week) I work with 10 other sales reps on a small sales floor where there is a steady flow (average 30 minute wait time) of customers from the general public. The manger is a high energy person, IE stresses out EVERYONE around her... everyone, even customers, make statements to support my previous statement. Every day it is a bombardment of information about phones, plans, tech issues, meetings, sales goals, conference calls, emails, numbers, reports, reports, and more REPORTS! Non of which matter to me... every time it think about it makes realise how far away I am from my goals and I question my tract. (don't get me wrong, I am also happy that I have a good job and saving money up for school and a business, this may be the only thing keeping me goin') Then on top of the information overload, we deal with dozens of people a day with score of situations. It makes me nauseous. What gets me here out of everything is the myriad of personalities I deal with everyday such as happy people, angry people, intelligent people, arrogant people, smelly people, .... etc. The last sentence is possibly the most critical indication of the root of my problem. Sometimes I belief my co-workers think I am just being lazy, but that's not the case, I just need time to relax and center myself.

Today I had a meeting with the GM/ASM... we went over many things, this is normal, but what was odd, not for me anymore, was that I kindof received a lecture about my personality. "It's like you put up a wall between you and us and our customers". I did not say anything but monosyllabic replys of acknowledgment. I would of loved to tell them about the real me, not the person the DM hired on the spot. They are not my friends nor do I pay them for their professional services of counseling. The walls are critical for my emotional survival and now I feel as which they are crashing around me. They also stated they perceive me as "walking around with a chip on your shoulder", ok, I gave them that one, but only with a 'hmmmm'. They asked if had a problem with them, my coworkers, or any anything else generically. I said nothing, my personal feelings towards the GM/ASM are irrelevant. In fact I have a high professional opinion of the GM and admire her in my own way. It makes sense, people whom build report and are outgoing with customers sale more. The overall point here is, I get these conversation from EVERY manager I ever worked under. It's just my third time around in 5 months being in a meeting with the same general topic of me needing to be more 'outgoing'.


One more thing to add... when I am touched I instantly spark to rage.... I hate being touched by strangers or even friends. I don't mind the occasion gesture of kinship such as a firm back rub or a tossle of the hair from a small select group of people... but light touches drive me mad. The worst are when strangers touch my elbow or arms, especially my hands... I really want to forcefully remove their fingers from my body and scream at them, "back the fluff up!"


So there we have it.... I need to figure out something quick. BTW: I am bipolar type II with ultra rapid cycling. (i did the med thing for a few months, and no thank you!)


Any suggestions?


I've been starting to exercise, it helps.


Please, no cyber bugs, I mean hugs. No hugs please.

Thanks Y'all.

Galen
June 13th, 2009, 03:07 AM
Are you able to take a small vacation? Isolate yourself from people and maybe go and do something you find relaxing? Alone? I would try this, but make sure to get away from cell phones, phones, computers with peer to peer interaction, etc.

Also, I really would like to recommend something like kick boxing to release your anger. Going to the gym and beating a bag seems to be a wonderful way to release anger. Stick your favorite playlist on and maybe work out or read to it.

People all have the violent, sexual urges...but it's one thing to briefly get a flash of something and erase it and then execute that thought. As long as you are able to quickly get rid of the thought, I wouldn't worry about it.

I also wonder if you would be better in a more secluded job, perhaps? The job market is tight, but it seems like a job with limited interaction with others would be best for you. At least that's the vibe I get from your post. :) You do seem to be an introvert and that is likely the cause of your problems at work.

Some of my suggestions may seem a little far out, but they have certainly worked for others who didn't think they would. Never hurts to try something. Good luck with your problems. If you ever need to just send a rant message, feel free! I work with helping younger kids release anger and frustration in healthy ways and hopefully this will translate to adults.

Cunae
June 13th, 2009, 05:03 AM
I may look benign but I get these feelings, too, because I was sexually abused by a relative when I was a kid. Now I transfer that rage into situations, periodically, today.

I journal it out when I can hold a pen again (sometimes it's just scratches!) and I hit my prayer/meditation alter. Music helps... sometimes gentle stuff, sometimes hard stuff. Exercise may help you, too. Sometimes just screaming at the top of my lungs helps, sometimes just raging at God or beating the lawn or a punching bag burns off the energy. I also recommend a counselor who can handle it... not some wuss who repeats everything you say.

I really wish you the best. Rage is a hard one to work on.

watersprite
June 13th, 2009, 07:28 AM
Well, you really need some help. Sometimes the bipolar folks have to have their meds adjusted several times to find a happy medium. The hugging/touching thing; did that come from your family background? Do you see it as false and superficial? Since I have to be home more than I like, I invested in a punching bag. I get angry too. It really feels good. Then I can settle down and put on my headphones and meditate. You do need your own space. I also scream, yell and swear in my car. That's what freeways are for. It cuts down on road rage. Then, back to the meditation music.

KC Destroyer of Worlds
June 13th, 2009, 09:31 AM
I went through a lot of the same things when my empathy was manifesting fully. How I handled it isn't necessarily appropriate for MWLite. If you want to know how I got through it just PM me. If not good luck with your search. I promise you are not crazy.

Glowy
June 13th, 2009, 09:56 AM
I have a punching bag, 100lbs. I love it.

Clair de la Lune
June 13th, 2009, 03:35 PM
I have recently found out that I too am bipolar. I have been dealing more with rage lately than I have in most of my life. I never really allowed myself to feel it before. I think it is a healthy release of emotions that have been bottled up for so long that they had been making me sick and had brought about my generalized anxiety disorder and PTSD which was from traumatic events, including abuse I could not deal with until now. Even the sexual abuse that happened as a kid I am dealing with now more than I had before, and yes, anger has to be part of the emotions one feels in the process. I just had bottled everything up until now. Luckily I balance it with massage and relaxation, and have a kick ass psychiatrist that I have been seeing for years who is compassionate and seems to have my meds adjusted correctly. I am seeking counseling with a psychotherapist just to get the stuff out of my gut and to see someone I can unload on that won't take it personally what I have to say. It will be nice to get an opinion about things and perhaps more insight. Maybe you would like to do the same?

As for the massages, cranial sacral therapy is excellent for bipolar disorder, (so is polarity) and you can oftentimes get it for free from a school that teaches massage therapy if you get a student practitioner.

Good luck. Remember that you are not crazy, and you are not alone! :bigredgri

Contact me if you wish.

Clair

Herumetem
June 13th, 2009, 04:48 PM
My gods recently pointed out how poorly I irect my anger. I'm easily irritated and often snapping at the wrong person. I don't put walls up or anything, and I'm happy with that choice.

Also, I HATE to be touched! I hate hugs, holding hands, people rubbing my arms or back. HATE IT HATE IT. I have no idea where it comes from, but it sends shivers up my spine and I end up clenching my teeth through the contact. Makes me even more irritable.

Honestly, I don't know how to deal with it. Some days are better than others, as I'm sure you'll agree. I don't want to sound patronizing, but take deep breaths. I read a book once that said all anger comes from things being taken personally. Even things people say about us aren't about us, they're about them percieving us. We need to remember that every single action or word that effects us is coming from a person whose mind is just as complicated and iignorant as our own.

Good luck!! You have my prayers.

Cunae
June 13th, 2009, 04:54 PM
Get your biggest BBQ fork and stab the lawn until you are exhausted. That way you aren't stabbing people while you work out some rage and the lawn gets aerated at the same time. :thumbsup:

surreal
June 15th, 2009, 11:10 PM
Thanks for the replies, everybody!

Vacation is not possible for two months...

The not being liked to be touched thing was present ever since I can really remember. It was really tuff for my first girlfriend to understand.

The punching bag sounds great! It seems like a nonunhealthy means of release and a good source of exercise. There will be one hanging in the garage soon.



There is a pattern worth noting... the more time spent alone the harder it becomes to break away from the solitude and return to society. For the last few months most of the time spent has been alone working on projects of high personal importance. I've been neglecting spending time with friends for the last few months as well. Going to the bar and drinking has lowered on my todo list hence my solace with the projects.

It is becoming apparent spending too much time alone is becoming unhealthy. Perhaps a more of a balance is in order. The last few months I've been going from one extreme to the other... all alone to myself with my own thoughts to a room of a chaotic social cluster fluff.


The good news is there are several free "Behavior Health" sessions covered under the health care plan. So tomorrow an appointment is being setup. It was odd the customer service rep at the health insurance company asked me "do you feel you are a threat to yourself or anyone else". The reply was no. It should of been yes. But the thought of being red flagged the rest of my life for being honest is frighting not to mention be committed over it. (not realistic, my problems do not compare to persons truely needing 100% attentive help)



Thanks again.

-S

Shawn Blackwolf
June 15th, 2009, 11:17 PM
According to government policy , you are entitled to
all government help , the moment you say yes to this question...

A little known factoid...if you believe in facts...:thumbsup:

"do you feel you are a threat to yourself or anyone else".

Bettie
June 15th, 2009, 11:36 PM
Things that help me are kickboxing, running for as long as I can, and hot, violent sex. Also I find it incredibly therapeutic to get hold of some cheap or secondhand crockery, and just fling that shit at the wall. Feels bloody brilliant. :thumbsup:

Clair de la Lune
June 15th, 2009, 11:46 PM
I like to beat up pillows or sofa cushions sometimes. They have to be sturdy ones, or at least that is my preference. Less mess. :bigredgri

Cloaked Raven
June 16th, 2009, 10:13 AM
The 10 second scream helps me sometimes. If it's not working, I take a dead tree branch and beat up a rock with it... :smileroll

Corvis Canis Latrans
June 16th, 2009, 10:36 AM
Reading all the way through, parts of your post sounded very familiar to me. Time passes and it has very gradually let up for me. Mostly I think a major part of it was high stress, but there were several other factors that played into it. Some other suggestions:

My issues were partly tied up in metabolism, some oddities. One facet was that I wasn't getting enough B12 (complicated by the fact that I react in unfortunate ways to the most common form--cyanocobalomin. I had to look for the methylcobalomin form).

A deficiency can lead to severe emotional problems, including depression, bipolar, and yes, rage issues.

If you're a vegetarian (vegan type as opposed to ovo-vegetarian), you're not getting any, as it is only found in meat products, unless the plants have been grown in soil which already has B12. Plants can absorb it that way, but considering how bad soil is now, it's unlikely that any vegetables in the supermarket today or even most gardens have it. Eggs I believe have a small amount but I'd have to double check that.

Also if you take B12, be sure you get enough folate with it.

Protein in general was also a component. I seem to require more than most people, and vegetable sources don't cut it (I tried vegetarian once, made myself sick :().

Omega supplements helped. Thompson's brand, Omega 3-6-9 worked best for me, but it varies from person to person. You might have to shop around.

Magnesium helps some people, make sure your magnesium and calcium levels are good.

B vitamins in general are helpful to most people (me, no, just the b12, the rest just dehydrates me, but that seems to be a product of my other issues).

Spring is always worse, insecticides and pesticides do interfere with serotonin levels....and I seem to be rather more sensitive than most to the ill effects.

Scented products: perfumes, incense, air fresheners, can cause major issues including mood and migraine for some people.

Me? Used to cause major blinding migraines....once I got the metabolic issues back in balance, I stopped reacting so badly to scented products though the majority of them are still extremely unpleasant at best.

Maybe something will ring a bell in here, maybe not.

Good luck...

CCL

Nicholas
June 16th, 2009, 10:50 AM
I yell a lot then go be by myself usually doing something I love like fossil study. If I find I keep messing up because i'm in the foul mood though it makes it worse and I usually try to go to sleep so I can wake up with a fresh start.

surreal
June 20th, 2009, 05:31 PM
According to government policy , you are entitled to
all government help , the moment you say yes to this question...

A little known factoid...if you believe in facts...:thumbsup:

"do you feel you are a threat to yourself or anyone else".

Please elaborate... I was asked that verbatim but said no because I did not want to get hauled away.

Good call on the supplements... I've been slacking on taking vitamins.. does anyone know if herbal/natural doctors exist which medical insurance covers?


The punching bag helps... Many years ago I purchased a some radar netting, camouflage, that is large enough to fit over a full size tank. =) So I have that stuffed in a canvas bag hanging in the garage.. wow, that's fun stuff right there... next is acquiring bag gloves, damaging my hands is not an option.

Shawn Blackwolf
June 20th, 2009, 06:22 PM
Not much to elaborate...

Just what I said...they have certain specific guidelines ,
and rules...one of them , is even if you have been already
refused before...

And they ask you that question...and you say yes...

( best to say "If I do not get help , I might end up being
a danger to myself. I am just trying to get better , and
need assistance to do so"... at least to begin...)

Then they are required by law , to get you help...

This could be medical , temporary monetary , or filing
for permanent disability , housing , etc...

They could , depending on agency , require 24 - 48 hr
observation...or not...I never had to...

I just got temporary monetary , then , help with filing
for long term disability...


Good luck !


Please elaborate... I was asked that verbatim but said no because I did not want to get hauled away.

surreal
June 29th, 2009, 01:46 AM
Hi

Just a quick follow up...

I still need to make an appointment with a professional. Due to crazy job happenings it's pretty hard ATM. I was just told I am goin' to the next city over for 'training' due to a merger. So I welcome the change of pace!

The punching bag really helps, I visualize people or situations which bring anger to me and I punch them out.

Also my goal is to run an eight minute mile. I've been running at least every other day and my progress is pleasing.

Exercising is great way to inflict healthy pain to oneself. =)

-S