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Shanti
July 19th, 2009, 08:47 AM
I'm a wreck! I normally dont give a hoot what anyone in any family thinks.
But....the family monarch, great grandma is coming!!:hairraise
She lives in California, us in Wi. My mate and I have been together for 11 years yet I have never spoken to this person of high family status. She is my mates grandmother, in her 80's and the eldest of their family.

She is seeing our place for the first time. :hairraise
I will be speaking with her for the first time.:hairraise

And I am wreck!
I dont know why I am so nervous about it. I met the grandpa, he is passed now, and he was so cool! I just loved him. We spent hours talking.
But grandma, she is quiet and watches. I saw her when grandpa and her came to visit once about 5 years ago, she never left my MIL's kitchen.
Its was summer and all the adult grand kids and great grand kids spent the day outside with grandpa.
Grandma just kept a distance.

I was a little creeped out. She had vibes that just said, 'I can be a real biotch if I want'.
All my mate says is that he doesn't really know her. She is always quiet and doesn't really talk.
Now I am going to be having this woman at my house for a day at the end of a month!

I feel like the house wont be perfect enough. I feel like I wont be perfect enough, the kids wont be perfect enough, and that is not like me! I usually do my best and screw it if anyone doesn't like something...but this is great grandma!:hairraise

What if she talks and she isnt pleased?
What if she doesn't talk and its that long silence that makes everyone nervous?
What if I forget to offer a drink or something?
What if and what if?

I am a wreck and have only 9 days left to try to make everything perfect. It wont happen. One of the dogs will have an accidental poop right before she steps into our house!:awilly:
What if she steps in dog poo?:awilly:

Sequoia
July 19th, 2009, 05:30 PM
Oh Shanti, I know you will do fine. You are a very hospitable, kind, and intelligent person. You're an amazing whiz with your animals, and your home crafts. Your home must be a delight. Your kiddos will set an excellent example of your parenting skills, I'm sure. And hubby should support you quite well. :)

How did she end up coming there? Did you invite her, or did she invite herself?

aluokaloo
July 19th, 2009, 08:02 PM
i kinda thought you were the monarch shanti.:cutie: relax, you'll do just fine. just treat her like a regular member of the family. she's not the queen of hearts who can behead you at he first slight. :hugz:

Terra Mater
July 19th, 2009, 09:50 PM
What if she talks and she isnt pleased?
What if she doesn't talk and its that long silence that makes everyone nervous?
What if I forget to offer a drink or something?
What if and what if?

What if she does?
Is she moving in with you permanently?
Is her liking you going to mean you suddenly get a huge inheritance?
Is her not liking you going to cause your mate to run screaming for the hills?

I can tell you that if you do not calm yourself you will make a far worse impression because you are so hugged up about this that you will be on edge, overly sharp with people, and your whole reason for being that way is presumption and assumption.

So take a nice relaxing bath. Have a little sip of whatever you normally have a sip of. Mostly relax!

Unless of course the lady is going to bestow a huge inheritance upon you, in which case, get your doctor to write you a prescription for enough Valium to get you through it.:thumbsup:

Glowy
July 19th, 2009, 11:54 PM
Be yourself. Treat her as you would anyone's grandmother coming to see your home. Kennel up the dogs and anything else that may make noise at her or leap on her untill she is seated and relaxed. If you are not comfortable, she will see it as weakness if she really is a" She had vibes that just said, 'I can be a real biotch if I want'.
All my mate says is that he doesn't really know her. She is always quiet and doesn't really talk.
Now I am going to be having this woman at my house for a day at the end of a month! "


She is on your turf, it is up to you to be welcoming and kind, not nervous and insecure.. or she will wonder why, and judge.

You have a very different life than Cali Grandma. Show her how it works, show her how you are proud of it, and that your kids are too.
She will love you!

Shanti
July 20th, 2009, 01:31 AM
Thanks guys.
I know its dumb to feel all nervous. I just hope she likes me. I want her too.
I loved grandpa, wish he would of had more time in this life so I could of gotten to know him more. :(

I would like to know grandma some.

No inheritances involved. She doesnt have anything to leave.

She wanted to come to Wi because she is nearing her days end, Her health is failing and her family is all here. She wants to make rounds and see everyone one last time.
She is coming to say goodbye.
I want her to be proud of us and feel good of her line here.
I know it silly, but I have that desire for everything to be perfect.

I know I am being a goofy human. But I care a lot what she thinks and I dont know what she thinks!!! Yikes!

But the support from you all really helps. I also feel good that I can come here to say I am being a silly girl. :toofless:

Thanks again everyone!

Oh today I took the day off working around here to relax and it felt good!!!:smile:

Shanti
July 27th, 2009, 07:03 PM
It was suppose to be today but now its tomorrow for the inlaw day and more are coming, cousin, aunts, etc.

I have ran myself ragged and I cleaned this house so thoroughly, even the dogs are not sure if they can come in! LOL
No dust under or behind anything.
Outside too is clean and pretty.
I am as ready as I will ever be.

I hate meeting new people, especially of the inlaw type.

Well, if they dont like our dumpy little house imitation we live in or the mini farm, its their prob. I did the best I can.

I dont have refreshments as we are so darn broke, but we have good water and fresh homemade ice mint tea and honey. Hope thats good enough. Oh and milk.
They are only going to be here a short while in the early afternoon because later, one of my mates sisters is having a huge family BBQ and we all will be going over there.

I just cant wait till this family stuff is over with! I hate the family thing. My mate does too.
Heck, there has already been family quarelling going on. Get them all together and argue, argue all over the place.
We of course stay out of it and dont get involved in that BS.
Its just stupid.

Glowy
July 27th, 2009, 07:26 PM
Your ice mint tea sounds delish!

Relax, take a deep breath and look around? Are you proud and happy where you are, yes, you will reflect that.
You went all out to make your house impeccable. If it is not good enough, bad on them. Besides, Grams will be too busy looking at the kids and catching up with everyone to care.
Just relax, and enjoy the BBQ in the afternoon
Good luck!

watersprite
July 27th, 2009, 07:37 PM
It was suppose to be today but now its tomorrow for the inlaw day and more are coming, cousin, aunts, etc.

I have ran myself ragged and I cleaned this house so thoroughly, even the dogs are not sure if they can come in! LOL
No dust under or behind anything.
Outside too is clean and pretty.
I am as ready as I will ever be.

I hate meeting new people, especially of the inlaw type.

Well, if they dont like our dumpy little house imitation we live in or the mini farm, its their prob. I did the best I can.

I dont have refreshments as we are so darn broke, but we have good water and fresh homemade ice mint tea and honey. Hope thats good enough. Oh and milk.
They are only going to be here a short while in the early afternoon because later, one of my mates sisters is having a huge family BBQ and we all will be going over there.

I just cant wait till this family stuff is over with! I hate the family thing. My mate does too.
Heck, there has already been family quarelling going on. Get them all together and argue, argue all over the place.
We of course stay out of it and dont get involved in that BS.
Its just stupid.

You are who you are. I see a loving, vibrant, caring person.
Perfection? If she looks under the bed for dust bunnies, I would be surprised. I doubt she cares, at her age.
You may be pleasantly surprised. So enjoy her and her visit.

Shanti
July 28th, 2009, 02:53 PM
Waiting now.
They should be here soon.

Glad my adult son is living with my mates sister. They are bringing grandma over here along with a bunch of other inlaws.
It makes the family bush more bushy and my son and I can hang together if I get tense and want to kinda linger out of the thick of things. :toofless:

Darkest Eve
July 28th, 2009, 03:42 PM
:hugz:

You could always escape to visit us if you needed to. :lol:

Shanti
July 29th, 2009, 12:57 AM
Its was great!
No one even came into the house. LOL
We all spent our time here outside, they loved being out in the country and especially seeing all the green. California is brown right now.

Grandma loves crocheting and yarns so I gave her all my homespun yarns I had, llama, alpaca and angora. She was in her glory. :)

My mates aunt was awesome, an old hippy!!! We hit it off.

The BBQ by the sisters house was great and we all had fun.

It couldnt of been a better day. :)

I'm going to bed now.
Time for some major crashing.
Thanks everyone for the support and shoulders.

Sequoia
July 29th, 2009, 12:59 AM
See? I knew you'd blow 'em outta' the water.

Rock on, Shanti!!

sarabethv
July 29th, 2009, 01:10 AM
LOL I read this too late. I was going to say you would be fine, but you already were.

Raven Reed
July 29th, 2009, 01:18 AM
I am glad it went well! Giving her the yarn probably thrilled her no end. :bigredgri

watersprite
July 29th, 2009, 01:51 AM
Well, you have a clean house and you had a good visit and treated the lady to a bit of fresh air.
Girl, you ROCK!

Lunacie
July 29th, 2009, 10:53 AM
Its was great!
No one even came into the house. LOL
We all spent our time here outside, they loved being out in the country and especially seeing all the green. California is brown right now.

Grandma loves crocheting and yarns so I gave her all my homespun yarns I had, llama, alpaca and angora. She was in her glory. :)

My mates aunt was awesome, an old hippy!!! We hit it off.

The BBQ by the sisters house was great and we all had fun.

It couldnt of been a better day. :)

I'm going to bed now.
Time for some major crashing.
Thanks everyone for the support and shoulders.

Yay! You had a great visit and because no one went inside you still have a clean house to enjoy. So glad to hear it turned out so well and you enjoyed getting to know "the dragon lady." :lol: