Predator La Crosse coach or God's Gift to Boys?

[Gwion]

New charges have been filed against the female coach of a Pottstown area boys' lacrosse team in a sex-and-alcohol scandal.

The 38-year-old coach of the Pottstown Lacrosse Association for Youth -- already charged with having sex with a 15-year-old player -- is in deeper trouble.

Chester County DA Joseph Carroll say Elissa Fritter (right) of East Coventry faces additional corruption of minors accusations for allegedly having sex with a 16-year-old and a battery of other new charges:

"14 counts of endangering children, 14 counts of corruption of minors, 15 counts of reckless endangerment, and 16 counts of furnishing liquor to minors."

Most of the charges are related to booze parties she had for team members at her home.

Fritter had attempted suicide last month by overdosing on acetaminophen after learning she was about to be arrested for having sex with the 15-year-old.

She has since recovered and will face a preliminary hearing on all the charges at once, next month.

*******
My comments:
Oh for Christ sake, if some hot 38 year old woman had sashayed up to me in the locker room with a bottle of Kessler, wearing a smile and carnal intent at 15, I would've thought I'd died and gone to Elysium. Maybe she compromised some ethics, but she doesn't deserve to be hounded into suicide. The boy's father's are probably bragging about their son's! In France or Italy, she'd be a celebrity!

[Storm]

"Oh for Christ sake, if some hot 38 year old woman had sashayed up to me in the locker room with a bottle of Kessler, wearing a smile and carnal intent at 15, I would've thought I'd died and gone to Elysium. Maybe she compromised some ethics, but she doesn't deserve to be hounded into suicide. The boy's father's are probably bragging about their son's! In France or Italy, she'd be a celebrity!"

That's basically what a judge said in a recent case involving a 35yr old and a 16yr old.


Not offering oppinion.

[flar7]

so, we use different laws for people based on sex? Cause all
boys naturally want it? If this had been a man doing this with
girls, they would be calling for his testicles.

[Azure]

While I agree with you flar, I have to say, having been a teenage girl that there are a fair number of would-be Lolitas out there. . .

The problem is in the culture - because Americans are by nature rather repressive about sex, all sexual activity between those over 18 and minors is looked at as crime. The reality is, that sometimes it's consensual, and the kids are perfectly okay, and sometimes it's coerced and criminal. The law looks at all of it as the latter. This is sad, but also probably an error on the safe side - better that teens are protected.

Nothing will change that until attitudes about sexuality change.

Final note - while I can understand a teenager lusting after a hottie teacher, I can't for the life of me see why a 30 something adult would want any kind of relationship with someone that young. I tend to think that an adult who doesn't want to date someone over 21 probably isn't that mature mentally or emotionally.

[Gwion]

want with a girl like Britney Spears anyway. I mean, she sings ok.

[Old Witch]

Originally posted by Gwion
want with a girl like Britney Spears anyway. I mean, she sings ok.

I'm not sure, but I think you just proved Azures point.................:p

[Azure]

And Britney's 19 or 20 these days, and thus legal anyhow. . .

[Psyche Ague]

Originally posted by Old Witch
I'm not sure, but I think you just proved Azures point.................:p
Yes. Yes, he did. ;)

But I have to agree...as long as the sex is consensual and both parties agree and understand what's really going on, I don't have a problem, whether or not the gender roles are reversed.

What people don't seem to remember is how sexual children and teenagers really are. Whether or not they should be having sex with adults is obviously a touchy subject, but they are already experimenting at VERY young ages. People still have this weird idea of children being pure and non-sexual. This is simply not true.

I do NOT think children should be manipulated or coerced into having sex, but I don't think adults should be either.

And I have to agree with Azure...why would an adult want a young teen or a child to have sex with? I think it says a lot about maturity...or lack thereof. I'm not exactly condemning...just questioning. Heavily.

And flar...girls definitely want it, too. lol

And Britney Spears is just nasty. :p

[Gwion]

A 21 year old is not a child.

>And I have to agree with Azure...why would an adult want a young teen or a child to have sex with?<

Nobody said anything about children.

[Psyche Ague]

Originally posted by Gwion
A 21 year old is not a child.

>And I have to agree with Azure...why would an adult want a young teen or a child to have sex with?<

Nobody said anything about children.

Under the age of 21, there are children. There are teenagers and young adults, but there are also children. I took it to mean ANYONE under 21.

[Mythrel]

Originally posted by flar7
so, we use different laws for people based on sex? Cause all
boys naturally want it? If this had been a man doing this with
girls, they would be calling for his testicles.

nuff said there....

[Hamelyn]

First off, I'm sixteen. I've been active since I was... 12ish, 13ish.

From a high school student's perspective... things like this happen more than people think. First off, many prominant universities have teacher-student relationships, including Harvard. Now, that's all well and good, but when you go younger...

First of all, a lot of situations that people hear about via the media tend to miss the facts. It's kind of like the young people at my school who date the much older individuals. Someone realizes there's a relationship and without any details- and I don't have to tell anyone here how much details can matter in romance, I'd bet- begins to pass it around. The imagination does the rest. The media is like a director of a play. Are you getting the truth? Yes. But, your limited to one perspective, one product of appearances. From the people on the inside, looking out at all the people looking in, they see WAY more of the details. They're in the relationship.

Personally, my two best friends, and lovers, are in their mid thirties. They're young at heart and yet mature, and I'm old in mind and vibrant. It evens out somewhere along the middle. They're still some of the most intelligent and sensable people you could ever hope to meet, and while I don't doubt that my age has something to do with our relationships, it's not the only thing. I think it's more that a person of my age could relate to them as well as I can. They have experience and find it in me as well.

Similar thing with teachers and students, I think. I have a teacher whom I go eat with after school, sometimes. We can relate to one-another, share similar interests, educated views, et cetera. And we're both attractive. Physical attraction, mental stimuli, and the like all play a role.

Yes, I think there's predators out there. But from a first-hand experience, I don't think that it's safe to say that wanting to date a minor is neccessarily a sign of lack of maturity. It sure CAN be, I know that. But I think it's more mature to realize that even young people can show maturity, and some just can't. And that people your own age is a mixture as well. To not stick to either stereotype is the best choice in my eyes.

Besides. If we were in the good ol' ancient days, I'd have been breeding almost 3 years ago. *chuckles*

[flar7]

some of the sarcasm was missed in my point. Not all boys want
sex, and sometimes girls want it too. The point is, under 18 is
statutory rape. This means, That Adults should not have sex with
children, regardless of whether they are in "love" or the child "begged" for it.

Under 18 is illegal and the adults are responsible for their actions in regards to these children, supposedly.

As to the college scene, the reason it gets overlooked is, mom and
dad dont know, and neither does the school administrators. Instructors who have sex with their students(ie. the ones that
they are personally teaching at some point) will find themselves
fired at the very least if it goes public. But it is like all crimes, some do get away with it.

[Gwion]

When I was 28, I had a relationship with a girl of 18. We lived together, were engaged, broke it off; altogether 3 years. To this day she is my best friend, and the keeper of my conscience. If she had been a month younger when we met, our relationship would have been illegal, but I would have gone for it anyway. I consider myself blessed to have her in my life. I learned far more important things from her than I ever taught her.

Under the current law, an 18 year old girl is breaking the law if she has sex with a 17 year old boy. It's pretty out of touch with reality.

[flar7]

18 is the age where its been decided you can give your permission
to have sex. You are an adult(sort of) and our responsible for any
actions you may take.(maybe)
Also, you vote at 18, but you drive at 16? Perhaps
unification of all that crap to 18. You drive, vote, drink, join army,
and have sex at 18.

Now, is it ethical for a teacher to have sex with a student, regardless of age? seems a violation of trust. kinda like the doctor patient thingy.
Happens, but probably not right.

[Hamelyn]

Flar, it's not 18 all over the place, though. It depends on the local area. I know that here in Missouri, for example, it's 17. In England I believe it's 16. In some places in the world outside of the USA, it's lower. China and India come to mind. The law is subject to culture for the most part.

[Gwion]

>You drive, vote, drink, join army, and have sex at 18.<

I just went to Hawaii for a few months, I missed out.

I believe the age of consent in Australia is 16.

[Psyche Ague]

In Pennsylvania it's 16.

And I think the law is that if you're 18 and have sex with someone three years younger, it's illegal. But an 18 year old can have sex with 17 and 16 year olds. Just not 15 year olds. Obviously, if you're 19, you can have sex with 17 year olds. And so on.

I see no real problem with age differences, whether it's an older woman and a younger man (or woman) or an older man and a younger woman (or man). Regardless of the law, it's a personal moral choice. Of course, under 18, the parents must be involved and all that.

I really like this thread: it's making me think! :)

[Storm]

Well, this thread is close to my heart being in love with a youngling(of age now).

After a certain age it is no longer pediphile. A 15, 16, 17 year old maybe quite capable of love and handling a relationship but it is when the relationship goes bad, they aren't as capable of handling the heartache. Of course there are exeptions and adults can have a hella hard time as well. But in general the younger the more vulnerable emotionally they are.

I love him so much I let him be. Let them grow up and be young. I will always be here for him and if time and circumstance ever allow well then we can take it from there.

[Silver_Alhena]

Originally posted by Hamelyn
Flar, it's not 18 all over the place, though. It depends on the local area. I know that here in Missouri, for example, it's 17. In England I believe it's 16. In some places in the world outside of the USA, it's lower. China and India come to mind. The law is subject to culture for the most part.

And in some European countries it's 14...

[st0rm]

here in sweden its 15 (I think) but the age thing is just a guideline over here.. for example a 13yr old girl could have sex w a 15yr old boy without him getting charged for satiatory(sp?)rape, if they are emotional and physical equals...

[Hamelyn]

St0rm, I couldn't agree with you more. There comes a time when the greatest expression of love is to stand back and watch over from afar. *hugs* Good point. *smiles*

[Sequoia]

This is a touchy and close-hitting subject!

In my opinion, a lot of these things are case-by-case. . . I mean, in some cases, a relationship between two who are close in maturity level, but not in age, could very well be absolutely fine. (I would, however, probably throw a fit if that meant someone in their thirties or fourties with someone in their teens - to each his own, but if I "see" someone under 16 or so having sex with someone that much older, it kind of makes me nervous) The problem is, a lot of the time these laws do protect younger people, who might not be able to really resist the advances of 'adults', or who otherwise may not even be willing to say that something they did wasn't consented. In a way, it's almost like a safety net, too - if you're that much younger, and someone's making advances you don't like, you can threaten with statuatory rape, you can threaten to report them, it's sort of like an extra safety measure to protect younger people.

On the other hand, in those mutually loving cercomstances, it can get to be a real pain in the ishkabibbles. (oh my word -_-; I'm using my mother's non-sensical phrases. Save me.)

I personally don't have too much of a problem with young people having sex with other young people (say around fourteen or so). And I don't have a problem with older teenagers having sex with 'adults'. But what really gets me is 'adults' with the really young ones, and that's where I think, "consenting" or not, it really is statuatory rape. I mean. . . And I don't mean to offend anyone. But at that age, so few people know themselves well, in a deep and understanding way. And so many don't think about what they're doing, having sex or partying or things like that. And if an 'adult', someone they look up to and trust, makes advances or tells them things, they might not see the whole picture. Granted, everyone is like this at times, but it happens more when you're younger, because you don't see the whole picture yet anyway. Most people, that is. I understand there are special cases. But I think these laws were made to protect, and I think they do. It varries in degrees, but I'm glad these laws exist.

I also dislike the stereotype idea of "guys can't be raped, and they always want it." Wheras I may have seen way too fricken many examples of guys who 'always want it' and 'take what they want', I do also know that men can be raped too, and it's just as much an act of violence or power as it is when a man does it to a woman. But our culture really doesn't see it this way at all. Either way, too, if you ever were to try to take something to court, it is extremely difficult to really "prove" rape, and pretty much everyone involved tries to hush it, or quiet it, or sweep it away. Dirty little secrets, that sort of thing. There really isn't a way for "justice." Oftentimes, the person speaking of what happened is turned into "the bad guy", and these things just happen over again. Why? I really don't know. But it's a damn shame.