Returning?

[LadyTerra]

Now, this post isn't entirely a question. Maybe it's me just getting things off my chest, but who knows? Anyway, I'll keep it as brief as possible.

All my life, I've been a religious person. I was actually looking into Wicca for five years, on and off. And then suddenly, I was dissatisfied with something, and I'm not entirely sure what. Anyway, I fell into some deco-hard Christianity - almost cultist like. It was so bad that I nearly gave up my family and my best friend just so I could be apart of this group. I was willing to give up everything, until something in my brain snapped and I realized that this *was* a cult and I was brain washed.

So I'm back, and although I have my beliefs in some things, I'm not entirely sure. But I find myself always drawn back to Wicca - always interested in the Lady and the Lord, always curious about the power - although I never had an explanation of that power - of nature (herbs, especially), of the many things that I can't remember.

So of course, I'm considering on working myself back into the ideas, reading old texts that I read years ago to just remind myself. Any hints on.. getting re-started? Let me know.

[Djiril]

:sunny: Hi and welcome! :sunny:
All I can really say is that there is no shame in being unsure. In my opinion, it is better to be unsure enough to think about something than to simply accept it on blind faith.
I think that you should be upfront with yourself and God (however you define it). If you don't know, you don't know, and God knows as much. You don't have to explain yourself to God, because it already knows. That's my approach anyway. I can only speak from personal experience. Again, welcome.:)

[Ryhla]

Hello :sunny: and welcome :) I know how you feel...though not to the extent of cultic status. It took me years of searching too to find my path I'm on now. All of it has been a learning experience for me. It wasn't until I met my best friend that I finally learned about wicca. For the first 5 years we would have theological conversations. After time, I started thinking about it and began learning more. The more I learned, the more I realized that this is the path I should take. One could say that he helped bring out something in me that has always been there.

As for a good start, try the stuck threads at the top of the forums. They can help a lot. They have for me.

[Flar's Freyja]

Being unsure can be a sign that you are someone who is very committed, once you make up your mind. My suggestion would be to hang out, read, practice a bit if and when you're ready, and give yourself the traditional year and a day to look at whether or not you want to make a definite decision.

To me, spirituality does not mean that you have to follow one path exclusively. I see nothing wrong with mixing your Christian and pagan beliefs if that feels right for you.

[Ari]

Originally posted by LadyTerra
So of course, I'm considering on working myself back into the ideas, reading old texts that I read years ago to just remind myself. Any hints on.. getting re-started? Let me know.
I'd slowly get back into practice again & above all, be gentle with yourself. Test everything against what rings true for you - you don't have to accept the belief system wholesale if it doesn't match your experience. I'd maybe start with a couple of simple rituals, and re-reading some of the texts that particularly inspired you before. If your practice was heavily earth-based (or even if it wasn't ;)) try and find some time to go camping or walking and just be out there in the natural world.