Searching for an active teacher

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I can get to anyone in the Lower 48 (States) but I'll tell you now that I like neither California anywhere south of Redding, or any of Fla. Both places make me nervous for no reason I have been able to discover. Wilderness areas are where I gain the best balance and am most relaxed. My personality is rather forceful, so I tend to listen and learn from males better than females. I lean heavily toward the Forest Lord, or at least that's what *I* call the God. I can only connect with the Mother when on a sea shore, and I don't really understand why. A commuity or commune, a remore one in deep forest is my best bet, I think, given my tendencies. I need a coven, singlefoot is *not* a good idea. Trust me on that. I'll answer any question put to me honestly.

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Whatever community or teacher I get, needs to keep in mind that I want at least one more child before menopause. I intend to try *very* hard to get pregnant.

[shnen]

ummm.... okay.... :confused:

welcome to MW ! :wave:

[SeekerOfTheWay]

And the original post is quite serious.

[shnen]

sorry hun, where is the first one? I looked.. will look again. :)

I found it, sorry I am unable to help you, but I do hope you stay and look around here :)

[Lavender]

I think this is the thread it's supposed to go with...I'll ask one of the mods of this forum to stick it together, ok? :)

Welcome to Mysticwicks, SeekerOfTheWay. Have you looked in the stuck thread at the top of this forum?

[SeekerOfTheWay]

????????????????

[Raevyn]

Two things

1) if you haven't already, visit http://www.witchvox.net/ and look at the left side bar for listings in many states and countries - they do have teachers/personal listings/stores/groups/etc.

2) I can't imagine any teacher caring what you do with your ovaries. Honestly if someone suggested anything of the sort to me I definitely wouldn't consider them much of a teacher at all.

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I tried that months ago, and never did get so much as a burp. I don't believe in beating a dead horse to make it go, so I think not.

[Kaylara]

If you have any questions, feel free to ask away!

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Now all I can do is wait until a teacher or a coven contacts me.

Then arrangments can be sorted out and arranged.

[Kaylara]

Well, lets try some specifics...
What tradition do you follow (if any)?
What panthenon?
How long have you been practicing?
What are your areas of expertise?
What are you looking for in a teacher or coven?
Have you been a member of a coven?
If so how long?
If not, why not?
Why the urgency to find a teacher/coven?

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I have lost faith in the beliefs of my youth, and am floundering. I'm very very close to forgetting what deity is, altogether. I need a deity, miss. Everyone does, no matter what they tell themselves. I'm at a point in life where the bridges are burned, and there's nowhere to go but forward. As for what I know, damned near nothing.

I feel like I'm standing on a clay slick at a cliff-edge. But there is this much. Something in me, gut deep, is pulling me in your direction. On a purely instinctive basis.

So I'm going for it. I am not bound to any particular part of the country, I can relocate at the drop of the proverbial hat, to anywhere in the lower forth-eight states (U.S.). I've never been out of the country, so that would take longer. I will limit relocations to places where the primary lanaguage is English, though.

I'm not sure what else to say, and some of what I'm feeling I don't know how to put into words, anyway.

[Jenett]

If you wait for a teacher to contact you, you might have a long wait coming. One thing I've noticed is that the *good* teachers that I know (not all of whom would necessarily be good teachers for me, mind) all seem to be pretty darn busy people.

They already have students, groups, and other things in their lives, and so they're not going to be randomly cruising message boards looking for new students.

It's also worth noting that many of the good teachers I know of are getting tired of people asking them to be taught - but not having any real idea what they want to learn, or why that teacher or group. It's really frustrating to be in that position, and it can lead to teacher burnout pretty quickly. (Ever tried teaching someone who has no idea what they want to learn - or someone whose interests gel into something you're not skilled at/interested in after you start working with them? The first is really hard work, the second is really frustrating.)

That's another reason you won't see most good teachers jump at a 'Looking for a teacher' posting, especially if the information is very general. (The most successful 'looking for a teacher' stuff I've seen has been very specific: "I'm looking for someone teaching X trad in Y general area, willing to drive Z distance if necessary. Specific interests include...")

I saw in your other thread that you had tried the Witchvox listings, and hadn't gotten anywhere. What, exactly, did you try? Again, if you try posting a 'I'm looking for someone to come along, read my request, and contact me' you're probably not going to get very far (and the contacts you might get probably won't be the really good teachers)

I'd start, in your place, by thinking about narrowing down both your interests and the the location a bit.

Location:

What about starting by doing some research and looking for places with large active Pagan communities, and then looking at specific groups within those communities, and seeing what seems most interesting to you.

I live in the Twin Cities (Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota) and there's lots of stuff going on here, and a wide variety of groups. The San Francisco Bay area has lots of variety, too. Looking at larger metropolitan areas in general would probably be a place to start.

Once you had a general location or two to think about, you could then read through the listings of groups for that area, and send out emails to a few (I'd suggest starting with 3-5) and express what you're interested in - picking those 3-5 from groups that match the stuff I talked about in the Interests stuff below.

Interests:

Are you interested in a specific Pagan path? It's not going to do you a lot of good to find a teacher who's teaching Gardnerian or Alexandrian Wicca if that's not what you want to work with at all. If you have a preference as to the kind of pantheon worked with, that's something to consider. You'll probably need to do some research to figure this out. There just isn't any way around that.

Are you interested in group work (and if so, do you have any limitations about it?) or are you just interested in finding someone to teach you one-on-one (which might be harder to find). If you're open to group work and teaching, do you care about issues like oathbound or skyclad groups? Do you care if a group is both men and women, or would an all-women group be a possibility?

There are great teachers out there: but you need to have *some* idea what you're looking for before you can figure out who'd be a good teacher for you. You can do that through talking to people, through reading, and through thinking it through. Just saying "I want a teacher" without any kind of specifics is going to make it a lot harder for you to find a good teacher for what you want to learn (or to evaluate whether someone you find is capable of teaching you what you want to learn.)

If you really can't figure out what you want to do, and you really *can* move anywhere you feel like, my suggestion would be to do some research (including asking here, maybe) about general locations with active open ritual and classes programs that people have had a good experience with, and then move there, and see what catches your attention in that local community (this process will probably take 3-6 months, mind, if you do it fairly.) I'd be glad to share my experiences in the Twin Cities, if that'd help.

A final note

None of the teachers I know would have a problem with you choosing to have children.

*However*, especially in more formal teaching programs, there are a bunch of teachers who (quite reasonably, I think) point out that going through something like a formal Dedicant or student training (leading to initiation, in the groups I'm familiar with) is not really compatible with also being pregnant.

Those kinds of programs are a lot of work, and many people's experience is that it's better to do the pregnancy first, and then training, or finish training and then, once you've been initiated, look at getting pregnant.

At the very least, if you're looking at pregnancy during training, you should expect that it's going to cause disruption in your training (both in terms of the time off right around birth, and in terms of the fact that pregnancy often makes certain kinds of energy work or other training a bit different.) Some teachers are ok with working around that, others are less comfortable doing so. It works better in some teaching methods than others, too.

That's not a judgement on childbearing choices - it's more a 'there's 24 hours in a day, and something will probably have to give, somewhere'

[Kaylara]

Really? The groups I know have no problem with you wanting to get pregnant.

Thank you for elaborating on what I said Jenett... I am a teacher and student, and I know how hard it is to find a good teacher... But if you don't do the initially work to find a good teacher, they more likely than not will not find you.

If you need help working out some specific goals or needs, I would be glad to help you anyway I can.

[Jenett]

Wanting to is fine. Whether or not you can keep up with a scheduled training program while you're pregnant may be tricky, though. And it can definitely place an extra burden on the teacher (especially if there are other people being taught at the same time).

In the group I'm in, the previous group of dedicants included someone who had her child in, I think, November, when initiations took place in January. She wasn't able to keep up with the classes and work for about the month before she had her child, and several months after. She therefore wasn't going to be initiated until she'd had a chance to finish all of that work.

I joined the group that following June, and she still hadn't finished everything, and ended up leaving the group a few months later for other reasons, still without having been initiated.

I know some people can manage it, but I think that it's one of those things that teachers have reason to be wary of (Same deal with someone graduating from college or grad school in the middle of training, actually - another time when there's lots of potential life-disruption) I've heard a lot more 'We got half way through, and then the pregnancy took over' stories than I've heard 'I had a student, and she handled the pregnancy and birth fine along with her training' stories.

But expecting it to not be an issue at all is, I think, an unrealistic expectation. Like I said, there's only 24 hours in a day - and pregnancy changes a lot of people's energy levels and feelings about priorities, so it seems silly to me to automatically assume things won't change.

If the teacher's willing to work with that, then that's fine - but not everyone may be willing to, depending on their own teaching style, schedule, and whether or not there are other group members to consider.

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Whether or not I want to do anything nude, will depend on the Temperature. Anything below 75F you can forget. Mixed groups, not one gender. In a commune or retreat, if possible. As for path, I have NO idea. I have to find out what they are first.

[Silverfern]

I would love to help but I'm in the UK.
If you want I can help you online via emails and chat and I'm sure that my friends would like to help you with that to.
Pm me if you want.

[Raevyn]

Ah I see now. The problem is not so much with being pregnant as having other obligations that will take time away from classes and rituals. That's perfectly understandable.

[Jenett]

Seeker:

You're probably not going to find a commune or retreat stuff with most Neo-Pagan groups. (Weekend-long stuff, or maybe a week-long festival, but not much longer than that.) It might be out there, but I don't think I've heard of anything that's longer-running that's an all-day sort of thing.

(Most of what I'm familiar for group work is long-term classes - class every week or two weeks for several hours seems to be the most common, but some folks do monthly.)

If you're not at all sure about what kinds of paths, there're a few sources out there that might help you do some exploring.

The classic is "Drawing down the Moon" by Margot Adler. It was originally published in 1979, with two revised editions since then. The main text wasn't much revised, but the resources listing has been. It gives a fairly decent broad spectrum of 'what's out there' to start with, though.

There's a couple of other books out there - "Being a Pagan: Druids, Wiccans, and Witches Today" by Ellen Evert Hopman and Lawrence Bond has interviews with people on a wide variety of paths. You won't necessarily find out lots of details about the specifics of a given path there - but you might well find stuff that interests you (and then you can go research that some more). This is the same book, slightly revised, as "People of the Earth" by the same authors, though People of hte Earth is now out of print.

There's one more out there at least (I don't own it, a friend does) Large (more than tradepaperback) softbound, green cover, same sort of things - interviews with folks from different paths. I forget the title, though, and I'm not finding it in a quick online search.

You might also browse the traditions pages at Witchvox - they're at http://www.witchvox.com/xtrads.html - most of the current list are Wiccan or closely related to Wicca, but there's a few others in there. Usually these articles give some basics about beliefs and practices, and often some further reading (webpages, books when they're available, etc.)

[Raevyn]

Mm sorry? How's checking the listings there again or other listings any different then posting here asking the same thing?

I say try as many sites and directories as possible, as many times as needed, if that's the way you want to go. The listings at witchvox change probably as much as the members list here. And if you'd rather wait for a teacher, then wait for a teacher.

In my case, I realized life is the best teacher.

Finally, Kaylara if you're reading this luv, could you please stick these two threads together... :D

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I just don't know if you have something like it or the name of it if you do.

Wilderness, wild places, rivers, mountains, unpopulated areas, places where human habitations are scarce. Most humans (not all) bug me after about 15 minutes. There are a few other things going that I really have to either get a handle on, or fix.

[materra]

Seeker, you are living in a City with many pagans, in fact if you read in this site, you will see many many references to the city you live in. You don't need to travel to new places to learn, you can save your money and begin now... in your own room.

As for teachers, they are all here on the internet... all the paths, all the books listed. All the opportunities to exchange information, ideas and beliefs. As a person who has moved many times I don't recommend moving to get a teacher for the craft. The teachers are everywhere you are, you are your own student/professor. Start to read, read some more, experiment and practice in the community you know. As you attain knowledge and wisdom you will recognize the willing teacher at hand, in your community and in the time you are ready to learn.

This is what I believe, and I practice what I believe. Best wishes to you. BB

[SeekerOfTheWay]

That may be, but I have always learned better hands on than I have from books. Books are something I reserve for flights of fancy and for escaping RL. It may be a product of my ill-spent youth, or the kind of admittedly odd way of thinking that I have had from childhood, but it is ME, and I have learned not to try to fight myself. In that I know myself rather well, including my bad points and will admit to those, I'm rather well off.

I'll see what I can find.

[Sequoia]

Aha! Finally stuck the threads - sorry for being airheaded! :ahhhh:

On the subject of teachers - I have had the experience that when I truely needed a teacher, one found me. Or I realized that someone I knew was already a teacher of sorts. Sometimes, it is not so much needing a "teacher" as seeing the lessons around us. . . unless perhaps you're talking more of the formal stuffs, in which case, it might be helpful to have someone who knows and can show you.

This might sound a bit paranoid, but you also need to be really careful. This person, you should feel comfortable with them, and willing to get to know them. When it comes to spiritual training, be it bible study or the Torah (? I think?) or the Koran or anything like that, you have to have trust. And it helps to get to know that person a bit, first. (hence, building trust) Jumping in feet-first is never safe. Please, slow down a little? You sound very hurried, and almost "desperate" in a way, willing to re-locate on the drop of a hat for a stranger who may or may not even be a teacher or the kind of teacher you are looking for. Care really needs to be taken. (if you are doing this, and I have mis-inturpreted, please accept my apologies.) Some people might prey on this sense of "need", it can be a slippery slope.

It sounds like you're having some trouble with faith. Sweetheart, you need to take time for yourself. A teacher can show you everything in the world, but when it comes down to it, your faith is in you. Knowing a spell or doing a ritual or having some book-knowlage or taking notes. . . these things can aid faith. They can make up the heavy basis of faith for many people. But when you come down to it, behind the candles and the magick and the books, it is a spiritual thing, deep within you. My thoughts. . . do some meditation. Try spending time alone. Wander the forests, or the ocean. Walk along a stream. Find a quiet place, and just let go. Listen to nothing at all. Embrace that nothingness, and just let life flow through you. Then listen to what your heart is saying. Follow your heart, above all. If the trouble is with faith, not with how much you know about your chosen faith, then what it will take is time and soul-searching, and no teacher can really give you that. They can help you along, but it is truely up to you.

I wish you the very best of luck, and may you find the guidence you seek, from within or without.

~Puma Hime

[SeekerOfTheWay]

There IS a sense of urgency, though. It's like I'm supposed to be DOING something, and it's tied in with this, but I don't know what or how or who. There is something within my soul that is....reaching? I don't know how to describe it, and it is driving me NUTS.

On the other hand, most of my life has been spent literally moving around like a modern day gypsy. I never really thought about the magic end of it, actually. There is something else going on here, and I can barely comprehend it, never mind explain it to someone else!

I repeat, I NEED someone who knows what is going ON. It's not a faith thing. I KNOW that somewhere in here is someone who does know what's going on and who is meant to be my guide. Every instinct I have is screaming at me that who and what I need is HERE. That 'push' got stronger, a LOT stronger when I read this particular post. I reacted in a way that I did NOT to any other post.

Now, it that weird or what? Who, or to be more precise, WHAT am I?



On the subject of teachers - I have had the experience that when I truely needed a teacher, one found me. Or I realized that someone I knew was already a teacher of sorts. Sometimes, it is not so much needing a "teacher" as seeing the lessons around us. . . unless perhaps you're talking more of the formal stuffs, in which case, it might be helpful to have someone who knows and can show you.

This might sound a bit paranoid, but you also need to be really careful. This person, you should feel comfortable with them, and willing to get to know them. When it comes to spiritual training, be it bible study or the Torah (? I think?) or the Koran or anything like that, you have to have trust. And it helps to get to know that person a bit, first. (hence, building trust) Jumping in feet-first is never safe. Please, slow down a little? You sound very hurried, and almost "desperate" in a way, willing to re-locate on the drop of a hat for a stranger who may or may not even be a teacher or the kind of teacher you are looking for. Care really needs to be taken. (if you are doing this, and I have mis-inturpreted, please accept my apologies.) Some people might prey on this sense of "need", it can be a slippery slope.

It sounds like you're having some trouble with faith. Sweetheart, you need to take time for yourself. A teacher can show you everything in the world, but when it comes down to it, your faith is in you. Knowing a spell or doing a ritual or having some book-knowlage or taking notes. . . these things can aid faith. They can make up the heavy basis of faith for many people. But when you come down to it, behind the candles and the magick and the books, it is a spiritual thing, deep within you. My thoughts. . . do some meditation. Try spending time alone. Wander the forests, or the ocean. Walk along a stream. Find a quiet place, and just let go. Listen to nothing at all. Embrace that nothingness, and just let life flow through you. Then listen to what your heart is saying. Follow your heart, above all. If the trouble is with faith, not with how much you know about your chosen faith, then what it will take is time and soul-searching, and no teacher can really give you that. They can help you along, but it is truely up to you.

I wish you the very best of luck, and may you find the guidence you seek, from within or without.

~Puma Hime [/B][/QUOTE]

[TwilightWolf]

Puma was nice enough to point this thread out to me so I thought I would put my two Pennies in.

First what do you mean by "What is going on"? that is a very broad subject and can be taken many different ways, I mean for someone as young as I am I know what is happening but unless you can take an abjective look at things which is nearly impossible unless you yourself finds 'what is going on'. When looking for a teacher you really need a more specific idea on what you are hoping to learn or you may find yourself with a teacher wasting time and money learning something that you are not interested in nor would help you at all. So for your sake be careful when looking for someone or a group or it will come back to bite you.

To many much of the non-mundane things that happen, I am speaking of energy and the flows of power between the elemental balances that make up the world.

Twilight Wolf - Midnight Raven
Kisen Farsere

[SeekerOfTheWay]

But apparently it's not getting through, I'm going on a gut deep instinctive response to what is apparently a Non-mundane imperative. It is one that began several years ago, and which is growing in strength and insistence by the day. I seem to be in TROUBLE here, and I haven't the slightest notion of what it means.

How the hell do you expect me to explain something that's going on in my soul, over which I have NO control? There is some sort of what I can only call a...Power? Tugging at me, urging me and I don't know what She/he/it wants! All I know for sure is if I can't locate someone who can FIND OUT then I think I'm going to be in a world of *@#^!

And whatever that 'power' is, it's lead me to you. Surely there's someone here who recognizes 'whatever' this is. There's this, 'sense' of approaching some sort of deadline, and I don't mind admitting it's starting to scare me a bit.

I've survived several hurricanes, a few tornados, a couple of blizzards and one small avalanche. There is little mortal I fear, and death is a part of life which makes it mortal in my book. That doesn't particularly disturb me either, having looked it in the teeth a few times.

But whatever this "Pull" is, it is not mortal. And what/who I have to find is A. Someone who can find out just exactly what this is, and B. Can tell/teach/show me what I need to deal with it.

Somehow the thing doesn't really feel like a "path" thing. It feels like a 'being' thing. And it is totally weirding me out.

[Mithrea]

Seeker,

Could you please elaborate on the experiences you are having? You have started out by asking for a teacher and you are just now really getting to the meat of things, I feel. Up until your last post, I was going to say that the problem is (in my opinion) that you are using not having a teacher as an excuse to not move forward with what it is you need to do. I understand that you feel you can't learn as well from books, I understand you feel you need a teacher to live with to give you hands on experiences but what I'm wondering is this: If you feel such an urgency and a teacher is not forthcoming, does it not seem logical that you should take matters into your own hands and really start learning as much as you can on your own until one does materialize?

You have said, you can only connect on a sea shore and you can't learn from books and you can't do this or that and must have this and that. If you put so many restrictions on this experience, it is never going to happen. I can promise you that. I'm not saying this to be offensive, I really would like to help you. However, I truly feel you might possibly not be doing enough to help yourself in this situation.

Which brings me back to: Can you please tell us more about your experiences with this "force" The more details you give the better people will be able to help you. Many of us have had these experiences. I too have been feeling a "pull" from a certain deity and though I know who she is, I do not have a clue as to why she is calling me or what I'm supposed to do about it. So, I can relate to that much.

*hugs* to you. :heartthro

Hang in there with us, and be patient with us when we don't understand. We can help you work through this even if we can't come out to OK and teach you hands on. :)

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I never said I can only connect on a shore: I said the connection to/for the Female Deity is only strong for me at the sea, and that I have a MUCH stronger connection to the Male Deity, and am more comfortable in what is essentially Puma & Bear County, ie, Wildnerness. That has nothing to do with whatever is going on, I think, since that 'push' is constant and continuous.

I have a hard time trying to describe it. I am having a very difficult time getting the concept across, mostly since I don't think you were or are, 'listening.'

Where are all of the elders when you need them?

[Lavender]

I have a hard time trying to describe it. I am having a very difficult time getting the concept across, mostly since I don't think you were or are, 'listening.'

That's pretty snotty! If you go back & re-read this whole thread, you will see that people are trying to help you. You are not very clear on what you want. People are giving you suggestions and you have come up with a million & one reasons why not. Perhaps it's you that's not listening.

Go sit by the seashore or wherever you feel the most comfortable & take a couple of deep breaths. Meditate & see what comes next.

[SeekerOfTheWay]

I'm trying to articulate something I don't know how to say. When I tell you that I'm being driven, I mean that. You seem to think that 'study' and 'meditation' is what I need, when what I need is an expert who has the experience to tell what's going on. Maybe this is the wrong place for that. I'm beginning to think that what I need is a Shaman.

[Mithrea]

Originally posted by SeekerOfTheWay
I can only connect with the Mother when on a sea shore, and I don't really understand why.

This is what you said. Like Wildchild said, you were unclear and that is why I read it that way. I *was* trying listen. Don't worry, I won't bother anymore. :(

[Sequoia]

First of all, seeker, although I do understand your frustration, some people are more sensitive to broad "you do/aren't doing this" than others, and it would be good to account for that. This is a somewhat tense, frustrating subject, and it's easy to hurt feelings.

Secondly, I'm going to be PMing you about the subject. You can reply in kind, or use my e-mail ( Sareca_of_Vulcan@yahoo.com ). As always, I'm very frequently on AIM under redwoodmists :)

May or may not be related, but I have yet to find out who and what I am. I havn't a clue. I just live as myself for now, trusting in the knowlage that I will gain later on. I have a similar sense of urgency, and though I know why I have it, and a general feeling of what is to come, it doesn't change that feeling. I don't think it will, until that 'deadline' occurs, so to speak. But I don't think that's exactly the same thing, and I'd like to talk with you more about it.

[Raevyn]

The elders are here, and some of them have already responded to this thread, to no better answer then the younger people. I personally found that a mite insulting - some of the people here are very experienced and very knowledgeable, regardless of their age. Just because you haven't been able to communicate what you need, and people haven't been able to easily give it to you, doesn't mean people here are inexperienced, not paying attention, or stupid.

The universe doesn't hand answers to anyone, and it's safe to say if anyone so far has given you no answer it's not through lack of trying.

It is easy to say "this is what I need", but the universe doesn't work that way. If the universe hasn't given you a teacher, or at least let you find one or an answer to this, you aren't supposed to have it yet. Meditation is one way you open up to receive those answers.

I realize it's frustrating, I know that all too well, but I'm afraid a magical answer is not just going to land at your feet, no matter which of us is or isn't paying attention or who's an elder.

What Puma has said resonated strongly with me, and I'm sure many others - at times we all feel a strong urgency, a purpose within ourselves, a need for something greater. Paganism, meditation, and learning are ways we follow the path to reach that goal - one thing I've had to learn lately is that the journey is just as important as the goal.