Bewildered.

[Iris Moon]

Hi, I'm Iris Moon, and as you can probably tell by my current location, I'm very new to all this.

I suppose my story is the same as many peoples- I'm just starting out idependantly, in my first full time job, a little bewildered by that and the strange dreams I've been having. It is strange, I feel like I'm learning about a side of myself that I have kept hidden for so long, being brought up in a fairly strict christian environment. I've always felt a sort of comfort when I've read about the old Gods, and now I am beginning to realise that perhaps the Craft is the path for me.

I have no tradition, no tools except a small white candle on my window sill, and the amazing images that the God and Goddess reveal to me wherever I go.

I know this is the right way, but I'm confused, and I just need the reassurance that there are people out there who feel the same way. This feels like coming home after a long journey, I just wondered if their was anyone else in?

Iris xxx

[Flar's Freyja]

:wave: Merry Meet and Welcome Home! The statement "I never felt like I quite fit in" at a pagan gathering will always bring knowing looks and giggles. Many have had similar experiences. Just take your time, hang out and learn what you can, and if this is the path for you, you'll know it in time.

I really think you'd enjoy reading Book of Shadows by Phyllis Curott. It sounds like your experience has been very similar to hers. The book is written like a novel and the author documents her journey. Keep in mind that she became involved in an actual coven and not all covens practice that type of initiation - but that's toward the end of the book. I enjoyed it so much that I read it three times.

[Emaleth]

Welcome Iris Moon :wave:

There are many people who feel the way you do. Even though I've been pagan for about 2 years, I still feel like I was just starting out on the path. There is still sooo much to learn it may take several lifetimes:) .

Blessed Be

[Flar's Freyja]

This website has tons of excellent articles:

Wiccan Book of Shadows (http://wiccanbos.home.att.net/bostitle.htm)

[Haedis]

I'm still waiting for the time when I stop considering myself "new to the Craft". I've been learning about it for about 5 years and the more I learn the deeper I go. Its almost frusterating that there's so much to know because being a solitary I could keep learning and experiencing infinitely. Atleast people in training programs can gauge they're progress through degress and such. I'll probably always feel as if I'm still just starting out. Thats ok though, it just means I'll be less apt to lose the initial rush of "wow...this is what I've been looking for!"

[Flar's Freyja]

That's what I love about this path. I've had opportunities to learn about Native American spirituality, Wicca, Asatru, Buddhism, Voudoun and more and I use pieces of all of them along with some of the things I learned growing up Catholic and exploring other areas of Christianity when I was older. There's always something new to think about and explore.

[FlamedLilly]

I'm also new Iris Moon, as a matter of fact I still say that I"m in the research stages. There's still things that I have to work through, but I know I never quit fit in. Reading about old lifestyles and old belief systems was a call to my logical personality, telling me that it wasn't always the way it's portrayed to be and that it can be different. Merry Meet and hopefully we'll both learn from each other.

[Witchy Cowgirl]

Welcome! I'm new too. And I think that is one of the wonderful things about this mix of people. It seems that no matter how long one has been involved, no matter how much one has learned or has to offer, most will still tell you, "There's so much out there, so much to experience, so much to learn....I still feel like I'm new to my path."

[Iris Moon]

Thanks! I really didn't expect so many replies, I don't know but every time something like this happens the whole experiance seems to become more real. That's what it's like, I know there isn't a certain and quick way to go about it- I just get little signs every now and then that I'm on the right trach. Thankyou, all of you!

Right now I am still researching it. I'm not doing it so much in the conventional way- I mean, I've read a few books on Wicca and the history of the craft, but my real knowledge is coming from books on mythology, herbology, reading about ancient cultures and the way they lived. That, and the beliefs that I already have instinctively. Sometimes it's hard to know what I really believe, I don't know if any of you have had the same experiance. Maybe it's because I've surpressed them so long.

I wondered if anyone could recomend any books- or even just lend some advice- on people who have discovered the Craft after being brought up in a different religion. For me it is very hard to get over the Christian theology which I don't agree with, but which I have been conditioned to believe all my life. It's only in the last three years that I've been in an environment where I can truly think for myself- and truth be told there are still times when I find it difficult. Any help would be much appreiciated.

Thankyou again to everyone who replied, I'll be back soon!

Iris xxx

[st0rm]

welcome to MW :D

[FlamedLilly]

I'd recommend any book by scott cunningham, I have Wicca today. THat's a good book, I also have Celtic Magic I don't remember the author. But Silver Ravenwolf is also a good author. THe way I do it is I usually go the half price bookstore and see what they have there and if anything jumps out and grabs my attention I buy it. I figure that's the books way of telling me what I should be reading right now.

[Iris Moon]

I've heard good things about Scott Cunningham- but I haven't been able to get my hands on any of his books yet. Will do, though! Right now I'm just thankful for the local library, whose shadier aisles provide the perfect research hovel for the towns budding young pagans...hmm.

I have a few books at home- one by Raymond Buckland, but I'm finding it a bit too authoritarian and I don't want to be impressioned by it this early on. I've been reading 'Power of the Witch' by Laurie Cabot, which so far I'm finding very interesting. I've also read 'A History of Modern Witchcraft' by Ann Moura, which has some great theories but I think it's a bit too anti-Christian. I think I'm just going to keep on going and seeing which parts strike cords. When I'm buying books I'm like you- I wander around the aisles and flick through pages until a little voice in my head whispers 'buy me, I'm the one!'....or maybe that's just my subconscious way of screeneing for books I can actually afford.

Thanks again, bye!

Iris xxx

[Gwion]

All it is is a journey home, and a reunion with yourself.

[Iris Moon]

That's really all I can be certain of right now. Thanks for the encouragement.

[MammaStar]

Welcome to MW. I've been on my path for nearly 4 years now, and I still consider myself a newbie. My advice is just to read all you can. Books, pagan publications, websites. Do what you feel is right to YOU, not what someone else tells you is the right way.

As for books, come down to the Book Forum here and check out this thread: http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=3733

also the STUCK threads at the top of this page are great resources for the newcomer.

Welcome home. :wave: :heartthro :sunny:

[shnen]

Welcome to MW! :)

[Kilia]

I'm rather a newbie as well...The books by Scott Cunningham were the first books I bought. I thoroughly enjoy his way of explaining things. He is simplistic without being authoritarian, and I go for that! :) :)

[Aine of the Fae]

Welcome. Enjoy your stay and ask lots of questions!

[Iris Moon]

Thanks again! Hmm, I'm hearing a lot about this Cunningham guy, so as soon as I get my paycheck I'll no down be haunting the 'body, mind and spirit' aisles at the local bookshop. Also, for any Yorkshire witches out there, Howarth and Whitby have *fantastic* second hand bookshops for that kind of thing. Plus, they're also atmospheric places to be....at least, for die hard romantics like yours truly :)

Iris xxx

[Silverlotus]

Hello, Iris Moon. I think you could say I found Wicca more or less the same way you did. All throughout school, I was always drawn to anything that had to do with the old gods and religions. I once did a project on ancient Egyptian religion for no reason other then to learn about it. My teacher thought I was a bit odd, but she enjoyed the finished product. :)
I've been studying and practising Wicca for several years now, but I still see myself as a beginner. I have few tools, not much more then your candle. I also have a lot of books and a lot of notes. Some of the books are great, and others aren't so great. I seem to learn the most when I read, and then really think about what is right for me. Sure, book X may say this is the way their tradition does it, but if it isn't something that sits right with me, it's not going to work. I'd rather have a heart-to-heart with the Lord and Lady then do a huge ritual any day of the week. I think it comes down to enjoying the images They provide you, as you said. And living life well. :) lol! I sound a little sappy.
I would definitely recommend reading Ms. Curott's book, Book of Shadows. Although she experiences a bit more magic in her normal life then I do, I really enjoyed her book.