nothing much

[Storm]

I just want to know that he is alright.

Always watching from afar. Always.

[Storm]

Thank you!

[Storm]

Freakin out again. No sign or sight. Thinking something is terribly wrong. Hoping all is well. My thoughts can come up with some scary scenarios. Peace of mind would be a blessing here.
Strange One.

[Storm]

:( I think it hurts a little. The numbing wearing off.

[Storm]

Dreams a bit much last night. If they mean something maybe a sign today. I am thinking they are just wishful fancy. Keeping a head on but it doesn't feel good. * removed * I say too much. Grant me serenity and patience to live in the now and accept that the future will bring my destiny whatever it may be.

[Storm]

I always get this feeling just before I get a sign. I went looking and there it was. All I have to say is what a sign indeed!!!! Only thing better would be...well ...beggars cannot be chosers. Grateful am I.

[Storm]

Argh. What did I see?? I just don't know. I could be wrong. I am thinking I should just cut this out of my heart. I could do a ritual and be fine until that moment he shows his face at my door. Then I would fall to pieces all over again. I can't help it. I have never been so connected to one individual in all of my life. But the pain of it is more than I want to live with. I want to put it aside. Forget. I wish I could leave. Get away..far away. I would hermit myself in the mountains if I could. But I can't run away. I have to be strong. The future will be what the future will be. In this I have no control.

Dreams tonight? What will they show?

[Storm]

I don't think I want to care anymore. Do I give up now. Watching. Still.

[Storm]

SIGH... No matter how hard I try.

Okay so I am scared for him now.
Panicking realy. What I need....that is soo obvious.

Please just let him be okay.

[Storm]

What was written here is known.

[Storm]

I am sorry for anything I may have said or done that may have displeased. I am just trying to figure out how things work. Things have started to fall so completely to pieces. If it is all to a purpose, I could be content. But I wish I had some insight. I am bound and chained by circumstance and buried under a landslide of my own creation and powerless to dig myself out. They say we hold the key to our own destiny but I think here I need some help. I am asking for help. And the one I hold so dear. Do I let him go? I do not know if I can. Never did i need anyone so much. It has been almost a month and I had no indication that he would not be back. I was not prepared for the agony it would cause. I have not know anything like it. I saw him yesturday from afar. At least I know he is well. But what I ask for is so much more. Do I let it go? Let it go? Let it go? Do I let it go?

[Storm]

Patience is in order here. I get so anxious to know everything now. I think things are waning in all aspects so I can focus on me. It all serves a purpose and though it may seem to be the end of a cycle it is just in a resting phase. I know what drove me to the point I am at and I need to re-evaluate why I am doing what I am doing. This is going well but there is the ever present need to accomplish things now. And with everything I want to accomplish..all the subjects I want to study and the project I am itching to start....I am feeling overwhelmed. And everything else that I have to do...my chores...I just don't give a rip. I need to outline a plan, find a balance, relax. And above all...patience.

[Storm]

Grant him a little wisdom and maturity...okay a lot of wisdom and maturity. Hear what I say. And what I don't. Protect him from too much pain. I suffer for us both.