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Ariste
September 2nd, 2009, 11:45 AM
I have a SIL that used to be my best friend. Over the past year or two she and my brother started doing really well financially. She started really rubbing it in my face. She acts like she is better than me in every way. A better mom cause she never used a playpen or safety gate. (nevermind that her daughter would regularly play in the toilet and eat catfood while she was in the shower) A better wife cause she likes to make everything from scratch. (I like to make alot of stuff from scratch too, and mine is actually edible) And of course she was always like 'we have better cars than you, a nicer place than you, more toys than you" she constantly bragged about the amount in her savings account and that they were going to buy a house and send their 2yo to a private school. She also went and bought christmas presents for me and my kids from yardsales which totally made me feel like we weren't valued to her at all.

So recently it was discovered that the reason they were doing so well was because my brother was embezling money from the company he works for. LUCKILY his boss didn't press charges or even fire him. However their savings account is now empty, my brother's pay is being docked and any extra hours he works also goes to paying off the debt, she is very very pregnant and has left her job, and because she was lying about her wages to get unemployment it runs out in 4 weeks and she can't apply for another 6 months.

So at this point, we have significantly more income than them, a nicer car (and she will probably lose the one she has), we're looking at moving within the next year to a bigger/nicer place. I DO have sympathy for her because not so long ago we were struggling ourselves. Is it wrong of me inside to feel a little happy about it though? Just she made me feel like shit for so long... I don't really believe in karma so much, but if ever there was an argument for it..this is it. Like i said I do feel bad for her, but in a way it's like a sigh of relief that she can't hold things like that over my head anymore. I kinda feel guilty for having that little part of me that is happy though.

Raven Reed
September 2nd, 2009, 11:52 AM
I think that feelings are valid, even the ones that we don't want to accept as appropriate. It is the actions that we can control that show us for what we are. As long as you don't exhibit the same behavior towards her as she did to you, I don't see anything unusual about what you are feeling now.

Corvis Canis Latrans
September 2nd, 2009, 11:56 AM
No. You're not wrong for feeling that way.

Might be wrong to play tit for tat and do to her the same that was done to you, but nothing wrong with just feeling.

When something unjust has been done to you, there's relief when karma bites the other person back, and vindication. I think its natural and normal to feel a little bit of pleasure in that.

It sounds like she might have had the attitude as a way of trying to convince herself that the good material circumstances were worth the price of the dishonesty of the situation....by emphasizing how great she was to you, it sounds like she may have been trying to convince herself, and it all came crashing down.

:hugz: Just don't play her game and you're fine (though in your place I might be sorely tempted....).

Ariste
September 2nd, 2009, 12:07 PM
yeah she asked me yesterday how much we were bringing in and how we manage.. so i told her, but i don't have any intention of treating her the way she treated me.

She didn't know he was stealing the money. I don't know where she thought the money was coming from. Steve thinks she and my brother are hiding a bad relationship and she's jealous of ours and that's why she's like that.

WitchJezebel
September 2nd, 2009, 12:11 PM
I think that feelings are valid, even the ones that we don't want to accept as appropriate. It is the actions that we can control that show us for what we are. As long as you don't exhibit the same behavior towards her as she did to you, I don't see anything unusual about what you are feeling now.

This +1.

watersprite
September 2nd, 2009, 01:44 PM
Usually that kind of behavior stems from extreme insecurity. As to why the Brother embezzled that money, one can only guess.
I am sorry that this had to happen when she is so pregnant. Committing a crime will get you stopped, one way or the other.
Maybe you two can talk like people again now that her bubble has burst. You can find a time to discuss her behavior after that.
Your feelings are valid. Especially after you had been such good friends. When your head calms down, maybe you show her some kindness that a true friends would show.

*oonagh*
September 2nd, 2009, 02:28 PM
well, sure...as long as you don't wish any ill upon them. it would probably be almost impossible to *not* feel a little internal "serves you right". but, compassion is my recommendation.

Cosmic_dragon
September 2nd, 2009, 04:21 PM
I think its ok to feel how you do. She was being a total jerk to you,for no reason. As she know can see, karma has kicked her butt. They are very lucky with how things turned out, with no jail time being involved.
Hopefully she will learn from this.

Ariste
September 11th, 2009, 03:32 PM
So she had the baby this morning and since she can't hold money over my head anymore she's apparently going to use the baby. Everyone but me has been over to see it and I keep getting pushed back. At this rate I probably won't see it till some time next week because i am busy the next couple days.

Phoenix Blue
September 11th, 2009, 08:21 PM
So recently it was discovered that the reason they were doing so well was because my brother was embezling money from the company he works for. LUCKILY his boss didn't press charges or even fire him. However their savings account is now empty, my brother's pay is being docked and any extra hours he works also goes to paying off the debt, she is very very pregnant and has left her job, and because she was lying about her wages to get unemployment it runs out in 4 weeks and she can't apply for another 6 months.
Well, whaddya know? Sometimes dishonest, greedy bastards really do get their just desserts!

You'd probably be best off cutting your ties with them. No good can come of being associated with them at this point.

Glowy
September 11th, 2009, 08:30 PM
Just let it go- Stay friendly, but not as close as you once were.

swapmeetmomma
September 11th, 2009, 08:42 PM
I really have to agree with phoenix blue. She was cool when she lost all the money, but now shes holding the baby over your head? I dont know you well, but from what ive read and the little we have talked. I can tell your a nice person. Cut them out, stay civil if you do have to see them but the friendship it not worth the stress and belitting is it?