Life-altering Events

[HerbN'Legend]

I just wondering if anyone wanted to post about something that happened to them that was life-altering in a spiritual energy kind of way, not just things like having children, marriages, deaths, etc. Unique events that don't happen to everybody. I was wondering how such an event affected others energy-wise, and how you responded, or how your body responded.

I ask this because one of the big "It'll never happen to me" events happened to me last July. I was working as a restaurant manager and bright and early one Monday morning (on a day I wasn't scheduled to work of course), as I walked out of the building to take the deposit to the bank, I walked into a guy in a ski mask, who knocked me to the ground, stuck his gun to the back of my head, and took the money. He got caught up the street (17 and stupid) and is currently in the slammer, and I never stepped foot back in that restaurant, but I was really at a loss for days as to how to deal with a severly drained life force, it seemed. They were trying to put on "feel-good" drugs but I already felt looped up on my own so I didn't see the point.

My main frustration was not so much that it happened, I mean, hey, now I can say I know what it feels like to be robbed at gunpoint, and I know that I stutter and curse a lot when my life is being threatened, but I was disappointed that I couldn't do anything magickly or self-healing in the days afterward to regain my energy. It gave me a little doubt which I am trying to dispell by maybe hearing from others who may have gone through something similar at some point. Well, even if you haven't, advice from anyone is surely appreciated.

And for the record, I'm not haunted by it or anything, I'm even writing to the kid in jail because he's such a lost soul and he needs guidance. He wrote me a sincere-sounding letter of apology before he was even sentenced.

Thanks all.

~TobyAnn

[Flaire-FireStar]

My b/f died 2 weeks ago.... I guess you could say that I've a new view on life and death... Everything seems so fragile now, though, aside from that, I've no effort to do much magickal workings (to help myself recover, etc)... I've just started to pick up my Tarot cards again, although I'm not ready to start reading any time soon.....I'm just doing a lot of meditating.

Uhm....... I've become closer to the deties, I guess....After I got over being totally p!ssed off, and the "why me" bit, I got back on the saddle.

Mind you, if you saw me IRL, talking to Mike, you'd think I'm completely nuts.... :rolleyes:

[Psyche Ague]

My experience isn't something unhappy. On the contrary, I feel it's made me a better person. Two months ago I decided to go skydiving.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm terrified of heights and planes and falling and death. Why I decided to jump out of a plane, I'll never know. I still can't believe I did it. It was something I'd always wanted to do before I died, but never thought I would.

But as I was falling to the ground - literally dying for 60 seconds - I saw the Earth rising before me, huge and beautiful. All of my egoism and insecurities dissolved instantly. I understood how big the world really is and how beautiful everything in Creation is. Life is a gift we can't afford to waste. To give up everything and almost die but to be saved is to value your life that much more. I've never felt so powerful and yet so helpless in my life.

[ankhesen Sekhmet]

TobyAnn, I don't blame you for that at all. You went through something really scary and hard, and it's ok that you didn't feel like doing something magically right then. In fact, maybe better, since we're often taught not to work magic when physically or mentally we're not at our best - not being strong and secure in those ways makes it harder to be spiritually focused and well. Have you done anything since to help yourself?

In my case I miscarried again in July and the world fell apart - I gave up on spirituality, magic, and belief, entirely. There's a fog of months I only remember as one long day of wanting to be dead - friends I had leaned on turned against me, people I thought knew me went MIA, and I was left alone with nothing but overheard whispers of what people must be thinking and saying. Every car coming was one that could run into us, and when we moved out to a farm with a swamp nearby I spent hours planning a way to die there so no one would ever find me. I though about how I'd rig something up to hang myself, or how I could push myself onto a knife. I would close my eyes, and will my spirit to leave my body.

There was no God, how could there be, and the life I had created was just a hazy illusion of people I thought cared and beliefs in Gods that never existed that should've given me hope.

I died inside.

All that was left was my love for my parents and my fiance, and from there I had to make a new beginning. I had to be strong for them, as they mourned their lost child and grandchild too.

I had to make my zep tepi - a new beginning full of hope and possibilities, where what has happened is not forgotten or lost, but accepted and moved from. With the help of Kemetic netjer (Gods) I realized I could find the strength within my self. Sekhmet destroys appropriately - what had been destroyed and lost I still mourn, but realize that from there I had to raise myself from the ashes. And so, in the past few weeks, that is what I've done.