Fielding questions from a 4 yo...

[Faery-Wings]

....soon to be 5.

Here I am icing cupcakes for my son's b-day party and he comes into the kitchen asking me all of these questions about God. He was holding his sisters Rosary beads ( I just explained in another post how she uses them as a necklace :) ) I guess my mom was explaining the Christian God to my kids, which is fine as long as she is not telling them that is who they have to pray to.

My son is asking me who God is, what he looks like, is he real or pretend. and so on. I told him that there are some people who believe in God and some believe in a Lady God, called a Goddess. And that others believe in many different things and that is all ok. I told him when he gets older he can choose what he wants to believe. His job, now, is to learn to be a good person and to repsect the world around him. I am so new to my Path that I can't teach him more than that. I also don't want him going to kdg in Sept and saying stuff that he heard that might make school difficult for him. Last night at dinner, my husband and I were talking a bit about religion, He said he does not want my beliefs to be kept a secret with the kids, which is good, but....

Ugh. I just don't know what will be best for them.

What have you all done with your kids? What seems to work best with explaining to them?

BB

Chris

[Emy]

Hi

I don't have any kids so I can't really advise you on what to say or do... but I believe you should tell your children what you believe, but you know make it natural, don't tell the whole story at once... maybe the next time you are discussing religion you could tell them what you believe... and then gradually tell them more, I mean tell your children little by little, as Holidays come up you can talk a little about them...

However I do understand your concern for what others might say when your son starts kdg. There isn't really that much you can do about it, lets just pray that all parents have been trying to teach their children to be as tolerant and accepting of others, as you have tought your children...


Blessed be

[Yvonne Belisle]

I think explaining to him about some of the different views is good. You may want to have a talk with your Mom about what information you want him to get she may not respect your wishes but it's worth a shot. I'd try something along the lines of I want the joy of teaching him religion it's worth a shot.

[Alphyna]

I think what you responded with to him when he initially asked was perfect. Isn't that the main idea throughout most of the world? Respect and understanding woven with love. My son is only 19 mths, but now I have a beter idea of what to say when he asks. Thank you
Brightest Blessings, Alphyna

[Yvonne Belisle]

Welcome to Mystic Wicks grab a lemonaid and a comfy couch/chair thingy. Jump in to the conversations we need you :) Be careful of the SPAM we don't know what year it is.:D

[Faery-Wings]

Thanks everyone for letting me know I was on the right track. It kind of took me by surprise :)

Welcome Alphyna- hope you are enjoying the goodies on the Porch!

Chris

BB

[Yvonne Belisle]

It sounds like you are doing great. You might want to pm Celtic_angel and ask her how she has blended Catholisism with Paganism to find a middle ground she is comfortable with. If your son is being raised seeing both out looks it may give you a glimpse of something similar to what he may do when he's old enough to understand all of it. Just remember that even if he does blend the two when he gets older his path will still be different from hers. I just think that she may be able to give you some pointers on what questions were the hardest for her to resolve so you have some ideas for the future.

[Celtic_Angel]

Hi! :sunny: Yvonne said I might be able to help you out. I hope that I can live up to that. :p If you have any questions e-mail or pm me and I will do my best! :) Sounds like you are doing just fine though!

C_A

[Lavender]

I've been following this thread quite closely...I would love it if you continue here :) if you don't mind sharing...I think this is a topic that many of us are going through or will be going through & would be great to see how others are handling their kid's questions & such.

My son is now 11 & at the age of 5, decided that he doesn't believe in God & that the bible is full of inconsitancies & contridictions. (no kidding). This was much to my parent's dismay...they're BC (born again christians). They felt it was my duty to make SURE my son goes to church, pray, & all the rest. Over the years, I've encouraged my son to learn about whatever religions he's interested & have tried to answer his questions the best I can & without my own biases. It's really hard to do. I've always told him that he shouldn't discount what other people believes in just because he doesn't agree. The thing to do is to learn & form your own opinions. What ever he decides, I hope that I have taught him to be openminded & caring..whether it be christian, buddism, wiccan, or whatever. I'd like to think that even if our paths are different, he will not judge me for my beliefs. That is what I would like to teach my son.

[Mariposa De La Luna]

Wow wildchild, you sound like you're doing great! you too chyssi1.

My delema with my daughter, now 8, is that we didn't really have any religion until recently. We did raise her to be tolerant and respectful. We try to give her an apreciation of the Earth. Now she has gone with us to a couple of circles but doesn't have any questions. I find it kind of wierd. I guess its because she has no basis to ask questions of religion from. She's a very accepting child. Kind of an "oh well" attitude. She does like Pagan music though and is often singing it in the house and car. I have a feeling that is where she'll learn and develop her beliefs. I don't know if I should stop and teach her or wait for her to ask seeing as she's older. I also don't know if I should raise my son Pagan, 1 yr at the end of the month. Most of us were forced into a religion as children and I don't know if I should do it to him. My daughter has been raised not saying prayers or attending church or circle. I don't know if that was a wise decision. She has problems going to sleep and I think prayer might help her but its hard to fine a nice one with the proper rythnm for a child to remember. Hail Mary and Our Father have a beat that make them easier to learn and I find that lacking in alot of stuff I see. I am also not that talented and could never figure out the fine points of poetry.

[Yvonne Belisle]

Have you thought of taking her to different churches to see what is out there or at least telling her of them? Researching the different ones to learn what makes them different can be fun for both of you.

[Lavender]

Sometimes, some of the other religions & cultures have festivals & special holidays. We love going to those. It's a great way for kids to learn...and there's usually great food as well. :)

[Faery-Wings]

http://www.amysticalgrove.com/ThePaganFamilyParent_Index.shtml

It has several pages of How and what to Teach Children, as well as some rituals for kids.

Hope this helps.

BB

Chris
:sunny:

[Eveningthief]

I think you explained the situation to your 5 year old very well.

I too, have a five year old son who is starting to ask me questions about God, Angels, etc. And the way you had talked about it with your child is basically the way I have with mine.


Sunflower

[Semele]

This is a topic that has come up quite frequently around our house. Our son just turned 5 in May and he can name all the elements. Only because we include him in some rituals. We only tell him simple generalizations right now and that seems to satisfy him.

His puppy, Elmo, died last summer and my little sister was here and she told him he went to heaven. She works very closely with children with emotional/developmental problems. She is a Christian, a very tolorant one who often participates in pagan celebrations with us. I didn't mind her telling him that at all because it seemed to ease him a little. We toyed briefly with the idea of telling him Elmo ran away but quickly dismissed that. We figured it was a good oportunity to explain the concept of death...I believe those were her words.:rolleyes: I was not too keen on introducing him to that but better with a pet than Gramndma or someone else close to him.

Anyway he accepted it and didn't ask any more questions. We have told him generally that the sun is God watching over him and the moon is Goddess who watches over him at night. He likes that explanation. Well one night out of the blue I told him to get ready for bed because the moon was coming up and the sun going down...our ritual for bedtime! He said, "Is Elmo in the sun?"
I said of course not...why would you think that. He said "aunt Chelle said he was with God" So I had to backtrack a little and try to explain about God being everywhere. Not sure if he understood but he was soon talking about his pillows. Thats the good thing about 5 year olds...no attention span. Gives us parents a chance to think!!

He is very Earth friendly though. He may be the only 5 year old in the world who goes around picking up trash and cigarette butts and trying to find a trash can.

Whew... long winded tonight!!! I guess we all learn as we go because just like religion, all children are very different.

Semele

[Litha]

If there is a unitarian meeting places, very often they include many of the religious outlooks, many pagan friendly. I think the website is CUUPS.com. I have no children of my own and my darling is agnostic; should be an interesting road before me, I'll keep my eyes peeled for the rest of the posts on this subject!

[Lucidia]

i think it's important to let children learn about all different paths. although we may think it's best for them to walk a certain way... i think taking the time to show them all their options will help them make a mature and intelligent decision (even at a young age). it takes years to really develop spirituality sometimes... and certain concepts are hard for children to grasp. patiently educating them reguarding the historical aspects of the different religions and beliefs of the world will help them respect and understand the people they will encounter through their whole life, and may help them find a path that suits their energy more comfortably than what we personally may follow.

my mother tried to raise me christian... had me saying "jesus loves me" before i could possibly have understood the bible enough to understand what i was saying at all. Later on.. i realize that it would have been a lot better for me if I had been given a chance to know about other religions than the ones my parents chose...

[Dria El]

It sounds like you did a great job to me, Chrissi.

My older 2 (now 7 and 10) have been asking questions for at least a couple of years now. There's been lots of death in my family in the last few years which affords lots of opportunity to talk about death and dying, the cycles of life, where they go, how that relates to the different religions, deity, and how each religion views deity, and a whole lot of other nameless questions I can't remember now. What I've always done is when they ask me a question is give them as many answers as I can. Meaning, I [try to] give them the most well rounded view of religions and how those religions views on that subject are. I make sure they know what my beliefs are but stress that mine aren't the only ones out there, everyones are valid for them, and they can choose whatever religion feels right for them. I do these for the holidays too.

I hope this makes sense. It IS late. :)