Find myself struggling to relate to other Wiccans...

[Galen]

It could just be me, but I've been finding it increasingly difficult to relate or take other Wiccan people I've encountered seriously. I could be beating on a dead horse here...but it seems like there are so many folks out there who simply participate in the faith because it's "new, edgy, and cool."

I've found an increasing number of people who swear that Wicca is a faith that goes back thousands of years or just small, incorrect things...my mind is bouncing around from a lack of sleep to really pinpoint each and every issue, but I think most would catch on to what I mean.

Have any of you ran into people like this? If so, how'd you deal with them? I find myself wanting to smack them with a newspaper and tell them to go read something other than a Wicca 101 book.

[AmberMaiden]

I run into this all the time. If any of those people actually picked up a book and read they would be really shocked and just how much information they have wrong on Wicca.

Maybe its because I'm in a teaching coven so we really have to know our stuff when students come along LOL

[Ben Gruagach]

There are misinformed people, willfully ignorant people, and plain old nuts and flakes in every group with more than a few dozen people. Having one thing in common like one's religion doesn't mean that you will have anything else meaningful in common.

I think the best reaction to people who clearly have a lot of misconceptions (regardless the topic) is to suggest to them a good book that clears things up -- and if you don't want to go so far as to do that, just smile and move along.

[AmberMaiden]

That is alot of what my coven does. We also run a meetup group and we get alot of young ones that think all we do is spells and magick and we're just like the show charmed. Once they see that we are normal people with families and jobs and no superhero powers then they start to ask what Wicca really is about. Some stay around, some dont. But I like to educate people and I have no problems clearing up mis-conceptions or steering them the right direction on how to get decent information

[Weatherly]

It could just be me, but I've been finding it increasingly difficult to relate or take other Wiccan people I've encountered seriously. I could be beating on a dead horse here...but it seems like there are so many folks out there who simply participate in the faith because it's "new, edgy, and cool."

I've found an increasing number of people who swear that Wicca is a faith that goes back thousands of years or just small, incorrect things...my mind is bouncing around from a lack of sleep to really pinpoint each and every issue, but I think most would catch on to what I mean.

Have any of you ran into people like this? If so, how'd you deal with them? I find myself wanting to smack them with a newspaper and tell them to go read something other than a Wicca 101 book.

I understand your frustration! I meet so many people that just don't listen, or care, or even know what they are talking about.

I suggest either trying to educate them or just listen. I usually just smile and nod.

[Incendia]

There are misinformed people, willfully ignorant people, and plain old nuts and flakes in every group with more than a few dozen people. Having one thing in common like one's religion doesn't mean that you will have anything else meaningful in common.

http://dragboatalley.com/ubb/graemlins/1132ditto.gif
In the end, all that matters is your relationship with your gods...and what you get out of your religion.

[Lunacie]

It could just be me, but I've been finding it increasingly difficult to relate or take other Wiccan people I've encountered seriously. I could be beating on a dead horse here...but it seems like there are so many folks out there who simply participate in the faith because it's "new, edgy, and cool."

I've found an increasing number of people who swear that Wicca is a faith that goes back thousands of years or just small, incorrect things...my mind is bouncing around from a lack of sleep to really pinpoint each and every issue, but I think most would catch on to what I mean.

Have any of you ran into people like this? If so, how'd you deal with them? I find myself wanting to smack them with a newspaper and tell them to go read something other than a Wicca 101 book.

There have been people like that around since long before I became a Wiccan, which is about 20 years ago. It's nothing new. More people are looking into Wicca which means the number of people who think it's "new, edgy and cool" are growing just as fast as those who take the time to learn about Wicca, and about it's history. I don't know if the percentages are really that different now than they were 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago.

Thing is, the ones who don't "get" it are the ones who are most likely to be noisy about it. So those are the ones that get noticed the most. I doubt you could get away with smacking them with a newspaper, but having a recommendation of a good book would be helpful. Maybe something like The Circle Within by Dianne Sylvan (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=wicca+circle). Some will listen, some won't. That's their choice to make.

[Shanti]

http://dragboatalley.com/ubb/graemlins/1132ditto.gif
In the end, all that matters is your relationship between you and your gods...and what you get out of your religion.
:thumbsup:

So true!!!!

[MonSno_LeeDra]

Galen wrote : It could just be me, but I've been finding it increasingly difficult to relate or take other Wiccan people I've encountered seriously.

I am not a Wiccan though what I find is that the more we have difficulty relating to another the more we find they do not meet our expectations.

I think one has to ask themselves honestly just what is a Wiccan to them? To many to be non-initiated makes you a non-Wiccan. It is all driven by what your expectations and ideals of what a Wiccan are. If they do not meet those ideals then of course you shall have difficulty taking them serious.

I could be beating on a dead horse here...but it seems like there are so many folks out there who simply participate in the faith because it's "new, edgy, and cool."

Perhaps, but to many of my generation your statement is what we have seen with each generation that has come behind us. We were coven bound or trad bound with initation to advance and learn. The current generation seem's to hold many tales of ecclectic demands which make them difficult to relate to.

New, Edgy, Cool same old song and dance. It came before you and shall repeat after you.

I've found an increasing number of people who swear that Wicca is a faith that goes back thousands of years or just small, incorrect things...my mind is bouncing around from a lack of sleep to really pinpoint each and every issue, but I think most would catch on to what I mean.

Again it's all perspective driven. Certain rites and holidays do seem to go back hundreds of years or more. Depending upon perspective. Certain historical events are always cherry picked as to what part is used and what is removed. Then more ecclectic the movement it seem's the more cherry picked variables one finds in the mix.

Heck look at the very thread on this site that is ongoing about Lilith. Who is right and who is wrong? What about the ones that say none of it matters, it's all about how she is viewed today that matters.

Have any of you ran into people like this?

Almost every day in one shape or another.

If so, how'd you deal with them?

Talk and explain my position. Does it matter that they believe or not? I do not think so for unless one is in an oath bound pathway it will change day to day depending upon what part they want to incorporate into their new practice.

I find myself wanting to smack them with a newspaper and tell them to go read something other than a Wicca 101 book.

Yep been that way with each grouping that has come down the pike since "Paganism" and "Wicca" moved into the open. Coming from a fam trad our persceptions are different I think. Wicca 101 book, what flavor of Wicca shall you tell them to read? Whose version of what a Wiccan is shall you tell them to recognize? Heck, define what a Wiccan is for today's are a long way from what I was taught in the 70's and 80's.

[talamh]

I usually ask where they get their information and then ask if they would like to borrow a book, read it, and come back and talk. If they are genuinely interested, they do and we do and many good things have grown from such. But if the person isn't interested in reading a book then generally it would not be in any way helpful to anyone to pursue it further. I generally recommend Starhawk's "Spiral Dance" as a good place to begin.

[Circe3]

People want to legitimize their beliefs and most believe the older the religion the more ligitimate it is. You can't let anothers persons mis-information ruin something that brings you joy. I take it with a grain of sand, they annoy me but they exist and I can't make it otherwise. So, I just worship how I worship and leave them to their misconceptions unless they ask me to inform them somehow.

[Louisvillian]

You don't think it would be a better thing to combat ignorance head on?

[Nox_Mortus]

You don't think it would be a better thing to combat ignorance head on?

In some cases yes, in some cases that would be an exercise in futility, it's usually pretty easy to recognize which is which.

[Circe3]

You don't think it would be a better thing to combat ignorance head on?

Ignorance quite rarely cares for the effort. They believe what they believe and no matter how many times you tell them the sky is blue they choose to believe it's red. I prefer to save myself the headache.

[Nox_Mortus]

Ignorance quite rarely cares for the effort. They believe what they believe and no matter how many times you tell them the sky is blue they choose to believe it's red. I prefer to save myself the headache.

That applies to people who are willfully ignorant yes, but there are plenty of ignorant and/or misinformed people who are perfectly willing to learn, and as I said before, it's usually easy to tell the two groups apart.

[Circe3]

That applies to people who are willfully ignorant yes, but there are plenty of ignorant and/or misinformed people who are perfectly willing to learn, and as I said before, it's usually easy to tell the two groups apart.

True. I don't exactly meet the second, they seem rare.

[Ben Gruagach]

Working to help clear up misconceptions is definitely worthwhile. The trick though is to not let it get you frustrated or to let it take too much of your energy from actually enjoying your own spiritual path.

Others ruin our enjoyment only if we let them.

[Winter_Witch]

http://dragboatalley.com/ubb/graemlins/1132ditto.gif
In the end, all that matters is your relationship with your gods...and what you get out of your religion.

Wiccan Amen to that!

Well, a lot of people are going to be in for a RUDE awakening when they finally realize that, YEA, this isn't Harry Potter, Charmed, whatever, where you can make dinner cook itself with a flick of your magick wand.

[WolvesDaughter]

Maybe something like The Circle Within by Dianne Sylvan (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=wicca+circle). Some will listen, some won't. That's their choice to make.

I've just found this little gem among all the '101' books the book stores around me insist on stocking...and indeed it is a gem I recommned it to anyone to read no matter how much you 'know'

[Lunacie]

I've just found this little gem among all the '101' books the book stores around me insist on stocking...and indeed it is a gem I recommned it to anyone to read no matter how much you 'know'

I've been recommending that book tool. :thumbsup:

[Tom Terrific]

Well, a lot of people are going to be in for a RUDE awakening when they finally realize that, YEA, this isn't Harry Potter, Charmed, whatever, where you can make dinner cook itself with a flick of your magick wand.

I'd be satisfied if I could just light candles with my finger.

Well, for a while, anyway... :bubbles:

[ninurta2008]

While I've ran into only one wiccan who is like that, it seems like every christian near me is a fundie and has the same problem if they are, they don't know anything about their religions history, I just tend to avoid ignorant people, as they waste my time. Don't let it get to you, there are those who aren't ignorant out there!

[Boomer]

I found myself earlier today meditating with a few freinds of mine. One being Budhist and one being Nihlist I began to tell them about wicca. I even led them in meditating.


Their both quite convinced that wicca is a very real thing. But upon further into our adventure they began asking me to cast spells to light all the candles in my room with nothing but will and "force push" things. I lost hope in them at that point and began explaining to them further about my religion so far and how like many others said. this isnt harry potter

I feel like I just opened a can of worms I shouldnt of, they indeed received visualizations that shook them to the core from meditating. But when they expect jedi skills and pyrokenisis I told them they were SOL

:boing:
Boomer

[Lunacie]

I found myself earlier today meditating with a few freinds of mine. One being Budhist and one being Nihlist I began to tell them about wicca. I even led them in meditating.


Their both quite convinced that wicca is a very real thing. But upon further into our adventure they began asking me to cast spells to light all the candles in my room with nothing but will and "force push" things. I lost hope in them at that point and began explaining to them further about my religion so far and how like many others said. this isnt harry potter

I feel like I just opened a can of worms I shouldnt of, they indeed received visualizations that shook them to the core from meditating. But when they expect jedi skills and pyrokenisis I told them they were SOL

:boing:
Boomer

So, your friends learned that Wicca isn't like the tv show "Charmed", but that it promotes deeper spiritual connections. Sounds like you did a good job. :thumbsup:

[The RedLion]

I also hate the reputation people centered around Wicca have. Our religion has nothing to do with Renaissance Fairs or Lord of the Rings (although I do love them both LOL) but it kind of makes us look bad. And you have these kids coming into it talking about how they can make things glow and all this other BS and it just really makes me angry because we will never be taken seriously. That puts added responsibility on actual Wiccans and Pagans to correct that view. I actually stopped telling people I was Wiccan because of the reputation it has and now tell people I'm Pagan. (that and the fact I dont agree that we cannot do certain things like defensive magick when someone severely crosses us). But I am definitely proud of my religion and I hate when people don't take it seriously.

[Lunacie]

I also hate the reputation people centered around Wicca have. Our religion has nothing to do with Renaissance Fairs or Lord of the Rings (although I do love them both LOL) but it kind of makes us look bad. And you have these kids coming into it talking about how they can make things glow and all this other BS and it just really makes me angry because we will never be taken seriously. That puts added responsibility on actual Wiccans and Pagans to correct that view. I actually stopped telling people I was Wiccan because of the reputation it has and now tell people I'm Pagan. (that and the fact I dont agree that we cannot do certain things like defensive magick when someone severely crosses us). But I am definitely proud of my religion and I hate when people don't take it seriously.

Nah, it only makes us look bad to people who don't love Renaissance Festivals and Lord of the Rings. And who cares about those people anyway? :lol:

I'm not a social creature so I don't get out and talk to people who are getting a false impression of Wicca - although I do run into them online now and then. I try to let them know which things are historically correct about Wicca and which things are fluffy stuff and nonsense.

I can't count the number of times I've explained how the Rede actually works, and how it tells us to use our best judgment in each situation instead of broadly applying some rule or law that may or may not fit that situation. I try to explain in my own words how the Wiccan Rede is more than just two words, "harm none". And sometimes I point them to Catherine Noble's essay (http://wicca.timerift.net/rede.shtml)on the topic.

[The RedLion]

Yeah, I live in a big city so I come across people who have 'fluffy' medieval times obsessed Harry Potter/ Charmed wannabe stereotype ingrained in them. And quite frankly it's annoying trying to defend my religion to so many. Yes i do educate them but when you do it over and over and people get more ridiculous and people say 'I don't believe in Wicca or magick', I simply say 'I didn't ask you to'. And when you actually see these misinformed 'Wiccan' kids in action, oh forget it! And while I totally understand the Rede is up to interpritation, I abandoned the term Wiccan because of what most of the Wiccan community interperits from the Rede. 'Wiccan' is just a new term and I don't like what it's associated with, however I do still practice my religion which could be considered predominantly Wiccan. :D I don't even know if what i said makes sense LOL!

[Lunacie]

Yeah, I live in a big city so I come across people who have 'fluffy' medieval times obsessed Harry Potter/ Charmed wannabe stereotype ingrained in them. And quite frankly it's annoying trying to defend my religion to so many. Yes i do educate them but when you do it over and over and people get more ridiculous and people say 'I don't believe in Wicca or magick', I simply say 'I didn't ask you to'. And when you actually see these misinformed 'Wiccan' kids in action, oh forget it! And while I totally understand the Rede is up to interpritation, I abandoned the term Wiccan because of what most of the Wiccan community interperits from the Rede. 'Wiccan' is just a new term and I don't like what it's associated with, however I do still practice my religion which could be considered predominantly Wiccan. :D I don't even know if what i said makes sense LOL!

Yeah, it makes sense. We clearly hang out with different crowds. I hang out with people who actually have a clue what Wicca is based on instead of reading just one of the latest Wicca 101 books and thinking they know it all.

Love your answer to the doubters and skeptics, "I didn't ask you to believe." :hyper:

[The RedLion]

I'm telling you, I wish there were more educated people here! Maybe you and your friends can move here? :D LOL But yeah, another fun one to say to people is when they say 'I don't believe that' or anything like that, I say 'That's why I said 'I'm Wiccan/Pagan', not 'You're or we're Wiccan/Pagan!'

[Lunacie]

Sorry, not planning to move to Chicago.

But Chicago is bigger than Wichita - seems like you could find a couple of people who have a clue. I found my friends through www.witchvox (http://www.witchvox). Not everyone I've met through that link was great, but that's true no matter where you meet people. And actually, we're spread pretty thin here so some of the people who have taken part in my group have been from towns an hour or more drive away. It's worth driving an hour to meet with people who aren't flakes.

[The RedLion]

Yeah, I've always been pretty solitary. I've only met people who claim to be Wiccan at parties, street fairs and stuff. There was this meeting once a month but it was mostly for the Temple of Set. My partner practices New Orleans Voodoo, and he has an even harder time finding like minded people here LOL! But at least Voodoo seems to not have as demeaning a stereotype as Wicca...