How dumb can one be?

[MonSno_LeeDra]

Please bare with me as I just need to speak this out somewhere vice allowing it to fester within. At the moment I really would love to give my daughter-in-law some wall to wall counseling. It takes a lot to get me pissed but she succeeded real well in that tonight.

A little bit ago I heard my grand-daughter cry out and start crying. I walked into the living room to see what was going on and there is my daughter-in-law telling me she hit her to make her stay awake. Then tries to justify it by saying nothing else was working and that she did not hit her that hard.

Pissed me of royal to say the least. Her daughter has little use for her now and that just further serves to sever the little bit of connection that is there.

My grand-daughter is 3 years old. My daughter-in-law trully has no idea of the darkness that once haunted me and the vindictive streak I have. It takes a lot to get that spark going but she came damn close to it tonight.

My wife has seen the birthmark come out when I am trully pissed and it scared her really bad so I try to hold it in check all the time. Yet at the moment I am really close to letting the serpent rise.

Man I know she is slow but that is simply to much. But I'll be damned if she hits her again!

[Glowy]

That is the dumbest reason I have ever heard for hitting a child!
To keep her awake?? What hugged up kind of parenting is that?
Let her nap, she needs to. Well you are a better person than I. I would have tossed a fit at her. I don't agree with violence towards children, and this was not a slap for bad behaivor.

[Cloaked Raven]

I agree with Glowy... There is NO reason to hit a child at all, and that was one of the dumbest "reasons" I've ever heard.

If she didn't want her daughter taking a nap, she could have easily tried to get her doing something that was high interest to the little girl... Playing with her favorite toys or something. I've done that with my son... It didn't always work but it is a LOT better than hitting the child!!!

[Glowy]

Because a parent wants an over tired, over stimulated child.. great. That will cause unwanted behaivor.

[Shanti]

Sorry but stupid!!
For one thing that was not a reason to inflict any punishment. Punish/hurt a kid because they are tired? Dumb.
Also crying will tire a kid out even faster!!! Talk about counter-productive!!!

I would of had an issue holding back on that one and I am a pacifist.

I wont say kids never need an occasional spanking. Sometimes some just do. But this was just wrong as it served no good at all.

[MonSno_LeeDra]

Glowy wrote: That is the dumbest reason I have ever heard for hitting a child!


Saddly that is not the dumbest one I have heard.



To keep her awake?? What hugged up kind of parenting is that?
Let her nap, she needs to.


What's bad is that the reason behind her action I know. My grand-daughter has been staying up till 12 or 1 almost evey night for the last few days as she is sleeping late in the day. that is a seperate issue me and the wife have been facing.



Well you are a better person than I. I would have tossed a fit at her.


Oh believe me I read the riot act on it and my voice got pretty high.




I don't agree with violence towards children, and this was not a slap for bad behaivor


That's part of what caused me to really spin up.

[thought_on_a_wind]

... I got a black eye when I was about 6 months old from what my mom told me because my grandma didn't believe I was entitled to cry...

I loathe child abuse with every ounce of spirit I have... and will have to pitch in with glowy to a certain extent... except a very animal part of me shows up when I see that kind of "attention".

I've heard a couple excuses that were dumber personally as I was beat and told I did not deserve the family name because I was an idiot who couldn't erase in the correct manner, but hitting a kid just because they're naturally nocturnal is idiocy in it's prime.

... how would this daughter in law like it if she got slapped every time she was dumb "to make her smarter"?? Makes one wonder...

[abrecan]

ill bring the duct tape if you bring the rope :D

[Illumin]

... how would this daughter in law like it if she got slapped every time she was dumb "to make her smarter"?? Makes one wonder...
That is what I would do Thought.

This woman needs to be put in her place... This just exemplifies my belief that people should have to pass a test before they are allowed to bear children.

[wanderer]

Illumin I'm definitely going to have to agree with you on that test, we really should take it up with the president. Everyone willing to march to DC with this one say aye.
AYE!

[Xander67]

No... the way to get that law passed is to beat them at their own game lol
Get the Pres to push for a law prohibiting it that way his own party and the GOP will fall right in line to sabatoge his crusade and viola! Tests mandated :heybaby:

That seems to be how things have been playing out in DC lately :nicetie:

[JadeAmber]

Report her to CPS, if she slaps a child to keep her awake, what does she do to put her to sleep?

[Illumin]

Aye!!

[thought_on_a_wind]

No... the way to get that law passed is to beat them at their own game lol
Get the Pres to push for a law prohibiting it that way his own party and the GOP will fall right in line to sabatoge his crusade and viola! Tests mandated :heybaby:

That seems to be how things have been playing out in DC lately :nicetie:
LOL .... hesitantly shocked/awed QFT

[thought_on_a_wind]

Report her to CPS, if she slaps a child to keep her awake, what does she do to put her to sleep?
There's a slight problem with that in WV... they're very much shying away from taking kids from physically (not sexually thank the gods) abusive situations... or at least in my area that is the case...

now, if the kid had a loving family that tried to make ends meet to such an extreme that the one who had two bachelors (both of which being used as toilet paper by the system regardless the prestigious Alma Mater) walks 30 miles to the other side of town to throw wood and other heavy things around in a lumber yard and then mow/maintain yards just to help make ends meet for a family of five after the system didn't provide enough support to help said family get back on thier feet after a family tragedy/crisis so that a complete overhaul of the house could be afforded once those bachelors could be applied to create the money flow necessary...

Well then, CPS specializes in extricating the children from "unsanitary households" (yes, I've got to rant, sorry... WV politics piss me off, esp. the broken CPS system) but has a "keep the children with the parents" policy for the abusers and neglectors (unless there has been some miraculous rennovation to the system I'm not aware of).

Although maybe I'm wrong, I'd suggest it if it would work...

[Morgane]

I wont say kids never need an occasional spanking. Sometimes some just do. But this was just wrong as it served no good at all.

I couldn't agree more, Shanti.

That would only happen once in my house.

[Xander67]

LOL .... hesitantly shocked/awed QFT

Once in a while I come up with something intelligent to say lol

I agree with JadeAmber..

I was also thinking about this. If she is punishing her child for being tired then wouldn't that effect the learning? or maybe worse if it continues..

I mean ok, at that age children are learning and becoming aware of the world around them.. So my worry is this..

when you punish a child then typically that is supposed to teach them that they are misbehaving.. we all need sleep. it is when the body rests and rejuvinates.. so if you punish a child for being tired wouldnt that possibly damage them psyhologically? I mean for all we know now that child might subconsciously have become traumatised and may have problems later on..

[MonSno_LeeDra]

CPS has been involved in this one. They found no cause for concern about her but they are giving us problems because of our dogs being around the premature twins.

The sad part is that my daughter-in-law is slow herself. They are living with us now and it is a constant struggle to show her how some actions are wrong when she trully does not understand why that is so.

She is signed up for all sorts of counselings and parenting classes. The problem we run into is like what occured about a week ago, she goes to a center to be tested and find out if she is understanding all the things. They give her a test to take but she can't read it. So they send her home saying they can do nothing else for her because they coudn't read the test to her.

Sometimes dealing with her is like dealing with a child that has no idea of why what they did was wrong and you tell them and try to explain it but have to do so over and over to make sure they comprehend it.

Some days we (me and my wife) spend all day running interference to try and help her understand.

The really hard part of the whole mess is if it was a person doing so from shere malice then I could strike them in a heart beat. But to try and see what is best for the kids but try and help her to understand the whys and why not's of it makes it so much harder for it is not out of malice that she does it but a lack of ability and comprehension.

But she has learnt that lesson. A smacking will not be tolerated nor is it an acceptable means of keeping her daughter awake.

But I swear I wish I had my degree in Special Needs and childhood parenting vice History and sociology now.

[thought_on_a_wind]

Once in a while I come up with something intelligent to say lol

I agree with JadeAmber..

I was also thinking about this. If she is punishing her child for being tired then wouldn't that effect the learning? or maybe worse if it continues..

I mean ok, at that age children are learning and becoming aware of the world around them.. So my worry is this..

when you punish a child then typically that is supposed to teach them that they are misbehaving.. we all need sleep. it is when the body rests and rejuvinates.. so if you punish a child for being tired wouldnt that possibly damage them psyhologically? I mean for all we know now that child might subconsciously have become traumatised and may have problems later on..
which leads back into my initial postulation in a way...

Should that daughter in law get slapped "to make her smarter" ... maybe she'd subconscioulsy realize she's a bitch and quit being dumb... Of course I highly doubt it, but you never know.

My thoughts and energy go out to the kid, however, as I know the type of trauma you are talking about Xander... I was beat quite a bit because I din't conform to my fathers concept of intelligence... I used to get beat for not doing my homework correctly... for years I thought is was well beyond my capabilities to be "smart" or "intelligent"... it's taken many years just to realize all of my I.Q's are above average, but certain ones are at the very top... I shudder to think what would happen had sleep taken the place of homework...

[Xander67]

I can't believe they had a problem with the dogs being around the babies! If anything they would protect them I would think. Maybe you can open a discussion on this in the parenting thread as well to get ideas.