Reading Request

[Mithrea]

I am at a place right now where it seems like *every* aspect of my life is at a crossroads and I am having trouble choosing a direction. I'd really like a general reading if anyone has the time or inclination. I'll gladly reciprocate when I'm feeling better.

[AmbivalentMirage]

I'll be glad to do a reading for you. I'll probably do the reading tomorrow, though. :)

[Azure]

I will be happy to do one this evening as well, if you'd like a second perspective :)

[Mithrea]

Yeah. Perspective. I need a lot of that :lol:

Thanks guys.

[Azure]

Okay, here's what I got. I usually draw three cards for a general reading by shuffling the deck and dividing it into three, than turning over each one and looking at the card beneath.

The cards that appeared for you were the Queen of Pentacles, the Ace of Wands, and the King of Wands. I used the Robin Wood deck, if you want to look up the images.

I take the Queen to be you - in this deck, this card is to me always representative of someone who is capable, somewhat artistic, and always busy with her hands. She is sitting under a tree on this card, quietly embroidering her pentacle. However, the sense that I got from this card wasn't so much peace and restfulness as it was monotony - perhaps a number of skills, all useful, that you don't feel are being put to good use, or frustration with a current project. . . it's almost a too much of a good thing moment - your many skills make it harder, rather than easier, to focus on what you want or need to be doing right now, and there's a vague dis-satisfaction that builds from that. There's also a sense of isolation that I get.

The Ace of Wands, however, tells me that there's good energy and focus for all that creativity on it's way - you just have to wait a little longer, and you're going to start a new cycle, perhaps a new project or even a whole new cycle in your life - and it's going to lead you to exciting new places. Since it's an ace specifically, I think that probably means that the change is close at hand - perhaps coming with the new year, or not too far after.

The King of Wands doesn't suggest a particular person to me immediately - it seems more a further expression of the great burst of energy headed your way, and the ability to channel that into making something you want happen. It strongly supports that Ace, and seems to imply to me that you have the wherewithal to meet the challenges heading your way and make something really interesting out of them.

A further thought on that card though - the King of Wands to me in this deck always suggests a burst of sexual energy as well - I don't know whether you're in a relationship or not, but given that this particular card showed up, I think that you may either meet someone new who really kindles your interest or may renew a relationship you though was declining.

Hope this is helpful. . . Let's see what others turn up :)

[Mithrea]

Wow. Azure that is really helpful. You nailed exactly how I am feeling with the first card--EXACTLY. I just finished an MA and the big question is: What now? The problem is I love philosophy as much as I want to create and there are no programs in this country that give you a good dose of both--not in the areas I'm interested in. I found a program in Europe that I can pay for myself if I can just get a full time job here but the college where I teach is reluctant to hire anyone full time (even temporarily) without a PhD. Sort of a Catch 22. My age is really hurting me there too. Plus all of the Philosophy programs here are so stuffy and traditional--not what I'm interested in at all. Looking through the curriculum for most degrees, I rarely find much current theory. No deconstruction. No postmodernism. No Baudrillard.

Meanwhile, I went last weekend to visit the film school at Ohio University and it turned out to be a total bust. I was told by the screenwriting professor (who I thought I was meeting for an informal brunch and didn't have my guard up because I was told that she was sooo cool.) that she would tank me on the interiew if I applied because she didn't think I was physically capable or passionate enough about filmmaking. She's dead wrong on both counts. How she made that decision after five minutes, I'll never figure out but she has devastated my friend that is in her second year of the program now. She's almost immobilized with grief.

I need a terminal degree so I can teach (and I love teaching--LOOOOVE it) but I also want to keep writing AND the only way my films are ever going to get made is if I make them myself. I already see life in frame and I'm a story teller at heart (I get it from my grandfather ;) ). Teaching would give me the money to get this stuff in order but I need to get this stuff in order to be able to make enough money at teaching to do it.

So how can I do it all? I don't know. I can't see my way through to the end and in another week, I'll have missed all the application deadlines.

The Ace gives me hope. My biggest fear is that I'll just get stuck because I can't decide and end up teaching as an adjunct getting paid less than minimum wage until I lose my house and my care and everything I own. I am so tired of what's behind me. I really need to move on to the next phase so to speak. The Ace gives me hope that I will be able to do that

And the sexual energy you are seeing--for me that's actually not sexual energy, that's just a really intense creative drive. I get that a lot in readings, etc. Though, it would be nice if it was a relationship. The way I got through my MA in 14 months was by swearing off men so I wouldn't get sidetracked and I'm having a really hard time undoing that.

Wow. I've rambled on quit a bit. What I really mean to say is THANK YOU Azure. That was exactly what I needed. You've given me a lot to think about (obviously).

[Azure]

Glad I could be of help, Mithrea (and don't discount what I said about the King of Wands - when that card shows up, it tends to mean there's someone waiting in the wings ;) ).