Narrow-minded friends

[Artemis84]

Why do people refuse to be open to new ideas? My group of friends are all Christian (Baptist, Lutheran, Non-denominational and Catholic). They found out I was a Wiccan about a year ago and they refuse to listen to me explain. They ask me to explain. But every time I give them a fact, they begin to bombard me with Biblical progoganda! They think that since Wicca has no "holy book of written rules" that it is not legitament! They say that it's Satanism, butt they won't read anything about it because they say it will "bring them down." Does anyone else have problems like this with their freinds?

[Yvonne Belisle]

Sadly enough you will find that in all walks of life even ours. The only thing you can do is keep trying or give up and move on to the next group of people. If your friendship with these people is good everywhere else then agree to disagree on religion and don't get drawn into the discussion. Sometimes simply letting go is the best choice. I recently had to remind myself of this fact.

Welcome to Mystic Wicks grab a lemonade and pull up a comfy chair/couch thingy. You will make lots of new friends here.

[Elaine]

I have this problem with my husband!! We were both raised Catholic and he ...although he isn't practicing...is very Christian still...(he doesn't identify as Catholic because he disagrees with some of the stuff in the Catholic church!) whenever I bring up Wicca he says that I worship satan and whenever I bring up a point ...he throws it back at me with some kind of biblical response....we don't talk about religion very much.....I come in to work and study wicca and come on here and talk to all of these wonderful people about it....and one of my friends who is not really sure of her religion but is very open to every religion..I talk to her about it.....I just leave religion alone with my husband....if these friends are really good friends to you and this is your only difference of opinion...consider yourself lucky.....and keep in mind that everyone has to be different otherwise the world would be a boring place!!! If I were you I would just leave the subject alone when it comes to those particular people and leave the religious discussions for people that will at least listen to you....

I hope what I said actually made sense...I tend to babble without really knowing what I'm saying....:D....basically...I know what you're going through:)

[Fawn]

I do not find that "true" friends would be so selfish but if you feel they are then let me suggest this--keep quiet about your beliefs. This goes against what I personally believe but hey I'm not about to tell anyone who to be pals with.
When religon comes up just state (calmly and and mater-of-factly) "I choose not to get into a conversation with you about this for we have different beliefs and as your friend; I value our friendship too much to risk hurting it by discussing this topic."
Now any friend should respect that. If not then--kick them!!8O 8O

[cybele]

I am with Fawn. Unless religion is the usual topic of your gatherings, I would not offer information by simply explaining that you don't feel comfortable sharing your joy on that topic, since it seems to make people so insecure and fearful. That would be a medium bitchy response, so you may just want to stick with the more polite responses that others suggested. If they are close friends, people you respect and love, perhaps you can learn about the different forms of Christianity from them. It never hurts to have knowledge and hear other views. I myself draw the line at people hurling bible quotes willy-nilly ( or pell-mell ) :p . It always seems to me to be a sign of someone who cannot think for themselves, people who overuse quotes. I would recommend having the patience of Job and the forgivness of a saint and showing them the fallacy of the "Satan Worship/Evil" label by your actions. If they are worth it......

Bless,
Cybele

[moonmagick4]

I guess you will just have to talk to your new friends here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tigerwallah]

My friends are all creatives and are very open-minded. I find that most of what they say about artists are true. So, find yourself a group of creatives. They tend to accept anything with ease and usually do not judge.

I openly announce my faith whenever it comes up, sometimes to get it out of the way if it doesn't. Over the weekend, I told my boss' wife, who I was developing a frienship with. I am still unsure of the outcome, but whatever it is it is.

[LaDaya]

Welcome to you...

Unfortunately and sadly... Many people will not listen or keep an open mind. This is not true of everyone but it is true of alot of people. There isn't much you can do. If you and your friends can agree to keep religion out of it than you can continue with your friendship and just not discuss your religious beliefs... On the other hand if they won't allow religion to stay out of the conversation you may have to choose between your friends and your religion. That is what happened in my case. I was a faithful well... somewhat faithful...) attendee of a UPC for several years. When I chose not to follow that path anymore they refused to speak with me anymore and I lost my friends.... sometimes I miss them but I know that I wouldn't have wanted to give up the life I've found since then to keep a few people as my friends. Only you can decide how important they are to your existence and how much you want to keep them as friends.

[Amora]

Why would you call people who won't even listen you your friends? I don't have to believe in everything my friends believe in but I do accept their beliefs as valid as they do mine; wether they choose to believe the same things I do is totally up to them. The people you described do not fit the profile of a friend to me.

[Jesse]

Being and christo-wiccan I can understand the part about others not wanting to listen to your point of view without bombarding you with reasons why it cant be true :D No I am not going to defend my beliefs, but it is sad that both Christian and Wiccan alike cannot respect the beliefs of others without tearing apart others faith. There is so much good in both it is sad that many can't see it.

[loopy]

That sucks, Jesse. :( You must feel so alone. :( I'm with Fawn and Amora-- if your friends truly aren't willing to listen to you, they probably aren't the best of friends to keep.

However, if there are one or two that you consider yourself really close to, and you feel comfortable enough to, try asking them to get together for a talk on the subject--a talk, not a debate, where you can both explain your views uninterrupted--make that a ground rule. No interruptions, no rolling eyes, no vomiting at each other's words. ;) My friends and I sometimes have little interventions when something is really getting to us, and it helps afterwards very much. Especially cause then we're free to bake cookies. :D

Luckily for me, my two best friends are Buddhist and Catholic, and are very open-minded.

[Tigerwallah]

Originally posted by Jesse
Being and christo-wiccan I can understand the part about others not wanting to listen to your point of view without bombarding you with reasons why it cant be true :D No I am not going to defend my beliefs, but it is sad that both Christian and Wiccan alike cannot respect the beliefs of others without tearing apart others faith. There is so much good in both it is sad that many can't see it.

Well, I guess that each religion is dependant on the other religion being wrong. A Christian believes that there is only one god, and that it is blasphemous to believe in more than one. I suppose accepting Paganism would feel dangerousy like accepting that their god may not be the only one. Where as for Pagans, we can not accept the one god theory for obvious reasons. I have very good Christian friends, however. We have intense religious debate, but it does not effect our friendship. If we celebrate the differences in eachother, we can keep our friends no matter what their beliefs.

[Methanespirit]

Many adherents to the Christian religion are steeped in superstition. They will openly defy any one who opposes their ideas about Christ Jesus and the traditions of the Church. Strangely enough, many of those who claim to be Christians are confused about the social aspects of the Church and the path of discipleship. The two are definitely not the same. Most consider themselves Christians because they have been socially accepted in a congregation. But this does not make one a Christian any more than one claiming to be an auto mechanic because he owns tools for that purpose. If one studies the life of Jesus, it will be immediately found that He was where he was needed to be a friend to comfort, to instruct, to perform a miracle healing, or whatever. He never discriminated against anyone because of their beliefs. In fact, He never mentioned much about their private beliefs to anyone. The only people who Jesus openly exposed for what they were was the (self-righteous) religious leaders of His time, the Pharisees. Nothing has changed in organized religion since then because human nature has not changed from the beginning. What most of the church congregations preach is a social associaion is usually for economic purposes, claiming that God has accepted them because of that association. The truth is, however, that being a true Christian is a Spiritual association with the Redeemer and that Christian discipleship is often a difficult and lonely path made worse by the religionists. The "churchies" will always persecute the disciples, because they don't belong to their social group. This problem is nothing new. In fact, you can read of the same persecutions from the apostle Saint Paul, himself in the epistle to the Galatians, chapter 4 verses 21 through 31. The real contention will be found, however, is not so much due to a social association but whether we find association (as erroneously believed) with our Creator through our own deeds, or whether, as Biblically stated, we accept the gift of eternal life, as a gift- something that cannot be earned. Visit a Christian chat room and you will see that most believe they are acceptable to God because of their attempt to observe a righteous law. (Compare this with Galatians 2:16) The advice is correct, given on this thread by the faithfuls to Wicca. It is best not to disclose your beliefs to the Churchies and religionists. I have learned this the hard way over the years. In fact, I lost a job years ago because I told them that I was an Astrological researcher. They could not put the two together, being a Christian and also being a "star-gazer", any more than their rejection of the fact that the so-called Three Wise Men who came to see the child Jesus, were in truth Iranian Astrologers. And how did they know when to come to Israel to see the promised Messiah? Obviously, from teachings of the prophet Daniel some 588 years before the time of Christ, as there is no other recorded association with Israel and Persia through a prophet and teacher of God.

[clef0628]

Lucky for me my Christian friend (I only have one) understands. It is hard to understand why people's mind are not open. They open they to science and stuff, but when it comes to God, they close their mind. I turned away from God by asking why. A sometimes wonder if they do not want to understand us, for fear of lossing what they believe. I have always believed that ture freinds will understand you no matter what. Though, I do try not to bring up the subject. It is hard cause, I would like everyone to know. I use try those on line match maker things. Never got that many answers mostly, becuse i'm open about what I believe. You meight lose a few friends, but you will make new ones with people who understand you truly.

Steve

[Wyrdsister]

I do have friends that I know would be very intollerant or fearful of the fact that I'm Wiccan, so I've never really brought it up with them. I'm still very much in the broom closet (which can present it's own problems) so I haven't had to deal with much face-to-face discrimination yet as I might have if I was completely open with my beliefs.

For now, I am content to stay in the broom closet. :)

Wyrdsister

[Acie]

I had to drop most of my "friends" that reacted just as you said yours did. They wanted for me to understand where they were coming from and acted like they cared where I was coming from but as you stated, when it was my time to share that which I believed I was constantly interrupted and constantly told that I was wrong, "The Bible said so!!!". For those who can not accept me, need not concern me.