How did you raise your kids?

[Artemis84]

Okay, I'm only 18 and I know it is a little early for me to be thinking about kids. But it came to mind anyway.

I was thinking what I would do if I ever had kids. And then I got to wondering if I would bring them up in the Wiccan faith from birth, or if I would explain it when they're older. Or should I teach them about Wicca at all?

I'd really like to get some different views on this. What have you found to work for you? What are the perks & downfalls?

Graci!

[Faery-Wings]

Since I have only been Pagan for the past two years, my kids started their lives in a house with no religion. They were Christened in the Catholic church, but that was for my family. I simply considered it a chance for my kids to get blessings from the family while keeping my dad happy too. :)

What I have been doing lately is incorporating my beliefs in a simple way for them. I tend to not use a lot of terminology and use the phrase, "Some people believe..." This is more for my own protection (closet Witch;)) and as well as their own.

I of course, want them to choose on their own, when they are ready. But I also want them exposed to an extent of what I do and believe. They are still young ( 4 and 6) so I have plenty of time.

I think there are some other threads somewhere onthis topic. I'll see if I can find them and bump them for you.

[Faery-Wings]

Here are two to get started:
http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=14788[url]

*****
[url]http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=18279

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=17342

[Faery-Wings]

And one more:

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=14788

[D Witch]

Ds is 3 3/4, and this is really the first holiday I've started to explain to him... I mostly told him that I was glad that the sun had returned, & that now the days will get longer. We also do Christmas & Santa, but not as a Christian holiday. I'm looking forward to teaching him simple things this year. Starhawk's Circle Round has some great & easy ideas on ways to celebrate Pagan holidays with your kids!

Also, for general parenting ideas, check out Attachment Parenting...

[Flar's Freyja]

I also was not pagan when I raised my children, and the youngest is 19 now. I was raised Catholic, and a huge issue with me was that while my mother sent us to a Catholic school and forced us to attend church, she only came with us on special occasions such as the Communion, etc. My father was atheist, so he didn't participate at all.

By the time I had kids, I was seeking out other answers. When they were little, we got involved in an Assembly of God and I took them to church and bible studies, etc. My ex-husband was atheist like my father and never attended with us. We attended several other churches over the years. We live in the Bible Belt, so it's common for kids to invite their friends to church. When they were old enough, I let them make their own choices about this. Only the youngest really continued. He attended a Baptist church camp all through high school. A few years ago he decided to be baptized, and although I was headed toward the pagan path at that time, I attended church with him regularly and made a big deal out of his baptism to support him. We found problems within that particular church and stopped attending.

The results are that the oldest appears to be agnostic - but I can't tell because he never discusses religion. I assume he does have some sort of spiritual foundation. The middle one attends church sporadically. The youngest attended Wiccan informational meetings while in basic military training AND got very involved in their church services. I attended the service with him when I went to his graduation and enjoyed his holy-rollin' behavior! He was rockin' out, singin' and clappin' his hands during the hymns. He told me that while he understands a lot more about my path (I've explained to him that I'm not Wiccan, but pagan) and doesn't have a problem with it, he has chosen to remain Christian and I'm fine with that. I continue to show him my support and bought him a beautiful lambskin bible cover last Yule.

It's my opinion that we should expose our kids to our own paths and let them make their choices about which path they would like to follow by letting them take advantage of opportunities to learn about other religions. I feel that a spiritual foundation is important, and I really don't care which one it is as long as they have something to ground and center with ;)

[callalily]

As a former nun-Catholic-Christian, I'm raising my kids with the following general principle:

"Every religion is people's attempt to understand God. All religions are equally as good and help us understand our connection to God."

As they get older they understand a bit more of this. When my oldest did Greek and Roman units in school, I capitalized on that opportunity. When he did a unit on Columbus which touched on the Inquisition and Christianizing of the Native Americans, it was like a gift dropped into my lap! :-)

It's my hope that by raising them this way that when they grow up they'll either: choose a religion for themselves based on impartial knowledge of as many as I can teach them about, or simply be spiritual. Works for me.

[Faery-Wings]

"Every religion is people's attempt to understand God. All religions are equally as good and help us understand our connection to God."

*claps*

Well said!!

[Artemis84]

Thanks, Chryssi, for the links! :D

[Willow_Raindancer]

I've posted it in another thread (one not mentioned) and I'll say it again. If you LIKE yourself, why not teach your children YOUR faith?
That doesn't mean you have to tell them it's the ONLY way!
My daughter is taught my beliefs and others. Then I encourage her to think for herself;)

[BloodCrow]

Im not a parent, lol, im 15, just thought id say that i dont believe any religon should be imposed on anyone, parent or not. If my parents had tried to tell me i had to be christian i would have told them off rihgt there, i believe that everyone is called to paganism in a different way, and that if they are meant to be pagan, the Goddess will lead them to it, if they show interest in a religon, then why not let them explore it, i just dont feel it is truly Pagan to raise kids as a certain religon at all.

[Lady Eryn]

This is my problem, I'm pagan (well dah) but my husband is catholic, so is my family. Iwas raised as a catholic but for some reason I started to study Wicca . now I'm torn between telling my children what mommy realy is or hold the information from them untill they are old enough to understand that it's O.K. to be diffrent . Not that they don't already know this but I don't want any of the kids' parents at school to tell my children that they can't play with my kids because of what I practice in my home behind closed doors and when no ones looking. Help me . give me some good advice. PLEASE. :scream:

[Dextra]

My kids just turned 3 (they're twins). I just recently started introducing them to my pagan ways (ie-pointing out the changes in seasons, having them help with seasonal decor, etc.). I don't really have what you would call a set tradition, as does their father and my fiance, and their stepmother is agnostic. Since we all take part in their upbringing, we mutually decided that we would teach them our ways, but not force them into anything. I have allowed their grandmothers to take them to church on occasion (baptist and pentecostal), and went with them to a Catholic mass last Christmas at my future mother-in-law's request.

The way I figure it is I want them to be exposed to as many belief systems as possible. I would like them to choose their own path, and not have myself or anyone else in the family decide for them. Would I like for them to be pagan? Only if they wanted to. I was religiously conflicted as a child. My father's family was Catholic and my mother's is Baptist, and both sides were fighting over which way I was supposed to go.

So my opinion is that children should be allowed to choose their own faith, when they are mature enough to do so.

Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong! ;)

[Lady Eryn]

Originally posted by Dextra
My kids just turned 3 (they're twins). I just recently started introducing them to my pagan ways (ie-pointing out the changes in seasons, having them help with seasonal decor, etc.). I don't really have what you would call a set tradition, as does their father and my fiance, and their stepmother is agnostic. Since we all take part in their upbringing, we mutually decided that we would teach them our ways, but not force them into anything. I have allowed their grandmothers to take them to church on occasion (baptist and pentecostal), and went with them to a Catholic mass last Christmas at my future mother-in-law's request.

The way I figure it is I want them to be exposed to as many belief systems as possible. I would like them to choose their own path, and not have myself or anyone else in the family decide for them. Would I like for them to be pagan? Only if they wanted to. I was religiously conflicted as a child. My father's family was Catholic and my mother's is Baptist, and both sides were fighting over which way I was supposed to go.

So my opinion is that children should be allowed to choose their own faith, when they are mature enough to do so.

Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong! ;)





Thank you I guess I forgot the importantance of finding your own path. I 'm greatful for the suggestion.

[Dextra]

You're welcome, Eryn! :D

I know I had a hard time trying to decide that as well. At one point I had considered doing a dedication ceremony for my kids when they were a few months old, and I thought, "well, I was christened and all that when I was a baby, and nobody asked me what I wanted!" It changed my mind. Sometimes, you gotta put yourself in the kid's shoes before you make decisions like that.

[Bethra]

I have lots of books covering lots of religions for my son to read. Though I am generaly drawn to Paganisum I have for a very long time considered myself as "faithless" since I have never found any recognised faith that fitted totaly with what I believe. I thus decided that I would expose my son to every possible religion so that he could find his own path.

[Willow_Raindancer]

Originally posted by Dextra
Since we all take part in their upbringing, we mutually decided that we would teach them our ways, but not force them into anything. I have allowed their grandmothers to take them to church on occasion (baptist and pentecostal), and went with them to a Catholic mass last Christmas at my future mother-in-law's request.

Well, as long as your children don't come home telling you Grandma said your going to burn in Hell, I'd say- cool.
I've had a little bad luck sending my child to Vacation Bible School, but that doesn't mean it wont work for your kids. Just make sure you know what they are being taught!
:D

[Dextra]

Originally posted by Willow_Raindancer
Well, as long as your children don't come home telling you Grandma said your going to burn in Hell, I'd say- cool.
I've had a little bad luck sending my child to Vacation Bible School, but that doesn't mean it wont work for your kids. Just make sure you know what they are being taught!
:D

Unfortunately I have had something like that happen. When I was in Texas living with the in-laws, they were all strict Catholics. My hubby's grandmother :meanface: just flat out hated me for no real reason, and me being pagan just added fuel to the fire. She was constantly slamming me in front of my kids, or anyone that would listen. Obviously, I didn't stick around long. I got the kids and hopped a bus back to Kentucky on the double. And if you've ever been on a Greyhound bus for 27 hours, you know that you had better have a good reason! :shaker:

[Lady Eryn]

Dextra , I feel for you man. My mother-in-law also hates me. as far as the bus goes I hate having to ride them for more then an hour I can't imagion doing it for as long as you did. My kids have not come home telling me I'm going to burn in hell yet but I don't think that it will happen . My kids will hopefully tell my mother-in-law that she's full of sh*t first at least I have faith that 's what they'll do.

[Willow_Raindancer]

My BAD experence intailed my daughter being coursed into bringing in donations! The VBS turned getting donations into some kind of game/competion between the boys and girls!:eek:
Unbeknowen to me and a few other parents, our daughters were walking around our apartment complex begging for money. They never told anyone what it was for! The scary thng is there are some people who lived there that I would not want anyones child talking to! I thought my daughter was upstairs playing with her friend. Her grandmother thought her grand-daughter was at my apt. Needless to say that never happened again, and I'll NEVER trust another "Christian" church EVER AGAIN!
:mad:

[Dextra]

Originally posted by Willow_Raindancer
My BAD experence intailed my daughter being coursed into bringing in donations! The VBS turned getting donations into some kind of game/competion between the boys and girls!:eek:
Unbeknowen to me and a few other parents, our daughters were walking around our apartment complex begging for money. They never told anyone what it was for! The scary thng is there are some people who lived there that I would not want anyones child talking to! I thought my daughter was upstairs playing with her friend. Her grandmother thought her grand-daughter was at my apt. Needless to say that never happened again, and I'll NEVER trust another "Christian" church EVER AGAIN!
:mad:

OMG Willow! :eek: That's awful! I hope nothing like that ever happens to my girls. Thankfully, when the grandmother-in-law was slamming me, the girls were only 2, so they really didn't understand what was going on.

[IsisErin]

That's scary! Were they on their own? I'm not surprised you're dubious about trusting churches now!!

[Willow_Raindancer]

Originally posted by IsisErin
That's scary! Were they on their own? I'm not surprised you're dubious about trusting churches now!!
Yes they were by themselves. I did not find out until about a week later when the night manager for the apartments told me! I had to ask my daughter what her and her frend were doing, that's when it ALL came out:mad:
I did not even speak to any of the teachers of the Bible school. I was so mad I thought I might do something I'd regret.

[Faery-Wings]

Oh Willow, that is awful. What were the church people thinking? In my town, the kids are not allowed to go door to door. All the organizations have to put on a label on the packets saying that it is absolutely not allowed. I guess it stems from that poor little boy in South Jersey who got murdered a few years back.

On the VBS topic:
My cousin is very active in her Bible church and asked if my son (5 at the time) wanted to go to VBS with her son. The theme was a take off onthe Rescue Heroes that both of our boys enjoyed at the time. (maybe they were four? Not sure...) Anyway, I declined, not so much for the actual teachings, but I didn't feel comforatble having him there without me, knowing what was being said. I wanted to know that if they told him "A is true and always true" then I wanted to be able to help him think through the statement and consider the value of it on his own. And I wanted to be able to help him with the process, not have someone else do it for him. Does that make sense?

[Willow_Raindancer]

Originally posted by chryssi1
Oh Willow, that is awful. What were the church people thinking? In my town, the kids are not allowed to go door to door. All the organizations have to put on a label on the packets saying that it is absolutely not allowed. I guess it stems from that poor little boy in South Jersey who got murdered a few years back.

On the VBS topic:
My cousin is very active in her Bible church and asked if my son (5 at the time) wanted to go to VBS with her son. The theme was a take off onthe Rescue Heroes that both of our boys enjoyed at the time. (maybe they were four? Not sure...) Anyway, I declined, not so much for the actual teachings, but I didn't feel comforatble having him there without me, knowing what was being said. I wanted to know that if they told him "A is true and always true" then I wanted to be able to help him think through the statement and consider the value of it on his own. And I wanted to be able to help him with the process, not have someone else do it for him. Does that make sense?

Makes complete sense to me!
I don't think the church my daughter went to actually told these children to go door to door. BUT I think the competition was a factor in what the girls decided to do. They wanted to beat the boys! I realize the donations help to keep the bible school going. Paying for supplies and such. If they had asked I might not have been able to donate a lot of money, but supplies I have! Most of what they were doing was recycleing things for crafts anyway:rolleyes: