Choosing Between Two Paths

[Sidereus Nuncius]

New member, first non-introductory post. Here goes:

I'm about to make a choice that will drastically change my religious life for a good long while, perhaps permanently. I've been studying Wicca with a local coven, but have been researching other forms of paganism on my own for quite some time. The priestess of the coven has invited me to begin the path towards initiation-- one which my wife has already begun. We would be following the same faith in the same coven, and progressing at a similar rate. I would be able to find some continuity and community, something I've been severely lacking as a solitary.

However, I am torn. I've always been drawn towards Greek and Norse mythology, as well as general Indo-European reconstruction. This interest has led me to the works of Isaac Bonewits and ADF. Something about ADF and Druidism calls to me in a way that Wicca doesn't. I've successfully called magic circles and gone to nearly a year's worth of sabbats; I've assembled an altar and collected the traditional tools; I've done some spellwork, but not much, and experimented with visualization and meditation. It feels well, and it seems like a good framework. I would have a space and a place to grow in my religion. But I'm still so full of doubts.

Recently my wife and I attended a ritual to Aphrodite with the local ADF grove, and I was completely blown away. Everything seemed to make sense on a completely intuitive level. While attending the local coven's rituals, I always felt somewhat distanced, as though I were holding back, holding something in reservation. But at this ritual to Aphrodite, I felt powerful, numinous.

Maybe I've already provided the answer to my own question; maybe not. I'm certainly not asking anyone here to decide for me. But I would be very interested to know if anyone here has faced or is facing a similar decision, and how you discerned your path.

Thank you!

[PaganSpirit]

Whatever you decide, you'll ultimately have to do what feels right to you. Or who knows, it sounds like maybe your path has already chosen you.
I feel like this is something most of us have probably gone through at some point. Me, I haven't clearly defined a single path for me myself, and I think I probably never will. The more I look into different paths, the more universal and connected they all begin to seem. For this reason I mostly try not to stick myself into a label, and for the most part I'm ok with that. But it took me quite a bit of searching to realize that. I'm still searching now, and probably always will be, but now because it is my joy and my passion to do so.

[CelticMoon11]

I've taken the 'druid crafter' approach in that while I am studying irish druidry im still incorporating a few wiccan practices and still participate in wiccan events. Do what works best for you, I've found studying druidry much more fulfilling to my spiritual needs, my partner is tamerian wiccan and we dont practice together for the most part

[RoseKitten]

Is there any reason you can't do both? If the answer is yes, then I'm guessing it may be more of an eclectic Wicca sort of coven, as the BTW's I've been in contact with won't tell you that you can't also walk another path while walking with them. If the coven you're working with feels constricted, or lacking in some way for you, I suggest that you follow your heart down another path.

[Bettie]

So... if I read your post correctly, it seems that your main point for continuing with Wicca is that your wife is doing it already, and you would have the support of other people, is that right? Is that really what you want to base your spiritual beliefs on - convenience?

Don't be so hasty to tie yourself to one particular path, there are many people who like to dabble in various belief systems, it's not like there's someone holding a gun to your head forcing you to pick one or another. You may end up finding 'the one religion that is right for you', or you may just carry on being a dabbler. Who knows? Life is fun like that. Just enjoy the journey. :)

[Jenett]

A couple of things spring to mind:

- First, you don't need to make an immediate decision. I'd certainly discuss it with the relevant people (your wife, the priestess or other leadership of the group you're currently working with), but you don't need to decide immediately.

- It might be really instructive to look at why this particular ritual hit you so deeply. Was it a connection with Aphrodite? Was it a particular ritual technique? Was it how it applied to your own life circumstances in some way?

One of the challenges of early group work in a Wiccan context is that - for various reasons - there are a lot of layers. The initial layer may not be what calls you - but you might find that deeper work would let you get the experience you hope for.

Likewise, while group work generally focuses on specific deities, most groups will have members who have other lasting connections to deities outside the group practice. (In some cases, this is specifically encouraged, in other cases, it may be true)

None of this is to say you can't also explore the ADF - but given the other things you mention (your wife's commitment to the group, etc.) it might be worth figuring out exactly wht it is that spoke to you, and whether (and how) that could be something you could add to your existing group work, rather than instead of it.

[Juniper138]

Plenty of folks who belong to covens also have a private practice.

I've know folks who belong to both a Wiccan coven and the ADF before :)

[Sidereus Nuncius]

Thank you all very much for replying! I've been letting your advice sink in before I attempted a response. It's really interesting to see how much everyone's advice agrees, generally speaking (and forgive me if I use the quote function wrongly:


Plenty of folks who belong to covens also have a private practice.
I've know folks who belong to both a Wiccan coven and the ADF before
it might be worth figuring out exactly wht it is that spoke to you, and whether (and how) that could be something you could add to your existing group work, rather than instead of it.
Don't be so hasty to tie yourself to one particular path, there are many people who like to dabble in various belief systems
Is there any reason you can't do both?
while I am studying irish druidry im still incorporating a few wiccan practices and still participate in wiccan events
The more I look into different paths, the more universal and connected they all begin to seemAll these suggestions indicate to me that I may want to see if I can be involved in both groups. RoseKitten, you're on the money when you say this is an eclectic coven-- they describe themselves as "Eclectic Gardnerian." Or even if I don't get involved with the local ADF grove, I could still make Pan-Indo-European reconstruction (to use Bonewits' term) my primary focus in God/Goddess worship and theology. The coven's primary focus, according to its priestess, is community-building oriented towards creation a deep magical practice. Magic has always seemed somewhat foreign to me compared to prayer and divinity, which may be why Wicca seems somewhat off to me. But that may be a valuable dimension to have in my life.

If nothing else, I agree wholeheartedly with everyone who expressed the thought that I should do what is in my heart, or do what is right for me.


So... if I read your post correctly, it seems that your main point for continuing with Wicca is that your wife is doing it already, and you would have the support of other people, is that right? Is that really what you want to base your spiritual beliefs on - convenience?
That does worry me. Am I thinking about taking the "easy" way out? It certainly won't be easy, as getting involved with a coven like this will involve some years of work, constant attendance at rituals, study, and involvement as I work through the degrees of initiation. It's a somewhat immediate decision, as the next "cycle" of students, people who have been going through the introductory course, will be starting their studies soon. Knowing me, too, if I wait too long, I may put off the decision indefinitely, which is not something I want.


It might be really instructive to look at why this particular ritual hit you so deeply. Was it a connection with Aphrodite? Was it a particular ritual technique? Was it how it applied to your own life circumstances in some way?
This is such a fabulous and thought/feeling-provoking question. What I think I understand so far is a combination of the above: The ritual structure was communal, with several very dramatic ritual callings of kindreds being distributed among the group. I was asked to call on the Olympian Gods, all of whom I've been studying since I was a kid-- before I even felt called to the Pagan path.

So, there's a level of familiarity and intuitive understanding at work. The creation of sacred space is different than in Wicca-- calling the quarters associates elements and feelings with spaces, while opening the gateways between the underworld, the otherworld, and the celestial realm creates a holistic working environment for me. These are places; we're tapping into mythic geographical structures rather than somewhat abstracted qualities or entities.

Understand that I'm not criticizing Wicca-- both systems have benefits. I'm just trying to understand what called to me from the Aphrodite rite.

It was Aphrodite herself, too; connected to Gods and giving of yourself to Gods has always meant more to me than magical rites. And in the rite we were able to explore so many dimension of this Goddess. She felt real, and connected in a profound way to the many ways of love I've experienced in life. Everyone offered something different; I offered a poem I wrote, others offered important objects, or enigmatically symbolically loaded things like Hershes Kisses-- we all had a personal connection to her that we were able to share, learning something about both ourselves and the multifaceted aspects of desire. It was beautiful.

That's what I have so far, anyway. I will continue to reflect, and to question. PaganSpirit, I think I too will always be searching, but it's always nice to find things along the way.