not sure what i need

[SS'sBaby]

My husband and I have been seperated since December of last year. In fact I lived in another state until two weeks ago and while my husband and I are on good terms his mother, who essentially caused the seperation gives nothing but grief.
She is a slutty Bible thumping old bat of little worth and needs some lithium biscuits even on her best days. That and she accidentaly on purpose tried to kill me.....though she refutes that claim.....then later insisted to EVERYONE I was trying to put her and her family in jail as I was out of state at the time and had the family mail me a few of my belongings I had left and needed. She insisted it was drugs. *yawns loudly and looks bored*
No...really. She told everyone that. The fed ex guy was super pissed as he himself had previously repacked the box of items in a smaller box for less money and sent her scurrying out of the store when she later appeared and asked over and over were there any "spices" or green items in the mix.
I haven't partaken of illegal drugs in YEARS.
Because I suffer chronic chest pain and have heart problems I get drug tested a lot for recreational drug use....it's to cover the docs ass as many meds adminstered will interact with street drugs.
When I was in the hospital in January she called my room to explain to me how I was NOT sick and was just trying to drum up sympathy. *sighs and rolls eyes*
She has even threatened to kill my cat. I am retrieving her this weekend and taking her to my new residence.
She has taken to harrassing my friends at work and spreading pretty evil lies about me.
I really hate this woman...she has even gone as far as to try to cause problems with my neighbors and room mate.
There are many many many other things that have gone on but I'm trying to list just what would or could be allowed on open forum.
My husband wants us to go to counseling and attempt a reconcilliation later.
I fear this will only happen the day after this bitch's funeral.
Seriously, I care for my husband but despise her.

I have had fibromyalgia for years. Was diagnosed back in 96. Have suffered with it and a bad back and heart issues for sometime. I am also learning that my grandmother has been given a lupus diagnosis at 85 and suffers many of the problems I have so I'm getting a battery of tests done in april. I plan to file for SSI and return to college.
She is furious as she wants me to spend my days "pretending to care for her brain damaged husband" so that the VA will send an extra check she can have.
She is soooooo bad she wants her hubby to die so she can collect the insurance money and get new boobs and go on a cruise and then take a trip to the Holy Lands. WTF?
She has a truck that keeps breaking down but won't have it fixed and gets angry as my husband can't fix it as he has not the equipment to remove the fuel rails.
she has the money to fix it but won't...........instead she has a vacation planned to go visit her brother in law and sister in law. I think she's having it on with the brother in law which is both sick and weird.

Well it is what it is.

I don't know wwhat to do so I'm doing what I can as I can and strongly considering a restraining order if she doesn't stop being evil incarnate.
Just considering one..............

I love my hubby but I hate this bitch.

[SS'sBaby]

Sorry to have sounded so whiney and hate filled. I know my post sounds uber dramatic and hate filled and a tad soap opera-ish and borders on outlandish.
All of it is true however. Strange as it is.
I was just so angry as I had discovered recently she had told several people I was a witch..I knew she had told a few people that.
I didn't know she told several however.
And being sick and dealing with her wears me thin.
*sighs*
Mainly what I need is to find peace.
Forgive the woman.
Move forward.
And stop being a quivering mass of jelly and fear about the Lupus.....
I love my husband as well.
I just can't take everything that comes with him.
I can't be the hypocritical Christian type sheep his family embraces. I believe in a Supreme Being/Intelligent Designer.
Not the same sort of Being they do.
These people are utterly horrid.
I really need to forgive,move on,move forward and find my center.
Sorry for the earlier rant.:toofless::toofless::weirdsmil

[lightdragon]

how many years do i know you SSB? so trust me , I know when you are blowing up. and this is far from it.

whether you go back to your hubby or not. there is nothing wrong with still loving him.

just let it all out.

[SS'sBaby]

*gives lightdragon a huge hug*
Thank you luv. Thank you much.
People trying to kill you makes you simply put...well furious.
It makes you air dirty laundry and want to screech like a banshee.
Which in a way is good because if I ever grow "calm" I may do something stupid and dangerous in retribution.
It's why I'm begging to have personal peace not "calm".
She switched my nausea meds for something else that is dangerous when mixed with heart meds.
She then attempted to blame it on the pharmacist.
As I said it reads like a made for Lifetime network movie but it's fact not fiction.
I care emmensely for my husband but can't endure his family.
Thanks for reminding me I can love him even if we never reconcile.:thumbsup:

[ShadowcatX]

Sounds like you need one less person involved in your marriage. He should've went with you when you left the state.

[Twinkle]

I think you need clarity. Clear your mind and concentrate on you and what is most important.

Then figure out what you can live with, and what you can't.

Then act.

I wish you the best.

[CatsAreGods]

Yes. And please protect your cat, so s/he can protect you!

[SS'sBaby]

Thank you all for the advice and support, sincerely.
Cat is fine but unhappy with new digs as my room mate has a cat.
Sharing me has them hostile.
I am sure eventually they will come round to being on at least good enough terms to maintain a polite fiction.

[SS'sBaby]

Let me clarify something. I was angry at my mother in law for using the word witch as an attempt to rouse ignorant christian hysteria, wield it as a tool and use it as a weapon. I found it in poor taste.
It is the equivalent of me running round calling her a jezebel to her ilk, kith and kin.
It's just in bad taste.