Handfasting Problems!

[Silent Star]

Hi everybody! I am new to the Mystic Wicks community but have been following a wiccan / pagan path for sometime now. My partner and I have decided to handfast but we have been unable to find anybody to conduct the ceremony (which we would like to take place at StoneHenge). Can you help? We are getting desperate as we have found few pagans in Cardiff (our home).

Thanks and blessed be!

[kblackthorne]

Hmmm...

OK, to start with I'm a Yank who's never been to England & really doesn't know much about the geography. So my help is limited.

A search of WithVox shows the following English groups, some of whome perform handfastings:

English Adult Covens (http://www.witchvox.com/wotw/groups_a/england_ga.html)

It goes on for 4 pages.

I know at one time, at least, there was a specific Druid-group that had exclusive rights to practice at Stonehenge. I don't know if this is still the case.


One other thing to consider: Here in the States, it is a little known fact that anyone can legally performm a wedding. At the same place you get your marriage license, someone may apply to be a "Deputy Comissioner for the Day". Basically, for a small fee, they may perform one specific marriage on one specific day.

So if you have a close friend who's willing but not ordained, it may still be possible.

A final option is to consider the sacred & legal aspects to be independent things, and take care of the legalities either before or after the "real" ceremony. (The drawback here is that the Witnesses won't have something to sign -- if that's important to them, you'll have to work something out.)

Sorry I can't be more help!

[Silent Star]

This is very useful, thank you. I hadn't found this site, and as few of these groups are near to us and should be a good place to start at least! I believe you are right about the druids and stonehenge. They let you into the inner circle for up to 1 hour as long as you have at least 10 in your party and you pay £10 a head. We have tried and failed to get hold of these druids however :-(

[kblackthorne]

Hm, seems like my info about the Druid group is outdated. (I thought it might be.)

See English Heritage Site Private Access applicaion (http://www.english-heritage.org.uk/default.asp?wci=mainframe&URL1=ie/SearchTitle.htm) (You probably have this, but it never hurts to give someone more info. :) )

BTW, This Link (http://www.druidorder.demon.co.uk/index1.htm) gives a little history of modern Druidic access.

On the left side are some navigation links, including one for 2002. Some of these ("Contacts" and "Links") might also be helpful for you in finding someone.

I wish you & your beloved every joy. May your handfasting be remembered with fondness for the rest of your days.

[Demeter]

Originally posted by kblackthorne

One other thing to consider: Here in the States, it is a little known fact that anyone can legally performm a wedding. At the same place you get your marriage license, someone may apply to be a "Deputy Comissioner for the Day". Basically, for a small fee, they may perform one specific marriage on one specific day.



That all depends on what state you're in. I think Massachusetts has something like that, but most other states don't. Rules as to who can perform marriages vary greatly from state to state.

[Silent Star]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by kblackthorne
[B]Hmmm...

A search of WithVox shows the following English groups, some of whome perform handfastings:

English Adult Covens (http://www.witchvox.com/wotw/groups_a/england_ga.html)

After searching through this and contacting a couple of covens nearby, we have had two offers from people to handfast us! One at 'UK Pagan Pride Day' at Autumn Equinox at Avebury and one whenever and wherever! My beloved and I are very exited and will be meeting with both sometime soon to discuss plans. We would still really like to do it at StoneHenge which has special meaning for use, possibly at Autumn Equinox or around that time.... so watch this space!

Also, thank you for the English Heritage site - I didn't know about the application form so it is very useful :-)

So, many thanks for your help and blessings! :-)

[kblackthorne]

Detemer,

Weddings are handled at a local, not State level. Usually the County or municipality.

I first encountered the idea that "anyone can perform a wedding" in '00 when I was preparing for my own. I, too, thought it was... misleadingly optimistic. I knew it wasn't true here, because I'd seen the list of people who could officiate.

And when I checked, none of the sources on marriage licenses around here made reference to it. I had to call up the bureau and ask. Then, they were cheerfully forthcoming.

See, technically, the "Deputy Commissioner for the Day" is just that: Someone who's been deputized by the Government for a single day, for a single purpose. Technically, they're the government. ~shrugs~

Don't blow it off in your state unless you've actually asked at the appropriate office (the one you get your marriage licence) & been told "no". Last time I researched, it was available in all 50 states, though some localities may not honor it.

But, hey, you've got nothing to lose for asking!

[kblackthorne]

Silent Star,

:sunny: Glad to hear the search is bearing fruit. Keep us posted!

[shnen]

you could also try any unitarian churches around.. they aren't specifically pagan, but they are absolutely everything, so as a last resort you could look into that..


good luck :)

[Eudaimonia]

There's a book I picked up for help with the one I'm planning (slowly). I can't recall the author, but the book is "Handfasted and Heartjoined". It also gives practical advice.

Note: it also has fairly recent state laws about marriage. I'm going to have to have a 'civil ceremony' (preist or rabbi) to make mine legal.

Please though... do what you want, and what will make you and your partner happiest.