~~Wtchy's Time~~

[WtchyChick13]

Well here it is a new year. I hope this is going to be a year of prosperity and new beginnings.

So far, it's been strange.

First the christening and having these two precious little ones in my life which I never thought would happen.

Now on Sunday...my tooth breaks. I know it's been bad, but I have no dental. I look like a hick and I'm kinda stuck right now. Thankfully, it isn't painful--I only pray it will stay that way.

Today??? One of the best days I've had in a loooonnng time!

First she comes by and not only buys the three pairs that she custom ordered, but then buys three more? That's amazing!

Then, my neighbor that I usually have trouble with decides to be my friend and tells me about getting a great psychic that is coming down here and would I like a reading? Of course I would! :D

She also opened up about her husband and now we finally know why she is the way she is. I just wish she would let him rest. Going to psychics and mediums and me doing readings for her is not letting this man's soul rest for a second. She has such guilt surrounding her, but at least now I know why. I wish he would give her a message that said, "ok, leave me alone now" just so she would stop. But she's made it her life's mission and won't stop until the day she crosses over herself. However, I thank you for letting her open up to me so that I could understand the situation better. It will definately make a difference.

Now the phone call. I got an email from my lawyer a few weeks ago and never heard back from him. I don't know what made me decide to call him today but BOY am I glad I did! I miss him! How many people actually become friends with their lawyer?

So he tells me out of the blue that the money that was leftover from my settlement over two years ago is now officially mine! They never heard from the hospital and it's only a couple of hundred dollars (I still don't know exactly how much) but I need this money so badly...it was like hitting the lottery! He's sending the check out tomorrow and I should get it by Saturday.

I can't believe it. I just can't freaking believe it.

He also told me about some theater opps coming up and would I be interested. It's been so long, but it would be great to get back into it.

This whole year is going to be one long flashback...the class reunion, the b-ball reunion, Dave coming back and forth here and now talking to Michael again? It's like jumping back in time 7 years.

Also, I'm getting Greg vibes like crazy and I have no idea why. I just hope he's ok. I miss him, I really do. But it seems that he's all around me lately. Everywhere I go, he's there. I hope this means he's going to at least just contact me. It would be so good to hear from him.

Gretchen has been on my mind a lot too. But then again, it IS her time of year. I can't believe it's been 9 years since she's gone. She was such an influence on me and still. I hope she's resting now.



I'm hoping that this will be the beginning of many wonderful things to happen. I need a year of good things to come my way. I need to find out that this will be the year that I get out on my own again and start my life over.

I have such a good feeling tonite and I don't want to jinx it. With the full moon coming up, I will certainly be reinforcing good vibes.

Please, let this be my year. Let it be my time. Let the good times keep coming and the money keep coming in more steadily.

I thank you for everything you do for me and for surrounding me constantly with your love and your light and for never letting me feel alone in any way. It has been such a blessing having you there and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done.

I ask you now that everything I've asked for to be correct and with harm to none.


So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Where has all of mmy energy gone?

A few days ago, I was up and energetic and ready for anything! Now, it feels like someone pulled the plug on me. I want to sleep constantly and no amount of caffeine is helping.

I sleep longer and longer and yet at nite, as tired as I am, I'm staying up later. Poor birdie doesn't get up until I do and now that she's not feeling well, I know this isn't helping her and it's not her fault, it's mine.

I get like this so often that days like the other day, so full of energy throw me.

I need that energy back and for it to stay with me. I can't function like this. I'm not getting anything done and I hate feeling like I'm in a constant fog.

Please let this stretch not last as long as it normally does. I have so much to do and I just can't find the strength to do it.

May my battery get recharged soon.



So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Well, I now know why my energy was depleated. I'm sick as a dog.

Yet another wave of feeling like hell for about a week. Oh yippee. :(

I've had this for so long and I wish it would just stop the cycle. I go for longer and longer periods of feeling well only to have me do too much during that time. It's like I get lulled into a false sense of security.

Then BAM! It feels like I've been hit by a bomb!


I know we were supposed to get a lot done tomorrow. If I could just make it through that and then come home to sleep for the rest of the weekend, that would be great.

If not, just let the extra time I spend in bed pay off so that it doesn't stay with me as long this time.

Thank you for Jeff for sending me that disk--hopefully I can use it. And thank you for Michael for sending me that check--I KNOW I can use that! :D

Thank you also for my friends here. I don't know what I'd do without them. :)



May Mom and I feel better soon.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for my mother. We had so much fun tonite and it is because of her that I was able to get what I needed at all.

We've been having a good time lately and I hope it keeps on going. (I don't want to jinx it at all.) There is just so much going on lately and I think that's part of it.

Both of us being sick has also proved to be a bonding thing as well--but in a strange way. Hopefully that will be over with soon as well.

I thank you also for trying to get me focused and I know I will be able to get a lot done when Mom goes away next week. I still have much to do, but I know that it will get done. It must get done--I really have no choice.

May my energy keep up and the illness go away. The cold is not helping and it's supposed to get much worse.

I pray for those who have no place to get warm. Every nite I see the temperatures dropping and I worry about those who have no shelter. I also worry for my animals outside who need to stay warm. If I could, I would set out blankets for them all. Instead, I will try to keep the water warm for them as I have been so they at least have some liquid to drink. (Although watching the "popsicle" crew go at the ice blocks has been fun to watch.)

May they all stay warm and safe while these temperatures stay this low. May your warmth surround them all and may they find some shelter from the cold.

I do hope that Wednesday, I get the messages I'm supposed to hear. The messages I've been longing to hear. Or even just some glint of the past. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, yet I admit to being excited. It's been so long since I've had a reading done that I just don't know what to expect this time around. Perhaps a hint of where I am to go in the future? Because right now, I just don't know.

I thank you for letting me feel you all around me and for your love and light. Thank you for watching over my birdie. I don't know what I'd do without her. I just hope she's warm enough in this cold.

Thank you for just being there and for always being there.


May it all be so---So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I need guidance. Or at least a shove.

That money I received was a blessing and now it's almost all gone. I was able to use it for things that I needed, but now it's the end of the month and bills are going to start piling up soon.

My phone bill for one. Ok, it was my mistake to stay on so long. But I was only checking up on the situation at Dad's house. That is like a ticking time bomb up there and I'm trying to be the "good daughter."

I also checked in with a friend here and there, but some of that was business--so I guess that's ok.

I'm not asking to hit the lottery or anything, I'd just like to have enough to cover my bills. I'd like to be able to look at my auctions and see bidders--I'd like my new stores to generate some sort of an income for me.

The New Moon and high holiday are coming within the next few days, may these bring new beginnings my way. May the good things that started this calendar year continue to come my way. The one thing I don't want to worry about this year is money.

Thank you for the happy things that have happened so far and may everything on Thursday go well--it's going to be a jam packed day. :D


May the good things the psychic said continue to come true...he's been right on so far and it's only been a week since my reading!

I thank you for being there, for guiding me, for watching over me and for letting me feel your light always.

I ask that this all be so.



So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

This is a big weekend. So many beginnings and a tragedy on top of it all.

My love is going out to my friends here who joined their lives together in your sight this evening. May they be forever happy, joined in love.

My friend Flaire celebrated her special day as well. I wasn't on really during the day and I'm sorry about that. But my thoughts were with her and I was sending her energies that this year would bring the happiness to her that she so greatly deserves.

The new moon and Imbolc is this weekend and with it I'm hoping that new beginnings will come to me. That the money I need will come to me. Or should I say, that I'm hoping for a more steady money situation in my life. Last month was incredible. You were very generous in providing for my needs. I thank you so much for that.

Here it is a new month and bills are coming in and I'm hoping that Valentine's Day sales will help me a bit. The new supplies arrived today and I've got tons of ideas--I need to make them work now.

I know that I can make it happen. I've got that confidence, now it's just getting it to happen the way I know that it can.

I'm also grateful for the other nite. I had so much fun with them and I haven't laughed like that in so long.

I'm worried about S though. Her dad is sick and I've never seen her this worried. She's usually a rock. This really shook her and she needs to realize that it's not her fault. Not hearing a phone call in the middle of the nite does not make his heart condition her fault.

Please give her the strength she needs right now. Let her husband be supportive. I love him, but he is so focused on himself sometimes. May he put that aside while she needs him the most. Wrap her in your arms to give her the will to be there for her family and to let her rest as well. Not sleeping isn't going to help the situation either.

Please be with the families also of the crew that was lost yesterday morning. It is one thing to lose a family member, but to have the tragedy replayed on tv over and over in such a public manner does not help the healing process. May they be safe in your arms and the families hearts begin to heal. May this nation who has been through so much as of late finally be at peace.

Thank you as always for being there and for surrounding me with your love and light. For never letting me forget that you are there with me always.


May what I've asked come to light.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you. S's father is doing much better now, out of the hospital and back home with his family. She seems better too. Much less stressed.

I thank you for keeping me somewhat sane as well. :)

Another week is starting and I'm hoping that it will be a profitable one. I'm going to be needing some cash and I just don't have it to spare.

I was stupid enough to think my father would take the hint and help me out. What was I thinking? I know he has his own stuff to worry about, but since I told him that I needed it for the phone bill...and that it was because they were all calls TO HIM...I thought he'd help out. WRONGO! I don't know why I continue think that one day he will surprise me. I love him, but when it comes to money? Forget it. Why bother. :rolleyes:

I do want to thank you also for John. It was so great seeing him! I forgot how much I missed him. It was so great of him to take a look at my laptop as well. I couldn't believe he offered to take care of it! Now I just wish I could figure out what the hell he did to it!!! I know I can get it back to the way it was, but did he have to strip the whole system???

I feel bad and guilty because he WAS nice enough to do this for me for free. On the other hand, he more to it than I thought he would and now it may take me even longer to get to use it again. But it's nice to know that I have friends that I can count on. :D

Thanks for the possibility of DH coming back to the states. I know he's married now, but we were so close once and I miss the hell out of him! I wish I could get that summer back and do it all over again. It was such a great time in my life and I want that feeling back. Maybe with him coming back, some of that feeling will too.


Thank you for D for sharing with me a part of her life and for including me in a big part of it. It really is a blessing that she asked me and I hope that we do really well in our endevour. :)


May this week be a good one. It's going to get scary as the week goes on as far as a political situation and I'm very worried about the way it's going to go. Please watch over our guys/girls who are serving. No matter what I'm going through, I know they have it much, much worse. May they be protected by your light.

May this week prove to be a profitable one and may things go well. May Dad have a good birthday and the best present he could have right now would be for my grandfather to be well enough to get out of his house. So if that's a possibility.... :huh:


Thank you for everything. Your love and light and guidence. Thank you for the bursts of creative energies I've been having lately--may they continue.


May this all be so--So mote it be. :)

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you. :)

I called Dad for his birthday today and he was actually in a good mood for a change. I'm hoping that whatever that new doctor told him is the reason--I feel like an idiot for forgetting to ask about that. :rolleyes:

It was nice to hear him that way though. It's been so long since I heard him laugh and mean it. I hope it continues.

Thanks also for tonite. I had a good time with the girls and even got in some reading. I'm off now to do some more and it's not every nite I do this.

Thanks for everything. It's nice to always know you're there.

:)

[WtchyChick13]

Oh please help. I didn't realize how much money I needed until those bills came today. I'd forgotten about two of them and now I'm stuck.

The full moon is this weekend--please let it bring me the money I so badly need. I can't ask anyone for help this time, this is all on me.

I also need to take time to sleep. I keep saying I'm going to and then I don't. It's not that I can't sleep, but it's starting to catch up with me now. Maybe this weekend will help me catch up a little.

Please be with my baby as well. She seems to be going through something and I feel so helpless. She's so tiny but is my world. Please help my birdie. She keeps looking to me as if I can make it better but I can't. I hate to see her like this. Please heal her--I don't know what I'd do without her.

I've been conjuring up thoughts of the past again and I know that's what held me back the last time. I need to let it all go, but with them being a major part of my life, it's always going to be there.

May this weekend help to bring the new beginnngs I so badly need. The money I desperately need. And the peace that I need as well.

May this be so--So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I'm still worried. I'm in a lot of pain now and I know part of it is just stress. I don't even realize I'm doing anything until it's too late.

I did get some sleep last nite. Actually went to bed at midnite. I have no idea the last time I did that. But of course, I woke up at 3am just like I always do when I try to go to bed early. I had so much going through my mind that I just couldn't get back to sleep.

I'm so sick though. The other day in the snow didn't help me at all. Between agravating the stuff from the accident and adding to the problems I had before, I don't know what to do anymore. I can't go to the doctor because I'm just broke. I need some answers here.

I'm still hoping the money will start to come in and help me out. Every little bit helps and will help me out of the debt that I'm in. If I can make a bit to go to the dr. that would be a good thing. I have the feeling what's really wrong is getting much worse and that by the time I get it checked out, it will be much more serious.

I am sort of happy that A cancelled on me for Sunday. The weather isn't supposed to be great and I'd be worried about the kids in the car. I know we'll get together soon so that's ok. Plus it wasn't ME cancelling this time, so I don't feel so bad.

I did get the message that you gave me about the apt. James told me that I'd probably be moving by May and the signals that I've been getting lately are to move on. I just need the money to do it. I found the greatest place and would love to give it a try. I just don't have the $$$ to take off. But I thank you for the spark of inspiration. :)

That place would be perfect. With a room that would make the perfect office/studio. With a guest room, fireplace and everything! I got excited the last time I saw a place up that way, but that didn't happen. Maybe I stumbled upon this place for a reason.

May that spark of inspiration continue to grow until the flames surround me. Until I can make James vision for me come true. So that I can move on. So that I can once again live my own life. Have my own place and take care of myself.

May this be so--So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you-Thank you-Thank you for keeping my baby safe! She could've really done some damage to her leg and yet she came out fine.

Thank you for guiding me to stay calm and for knowing just what to do. It all happened so fast and she was so frightened and somehow it all came out ok.

Thank you for watching over us. I don't know what I would without her. :)






Thank you!

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for providing for me for that bill I had forgotten about.

I need my patience now, my focus and me head not in the clouds. I need to remember that I wanted to do this on my own and it's not going to get done unless I do it.

I also need to be in good health and that's been a huge problem for a while now. I think a lot of my focus has been lacking lately because my head has really bothered me and it's kind of hard to think while my sinuses are trying ot burst through my face. The fever is driving me crazy as well. I'm so sick of popping ibuprofen every few hours.

I'm hoping that the New Moon will bring wonderful growth as far as business and money coming my way. That the visions I've been getting lately will start to find their way into my life and work out the way I hope they will. That Jame's visions will keep coming true and that I will find myself continuing on the right path.

On another note, please help the birdie. She's having such a tough time and I'm so worried about her. I'd just like to see her feel better soon. :)

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Well alrighty. My fever's back. My sleeping habits are back to crap and my patience level is almost non-existent.

I thought this would be a fun weekend and instead it's been filled with obnoxious 'under-the breath' comments from the both of us. We are just pissing each other off everytime eye contact is even being made.

The movie lightened things up for the time it was on and that was it.

PLEASE!!!!!! I have so much to do this week. I need every ounce of strength I have to get through it. Us at each other's throats isn't going to help any.

I was hoping to ask you with the New Moon to help with the money situation, NOT for this.

Or, maybe, the two go hand in hand. If I make more money, then I can move out and things will be better.

Please, may this New Moon cycle help to bring peace around here, the money I sooooo desperately need and the visions to come true of a new place for me.

May this be so. So mote it be.




*edited to add*

Oh and what the hell is my cousin thinking? Please watch over him as normally something like this would be wonderful amazing news...but this is going to put a big strain on him and the marriage. May they be ok.

[WtchyChick13]

I need strength. This week is going to be slammed and I'm going to need every ounce of strength I can muster up.

It should be a good week, productive and everything. But the illness is always hovering over me and it drains me of my energy so quickly.


This past week turned out to be a week of surprises. Some good, some bad and some absolutely amazing!

Thank you for bringing him back from Ireland!!! I missed him so much and now he will be here for two whole years this time!!!!!!

I knew I missed him. But I didn't realize just how much.

I know that this time 'round I will have to watch myself. After all, this time he's married. Six glorious years ago, he wasn't.

But that's ok. We used to be so close and it sparked again as soon as our eyes met. I'm so grateful to you for bringing him back to me. Back into my life. Back to having a true friend right here like I used to. Everyone is so far away and now, it can all start changing.

I'm trying not to put so much pressure on myself in that respect. I don't want to pin all of my happy energies on this but I feel that this is going to be the beginning of some great things for me. (Which, is about time.) :)

Oh and thank you for giving my father the guidence that he's needed. I hope that the new meds will help him the way he needs to be helped.


So I leave now holding onto thoughts of the past. Knowing that you will be by my side this week helping me through. And also fully aware that it's time I started thinking about what it is I need to accomplish instead of thinking of failure or future failures. I think of the summer of 96 when I had more fun then anyone should ever have in their lifetime. I leave now hoping that I will soon be able to recapture at least some of that feeling this year.

This year is the year of flashbacks for me. Reunions going on, people coming back into my life that I never thought I'd see again, memories hitting me from every angle.

Should make for an interesting year.

May I be able to handle all of it in a healthy body and frame of mind. May the strength I need continue to come to me and may I finally have my turn at the happiness I've been striving for.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

What in living hell was that today? It's one thing that he's talking to me again just like we used to, but that comment came out of the blue!

I know what it was and I know damn well that he knows what it was too. That's why I brushed it off and then mentioned the baby.

I know he really wanted me there Friday nite. I wanted to be there too! I would've loved it. But why didn't they just come here? They know I can't be reached!

I need to hear from J to find out what was said. Obviously something was discussed in my absence and I want to know what it was.

I cannot let myself dwell on this.


Everytime I take a step forward, something makes me take 2 steps back.


On a completely different note: May this weekend go successfully for all of us involved. We all need the money and need it to go well for all sorts of reasons. May your light shine on us all.

So Mote It Be. :)

[Danustouch]

May more opportunities, more ventures, more prosperity be hers, Goddess. May she not lose heart, or faith, or courage. Such talent, and kindness, and caring, and true art, reaps rewards in time.

May it be so...soon :)

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for my friends and family. I don't know what I'd do without their love and support. :)


I thank you also for getting me to start focusing on the site and getting a good jump on it. I've been putting it off and now I've finally starting to get things done. For that I thank you.


Now, I'm begging you...PLEASE make the pain go away. I can barely see now and it is just constant. It doesn't seem to be letting up at all this time and I'm losing focus.

There is so much I need to get done and while I was off to a good start on Sunday, I've practically come to a halt today.

I don't have the money to go to the doctors and I am almost certain that this is a raging sinus infection that has been going on for months. But now, the pain is excrutiating.

I ran out of pain killers and I'm so broke I can't buy anymore. I need a good nite's sleep and I know it's not going to happen tonite with all of the crap going on around here lately. I thought that would've ended today but nooooooooo she's not going to let up until she makes everyone miserable. (May I never be like that when I get older.) Let that situation end soon and peacefully please.

I was also thrown today by a bill that came out of nowhere. I never knew it was coming and received no notification of it--now, they are about to take money out of my account that isn't there and on top of everything else, I'm going to suffer penalty fees.

I need help. I need for some sort of small miracle to come to me. I know that with everything else going on in the world that this will be so minor in comparison. But please, I need help. I'm trying so hard to keep my spirits up and so much of this has come to me very suddenly.

I'm sick of being short with people--that is not like me at all. I'm sick of being annoyed by every little thing and I'm sick of the pain. So sick of the pain--it even hurts to cry.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for letting me find that bottle. It's still lingering under the surface, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was. Let's hope it lasts like this. I couldn't take another run of days like I've had.


Now quickie request--I need a miracle. A quick $10 miracle! If I don't get that money, I will be in the hole for a lot more.

Pleassssssssse let something happen Wednesday.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I need a break. I never got that miracle (not that I expected to) and now, it just keeps getting worse.

I can't pay the bank, I can't pay eBay and if I don't pay them soon I will lose my status there completely. Not to mention the fact that they were my sole source of income and now I can't even utilize their services.

I have nothing. My health is starting to reveal the stress that I am under and yet trying to keep my usual "happiness" outlook for people to see is getting harder and harder.

I finally got some sleep today for the first time in weeks and what happens? A friend who knows my hours still called me at 9am and woke me up. I can't even be pissed at her because she needed my help and I haven't talked to her in months.

It's not fair. I know I sound like a whiny child but when is it finally going to be MY turn? I give so much of my time away, give so much of my knowledge away when other people charge for that kind of information...I try to be a good person and truly believe "what goes around comes around." But please, I need it to be my turn. It needs to be my turn soon.

Please let this be so.




So mote it be.

[MammaStar]

So mote it be! :heartthro

[WtchyChick13]

:smooch:




Well another day, another setback, another blow. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm begging you to help strengthen my banishing spell. I need this negative energy taken away from me. I feel as if I'm swimming in it and that it's getting so deep, I'm starting to drown.

Please help the spell be as strong as it can be. Help me to be able to find the other side of this cycle that I'm in and let me find it soon. There is always a light at the end and I know this to be true because you've helped me find it in the past. May I find it now.

So mote it be.



I do want to thank you for showing me the support of my friends and my mother. For letting me get that extra boost from a very special person today and for letting him catch me online when he did. He showed a side I haven't seen in quite sometime and really came through for me. I'm so grateful for him and for having him be my friend for so many years.

I really appreciate all of them for being there and for their love. I know I don't tell them as often as I should but I do love them all. So thank you. :)

[WtchyChick13]

I wanted to say thank you for my friends and family. Thank you for their support and for them just being there.

Thank you for all of the tests coming out negative and for hearing for the first time in over a year, a happiness in my father's voice that has been truly missed. May it continue to get better.

Thank you for showing me your light and may it continue to glow.

I know that this is going to take some time and I thank you for granting me the patience that I'm going to need.

I thank you also for granting me the confidence that I so badly need to make this work. I know that this will truly be a test of faith in myself.


You are with me and I feel you surrounding me with your love...again, I say simply...Thank you.

[WtchyChick13]

First off thanks again for that email yesterday. This will hopefully open up a lot of doors for me. :)

Thank you as always for M--for his support and his humor. He still knows how to make me laugh after all these years. I had a great time with his family on Sunday and it was because of that day that I got the email to begin with.

Now for a kind of silly request. I never ask for something like this because I've been pretty content being single. But this guy I met today really made an impression on me. So I ask you this...PLEASE let him be single, straight and interested. :D

James said I would meet someone this year that was supposed to be "the one" and that I would find him close to home--well this guy lives across the driveway from me! How much closer to home can it get??? :p

Anywhoo, Dad is coming down tomorrow. It will be the first time since my birthday that I'll be seeing him and that was a disaster. May tomorrow be much better and his medication work to give us a great day! LOL

May the weather be nice tomorrow as well. It's been so rainy and miserable this week, but tomorrow is supposed to be nice--I really hope so. I just want to have a nice time.

So mote it be! :D


(Thankies.)

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for Thursday. It was so great to see Dad again and most importantly, to laugh with him again.

It's been so long since we've been able to do that with his health being the way it is and with that other situation. Why does my grandfather feel the need to make dad's life so freaking miserable. No one is allowed to be happy in his presence and that infuriates me. Especially after everything dad did for him while he lived up there. There is no appreciation, no affection shown, nothing. Just more "give me" or "what have you done for me lately?" type of attitude. Whatever makes this man this way I'm sorry for, but enough is enough. Most people when they get that close to death from illness AND age try to repent at least a little. With him, it just seems to get worse.

I ask that you please watch over my father and give him the strength that he needs now to take care of himself. Let him go and talk to someone like he said he would and let him be able to live his own life for a change.

When I came home that nite, I looked up some old friends. One in particular that I've been searching for, for almost 15 years now. We lost touch after high school and I've been looking for her ever since. We were very close. Met her in youth group and she was everything I ever wanted to be. Thin, pretty, smoky voice, guys looking at her wherever she went....man, she even had the cool car! Picking me up in a '63 Red Chevy convertible? Even I was cool in that car! LOL

When I moved to Ossining, I was persistantly trying to find Jessi because she had lived so close. I wanted so badly to get that friendship back. The last weekend we went on together, we had committed to each other to never lose touch and we kept that committment for so long.

She was one of the first people I looked up when I finally got a computer almost 5 years ago. Every few weeks I put her name in to see if she shows up any place--nothing. Until Thursday!

I was so excited to see her name. There it was. Class of 1988, right school and everything. I figured because it was an alumni site, there would be contact information--but I was so wrong.

Instead I saw two words--In Memorium.

How can this be??? How did it happen??? You who were so full of life be taken so young? I wanted to be you so badly!!!

For the past few days, I've been trying to wrap my head around this--I finally started crying. I couldn't for a while, but when the tears came, they wouldn't stop.

So many memories came screaming back at me! I grabbed my photo album and looked at the pics of the two of us--we look like sisters (or at least a before and after picture!). LOL

You were talented, blessed with a voice that could bring down the house. You were also true presence. When you walked into a room, everyone turned around to see you.

For almsot 15 years I've been trying to get in touch with you and this is how it happens. I wish I knew when, how and where you are now. I'm hoping to find out--for my own sense of closure I need to know.

I loved you. You were someone that I could talk to about anything. Someone I could be silly with and forget for a few moments that real life existed. You made life seem like a movie at times and that was fine with me!

I hope that whatever happened and wherever you are now, you are at peace. Maybe come and visit me every now and then, ok? (Although, I HAVE gotten a few signs the past few days that you've been here.) I bet you were just waiting for me to find out first. After all, why else would those things happen? lol

I miss you Jessi. I really do. I have for a long time now, but there was always the possibility that we would see each other again. I promise that once the tears stop, the laughter will come back when I think of you. It's been too much of a shock right now but we had so many silly times that laughing will not be a problem. :)

Finding out that you have crossed over has inspired me to find others that I've lost contact with. I know I've been trying to find a few people over the years, but this time, if I find them, I won't hesitate to actually contact them this time. Life's too short. You'd think I'd know that by now. But it took this to drive it home.

Now that I think of it, James told me in January that I had another female guide that was with me...it would be great if it turned out to be you. :)



On another note:

I thank you for my mother who is just silly and had me laughing all weekend. We really had a good time and yet, we did nothing! I love weekends like this!!!


When will I see the crow? I'm waiting. I was told the sign would come soon...I'm kind of curious to see how.


May this week go well and that big thing happen and go real well.


Thank you--
So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Please be with the animals. They are defenseless and the kids are scaring the hell out of them!

The last time something like this happened, I never slept because of the nightmares.

Please watch over them and keep them safe. Please let these kids wise up and stop the violence. :(





Let the rest of the week go well and keep M safe out west. Don't let him get into any trouble out there! ;)


So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Please...

Please be with my little one. I don't know what's going on with her, but she's been having a lot of trouble flying and today she went face first into a box. I don't know what I'd do without her--she's been my baby for 6 years now. Please watch over her, she's so little and means so much to us. Heal her and be with her.

Please continue to keep my own pain at bay. It will be sometime before I can afford to get them fixed and I don't want to live on painkillers forever. If I can just get the means to go to someone, I'd go tomorrow. But since that's not going to happen, I just need to have the pain be at a minimum so that I can at least eat. Thank you for what you've done for me so far in this area...it wasn't as bad today as it normally is.

Please get John safely back to Ireland. I'm sorry I didn't get to see him today, but I understand. I know he'll be back soon and in the meantime I get to look forward to the others coming over. :)


Please give me the guidance I need to finally write that bio. This is an amazing opportunity that was dropped in my lap and I don't want to blow it. I just can't find the words and that's just not like me.

Oh and one more thing, am I still waiting for the crows? I think I am, but I'm just not sure.


Thank you just for being there.




For all that I ask, I ask that it be so.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you...

Thank you for helping me with the pain. It's still there but not as bad, so thank you for that.

Thank you for being with my baby. She seems to be doing a bit better--I hope she continues to be this well. :)

Thank you for my friends. The support that I've been shown the past few days really is amazing. They are true originals!!! :D


Thank you also for the creative energies you've been showering on me lately. I've really needed the boost and you've been more than generous with this gift as of late.


May all the goodness continue. May it get even better and I thank you for everything---even just for being there with me at all times.


May it all be so. ;)

[WtchyChick13]

I need patience. I know why she said it, but she picks the worst times to say these things.

It feels like the calm before the storm and I don't think I could handle that right now--so please let the storm just blow over.


Also, Monday is here. With each new week comes a paranoia in me that lasts until Friday nite. Please, don't let it happen again. I lose sleep and I can't afford tht either right now. So please, clear my mind of this thought. Let it slip away and let the protective bubble continue to cover our house so that my worries will go away.


Thank you for the weekend and the nice weather today. Thank you for continuing to help my birdie get well and thank you for your constant presence in my life.

May this week prove to be a good one, a profitable one and a creative one. May I continue to be focused on my goal and keep my drive going so that I can prove not only to myself but to others that this is what I was meant to do. I know that this is what I WANT to be doing, but it's proving it that is the hard part. Unfortunately, the proof needs to be in the form of the cash coming in.

May my things continue to sell and with Mother's Day right around the corner, may my pieces get noticed.

I saw the crow today, is that my sign? Is this the one I've been waiting for??? Is this my symbol that things are about to change significantly for me? (Please be for the better.) I hope so. James said within 6 months--it's almost 5 now. I'm ready.

May all that I ask be so--so mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Please don't let this be as bad as it can be. Let me go in there and find out it's something really simple that I can fix.

Please also let my breath come back to me--I'm afraid that it's another scare and I can't afford to find out.

I do thank you for the creative energies sticking with me--I'm liking what I'm making--perhaps a little too much. :lol:



Please again, let this be ok. Keep the badness away.



So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Ok, I never post twice in the same nite, but it looks like the badness happened. So he needs to come up here. Please give me the strength to deal with the whole situation. Keeping Mom under control and making the place somewhat ok.

In the meantime, I am begging you not to let it get any worse so that I can at least postpone his coming up until Monday.

It's Beltane, it's a New Moon and it's a Thursday--I'm hoping that these three things put together will help the money situation continue to grow, continue the like attracting like and helping me more and more to move.

I'm working so hard right now and physically, it's starting to take it's toll. I'm achy, stiff and coming down with something. I've had a headache for four days now and while I do thank you for not letting it grow into one of my migraines, it is always present and making it harder and harder to concentrate on what I need to be doing.

I'm asking you now to please let all of this work pay off. To finally let it be my turn and to let what I've been working toward be what I was truly meant to be doing.

With all of my heart--I thank you, I honor you and I ask that you help to let this all be so.



So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Please just let my stomach calm down. It's really painful and it's been so good over the years--I'd rather not get the ulcer back over something this stupid.

[WtchyChick13]

Please just let me get to the weekend ok.



Thank you.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for being with me today. Things have certainly calmed down and I know you were with me while he was here.

Now for a happy weekend! :D





Thank you.

[WtchyChick13]

Just wanted to say thank you. I've been asking for a lot lately and I'm happy to say that I made it.

Thank you for being there, thank you for the laughs this weekend and thank you for being with the birdie during her latest 'crash' landing.

She's been having such a hard time lately and I know that you are watching over her for me. Thank you for that as well--I don't know what I'd do without her.


Thank you for everything. Your presence has been and always is felt. :)

[WtchyChick13]

Thanks for inspiring me to take that walk tonite. It was sooooo quiet out there and I just wish it would always be like that around here.

Everything looked so nice and new and just amazing. Especially with that slight touch of fog to the nite...it was truly incredible!

I have to say, it was also a little "Alfred Hitchcockian" as well. When the cats started coming out and when I started seeing them all over the place? I kept waiting for the scary music to start!!! :p


But anyway, I know it will never look like this again. So I thank you for getting me out there to enjoy it while it lasted. I know it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and for once, I didn't let it pass me by.


Thank you. :)

[WtchyChick13]

Oh please help me. I didn't realize how bad this season was until I ran out of the meds and now I don't have the money right now to get more. Even taking one of Mom's pills isn't working--it's just making me feel dizzy and 'zoned' which is why I stopped taking those to begin with.

I've also got this horrible rash and no matter what I use, it just seems to get worse. I've used every lotion and even the spray but since it's all over, it's like chasing a fly! One minute it bothers me on my arm the next, my leg...I'm going crazy!


Between the two, I look horrible (but with great hair! :lol: ). The rash has left me red, bloody and now small lumps started to appear when it flaires up and because of the allergies, my eyes look as if I went five rounds with Tyson! Not just swollen, but red and bruised from the rubbing. They haven't been this bad since I was a kid and they had to rush me to the hospital. Or when I almost went blind because they were so bad. Although the good thing is that my eyeballs haven't turned yellow yet--please don't let them this time. It's just too scary to deal with.

To top everything else off, the breathing difficulties are back as well and the cough is just horrible.

For the first time in a while, mentally, I feel good but I'm falling apart physically. Why now??? In two months I need to look my best and this is REALLY not helping me. Although I do want to thank you for helping me keep up with the excercises--I'm starting to feel really good and it's now starting to show. :)

I'm just asking please, let me get the money that I need for the meds. If my allergies could calm down then maybe the rest will as well.

I couldn't make anything tonite. When I tried to bend the wire, my hands were shaking so much I just couldn't get the piece right and had to give up. I've got so many ideas and some new supplies and I'd like to be able to utilize them. I've also got that order to fill...WHICH...would give me the money that I need...which would help me feel better...which would help me get work done...which would help me get money....It's a vicious cycle!!!

So please, I'm begging you. Help my eyes to calm down. Help me to breathe normally again. Help my skin to be soothed. Help to easy my suffering because that is exactly what it is--suffering.


Oh and one more thing--my birdie. I could not believe that she deliberately threw herself into my monitor screen today! She could've broken her beak or worse could've killed herself. I had no warning she was going to do that and it scared the hell out of me. (Her too as her actions told.) She's been having such a hard time flying lately and hasn't been feeling like herself, but this was completely out of character--even for her. She's been lucky with her accidents lately. I worry every time she takes flight now because I never know where I'm going to find her. It's like she's got no depth perception anymore. She just can't guide herself and I just don't know why. She means so much to me and I don't know what I'd do without her. So please watch over her and heal whatever is causing her so much confusion and whatever it is that is ailing her right now.



I ask please, that all that I've asked be so.


So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Please oh please let this little guy live. I feel like he was found for a reason and he's been doing so well so far.

I'm doing all that I can to keep him going and I have such a good vibe about him.

Please, let him live. He's so tiny, so vulnerable and so special. All he wants to do is survive, you can really see it in his spirit.

He's already a part of the family. He's just so tiny and little. I want to just hold him and let him hold on to me--but I know that I can't.

He needs so much strength and I'm going to need some energy to stay up with him tonite. It's going to be hard because all I want to do is sleep. But it could be life or death for him, so I will do my best.

He's just so little.




Please oh please let him live. :)

[WtchyChick13]

What an absolutely horrible day. That poor baby. He was such a little fighter and was doing so well throughout the nite.

Was it something I did? Something I didn't do? Was it just not meant to be?

I can't believe that you would bring this baby into my life just to take him away like that. Was there a special reason for him being here in the first place?

I got so attached to him in the small amount of time he was here.

He was so cute while he was eating...that little head-bob that he did. And that little squeak. Too cute.

I thought it was also cute that we had already gotten into a routine with him. He knew that as soon as the towel went back, it was feeding time! He couldn't even open his eyes yet, but he knew because that beak would be wide open waiting.

I knew going into this that it would be hard. That it would be emotional and that the odds were not in his favor. But I needed to give him that chance. I really did and the sacrifice of the nite was well worth it. He wasn't alone.

Mom said to me that what I did was to give him the chance that he wouldn'tve had if we'd left him outside. He had someone talking to him and keeping him warm and keeping him protected.

But knowing that his end came was so hard. He had been having trouble eating the last few times and I should've known that something was going on. I thought he was just tired. He probably was. He had been fighting so hard and that little body just couldn't take anymore. He just curled himself up and brought those little hands (ok, wingies) in close and went.

He was here for such a short amount of time and yet touched me so deeply. I can't stop crying and wish he was still here. Instead, he's now resting with my other baby who left us 6 1/2 years ago.

I know that it was probably for the best. But I still want to know why. What is the great cosmic message I'm supposed to learn from all of this? That I give my heart to easily? That no matter what I will always fight for the little guy? I already knew that! There was no reason for this particular little guy to be taken so quickly or for him to be sacrificed to tell me these things.

I know a lot of this is because I haven't slept and the emotions are boiling over now. But he was so small. So tiny. So helpless. And yet in that small tiny body, there was so much personality and to me that is truly amazing. I am glad that I spent that time with him and that he was kept safe. I just hope that he is at peace now. That he is resting and sleeping ok. I know that he is just right outside my door and that makes it a little harder, but I also know that now there is another little birdie "presence" that will be there to watch over my own Egg-Girl. Only MY bird would have 4 birdie guides to watch over her!


Thank you for the time I had with him. Thank you for Mom's words. Thank you to those here who sent energies to the little guy and thank you for the Egg for trying to cheer me up today. her cuddling with me really helped a lot.

On a strange note, thank you also for the meds finding their way to me. Mom buying me those pills really blew me away. I know she felt bad that I was upset, but that was really too much.

I also want to thank you for taking the pain away from me today. I didn't think I'd be able to get passed that migraine this afternoon nor to be able to make it until she brought the medication home. I'm just praying to you now that the full amount of pain doesn't peak again like it did today--it's been lying beneath the surface all day but please no more peaks.

I just ask now to please help me sleep tonite. To clear my mind of everything (including the crap going on around this complex) and let me make up for the sleep I lost today. I know I lost it for a good reason, but the way my own health has been lately, I just don't want to take any chances.


May I sleep, may the baby rest, may the full moon and the eclipse bring to me the changes that I so badly need and the changes that I've felt coming for so long now. May this be the time I've been waiting for.



So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for giving me such a different day than yesterday. For letting me sleep like I haven't slept in years. For my baby being so affectionate and good for me today and as usual, for my Mom with whom I got to share some great laughs with tonite. And of course I thank you for the special words of kindness that have been said to me here. This is truly a special group of people. :)

Most of all, I'd like to thank you for that truly amazing sign you gave me today. To come in and see those two birds on the screen window was just incredible! That was truly a rare thing and I know it was your way of letting me know that I did the right thing.

I really felt like they were thanking me. Like I was talking with them but silently for the short time that they were there. They made such a point of being there. To fly and then land again. To really get my attention and comfort me the way they did was just wonderful. An incredible sense of peace came over me while I was looking at them. It was what I needed and it made me smile and start to laugh and it was just perfect.

My birdie seemed to enjoy the visit as well! After all, if it wasn't for her spotting them I would never have come into the room at all!!! I think they made eye contact as well. Those two that were outside were looking over the room as if they were thinking, "well, ok. This is where he was. Ok then."

The Egg was so incredibly affectionate from then on. I also believe she had a new "visitor" with her today and hopefully she'll come to accept him as well. She seemed to be at peace with him as opposed to the others that come to her. But let's face it, this little one was so tiny maybe he's also a tiny visitor. :)


So I come to you now to say thank you for the strength that you've given me to get through all of this. I've known in my heart that you've been there, but to show me in that was outstanding. So I thank you for everything.


May I continue to heal and grow and learn from you and may the changes that I've been envisioning for myself continue to drive me. I know they are coming soon and I am ready for them. (I just wish I had a hint of when.)

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I don't believe this...I'm sick. :(

I've got a cold that feels like it's going to get much worse before it gets better. Nice timing too. With Mom going on vacation starting Friday--I was worried enough about her being home for a week...but to start it off with me not feeling well too? :rolleyes:

Please, please let me heal quickly. I'm miserable. I think I've let way too much of my energy out over this past week and it just caught up with me.

I'd like it to be a really fun time with Mom this upcoming week and it's not going to be if I'm bundled up under the covers forcing fluids!


So please, don't let this last long. I know it needs to run it's course and that I'm only at the beginning of what ever this is--but please, don't let it last long.

So mote it be. ;)

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for the birdie doing her "birdie healing" thing tonite and for watching over her.



Please give me the energy to keep up with her...let us have a great time and may the illness go away real soon.



So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Alrighty so I've established that I can't put two feet in front of each other, but I thank you for not letting the falls be much worse.

Please help me to heal and for the injuries to stop surfacing--it's been three days now and they are still coming.

Please help Mom's back. She was supposed to go back to work today after her vacation but can barely even walk right now. The meeting is HUGE that she is supposed to be at the next few days and she needs to be there. Please let her wake up tomorrow feeling much, much better.

I ask you now also to please stop the pain that has started within the past hour or so. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I can't go to the dentist with no money and with the problems that I've got with my teeth now, I'm barely holding on. Please don't let this be a new one. I'm running out of the pain liquid stuff and am already taking the ibuprofen for the aches and pains from the fall.

Oh and whatever this smell is that I think is gas, please don't let it be. The old lady downstairs can't smell anything because of all the damn perfume she wears, but all I can smell is the gas. But then I move around and the smell is gone. Maybe, I'm just losing my mind.


Thank you for being there and may all that I've asked be so.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Well I'd pretty much like to forget most of this past month...but since it's over and we are here at the time of the New Moon I ask you to please, please let this new phase bring only happiness and good things my way. I think I've paid enough dues in this past month alone to last a lifetime.

I ask you to please let tomorrow be the end of the phone ordeal so that we can finally put it all behind us and get on with our lives.

I need something good to happen and soon. It's been too much in such a short amount of time and this has to be the last of it. I'm used to things happening over a longer amount of time, but this was just a bit much for me.

So I'm asking and begging you now to please let this all be over with and may the new phase begin.


So Mote It Be.

[WtchyChick13]

I'm sitting here, I'm frustrated, I'm in pain and I'm just plain tired now. This week has been so hard and it wasn't supposed to go this way.

I thought if I lost the weight, or most of it, I'd be able to find the right outfit for the reunion but noooooooooo.....

Forget about that crap for a second...my poor mother who is getting a sainthood for this whole thing and who is so much pain and helping me out financially is just being amazing. She's an incredible woman and I hope she understands just how much I love her.

I'm going to need help getting through tomorrow. I wasn't planning on going out to shop one more day, but mom is insisting that I give it one more try.

I'm in so much pain. I don't know how I was able to walk tonite, I really don't. I wanted to find something tonite so that I could just take the day tomorrow to recoup for the weekend. And now, I'll be going to the mall and trying not to cry in public as I have been for the past few days.

Please, I'm begging you...let me find something so at least I'm not killing myself for nothing. Let the pain subside so that I can get ready to enjoy this weekend. I've really started looking forward to it and the past few days have just been defeating. At one point tonite, I told my mother that I might just not go. Not because I don't want to--I want to. But because I want to be able to enjoy myself and not worry about well, anything.

It just seems like it's been one thing after another lately and I'm really just sick of it. I'm sick of having to be bailed out by my parents, I'm sick of being in pain, I'm sick of not being able to eat normal food, I'm sick of not being able to walk down the block without something going wrong! I'm just sick of it.

Right now, I need to focus on the next few days. I need to get my 'positive attitude' back. I need to get that "oh so happy feeling" that everyone knows me for having because goddess forbid I show another emotion other than extreme happiness. :rolleyes:

I need for something good to happen. However trivial. I think that's why I'm so focused on the whole outfit rediculousness. I hate clothes shopping...always have. But it's like now, if I can just 'conquer' this already, maybe something in my life might go right for a change.

I know that's stupid and rediculous and all that...but right now, it would be something.


So I ask for your help here. Please, let this one thing go right so that it can lead to the next good thing and the next after that. Everyone needs a new start and I'm more than ready for mine.


So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Well here it is--finally. I wait all year for this week and here it is! The beginning of my favorite time of the year!!!!!!! YEA!!! I made it through the summer of hell....the spring of well, hell....and the blizzard! LOL

You know I'm excited when I actually cleaned today. :lol:


I'm asking you to help me make the most of this time. I feel so alive this time of the year. The creativity starts to flow again--inspiration comes from everywhere! I've actually started making new pieces again...it's been so long since anything new has come to me, it feels great!!!

Please help me to stay focused. I need money more than ever right now. I have nothing in the bank. Not even enough for the monthly charges. I need cash to start coming my way. I need this time to start drawing what I need to me...please.

I keep getting your messages, I hope you know that I AM paying attention. :)

What I also need help with is to keep my mind clear of the crap that has been costing me a restful sleep. Thinking of comments made that won't get out of my head but instead replay themselves over and over again so that I lay awake getting angrier and angrier. Why does it only happen as I finally turn the damn lights off??? Right when I'm about to pass out for the nite, it all comes to me? Please make that stop!

I need to keep away from any injuries and other bad luck that the summer brought me. May that time please be over with. (It just got too stupid there for a while!) :rolleyes:

I need to get through the next two weeks of the anniversary. It's hitting me hard all over again and I've started with the obsessive nature that plagued me after it happened. I know it's only because it's coming and I'll get through it, but the nightmares started again a few weeks ago and that's not helping the sleeping situation any better. May we all get through this.



May this time of the year bring with it prosperity, healing and happiness. I've suffered through the rest of the year just to get here and now I feel like it's MY TIME! :D



As always, I thank you for your love, your guidence and your constant presence in my life that is always being shown to me.

May all that I've asked be so. :)

~~*SO MOTE IT BE*~~


**edited to add**

One more quick pointless thing--if the Redskins could have a good season, I'd appreciate it! :lol:

[WtchyChick13]

Help me through.

[WtchyChick13]

It's bad enough I'm going through it all again, but to get that slap in the face by the bank too? On top of everything else going on, it's just one more thing I don't have the strength for.

Please, let me get through the day. Let me get through this time and let the prosperity spell I did tonite come out ok. I need it so badly and have nothing. Or, I thought I had nothing. Now I find out I have Negative nothing!


Off of me now....

May the families and friends of those lost get through this time. May we Never Forget. And may we all heal.


So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

So it's another day of tears. I woke up thinking that since the anniverary has passed, now I can get on with enjoying my favorite season.

But no.

I wake up to find out that John Ritter has passed away. Why? Why was it his time? Why on his daughter's birthday? Why on THAT date? Why the week before both his birthday and his anniversary? This makes no sense to me.

Then as the day seems to get a little better, L calls and tells me that they rushed her to the hospital? This is insane! I know it wasn't the best circumstances anyway, but this is scary. Not to mention the fallback on L. She's more trapped than ever now.

It's just another day of tears and sorrow and I'm starting to lose it.

I need to enjoy my season. I need to look forward to the holidays. I need to get back to me.

[WtchyChick13]

Please oh please may this week go my way. Or at least, better than the past few.

[Athena-Nadine]

In all Your wisdom and love, please make it so.

{{{hugs}}}

[WtchyChick13]

:smooch:

[WtchyChick13]

Please oh please let sleep come to me tonite. Let the twisting and turning and thoughts running through my mind be at ease this evening.

I can't keep doing this.

[WtchyChick13]

Why. Why just when it seems that there is light at the end of the tunnel does it turn around on this little one?

This little one who has been such a fighter so far and has a big brother who loves him so. This little one who decided that he wanted to be a part of this world early and fought his way out, now is having this trouble.

I was hoping that with the New Moon that it would be a time for new opportunities to arise, for good things to come and then we got this phone call.

So now I ask that with the New Moon, may it bring this little guy strength, love and all of the healing energy that he needs so badly right now.


So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Please let the healing continue. Let his strength be his greatest asset right now and may those who we know are watching over him, continue to surround him with light.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Well that was a bust. Not that I expected anything to sell to begin with, but it would've been a great surprise if more sold.

I need money so badly. Please let the Full Moon spell that I did come to fruition.


I do want to thank you for my birdie and for her being here for 6 years. I also want to thank you for watching over her before when she got tangled up. That was a bit scary but she seemed to recover ok. She was petrified and I admit it, so was I. But I thank you once again for watching over her and may we have another 6+ years with her!


Finally, may the nightmares stop. I've been sleeping so strangely lately and last nite, the tossing and turning was brutal. I'm sick of thinking about the troll downstairs and the Super. They make my life miserable and I get scared every nite that I will have to encounter them the next day...thus leading to no sleep and walking on even more eggshells around here.

Please.....let my mind clear before I go to bed. Let my mind drift off peacefully so that I might get a restful nite's sleep. And may we not have to worry about the two of them again for quite some time.

May this all be so.....So Mote It Be.

[WtchyChick13]

Should I be as angry about this as I am? This is boiling up in me and of course I can't say anything about it. But 7 years of lousy weeks isn't right. This is supposed to be a fun week and a good week for me.......but again, something has come along to blow the plans.

I had thought that because it was getting so close that maybe I beat the jinx this year but who the hell was I fooling? Of course something came along to blow everything.

I know that if I went with dad I would've been thinking that I should be with mom so it's just as well, but I really wanted to see him. Now I may not get to see him until after Thanksgiving. Hopefully everything will go well next week and we can do it next wednesday.

In the meantime, there is this underlying resentment that is welling up in me. I let some of it out tonite by accident and got snippy. I don't want to do that. I really don't think she knows how upset I am by this. So why ruin it.

But c'mon it's not the first time this has happened! THAT'S what's got me so goddamn furious! It's like it waits in the wings for this one week every year to come along and destroy my happiness.

Last year I never saw it coming. But when it hit, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Depression to the nth degree and dumped all over my head.

This year I tried to prevent that from happening by not scheduling ANYTHING on that day. But nooooooooooooooooo. I finally make some plans and everything was good--then had to cancel at the last minute because "I forgot to tell you." Yeah well, that happens a lot doesn't it...especially during this week.

I should've known because the start of this week has sucked so badly that I guess I was hoping that would be it. I should know better not to assume anything. But just once I thought, this will be the year that I'll have a nice time.

I'm sick about this. I'm sick anyway, but this doesn't help me for anything. I want to shout, cry, scream and yell but at the same time feel it would be extrememly childish on my part to do so. I feel that it's selfish and I know that what I'm doing will be the best thing in the long run and of course I'm hoping that will be the end of the crap this week. I need something happy and good to happen. (And hey, if it boosts my financial situation too that would be good.)

Please. I need a break from the insanity. I really, really do. I need to hold it together without it turning inwards and making me even sicker. I need to keep my focus. (Which I was doing today but THAT got killed--but that was something I couldn't avoid.) I need to see that light at the end of the tunnel to know that it's all going to be ok in the long run.

This is my favorite time of the year and if I can just get past this week, I think I'll be ok.

Please, let me be ok.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Well after reading my own post and realizing that I sound like a whiny child...I feel bad. I don't mean to sound that way. Really.

It's the least that I could do after all she's done and does for me and I feel bad that it made me angry.

I don't mean to sound selfish. I just wanted a nice week.

[WtchyChick13]

I'm so sick. Please just let me and dad have a nice day...get me through it and let me then come home and go back to bed.

I'm just so freaking sick. All I want to do is sleep. My fever has me delirious and dizzy. Should make for an interesting outing. :rolleyes:

Please let us have a fun day like last time. Just being silly and looking at holiday stuff. Thanks and so mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I have no idea what is happening to me but I need it to stop. This week has had so many great moments to it but it seems to be taking a toll on me physically!

My things are selling and I'm so grateful for that. It's the first time in years I'm not that worried about holiday shopping. I'd like them to sell a bit more, but I'm not going to push my luck in asking for more.

On the other side of the scale is this illness. It has been weeks now and it just won't go away. Every time I start to feel better and I get out and do something, it comes back with avengence. Plus this thing on my mouth is starting to really worry me. It keeps spreading and I look horrible! I'm afraid too that I will give whatever this is to the birdie since she likes to cuddle with me so much.

Please. I'd like things to even out. I'd like my jewelry and gifts to keep selling so that I can give mom the great holiday that she deserves. I'd also like to start feeling better. To have whatever it is affecting me to go away so that I can fully enjoy this, my favorite time of the year!

May I also be able to find that ring to replace the one that mom lost. It would be such a great surprise for her as a gift this year!

Thank you for being with me and for the support that I've been given lately. For helping me keep my focus and for never letting me feel as if I'm alone. And may all that I asked above come to be for my own well-being.

So mote it be. :)

[WtchyChick13]

My health is still a big concern here. It's going on months now that I've had this illness. I thought I was doing much better but it hit me all over again. Today was just awful. To have the fever, the aches, the cramps, the sore throat, the mouth pain, the stuffed up head and then to be given a migraine on top of it all? I did not think I was going to make it through the day!

I really wanted to clear out that part of the room so that we could get our tree tomorrow but I just couldn't move for so much of the day. :(

I know that my sales have been good this year and that's helping matters a lot. But why is it always an either/or situation? Why can't I be healthy and really enjoy myself--this my favorite time of the year. I suffered through the rest of the months to get to this one and now that it's here, I'm sick. I don't get it. Why when I'm finally starting to make some headway with the business can't I at least be able to enjoy it?

I don't quite get the game plan laid out for me here, but it would be great if I could get some sign that this illness and actually this year of horrible health was almost over. Not that I want the year to be over...because I want to revel in this holiday. I just want the illnesses and physical ailments to come to an end. I feel as if I just have no strength left to fight off any other illness that may come my way.

Other than the physical stuff I'm happy. I'm just confused. Like I said, why does it have to be either/or? Why can't everything just be even?

Please let this full moon and the CEA be good to myself and to all of us.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I can't stop crying and now I'm jumping down people's throats for the stupidest things. It's been one thing after another the past few days and I just wanted to have a nice holiday time.

Please, let me just get through tonite. I'm supposed to be all cheerful and happy and I'm just not in the mood.

I need something to give. I need for something good to happen. I need to stop crying.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for getting me through the weekend. Thank you for my friends for their support and for the new friends I made on Saturday nite. I really needed that. (Although it was wierd to be around D and his wife. First time I ever met her and I couldn't have fun with him like I used to.)

I need you to be with them up there while the baby is losing his battle. They've all been through so much and they are tired and with the holidays...it's not going to be good. Please watch over them and be with them. Please don't let the baby suffer any more than he has.

I know this is going to sound selfish after what we found out about the baby, but I need a tiny little miracle to get the money to me as fast as possible. I thought I still had extra time--I don't know where my head has been! I didn't realize it's only a week away and now I have nothing liquid to spend. I haven't even started shopping yet and the person I need to shop for the most deserves the best. However, I can't do it without the money. So please, please help me get it in time.

Thank you. So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for helping out. I think it may be ok for now. That extra money will be very helpful and while I know I can use more, I'm very happy with what I've got right now. (Although I could use just a little bit more?) :)

Thanks for Dad for the great gift. Totally unexpected, definately needed and just very cool. So thank you for him. :hugz:

Please watch over Mom, she's doing so much overtime and she's not feeling well and with it only being 7 days left, I know that she's becoming frazzled. Hopefully this weekend she can relax just a bit. :smooch:

The baby is apparantly still with us. I'm so afraid that he will go on Christmas and that will be a constant reminder for them in the future. I just want his suffering to end. Poor thing. :(

Thank you for your guidance and if I could impose, please help my back to heal. I have so much to do this next week and if I can't move, I can't do these things. So please, let the heat that I've got on it now help (and the spiked eggnog help to relax it)....

Thank you.

And for all that I've asked--So mote it be. :)

[WtchyChick13]

Things have been going well. Surprisingly.

The baby is doing great although I won't allow myself to be happy about it yet. Business has been good, things around here have been ok and I certainly don't want to jinx anything!

I only ask right now that things keep going this way. I need to keep up the pace that I've set for myself and I need rest. The sleep I've been getting lately has been horrible. I have so many ideas going through my head and now I just need the time to get them done! But I can't do anything if I'm walking around like a zombie!!!

Also, I've been getting signs lately. My sense is really strong as of late and I don't exactly know what it's all supposed to mean. I get the strangest signs at the strangest times. If I could get one specific sign or whatever, to let me know what it all means, I'd appreciate it. :)

I'm also a little worried about the birdie. Poor thing is so tired and acting so differently lately. I wish that whatever she's going through, there is no pain involved. If she's getting ready to lay eggs again, I wish that it would go ok this time. It's been so long and it could be quite painful for her--but if there ARE eggs in there, she HAS to lay them or it could kill her. Please, ease her pain and help her through this--she is my baby and is with me 24/7. I don't know what I'd do without her. :(

Please give me the strength to keep up the pace, to keep up with the ideas, to keep my temper in check and may my sales keep going strong. I need the money so badly right now and it would be great if it kept coming in as I needed it.

Thank you so much and may this all be so.


So mote it be. :)

[WtchyChick13]

It's too much too fast and it's starting to take it's toll on my physically.

I need money so desperately right now, for the trip, for the bills that just suddenly landed in my lap and to help my mother. Suddenly it's all gone!

You'd think it was the holidays with all the crap I have to buy within the next 10 days. I don't have enough to go around either. I wanted to be able to get all of them something special, but now it's just a matter of getting basics that I can afford.

I do admit that one bill was my fault. I just forgot about it. And I know there is an annual payment thing coming up this month, but I just don't remember when it is. Again, my fault.

But I owe eBay now and I can't really list a whole lot until I pay them. Which begs the question now--how am I supposed to make money if I owe money? Sometimes it just hits all at once--for me, it's every freaking February! It was all going so well for a while and the money was starting to really come in. Now it's like someone pulled the rug out from under me. :rolleyes:

I'd really like to get up North to go see the family. If I can work it out I can stay with dad first then leave from there, go west for a few days then back to dad's and back home. It would be cheaper and faster and all I need now is the freaking money! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! And now with the baby not doing so well, it would be perfect for me to get up there to help out.

But it's not just me right now either. Mom just got hit with a lot at the same time and barely has enough for herself this week, let alone me. We just need help.

I've been keeping a lot in lately and my ulcer is nice and flaired up now because of it.

Please, help us. This isn't for me to go out and go on some shopping spree for myself. This is to help out family, this is to help the baby, this is all for good reasons. Please, we need it so desperately right now.


May this all be so--

So Mote It Be

[WtchyChick13]

I know there must be a reason for this...but what?

Everything was going so perfectly, the timing, getting the money...everyone being in the right place at the right time...is this all because I finally opened my mouth on Sunday and tried to move on with my life by getting it out with him? I thought that was supposed to be a GOOD thing!

This trip wasn't FOR me, it was for them. All I want to do is to help and instead, I'm sick. I think I'm a lot sicker than I'm letting on but I don't want to think about that right now.

I feel like I let everyone down. Them, dad, mom. It was her vacation too you know. :mad:

Now it's all been cancelled and all I want to do is curl up and figure out how to make my throat stop hurting so damn much. It hasn't been this way in years.

Please, either tell me why this is happnening now or help me to get better quickly so that the trip can come sooner than later. That little boy was so excited about seeing me and he's had enough to deal with...why do this to him as well?

I believe everything happens for a reason, but dammit! Enough is enough!

[WtchyChick13]

Well I got the reason thank you. And thank you for healing my little guy. (And me too.) :)

The next couple of days has to go well so that the trip can finally happen. I need to get a few extra bucks in my pocket but I know that will resolve itself.

Thank you for being with me.

Oh and one more quick thing....please help my birdie. She is so sick and I hate to leave her while she's not well. Just please be with her and help her to get through this and get well. She is such a big part of my life and I don't want to lose her. Please, help her get well.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Please, the fact that the fever is back and my cough is from my chest is scaring me. I need to leave tomorrow! It's all set!!!

I'm leaving whether I'm sick or not, but it's supposed to be a fun trip and it won't be if I continue with this illness. Please help it to leave me.

Also, my baby is still very ill. She is sleeping all day and while I finally got meds into her before, she's still not doing well. Please continue to watch over her especially while I'm gone. I'm so worried that she will pass while I am away and that's a thought that I just cannot bear. I love her so much and don't know what I'd do without her.

Please oh please, help her to get better. Keep me sick if it means healing her.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Please heal her. Leave me sick but please get her through this. I can't stop crying because I'm so worried about her. I just want to go home but I know that I can't. I'd never hear the end of it.

Let me get a message from them saying that it's not a good time and that I shouldn't go. I can't cancel again. And I can't disappoint my little guy.

But please, I'm making myself even sicker worrying about this--not only her but the trip itself. Something isn't right. I know it's not just my fear talking, something is not right about this whole thing.

But forget about me for now--please, heal her. Make her well. Let her know I will be back soon and that she should wait for me to get to her.

I'm not even gone one full day and I'm a wreck. I'm miserable and I don't want to be here. It's not fair to my family for me to be like this when I'm supposed to be enjoying this trip. But instead, I just keep crying.

Please, I am begging you...don't take her away from me now. Watch over her and please heal her.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for helping her get a little bit better. For getting her through while I was gone and for helping her to heal a little bit more each day. I know that she is still not out of the woods yet, but she's getting there and for that I am more than truly grateful. :)

Thank you for getting me through the trip and for getting me home safely. There was a time coming back that I really thought I wouldn't but I felt you with me and knew that it would be ok. Many, many thanks for that!

Thank you also for the wonderful time that I had and for the time I spent with my aunt and my little guy. It was time very well spent and a lot of silliness as well. I'm so happy that I'm so close to them now...so again, thank you.

I thank you also for my dad for letting me spend that time with him and for him letting me use his place as a pit stop on the way and on the way back. It was just the right amount of time and it was nice and quiet--just right. :)

Thank you as well for this weekend. Seeing these guys always makes me happy and while yesterday was fun (and profitable as well) tonite was like old times and I desperately needed it. Things from the past were all over the place tonite and it was just a good time. I laughed in a way I haven't in so long and it was fantastic. So thank you for that and for so much more.

I do need help in one area--and you know what that is. :rolleyes:

Right now, I need to get some rest. I've been going almost non-stop since I came back and I need a chance to regroup. To sleep. To figure out what the living hell I'm doing with my life.

All that aside, I really am grateful for tonite. It was like a step back in time...a very happy time.

Thank you.

[WtchyChick13]

Please be with her. Please let her cross peacefully. Please be with her family as they go through this. Please surround her with light and love and let her know that she has impacted us in so many ways. That she has indeed touched us and that she will be missed. But she also needs to know that it's ok to cross over. That her family will be watched over and loved and that it's ok. It's just ok.

We will all be together as this happens and we will all find strength in each other. We will be there for her family and we will go through this together. I know this, yet my heart still hurts.

I know this is for the best and so does her family, but that doesn't make it any easier.

Thank you for your guidance through all of this.

[WtchyChick13]

This is going to be a tough weekend. We will all be together and that will certainly help. After all these years, it's nice to have them as a support system.

Thank you for helping her to finally cross over. It's been a long tough battle for her and her family and it really was for the best.

Please be with the family this weekend and may this be the turning point that they so greatly need.

Thank you for letting us all come together for each other this week and this weekend.

Thank you for being with us and surrounding us in your love.

All I can say is, thank you.

[WtchyChick13]

Tonite was just so hard. The more I think about it, I don't honestly know how we did it. I'm so grateful that we were there for each other, but it wasn't easy at all.

I'm so worried about D. They were just so amazingly close and forever in love with each other and seeing him tonite just broke my heart. When he wouldn't leave the casket...........

I didn't want to cry in front of them. I wanted to be strong for all of them. I was so glad to have held it all in until I got home and realize now by the incredible headache that I have, just how much I've been holding in.

It was just so hard to see him looking so tired, so thin, so heartbroken for his wife. He is such a special man and so gentle and when he hugged me so tightly that he almost broke my back, I knew how touched he was to see us there.

The three of us going together---to be there for each other---this was something extrordinary and something that she would've loved. There were a few times tonite that I felt her around us and laughing at our expense. :)

I'm begging you now, please help us to get through tomorrow and Monday morning. As hard as it is on us, it's only a fraction on how hard it is for them. As it is for him.

I need to go cry this out now. I need once again to be strong for them and I will not show tears until I get home tomorrow nite.

Thank you for your love.

[WtchyChick13]

April is truly indeed a strange month. Just as I thought things were starting to look up...life throws you the old pie in the face. :rolleyes:

I ask you to please be with L. She was very close to her grandmother and I know these last couple of years haven't been easy for her. Her grandmother's passing today although really a good thing in the long run, won't be easy for those left behind. Help them to get through the next few days as the wakes and funerals take place...grant me patience to be with them if I am to go.

Please be with my friend as well and watch over his mother as she goes through the surgery. I know how badly he wants to be there with her but if you could let her know that he really is with her, that would be wonderful. Help her to recover quickly from her operation and comfort all of them as they deal with this as a family. :hugz:

I'm ok for now....others have more to deal with than I do at this moment and I'd rather see them taken care of. My stuff will be taken care of in time. :)

Thank you and so mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I ask you please:

For energy for my long day ahead.

For my health to improve a little bit.

For the patience that I will need to get through this situation. It's affecting me more that I thought it was and it turns out it's affecting someone else just as much...if not more.

For this idiot to stop trying to rip the rest our lives apart.

For this month to be over so that May will bring better things along.

For my work to manifest the prosperity I so greatly need to make my dream a reality.

For the focus and drive that I need to keep this dream going.

For the rest that I need right now to get the energy that I asked for above. :D

I ask you that this all be for the right reasons and that if it should not be, that it not harm anything or anyone. (But please let it be.)

Thank you for your love and light and constant presence in my life.

For all that I ask, so mote it be. :)

[WtchyChick13]

The call tonite was definately a surprise. Please, let it be true this time and let the baby finally come home. I'm so worried that they are going to give their hopes up again but let this time be THE time.

Give them all the strength that they need to get through this next week. Let it all go well and again, may it truly be time for him to come home.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Please, please, please let the sales this year be as abundant as last year. I just got hit with a few bills I wasn't expecting and I really need the money this month.

So please, let my work sell.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I just wanted to say......thank you. :hugz:

[WtchyChick13]

Why the hell did I just do that? I saw the bodies. I didn't want to see the bodies but there they were. These last four years have been hard enough but now......

Why did I do that? What the hell would make me look at them? How could I do that to myself? Like the nightmares I've had before weren't enough. Like the nightmares I've been having lately because of Katrina aren't enough. Why did I do that?

[WtchyChick13]

Goddammit they didn't have to kill them! There are organizations going down there to help. They didn't HAVE to kill them!

ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) -- As Valerie Bennett was evacuated from a New Orleans hospital, rescuers told her there was no room in the boat for her dogs.

She pleaded. "I offered him my wedding ring and my mom's wedding ring," the 34-year-old nurse recalled Saturday.

They wouldn't budge. She and her husband could bring only one item, and they already had a plastic tub containing the medicines her husband, a liver transplant recipient, needed to survive.

Such emotional scenes were repeated perhaps thousands of times along the Gulf Coast last week as pet owners were forced to abandon their animals in the midst of evacuation.

In one example reported last week by The Associated Press, a police officer took a dog from one little boy waiting to get on a bus in New Orleans. "Snowball! Snowball!" the boy cried until he vomited. The policeman told a reporter he didn't know what would happen to the dog.

At the hospital, a doctor euthanized some animals at the request of their owners, who feared they would be abandoned and starve to death. He set up a small gas chamber out of a plastic-wrapped dog kennel.

"The bigger dogs were fighting it. Fighting the gas. It took them longer. When I saw that, I said, 'I can't do it,' " said Bennett's husband, Lorne.

Valerie Bennett left her dogs with the anesthesiologist, who promised to care for about 30 staff members' pets on the roof of the hospital, Lindy Boggs Medical Center.

"He said he'd stay there as long as he possibly could," Valerie Bennett recalled, speaking from her husband's bedside at Atlanta's Emory University Hospital.

On Saturday afternoon, she said she saw a posting on a Web site called petfinder.com that said the anesthesiologist was still caring for the animals.

Louisiana State Treasurer John Kennedy, who was helping with relief efforts Saturday, said some evacuees refused to leave without their pets.

"One woman told me 'I've lost my house, my job, my car and I am not turning my dog loose to starve,' " Kennedy said.

Kennedy said he persuaded refugees to get on the bus by telling them he would have the animals taken to an exhibition center.

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals picked up two cats and 15 dogs, including one Kennedy found tied up beneath the overpass next to an unopened can of dog food with a sign that read, "Please take care of my dog, his name is Chucky."

The fate of pets is a huge but underappreciated cause of anguish for storm survivors, said Richard Garfield, professor of international clinical nursing at New York's Columbia University.

"People in shelters are worried about 'Did Fluffy get out?' " he said. "It's very distressing for people, wondering if their pets are isolated or starving."

The Bennetts had four animals, including two beloved dogs.

They moved to Slidell, Louisiana, in July when Valerie took a job at an organ transplant institute connected to Lindy Boggs. Lorne, a former paramedic, is disabled since undergoing a liver transplant in 2001.

On Saturday, as Hurricane Katrina approached, both went to the hospital to help and took all four animals with them.

They fed their guinea pig and left it in its cage in a patient room. They couldn't refill its empty water bottle because the hospital's plumbing failed Sunday, they said. They poured food on the floor for the cat, but again no water.

"I just hope that they forgive me," Valerie Bennett cried.

Copyright 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.


**please no one post here thank you**

[WtchyChick13]

Please help everyone through this day. This anniversary. This sadness.

[WtchyChick13]

DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT! Now you get to go to sleep and forget about it but you know that it's going to eat at me right? WTF is that? Why did you jump down my throat when I was joking? You do this all the freaking time and I'm sick of it. SHIT! Like my stomach hasn't been enough of a FREAKING battle lately now I have to deal with another night of pain? You know this kind of shit eats at me until I want to burst but NOooooooooooooooooooooooo you've GOT to take it to another level right? FU#@$%@#^@$^@#$^@$^@#$^@#&*^^@$$^@&%&%$#@^#$^$#@^$#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[WtchyChick13]

Ok, this has been going on for a few weeks now so I'm thinking it's not just a stomach flu anymore. I wasn't worried until I realized tonight that I really have lost a good amount of weight because of this!

Granted, the weight loss is a bonus, but this isn't exactly how I wanted to do it you know?

Right now, I'd just like to be able to eat without the pain afterward and without having to chase every meal with pepto. I can't get comfy! And just thinking about food makes my stomach hurt because I know the pain I'm going to be in after I swallow something.

Please, let this ease up. This is supposed to be my happy time of the year! I want to really enjoy it--like I did for part of today.

May this be so--so mote it be. :hugz:

[WtchyChick13]

I come to you so many times to ask you for things but now I'd just like to say thank you. Thank you for the good day that I had today. It made me smile. :)

[WtchyChick13]

CRAP!!!!!!!!!!! Why does this keep happening? First the crafts fair now someone who is a deadbeat? WTF?

This is supposed to be my favorite time of the year and one of the things that MAKES it my favorite time of the year is that it's the one time that I get to spoil my mother a little. Well how the hell am I supposed to do that when I sunk every penny I have into this shit only to have it blow up in my face so close to the holiday?

PLEASE!? Please. Let there be some sort of 'miracle' that will give me the extra bucks that I need to do my shopping. I know that there are certainly others this year that have WAY more to worry about. I'm not saying I want to hit the lottery here. I would just like to make a nice holiday for my mother. I would like to have more than the $5 I have in my bank acct. I know that dad is sending me money for the holdiays but it won't be enough. Not enough to be able to buy for her and the others I have to buy for as well!

Mom does so, so much for me and this is supposed to be my time to pay her back a little by giving her some nice things is all.

Please, help me.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Two more days to go--well, really one. This has been a year in the making from idea to conception. Please, PLEASE let it all run smoothly. Let no one blow it for me at the last second. Let them all get there on time and her be healthy and well-slept and ready for a good time.

She deserves only the best and this is the closest I can get to it. I've given it my all and now it's up to fate to see how well it will go. So let's hope it becomes the best time she's ever had!

I'm also hoping that my stomach will calm down a bit before then. I want everything to be so perfect I've internalized so much that I'm now paying the consequences! I just need to make it until Sat. and then I'll be fine, right? I'm worried about everything...the surprise factor, what's left of my money being enough for the final bill, the music, everything. I need to take a lot of deep breaths (with the help of my inhaler) between now and then and just start to relax.

Oh and if a great pair of shoes could find me before then...I'd really appreciate it! :lol:


May she have the time of her life.

So mote it be. :)

[DragonsChest]

So mote it be indeed! :hugz:

[DragonsChest]

How did the party go? I'm dying to hear all the details! :wave:

[WtchyChick13]

Party went great! Everything was phenomenal. (Family crap aside.) She was VERY surprised and she loved every minute of it. A year in the making and it was all worth it!!!

Of course now my brain is trying to wind down. I've been so busy for so many months now that the last few days it's been trying to process the fact that it's all overwith now.

Now I'm hoping for good karma to hit me big time--with a possible job and possibly going out with a certain guy. He really knocks my socks off and I'd love it if it worked out--even for a while. It's been quite a long time for me to be even interested in anyone and I don't want to get my hopes up but I really like this guy.

And the job? Well that would just be the icing on the cake. :)

Here's to happy karma! :cheers:

[WtchyChick13]

I feel like I'm 16 again. Please let me hear from him. This waiting for him to call business is rediculous. But it's been so long! (and I really like him)

Please even if it's just to say hi or come hang out or whatever.

so mote it be

[WtchyChick13]

Well gee thanks for nothing--haven't had a good cry like that in a while.

Things just keep going from bad to worse and why? What did I do that it all has to turn out like this? NOTHING!

I'm trying so hard to keep the good thoughts going, oh he was busy, whatever. This was a mistake wasn't it?!

Now who knows if the job will even still be there because of this?! And why was it so hard to have ONE thing go right or to even just have a new friend out of this? Or would it have been SO GODDAMNED TERRIBLE to go out with this guy? NO DAMMIT!

Why does it have to be THIS way? I hate myself for feeling again, for feeling like this again for getting my hopes up AGAIN!

Would it be so horrible to have him call me and say he was busy working and that's why it went like that? Well here go the hopes again.

[Athena-Nadine]

_pounce_ I'm always just an email away if you need anything.

[DragonsChest]

I sent you a PM, my dear. _pounce_

[WtchyChick13]

Thanks so much you two! :hugz: :huddle: :hugz:

I'm so grateful for my friends, I really am. :smooch:

I just sort of melted down earlier. I'm much better now. I kind of jumped to a few conclusions---matched with a bit of um, shall we say, hormonal problems I didn't realize? So add them all together and you get Wtchy having a breakdown that actually now that I think of it was quite theraputic!

I took a long hot shower, regrouped and have been in a much better frame of mind since then. I did a working in the shower and asked that all my negativity be washed away and sent down the drain and it really worked well! I came out a completely different person and realized that he didn't really do anything. I called at a busy time at work (duh) and his boss was sitting right near him so it's not like he could talk and because I wasn't really in the right frame of mind, I took it wayyyyyyyyyyyyy out of proportion. So after much thinking nothing really bad did happen. It was all me being in a bad place.

I'm hoping to go down there Sat. and I guess we'll see what happens. Hopefully we can talk and clear the air and who knows?

I'll be pacing the floor 'til then but in a better mood that's for sure! lol

Thanks so much for worrying--I'll be ok. It's been such a long time for me to even look at a guy that I'm way out of practice for all this crap. I forgot what it can do to you!!! :awilly:

I really hope I hear from him before then.

_____________________________________________________



Now I just ask that tomorrow, we be passed over for the random inspection? Please! Keep them far away from our door--surround our apt. with a bubble so that no one may enter but mom and myself. This is very important and we need something to go right this week!

Thank you.

So Mote it Be.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

We did get passed over for the random inspection so THANK YOU for that! Let's hope they don't do another one.


I've cleared things up with him and we've decided to be friends (for now). Things are good there so thank you.

He also made it possible for me to get the job that I wanted...but who knew it would be his! I can't believe he left just as I'm coming in!!! Ironic since working together was one of the reasons why we weren't going to date. :lol:

But I've got a new job that I am so excited about and the past few weeks have been incredible. A whole new group of friends, a place to hang out again, now a new job? I've waited so long for a new phase of my life to start and it's all coming into play now.

10 years. It's been 10 years since I've had ANY of this. I can't believe it! I'm so happy and so, SO greatful for everything.

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :hugz: :huddle: :hugz:


I hate to end this with a request but mom leaves for Mexico tomorrow morning and after the dream I had, I admit to being worried about this trip of hers. So if you could get her there and back safely (with a fun trip in between) I would be most appreciative. She's been waiting for this trip for a year now and it would be great if she had a fun, safe time!

And may Elphie be safe.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I don't want to fall yet I'm falling...and I didn't realize how much until tonight.

Things have been going great--job-wise, friend-wise and having him being a part of my life has been so great. He's become my daily touchstone and I love that.

But I know him too well and know his past.

But I also know his present and that he's really happy and I saw that tonight. I wish I hadn't seen that tonight.

I've been so interested in meeting her and kind of hoped in the back of my mind that there would be something not to like about her. But what I saw tonight? She was nice! And he loves her. He really does.

Why do I DO this to myself?!

To make matters worse...it's starting to show now and that's just NOT good.

The questions this week about if he we were going out or not were one thing...but when I was asked tonight if I had any feelings for him and trying to answer with a straight face? That one was not exactly easy. Especially with him sitting a foot behind me holding her hand.

I need R to come back to break this up a little bit. He grounds me. But these two weeks with him away and me and F speding all our time together have been both great and hard all at the same time.

Crap. I can't do this again. I need to focus on the friendship. I really do. I also need to stop being everyone else's freaking councellor and keeping all this in! I hated listening to everyone else tonight go on and on about all of their crap and the whole time keeping my usual, "everything is just fine with me" smile on my face. WTF!?

Ok. I'm nauseous, I feel like shit and I need to go to bed now. And if I get one more freaking text message tonight I'm gonna scream! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!





I feel better now.

[WtchyChick13]

Wow what a difference a day makes!

Thank you so, so much for last night. First of all, I haven't laughed like that in well, I don't know how long! I mean, my face actually hurt today.

Second, he and I soooo needed that time alone together. Not just at his place but at the bar. We needed to have it be just the two of us, having fun, no one else there and acting all silly. (Ok, the tequilla shots didn't hurt either but that's besides the point!)

And I thank you most for the time at his place. Talking all night long--how many guys do that? Not many that's for damn sure. And hearing what he said to me was just incredible. I've never had someone that I'm truly interested in tell me that I make them feel so comfortable and that I can bring out the crazy and the silly in him and that he loves that about me. And I love that he is in total agreement that above all our friendship comes first. That it's been something that has grown into something so special and we don't want to lose that. He's the one I talk to 4 times a day just to touch base and keep my sanity and I know now that I do the same for him.

It's all up to him now though. What he wants to do. And now that he told me things about her that I didn't know before I can't stop hearing the voices screaming in my head, "then what the hell are you doing with HER!" I know he needs to think about it and all that stuff....ok, I'm admitting it will be hard to see which one he turns to.

But......

I'm holding onto what he told me last night. That he feels more comfortable with me, that the age difference with her is starting to take a toll and that he's not sure why it started going downhill so quickly with the two of them. Oh and that he still loves her but that he's not sure now if he's still IN love with her. Again, he's got a LOT of thinking to do here.

In the meantime, I'm going to keep smiling about last night. After the week I had I truly needed it and it just kept getting better and better. So thank you. Thank you so, so much. :)

[WtchyChick13]

I wrote a whole big thing and then it got erased!

I'll shorten it here...

Reading my last post, I cannot believe how much my life has changed.

I'm more confident, (a LOT more confident), I'm happy and oh yeah, I'm happy!

I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for my life. Thanks for the happiness. Thanks for the confidence I've gained. Thanks for B. Thanks for letting him be so cool about the whole Pagan thing (I was petrified about that). Thanks for giving me the ability to speak up for myself when I need to. Thanks for the friends that I've gained and for their love and support. Thanks for keeping my creativity up--when it comes to the big parties, I really need that!

But most of all, thanks for the smile that lately seems permanently embedded onto my face! :)

[DragonsChest]

WTCHY!!!!! Where have you been? How have you been? Well, I guess you've been great, from your last post! I have missed you, my dear. Please bring us up to date on the life and times of Wtchy.

I'm so happy that your last post was so encouraging - now spill, girlfriend! Me wants details!!! LOL

[WtchyChick13]

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?t=140022

That should help! :rotfl:


Miss you girl!!! :smooch: :hugz: :smooch:

[WtchyChick13]

May he come back soon,
may he come back safe,
may things still be the way they were.

So mote it be. )O(



I really, really miss him.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for letting me hear from him today--I needed that. :)

Thank you also for letting me survive the fall. And I mean that literally. I'm still pretty shaken by it but because I couldn't let that show there and had to hold it all in for so long, I was able to get through it. But honestly, I was scared. I still am. That was an incredible hit I took to my head and I'm still worried about what damage I did. My memory is sketchy and my speech is still a little slurred but I'm hoping that's just because it just happened. I'm still all banged up and bruised and sore and am real sorry that I pushed things last night by dancing. That was just completely stupid. But after the week I had, I just needed to let loose you know? Just please let there not be anything seriously wrong with me. I can't afford to go to the hospital/doctor and right now I'm starting something in my life that I've been waiting for...I don't want to see that interrupted right now. We've already been interrupted by that trip...it sounds rediculous but I just don't want my health to become an issue with us.

On another note, (speaking of him), I hope I get to see him on Monday. I know he'll be coming home from a looonnnggg trip and has to go out that night later on, but it would be great if I could see him before that. Even just to catch up and talk to him. It's going to be one busy week and I don't know when we'll really be able to see each other. Jeez, this is so stupid. We're in a long distance relationship and we only live 10 minutes away from each other! But I'm happy so that's all that counts right? I hope that it's still good when he gets back...that we can just pick up where we left off...still be as happy as we were before he left. :)

Ok I've GOT to go to sleep. Just wanted to say thanks for letting me live. Really, I was scared out of my mind. It could've been so, SO much worse. So thank you.

And again, I ask you now to bring him home safely. Can't wait to see him.

Thanks again, so mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I'm glad I went down there tonight...if I hadn't, I don't know when I'd see him next. We had a good time and it was so nice to sit and joke around and hang out and all of that but more importantly, I'm glad we got a chance to talk afterwards.

I was so, SO worried about what was going to happen when he got back. And for a few minutes there it looked as if my fears would be made real. But after a while we both got our points across and it looks like we're going to try and stick this out for a while.

I wasn't kidding when I told him that I'm in it for the long haul. I meant that with my whole heart. I know this is going to be an incredibly tough thing for both of us to go through while we try and build this to whatever it is...and believe me, there is a BIG part of me that keeps saying to myself, "is this really worth it?"

Right now I can say that yes. Yes it is.

I knew I missed him horribly when he was gone but didn't realize how much until I saw him. And when he was himself near me and with me, it put my mind at ease.

One thing I really like is the fact that we can talk. We can put all of the cards on the table (no pun intended--inside joke with myself there) and get absolutely everything said that needs to be said.

But it wasn't until he walked me to the door and told me that he missed me too that my mind was finally at ease.

Have I been thinking about all of this for the past two hours? Hell yes! What exactly am I getting myself into? Is this really what I want? Is this really what he wants? Is this what I've been waiting for? I'd like to think that it is.

All relationships start off with some sort of obstacle. But man, this one is one that's going to last for almost another year! But again, I'm willing, more than willing to go through this with him.

I think one of the most amazing things about this whole thing is that he seems more worried about me in this situation than about himself. I wish he wouldn't. While yes, it's great to have someone in my life that actually thinks of me and how I'M feeling...but I'm worried about him too. As long as he knows that he can come to me, count on me and always talk to me...thats all that matters. I'm going to be there to support him and if it was even a question of there being any kind of a problem on my side of this? I would've just said 'goodbye' tonight.

As I told him tonight, I went into this knowing full well what the situation was. With my eyes wide open I knew this was going to be a challenge. I think I'm up for it...I just hope that he is as well.

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for getting me through a long week. Thank you for B being such a good guy and helping H out. Thank you for letting her be ok after the crash and again for letting B be the one that we can all depend on.

Now it's time for a fun and happy weekend--let it be so.

So mote it be. :)

[WtchyChick13]

I'm happy. I'm just really happy. I've been smiling all day for no particular reason other than we hit a month today and he makes me smile a lot.

I'm not used to the happy...but here it is anyway.

Gotta love the happy! :)

[WtchyChick13]

Again I say...

:)

[WtchyChick13]

It just keeps getting better and better. This is an absolutely amazing person that has come into my life and I can't for the life of me figure out why.

The things he says, the things he does, the way he makes me feel and smile...this is an incredible human being.

I love the honesty that we have and the trust that we've put into each other. Got over a little 'bump' yesterday because of that and to know that we can just talk it out is such a good thing.

I think we both need to stop thinking of things that we can't do and focus on the things that we can. To (again) stop worrying so much about each other and the situation and instead, just revel in it. And I think we're finally starting to get up that hill.

Something that has constantly amazed me is that this is someone who lets me be who I am. Who doesn't ask me to give up anything for him but rather supports the fact that I've got a life that doesn't involve him. I like the fact that we go off have our own thing going on and then come back to each other. Kind of saves us from killing each other. hehehe

There is still so much to learn about each other which is always a good thing. I love our talks and we do hit on some really strange areas but that's why we laugh so much. But there are so many things that he says to me that I've never had anyone, ANYONE say to me before and I don't think he realizes how hard it is for me to even speak after he's said them. I get so blown away by what he says that I'm actually speechless. All that comes into my head is, "wow. Did he just say that out loud?"

I am, in a nutshell, absolutely enamored by this man. And I thank you for bringing him into my life--for letting me know in more ways than one that this is who I've been waiting for.

Please bring him home safely. I miss him already and he only left this morning. I also hope that his mouth is feeling better--that's a lot of work to get done in such a short amount of time. I'd like him start enjoying himself a bit more you know?

And on a side note, please let this illness finally go away. This was just the worst week for it to hit me and I need to be well for Friday. There is a lot of responsibility riding on my shoulders this week and maybe if I suck it up and call in sick tomorrow I'll be ok for Friday. But there is still soooooo much to do! I think I've been pushing myself too hard lately and being sick is just letting me know I can't be everywhere and be everything to everyone all the time. I need a 'time out'. Please let me be better for this weekend. Friday is one thing, a BIG, HUGE thing but one thing, but I will get to see him on Saturday and I'd certainly like to be better for him as well.

May the rest of this week go ok and my Friday be everything I've been working so, SO hard for.

Thank you.

So mote it be.

[Athena-Nadine]

I am so happy to see such hapiness in your life. You deserve it. :hugz:

Feel better soon!

[WtchyChick13]

:hugz:

Going a little crazy. Gotta stop thinking...gotta get past the frustration...gotta see him soon.

Grant me patience and good thoughts.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Wow. That pic couldn'tve come at a better time.

Just when I start to get all sad and frustrated, along comes a friend with a pic of the two of us that reminded me of why I'm with him. (It was a lousy pic of me but still. lol)

I have a lot to keep me occupied until Sat. and that's good because I won't see him until then. I just need to keep the patience thing going during these long absences.

I hope he gets better soon and that I get a chance to talk to him and that we keep it going strong. I miss him so, so much. But I know that he's there and that we're missing each other.

On another note, please help my friends as they cope with their loss. The wake tomorrow and the funeral on Thursday will be very hard for them but I know that they will get through it together as a family.

Much love. :hugz:

[WtchyChick13]

hehehehe

I can't believe he surprised me like that tonight! I wasn't supposed to see him until tomorrow and yet there he was! As one of my friends put it, "boy did you LIGHT UP when you saw him!!!" Yeah, I guess i did. I was actually speechless and for me, well, that's saying a WHOLE lot!

Thank you for him, for the surprise and for me being just so damned happy to see him.

:)

[WtchyChick13]

Ok so quite a bit has been happening lately...

First, this crap with my job needs to end. Ever since I ran the Halloween party (and did VERY well I might add) I have no idea what has been going on with my boss and why he feels the need to make my life a living hell.

I'm so mad at myself for letting it get this far--three weeks with almost no sleep, a migraine that keeps coming back daily and my stomach in constant knots? Why, WHY have I let it get this far!? The last time he tried this crap I confronted him right away so why now?

I'm hoping upon hope that it will all get resolved tomorrow. I really don't want to quit but I can't keep working like this either. I have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow and I know I will need the strength to bring all of this up to him...but once I do, I will need even more to hold it together and state my situation to him. To not let him get to me like he did the other night to where I was hysterical crying in the rain during the biggest bar night of the year (next to St. Patty's day that is). To look him dead in the eye and say with utter conviction, "when did I become the enemy? I'm bringing in more people to this bar than have been in a year--what EXACTLY am I doing wrong?" (and hope that I don't curse him out or beat the ever-loving crap out of him as well)

Now while all of this is going on and while I'm completely miserable on the work-front...

My personal life ROCKS!

I'm surrounded by friends who have my back whenever I need them. I've become a member of a surrogate family and I love them all.

PLUS...

I also have the love of an amazing man who makes me smile in a way I never have before.

And now that he's finally met my mother (yes, it's come to that :lol: ) it's become even better!

I still adore this man with everything in me and the fact that I know how he feels about me has definately helped me to put the rest of my life into perspective. It's become such a balancing act of the good vs. the bad.

He once told me that, "no one else can feed my soul the way that you do" and now I truly get what he meant by that. He too has become a part of my soul and every day I'm more and more thankful that he has come into my life.

Right now, I keep picturing that it's after work...after my talk with the boss...and time to call 'B' and let him know what happened. Gearing up for seeing him tomorrow night, even though it will be for just a brief period of time but to know that I'll be smiling for even some part of the day will help me get through the rest.

And while I'm here, mom's surgery is on Tuesday. This is something she's been waiting for and we're just hoping that it all goes smoothly. Finally, she will be able to eat again without any pain. Please let it all go well for her and that she will heal quickly.

Thank you for everything. For him, for his love, for the smile.

And please, I ask for strength not just for me, but for my mother as well.

So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

Please let mom's surgery go well tomorrow and let her heal as quickly as possible so that she can enjoy her favorite time of the year.

So mote it be. :hugz:

[WtchyChick13]

Thank you for getting her through today. It was a little hard for her there for a while but she's so glad it's done and over with now. Maybe now she can eat without any pain and finally get the sleep and rest that she so greatly needs. Thank you!

And thank you once again for my guy.

Talking to him today and getting him to laugh after he had such a bad day was a blessing. I realized tonight how much I talked ABOUT him today as well. Between family members and friends asking all about him...it was kind of funny to have all the hospital stuff going on and yet there I was filling folks in on the 'new guy.' (Although he's not exactly 'new' anymore. lol)

The nice thing about it? I just kept smiling when I was talking about him. That's what he does to me...he just makes me smile. :)


So I thank you. I thank you for getting my mother through the badness and ask that her recovery be quick and with very little pain. And I thank you (still) for brining this man into my life and for this smile that just won't seem to leave my face. May it continue to be all that it is and much, much more.

So mote it be. :)

[WtchyChick13]

So it's been three months and the smiling continues. :lol:

We did hit a HUGE roadblock two weeks ago and we both thought it was over...but after about 4 hours or so of talking it all out we're back on track. Actually, we're better than back on track. :)

I'm still (yes smiling) over two voicemails he left me last night. One serenading me with one of 'our songs' and the other telling me how he wished I was with him. I'm sorry I missed the calls (damn phone was still on vibrate only 5 ft. away from me) but at the same time, I was able to save those voicemails and have listened to them a couple of times always laughing and smiling at what they were about.

I can't wait to see him on Tuesday. Probably the only time before the holiday so I'm hoping for a nice time.

You know, I keep looking back on this year and the incredible changes that have been happening in my life and can't believe what the last 8 months has brought to me. It all stems from me planning my mother's surprise party for May...if I hadn't done that, I never would've been hired at the place I had the party, never would've ended up with my second family, never, NEVER would've even MET this man who has become so incredibly important to me...and so much more.

I've made amazing contacts, I'm in line to work on some great new projects and to do something I've always wanted to do...work for a magazine.

There is just so much going on in my life right now and 98% of it is fantastic! (The other 2% is the pain I've been in but that can wait until after the holidays.)

I would just like to make the most of this week. To finally be able to enjoy the holiday season before it's too late. I haven't been able to really relax at all this year and do all of my corny traditional things that I love to do. Only a week to go and I've got a lot of catching up to do!

I am so grateful for this year, for the happiness that it's brought me and for the me I never knew I could be.

So here's to the Holidays and may all of our wishes come true!




So mote it be.

[WtchyChick13]

I cannot help but laugh at my last post. Not because of it's content but because of how much has changed since then!

B and I broke up a little over a week after that post and I haven't seen him since. His last words to me were--I'll see you New Year's Eve. Didn't hear from him again until two weeks ago. (sooo much to say about that mess but won't go into it right now)

Then two days after New Year's I lost my job. Nice huh?

I'm working for the magazine now and am forming my own promotions company but I still need something full time right now. The only saving grace was that a check came in to me from when my grandfather passed last year--without that check I would've been dead in the water.

I've had to postpone my move for a month or so which is killing me--the goal has been March for a year now and here it is, so close yet so far.

The great thing about all of this (yes, always a silver lining) is that I've truly discovered that my friends have got my back. They really came through for me when all the sh#$ hit the fan.

One in particular and I have gotten extremely close. He and I have become inseperable and I'm so, SO grateful for him. I must talk to him at least 8 hours a day if not more and spend a few hours with him every day. No relationship here just an amazing friendship. The next 10 days will be tough with him away on business but we've already talked on and off today at least 7 times. lol Only good thing about him going away for a bit is that I can now finally get some work done and detox a bit from this past weekend!

Speaking of, this weekend was amazing. What a group of friends I have. but to have a birthday and a going-away party within 2 days of each other hurt!

Tomorrow though is going to be real bad--the final goodbye. I don't think R realizes how much we're going to miss him. Should be a fun night though so we're holding onto that at least.

I finally get my damn laptop tomorrow. Hurray! Been waiting a while for it to be shipped so I'm psyched.

So enough of all that....on a very serious note:

My cousin's baby is not doing well at all. Kind of a surprise actually because the last we heard he was doing much better but now they think it's touch and go. He's made it this far after all the problems he had in the beginning of his life and here he is now at 3 and well, he needs some help.

I'm not here to ask for it...I've kind of been more than lapsed on my whole belief system and have absolutely no right to ask for anything...but felt that I kind of needed it to be put 'out there'.

That's the update. A little this, a little that. It's great to have a place to come to and vent a bit. :)

Cheers. :cheers:

[WtchyChick13]

Update:

The kids are ok. Colds but much better.

Laptop has become rather addicting-forgot how much I love these things. Now if I can just get my nails to stop sticking in the keyboard. (I've grown out my claws a bit so it's become a bit of a problem when I type.) :lol:

J and I are still spending tons of time together. Again, just friends but he's always there. I've missed him over this past week. Gone again but this time I got phone calls every day (drunken ones as well LOL) and now he's back in town but I won't get to see him for a few days. Ok, technically he should be calling me any minute for a before bed-time smoke but he flew today so he's probably exhausted. And I just realized how much I'm rambling....

Anywhoooooo...

Life is ok. Love my friends, they are keeping me sane in a rather insane situation. I'm running out of money fast and my mother just sprang up on me that she wants to move. I'd love to keep this place myself but still don't have a job right now. I did put my name in at the bar to become a second manager but it's going to take at least a month for that to kick in. So in the meantime, I'm getting worried about the $$$. I need money and need it fast!

On the happy front, I go see my Yankees next week for the second home opener. (Hooray!) Again, friends are crazy but are my life. I've become so addicted to these people and we are a family. I don't know what I'd do without them and don't know what I would've done without them over these past few months. They've really made sure that I'm ok and hanging in there and most of all, out of the house! Love them!

Ok now this is going to sound real odd considering the place I'm writing this on but the only 'major' change (besides recently cutting off my hair) is that I've basically given up everything spiritual and religious. I've realized that right now, I just don't believe in anything. Wait, let me rephrase. I still believe in certain things, paranormal, etc. But as for any kind of 'higher power'...not so much. I don't know if this is a passing thing or whatever and for 13 years I was a very dedicated person of the Pagan persuasion, but I feel like my life is shifting and my belief system has changed with it. I guess I've gone pseudo-Atheist if that's possible. I don't know what to call it but there it is.

So that's what's going on with me. I'll be back with another update soon. Hope everyone here is doing well and happy and all that good stuff!!! :)

Huggles!!! :hugz:

[WtchyChick13]

Wow it's been a whole month since I last posted...

Still looking for a job--getting desperate for money now. I've got a HUGE month ahead of me--4 birthdays, 3 parties, mother's day and them some. It's almost as bad as Christmas time!

Still happy for the most part. Love my friends, having a great time.

J and I are as close as ever and then some. Can't get into it but it's all good. I think my only problem is that I can't talk about it with anyone but I'm dealing so that's fine. And hey, that's why I can post it here! lol

Was offered an amazing opportunity to go to Israel and Egypt--all expenses paid--but since I refuse to get on a plane kind of a no go. LOL There are other reasons as well for me not wanting to go but I'm using that as the main excuse.

I've totally embrace my atheistic point of view. At this point, I have almost no belief system what-so-ever and have to say, I'm pretty ok about it! I've gotten to the "I could care less about anything" stage and somehow it's working for me. (If you are late on this subject, see above post.)

That's really it for now. Calling about a job this week. It's in the perfect location so hopefully something will pan out.

In the meantime, it's on to another month and it's starting on a favorite day--Tuesday! Love my Tuesdays!!! :)

Until next month...

[WtchyChick13]

Ok, while I normally only post here once a month, something happened tonight that absolutely cracks me up.

He told me he was jealous??? WTF is that!? LOL

After teasing me about hooking me up with this other dude who he knew I would have absolutely no interest in, there I am innocently talking to Mike when he comes back out to try and 'save me' only to find that I was having a good time.

Then after I buy Mike a drink, he waits until he's gone and then has the nerve to say, "well, I have to admit I'm a little bit jealous. Wasn't expecting that." No shit! I wasn't either!!!

But I have to say....I'm going to enjoy the HELL out of this! :rotfl:

[WtchyChick13]

I NEED A JOB I NEED A JOB I NEED A JOB!!!!!!!!!!





ps. miss him--can't wait until friday

[WtchyChick13]

Wow. I'm so glad we talked tonight...and sober yet. We really needed to get all of that out and it was so much better than I thought it would be. Not what I wanted (for now) but I think it really gave both of us quite a lot to think about. Plus the fact that we both agreed that no matter what, the friendship comes first and that despite everything that has been going on between us, neither of us feel the least bit awkward. I think that's amazing. Do I wish things were different? Absolutely. But for now this is what we are dealing with and that's where we're at. I'm sure there will be LOTS more to talk about in the coming days/weeks/whatever...and even though I feel extremely deflated, I still feel good about having laid everything out on the table. We really needed to do this.

On another note...

I SERIOUSLY NEED A JOB! I'm down to an almost zero bank balance and I desperately need to find something soon. Here's to hoping!

[WtchyChick13]

Well, we're right back to where we were just a few days ago except now we're both SOOOO aware of what is going on. And to make matters even wierder (sp?) is that he had his interview today for the Jersey job that he might just get. I know there is a big part of him that just doesn't want it or want to move down there but it would be such an incredible thing if he got it. I made a 'joke' again tonight about moving there with him, but even though we laughed about it, we both know that I'm dead serious about that offer. It's an impossibility I know, but the offer is 'out there' and he knows that he has my full support either way it goes. I certainly don't want him to just up and move away that's for damn sure...but if he ever decides to fully change his situation, I'll be there and he knows that.

Plus, it's not like I have a job to worry about leaving! Do I want to move down there? Um, not really. My friends are here, my mother, my dad isn't that far away...but career-wise it wouldn't be a major thing for me and may actually be the reason I haven't found anything here yet.

But again, these are all pipe-dreams as I know that there is a MAJOR obstacle in the way here and that I am once again the product of bad timing.

In the meantime...

I STILL NEED A FREAKING JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Alrighty, after having blown off that steam I can now go to sleep.



'nite. :)

[WtchyChick13]

Still on the job hunt...had a bad interview on Friday but have another one on Wednesday so here's to hoping.

Within the last week and a half I've applied to about 40 jobs and have gotten several rejections. ugh

As for the guy thing, still nuts and crazy about this incredible man but still can't tell anyone--crap. We had such an amazing weekend that seems to be spilling over to tonight and haven't been able to get this stupid smile off of my face in days.

I just wish that with everything he does for me, I could pay him back somehow. And now he's driving me to my interview which is not just down the street like I thought it was. I need to hit the lottery so that I could pay him just some of what I owe him right now.

In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy what I have and just keep on smiling. :)