Need some cat advice, please

[Garnet]

Some of you know that I had to put my cat, Miss Cleo, to sleep last week. Her diabetes couldn't be controlled any more & she was very sick.
My problem is the other cat. Not Ramona: she was my owner for several years before the other two moved in, & the two females never did get along. She doesn't seem to care at all.
It's Bubba the WonderCat. I got him & Miss Cleo together: they were from the same litter (though I got them as adults).
Can anyone offer any advice on how to deal with a grieving cat?
The cats shared dishes, a big one for water, & a small single & a double one for food. I put the single one away, which seems to confuse Bubba. He stares at the spot where the single dish used to be for a bit before he eats, & his appetite isn't good. He's always been an affectionate cat, & now he's 'clingy'. He sits on my lap when I'm at the computer, leans against my leg when I'm on the toilet (& throws a fit if I close any door he's on the other side of: luckily I'm the only human in the house), & follows me everywhere around the house.
He is always looking for his sister. He'll roam the house for a few minutes, then come sit with/on me for a while (he has to have some part of his body touching mine now).
Bubba & Ramona used litter boxes in the spare bedroom; Miss Cleo preferred the basement. The other cats won't use hers anymore (they did before she got sick, not much afterwards) although they've both been scrubbed out, with new liners, litter, & pad underneath the boxes. I'm planning on remodelling the 'rec' room soon, & moving the TV, stereo, & computer down there. Since I expect to spend most of my 'awake at home' time there, I expect the cats will be with me a lot. I want them to be able to use a litter box down there, & not have to trot up two flights of stairs. Should I throw out Miss Cleo's boxes & get a new one? Is it 'her smell' they object to? I got a 'True Aire' electric air freshener for that room. Could that be the problem? It's silent (to my ears, at least), & really works well.
They all slept with me; Bubba & Miss Cleo at the foot of the bed, & Ramona curled up at my shoulder. Now, Bubba waits until Ramona & I are asleep, then moves in & swats at Ramona until she leaves, then he lays down. He moves back to the foot of the bed soon, but can't seem to stand Ramona sleeping against me, so when she returns, he does, too & starts slapping her again. He seems to start a lot more fights with Ramona, too.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Tiana_Ecarias]

About the litter box, yes get a new one, and move it. It's not the smell that bother's them, it's that they know that one was her's, and she now gone, they don't think that they should use it.

As for the single cat dish, trying putting it back out and putting food in it for him, it might help his appetite. If that doesn't help, try a new single dish, either way might help/

AS fo helping a cat grieve, all you can do is give them a lot of affection, and try to be understanding. It takes some time for them to adjust, just like people.

I hope that helps some,

Tiana_Ecarias

[Rubi Waters]

I agree with everything that Tiana said.
it's gonna take some time.

[WynterWynd]

Yes get a new litter box. But as for the grieving, it will pass in time. My Wizard just lost his son Bandit last September, and for about a month and a half he was not himself. He was nasty to his house mates, who were also missing Bandit, so this didn't help. He would look for him and sometimes sit and stare at me as if I had done something wrong. Bandit left in the cat carrier in a huge hurry and didn't return. Eventually they will get back to their normal or almost normal selves. A good friend of mine just had to have one of her eight put to rest, he was 13, and the other seven are all acting very clinging or bitchy! They are swinging from both sides of it. When my Claws died, Tigger grieved the most. And when Bandit died, it was Wizard that grieved the most. It seems that the cat they were the closest to, gets the worsst of it.

Blessed be

[Garnet]

Thank you for the great advice.
I got a new litter box for the basement, & maybe they'll use it when the weather & the basement warm up. I put back the single bowl, but have replaced it with a new one; soon I'll replace the old double one with a new single one.
Bubba has stopped beating Ramona up in bed, now he just leans against her 'till she leaves. He doesn't spend so much time looking for Miss Cleo, but he's still clingy. He lays on the floor next to me when I'm online, with one paw on mine, but he doesn't have to be in my lap all the time.
Again, thanks so much!
Garnet, Bubba, & Ramona

[Tiana_Ecarias]

you are very welcome, and give both Ramon and Bubba pets for me, and here's a *hug* For you.

Tiana_Ecarias

[Psyche Ague]

*kisses and love for the little ones and hugs for Garnet*

[Garnet]

Thank you!

[Lacykitten]

I am truly sorry for your family's loss. I know how it is to lose a loved one, and people who think animals are less than us emotion-wise just needs to see a cat grieve for the loss of someone they love.

I've lost three cats so far in my life (I'm 20) and the last one was the worst due to how sick she got and stuff.. The rest of the gang were very unhappy, withdrawn, cuddly. Peach is still more cuddly with me than he was before, but he's also getting older so that might be it.

My ferret actually had an interesting reaction to Sugar's passing.. She was taken to the vet and put to sleep there.. Mischief, the ferret, used to make a little play noise around Sugar, and when he was playing. He's never made that play noise since. And it's been over a year now since she died. Sometimes animals seem like little little children, and not adult animals, and something like that can really wake you up to how strongly they feel about others.

I wonder if there are animal grief councellors.. When we had to put Sugar to sleep I kept seeing others in there too, and I felt so horrible that anyone has to feel this way when losing someone they care for, I was pondering going into the grief councellor area of work.. but there are lots for people - do they have them for animals?? Hm..

Anyway things will clear up for your guys soon.. they just need to be reassured that they are still around, and that YOU are still around. They just lost a sister, they need all the reassurance they can get. Imagine if someone you've spent all day every day of your entire life died.. how it would likely be more horrible because you were always together.. had that incredible bond of rarely being apart, rarely being out of the same house. It's like a marriage with no shopping, no vacations, no jobs.. just constantly being together. I can fully understand why they would seem to need more reassurance than we do sometimes.

Hug them a lot. Make them as happy and loved as you can. You need it as well as them. :)