Need some advice.

[MoonAmethyst]

Lately I've been feeling rather low, been dealing with bi polar depression for almost two years now. Is there a specific book for healing yourself? A new age book, something that will help me relieve some of the stress. I've tried looking for several books but haven't came across one yet. It will be most helpful, I'm just tired of feeling low and depressed. :sniffl: please help.

[Umbress]

You speak of the depression but do not mention the other side of bi-polar - the mania.

I have two family members who have bi-polar II. Their manias aren't to bad but their depressions can be very impairing.

[miredsylph]

In my experience, the best way to deal with Bi-polar depression is to medicate. This isn't something I normally advocate, please understand; I had to come to the suicidal breaking point before I could accept that maybe, just maybe, modern medicine might work where my holistic-herbal-self help approach had failed. I hated the very idea of relying on drugs to get through the day! But, for my familys' sake as well as mine, I went on meds.
And I've never regretted it. It took a while, some adjustments, but eventually, I felt better. I could get through a day without crying or wanting to scream or kill someone, or hurt myself. I could have fun and play, with my kids and my husband. And after a few years, I didn't need the meds as much; now I'm on an 'as needed' prescription, and I need them less and less.
Sometimes, it's just a matter of straightening out your body chemistry for a while, yeah? The only outside thing I really recommend is to identify the people, places and activities that truly stress you out, and to distance yourself as much as possible from them. If possible, stay away from them altogether. After moving 3500 miles to remove myself from my mother, I know what I'm talking about.
Going to the Psy guy for the first time can be terrifying, but if you really want to start feeling better, you've got to bite the wormwood and do it. You can pm me if you have questions, anytime, ok? I've been right where you are. Good luck, and Brightest Blessings!

[RoseKitten]

I have to second the medication, but it can take time to find the right one. Seroquel worked well for me, but it doesn't work for everyone. But, I will share my story, if you want to read it, because there are other factors to consider as well.

I was diagnosed as manic-depressive when I was 16. I had fought with it for years before I was diagnosed though. It wasn't until I started trying to kill myself, or at least having dangerously passionate thoughts about it, that I finally told someone.

The first medication I was on was a "new" drug, and by new, I mean I was one of the test subjects. It was a narcotic based drug, and it did help take the edge off of the depression aspect, however when I was manic, I was high. In HS I couldn't appreciate that (lol, college), and I hated it. I stopped taking it after a month, because I hated what it did to me. The "therapist" I was seeing was a jackass, which didn't help at all. One thing I always hated was they "but, why do you feel that way?" line. Gee, maybe because the chemicals in my brain are malfunctioning, and not communicating properly. There was never a "good" reason for why things set me off. In fact, I decided therapy was only making things worse for me (which, it was) and I stopped that as well. My mother had to go in with me and the head Dr. talked to her, about me, while I was sitting there. She said I was "just too young, and not very smart." Kudos to my mom, she did something that made me respect her, she told the woman to shut up, that her daughter was smart, and that if she (I) said that therapy wasn't helping, then it wasn't. We left. I found out a few months later that the clinic had one of the highest suicide rates for patients in the country.

Moving forward, things only got worse. I met my first husband, who capitalized on my fears and lack of control over my emotions. He abused me mentally and physically, cheated on me, and had me scared to leave because "nobody but him could love a ****-up like me." After he tried to run me over with his car, I moved to Bloomington to go to IU.

While there, things didn't really get better. However, I did meet my current husband. However, my psychosis was hard for him to handle, and he couldn't be with me. That about destroyed me. I delved into smoking a lot of pot in order to take the edge off of my depression. It seemed fun at the time, but looking back I was just putting a band-aid over a crack in a dam.

Eventually I moved back home. After living there for a couple of months, things were only getting worse. My episodes were stronger, more frequent, and almost cost me my job. I finally went back to my family Dr. of 10 years and talked to her about my options. She agreed to medicate me, so long as I kept her updated, and that if we couldn't work out the medication I would have to see a therapist. That incentive, combined with the fact that I really wanted Brian (my current husband) back drove me to find out what the cause really was. See, he wouldn't marry me because he didn't want our kids to have to deal with being bi-polar, and while it hurt, a lot, I did understand somewhat where he was coming from. So, I set out to prove that it could be controlled without medication.

I started meditating, a lot. I connected with my spirituality, and I set about finding what made me tick. As it turns out, all the instability and abuse growing up had set it off. We moved a lot when I was a kid, and I never really had friends. I was tormented in school, and never really felt safe, anywhere. The medication gave me a break from my episodes so that I could work on getting a foundation back in my life. Once I found that, I stopped the medication. It's been a year and a half since then, and I haven't had any problems. But, for me, it was the desire to prove that my bi-polar was me unable to handle my environment, and I had to want to change that.

I cured my bi-polar through sheer force of will, but I couldn't have done that without the medication to give me a break from myself. Not all bi-polar is based on environment though, because sometimes it is just in your genetics. When I'm really stressed, I notice the tendencies start to come back, and I force them to stay down and under my control. It's hard. It's *very* hard to do that, but it can be done. You need to do some deep searching and find out what your triggers are. Medication helps you do that. Once you find one that works, you may find that there aren't any triggers, and that it just is something that is a part of you. Only you can make the call as to if you can fight your own chemicals. Not everyone can, and I'd wager that I'm rather lucky in finding something worth fighting for. There is no shame in medication, and if it makes you happy and productive, you should stay on it. Ultimately, the call is yours and yours alone to make. Finding others to talk to helps a lot as well. I've vented here on numerous occasions, and if you do it in the proper part of the forum, you don't have to worry about the name-calling and rudeness you may find in other areas of the forum. You may not always hear what you want, but that's just a by-product of people trying to help. Sometimes the advice we get, while hard to hear and sometimes even painful, is the truth.

:hugz:

[Catiana]

FORUM GUIDE MODE

Since this post really has nothing to do with animals, I'm going to go ahead and move it.